Don't Get Me Started with Linda Sharp

Where Is Your Humanity?

Two weeks ago, reports began coming out of Yuma regarding a detention facility there.  As so much of the concentration-camps-at-the-border news had been focused on the Texas-Mexico border, it was a revelation to many to hear about another state involved in the horrific treatment of those they caged.

The news?  More children, more hunger, more filth, more neglect, more sexual abuse.

And then, like all the other reports, and the Epstein pedophilia revelations, it faded into the ever expanding black hole of the Trump racist tweet scandal-rally chant news.  I give them this much - they do know how to throw a good distraction, and we are always stupid enough to follow the next shiny thing.

Last night, however, more reports began emerging from Yuma.  And if you are not sickened; if you are not feeling pain in your heart; if you are the least bit bored with the stories, I have to ask:  Where is your humanity?

Highlighted was a 17 year old boy named Abner who had been held for 11 days late May to early June.

Before I go further, I want to say to anyone who immediately equates a 17 year old with brown skin as sinister, an MS-13 member, a drug mule, or a rapist - STOP.  Pull your head out of your goddamned ass, and look around you.  Millions of 17 year old boys - gangly, uncertain, hungry all the time, scared of the future yet trying hard to front bravado.  Maybe you have one in your own home.  Maybe you are an aunt or uncle.  Maybe one cuts your grass each week.

Abner, just like your 17 year old, is a human being.  The difference being yours won the birth lottery and was born here.  Abner was born in Guatemala.  He fled the extreme poverty and danger - and despite his treatment here, his thoughts are with his four sisters still in Guatemala who he would desperately love to rescue.

When he was taken into custody, he was thrown into a holding cell with far too many other boys of all ages.  Cramped, the stench inescapable.  In fact, for the first FORTY EIGHT HOURS, he was standing and awake as there was simply no space to lie down.  He finally began trying to sleep on a pile of garbage in the corner.  He was, like all these children, freezing.

"I had to stay almost two days like this, standing. I didn't sleep. And they didn't treat me well because I would ask for at least food or water or something to cover myself with and they would deny it."

Pause.  Put yourself in those conditions.  Actually, screw that.  Put YOUR CHILD in those conditions.  Heart hurting yet?  Anger rising at the thought of your precious cherub being treated thusly?

He was subjected to cruel taunts by guards, watched as they punched another 16 year old boy in the stomach.  This was always the response to innocent questions like "What time is it?" (He had no idea if it were day or night as the lights were always on.) and requests for food.

In the cell were smaller boys - 8, 9, 10 year olds - that the older boys took to protecting, caring for.  They let the smaller boys sleep on the floor, giving them the space, choosing to stand themselves.  When the little ones cried because of hunger, they would give them their food.

Angry yet?  Remember, we're playing make believe and the 8 year old covered in filth, freezing on a concrete floor, and relying on the generosity of older boys to stave off hunger IS YOUR CHILD.

Drinking water was available by cupping their filthy hands together under the faucet in their cell and using them as a cup. 

Makes you all warm inside to think about your little Chad or Brendon, hands covered in dirt, grime, excrement, weeks of filth and no soap, using their hands to try to stay hydrated, huh?  You'd be ok with that, right?

Let's get back to hunger.  A 17 year old boy?  An eating machine.  Abner and these children were fed minimally twice a day - roughly around 10am, then again around 5pm - that's it.  I don't give a shit how cool you think you are for jumping on the Intermittent Fasting Train in the burbs, these children are hungry.  Abner details that they decided to give their food to the smaller children because they figured they did not understand what was happening to them, and at least the older boys could handle the pangs better.

Boy, those MS-13 fellows are brutal, huh?  Caring for smaller kids, giving up some of the only food they see each 24 hours.

When he was finally processed on to Health and Human Services (a fucking joke of a title if ever there was one) - he was still detained, but able to kick a soccer ball around and make some friends.  Abner finally was reunited with his father in Chicago and is waiting to hear from his lawyer as to the next steps that will happen to him.  He would love to be granted asylum, but the emotional dye has been cast.  He is scared.  He will never forget what he endured.

Which is the case for all of these people being caged like animals.  They are treated worse than animals.  They are mocked, they are neglected, they are sexually assaulted, they are subjected to torture (sleep deprivation, hunger, dehydration, cruel treatment by guards) - all for the crime of trying to escape the realities of where they were born.  Realities we, as we meander the aisles of WalMart - carts and asses overflowing with Cheetos, Pepsi, Pop Tarts, buffalo wings, beer, ice cream, and privilege - will never begin to comprehend.

But I know, I know - there you go kneejerking the whole "Well, they shouldn't have brought their kids here" as defense for how they are being stolen by us and mistreated.

New flash, Bubba - being born here does not make us better.  It makes us lucky. That's it, that's all.  In terms of global horrors endured by countless people, this is called being born on third base.  I don't care if you live in a mansion or a single wide with a chemical toilet - you still have it better than these people.  They are trying to escape monstrous poverty.  They are trying to protect their daughters from being raped daily.  They are trying to protect their sons from being kidnapped and ending up in gangs and dead.  They are trying daily to escape the realities of dying.

In terms of immigration law and the varying views on it, it is fine to differ in how you think the borders should be handled.  We can debate all day whether crossing illegally should be more or less than the misdemeanor it is.  We can wax crapsodic till the cows come home about our divergent thoughts on the millions already here.  And those arguments are valid.  We should have those debates.  Because we don't have solid answers, plans, goals.

But what we should not differ on is how we treat those who come here.  And that is where the fork in the Humanity Road divides us.

There are those of us who see these conditions, read these stories, see the pictures of dead bodies in the Rio Grande, of children freezing and alone in cages - and our hearts physically hurt.  Calling us bleeding heart liberals is fine with us.  That means we see the humanity in people, we see ourselves in other people no matter their skin color, their accent, their country of origin.  Yes, my heart bleeds for all of these people.  I am proud to be a human being who knows they are no different than me; proud to be a human being who can easily envision my own children subjected to this treatment and know how it would feel;  proud to be a human being who is angrier than I have ever been to be represented by a government of fascists, bigots racists - all who are tickled at their power to treat other humans like garbage.

Then there are people like YOU.  If blood actually runs through your veins, it is cold indeed.  You are devoid of compassion.  You make sick jokes about the desperate and the dead.  You take joy in seeing cages of brown people, dirty, hungry, desperate.  You feel glee as these stories come out.  And you LOVE that your government reflects what is inside you - hate, greed, racism, sadism.

You profess to be followers of Jesus, but would cage him in a heartbeat were he to show up today.  And here's a thought.  You always preach about Him coming back, right?  You all seem to yearn for it.  What if He already has?  What if He is in one of those cages right now?  Hungry, hurting, filthy, demoralized? 

What's that?  Doesn't fit your narrative?

How convenient.

Whether He is here now or not, you are being judged.  Your cruelty, your complete disconnect from the Bible you hold so dear.  Your pathetic joy at "doing to the least of these" - hunger, fear, pain, discrimination, marginalization - yet you blow off the last part of "You did to me." 

Again, you can disagree with them coming here, but were you a true believer, a follower of the Word, a decent human being - you would be standing shoulder to shoulder with the rest of us - horrified at what is being done in your name.

Where is your humanity?

Rhetorical question, we all know you sold it for a cheap red hat and the chance to worship an orange outhouse who allows your black soul to shine.  Good luck with that. 

Because right now,  a scared 17 year old immigrant has shown more compassion, more decency, more kindness, more understanding of sacrificing and helping others than all of you rolled together.

Drag The Idiots

A little less than two years ago, we moved our transgender son out of Texas, a state that rivals Florida in terms of national, cringe worthy headlines.

His safety was and will always be of paramount importance to us, and it was simply not to be found in a place where bigotry and hate are worn as openly as the automatic weapons at a Sonic drive-in.

(And before anyone wets themselves in outrage, yes, there are a lot of decent, wonderful human beings there.  We knew many.  But we also knew A LOT of small minded bigots who had no compunction about being very vocal with their stupidity and views.)

Of course, our concerns were poo-poo'd by many -  "many" being comprised of people who will never walk the path we are on with our son.  People who are draped in the privilege of their cis-ness;  people for whom equality protections are not even a passing thought ... because THEY HAVE THEM.

While moving him to a far more progressive, open minded, accepting state has allowed all of us to sleep easier, no place is perfect, and we know that.  Ignorance, bigotry, racism, phobes of all ilk may be found in abunDUNCE everywhere in this country.  With ignorance leading the pack.

And sadly, those who love the warm, sweaty, fetid bosom of ignorance seem to think violence is the answer to their complete aversion to facts, education, and enlightenment. 

I will never understand why anyone thinks violent erasure is an acceptable answer, any answer, to what makes them uncomfortable.  Which bring me back to the very city in Texas we moved our son (and finally myself) from in 2017.

Leander, Texas is a typical burb about 25 miles north of downtown Austin.  Now, if you have to live somwhere in Texas, Austin is a blue oasis in the middle of a very blood red state (although we were very heartened by the Beto-Cruz slog).  Acceptance is a bit higher, and the Keep Austin Weird slogan is more than just a t-shirt decoration.  But venture to the burbs and you will find the expected closed minds, small minds, abundance of guns, and proliferation of hand me down ignorance and bigotry.

The Leander Public Library, located about two miles from my former residence, was set to host a Drag Queen Story Hour, an event that has been held at Book People in downtown Austin every quarter for the past two years.  Local drag king performer, Valeri Abrego-Liszewski, said of the children at past story hours, “They love seeing these performers come through with their big, gigantic dresses and their big, gigantic hair. The children feel like they’re seen a real queen coming through.” 

And let's be honest here - those children were brought to those events by parents with open minds and hearts who know there is nothing to fear, no indoctrination in letting their child hear a drag queen read them a story.  If anything it leads to the kind of dialogue that helps a child grow into a fully formed human being who understands differences are not synonymous with dangers.

The Leander library staff were on board, as emails between Abrego-Liszewski and them support.  They were asking which books to reserve and that even though they did not anticipate a large crowd they were “hoping to gain community support so we can make this a recurring event that gets larger every year.”

Of course once the event was announced, Facebook posts frothed forth like this gem from Leander 'great mind' Jay Ordway, “What’s vile is letting the liberals get their way, for instance it looks like we’ve got drag story hour for the kids at the Leander library already. That’s disgusting.”

Now, not all comments were like Jay's although many were.  Kate LeClair wrote, “There is a considerable (number) of LGBT tax-paying constituents/residents in Leander, not to mention our wonderful allies.  If I don't like an event at the library or sponsored by the city, guess what? I don't go. Anyone who is against this inclusive, educational, amazing event needs to realize that they have a choice in attending, and let those of us who would love some diversity in this town go and enjoy."

Which, quite frankly, is how most things work.  Don't like sushi?  Then don't take your ass to a sushi restaurant.  Don't like NASCAR?  Don't watch it or buy a ticket to a race.  Don't like drag queens?  Then don't watch Drag Race or attend an event at the library.  Pretty simple.  For people with critical thinking skills.  Sadly, far too many have critical thinking ills.

As the controversy heated up, Abrego-Liszewski received this email on May 23rd: “I'm so sorry to do this but because of the controversy the city has faced the city council of Leander has decided to cancel our drag queen story hour event. I appreciate your support and regret that this had to happen.”

Yes, that's right. The mouthbreathers shit their pants, flung their poo, made their threats, and got their way.

Another Einstein among us, Stella Williams, wrote, “Good to see children will not be indoctrinated with Leander tax payer dollars who are against this type(sic) of inappropriate acts.”

Threats, you ask?  Yes, threats.  The immediate fallback of the small minded is to threaten with violence that which they do not care to learn about.  Especially if it gives them the oogies.

Several were forwarded by concerned citizens to the Leander Police Department.  “…After I rope, hog tie and drag by horseback all those that show up at The Library for the Transgender presentation… Was supposed to be in Argentina shooting birds! Guess I need to be here. There is a crematorium close by. Short drag for my horse,” the poster wrote.  

'the Transgender presentation"

Which brings me back to the word IGNORANCE.  Drag is not synonymous with transgender.  Those who perform drag run the gamut from cis-het to gay to asexual to transgender.  Drag is a form of art.  An amazing form of art.  From the costumes to the make-up to the personas - it is acting on a grand and fabulous scale.  It takes skill, practice, and in many cases, performance abilities that rival Beyonce.

But by all means, let your little wetbrain lump everything together because larger thought makes your head hurt.

Responding to the cancellation and the death threats, Abrego-Liszewski said,  “It was a shame. This kind of invalidates anybody who is part of the LGBTQ community and has children and has family. What about them? They live there too.  I felt like I could break down barriers… that they could feel better about (themselves)… because I’m also a parent.” 

This.

This is what I always talk about - representation.  Seeing yourself, your family, your life in other places, in commercials, in politics, in movies.  We cis-het people take it for granted because we ALWAYS see ourselves reflected everywhere.  Beer commercials, rom-coms, print ads, you name it - our identity is constantly being reinforced. 

That is why it is such a huge deal when someone like Jared Polis was elected governor of Colorado.  Gay, has a life partner, and they have two children.  They are a wonderful family.  The night he won, my son wept, then jumped in his car to head to the celebration and be part of it, to feel seen.  Watching Pete Buttigieg, an openly gay, happily married, military veteran run for President is amazing.  It shows the world that stereotypes are bullshit.  It breaks down barriers.  It opens minds.  And it makes LGBT feel seen.  Seeing transgender people win elections last year - MASSIVE. 

Maybe not to you, but to the millions who inhabit the spectrum?  It matters.

Now, you would think that this story would just fade away, with the bigots patting themselves on their dimwitted backs, but no - a funny thing happened on the way to the cancellation.

A church stepped in.

Yes, a church.

The Open Cathedral Church (member of the United Church of Christ) has been in Leander for roughly three years, and has rented a conference space at the Leander Library on June 15th at 3pm to sponsor the Drag Queen Story Hour.  Spearheaded by Lead Minister Ryan Hart, he has said, “Our mission is open minds, hearts and faith. We want to create space for people to be able to be themselves.  In the message of the Good Samaritan, the Samaritan is an outsider to the people who would have been hearing the story. Jesus is saying we should love our neighbors, even when we feel they are different than us and that they’re outsiders… This fits with that message of creating space for people to be different and still be neighbors and loved in that space. I think that’s a message all of us always need to remember and be willing to hear.”

"We must never stop striving for safe spaces for our kids to be unique and loved no matter what," wrote the Open Cathedral Church on Facebook.

Hart will attend with his own children, as he had planned to attend the cancelled event.

Of course, it, too, will be protested and threatened by the ample bigiots (bigots + idiots) that run feral in Texas.  Tracy Shannon, a founder of MassResistance Texas (heavy on the ass) has stated her group will stage a protest at the library.  All Christiany and pro-family, as they are.  For the record, MassResistance is designated as an anti-gay hate group by the Southern Poverty Law Center.

It is sad and sickening to me that so many - not just in Texas - cannot/will not educate themselves about that which they fear/hate.  Because fear fills the trough at which hate gorges itself.  Remove fear and hate begins to crumble under the weight of reason and sanity and facts and understanding.  Being around a gay person will not indoctrinate your child.  They either are gay or they aren't.  Learning about transgender human beings will not turn your child into one.  I have three kids - all raised in the same house.  Two cis-het, one transgender - even after years of sharing drinking glasses, toilets, sleeping bags, and air.  And a library holding a Drag Queen Story Hour will not turn your child into one. 

What does happen by allowing your child to not only see different people, but understand them, is a safer, saner, more peaceful world moving forward.  And make no mistake, the world is moving that direction.  Even Texas.  As person after person sees that differences and danger are mutually exclusive, that equality and protections are deserved by everyone, that the constitution means ALL, not some - we are moving into a much more accepting, loving future.

So you can open your mind and walk with us, or get DRAGGED there.  You and your bigotry may put up a fight, but will you win?  As my favorite drag queen, Bianca Del Rio says... "Not today, Satan, not today."

Can I get a YAS, QUEEN?

The Humanity Famine In The Trump Era

Anyone remember this?

October 30, 2016.  The opportunist-in-chief, at a rally in the homestretch of his campaign, held up an LGBT flag.  It was a moment as disingenuous as it was gag inducing.

And anyone who bought into it was, is, and will always be a candidate for those selling bridges.

This entire adminasstration is laser focused on rolling back, repealing, and targeting those on the rainbow spectrum.  Their favorite being transgender people.

And let's get that out of the way right fucking now - THEY ARE PEOPLE.  Just like you, just like me.  And just like you and just like me they have something different about them that sets them apart from the herd.  Maybe your ass is fat; maybe your eyes don't work well;  maybe you just aren't too bright;  maybe one leg is shorter than the other;  maybe you've had cancer;  maybe you are dyslexic; maybe you have hemorrhoids; maybe you are <insert ANY of a billion things that make you different than the person standing next to you at Starbucks>.

And any one of those things that make YOU different could, at any time, cause the herd to turn on you, deny your humanity, want to erase you from existence.

Think not?  Then you are not paying attention.

As the mother of a transgender son, there is not a moment I do not worry about his safety in this world.  Even though we have reached a point in his transition where you wouldn't know if you didn't know, I still worry.  Because there are cretins like those who worship at the altar of the Tangerine Taint, and who feel empowered, emboldened to strike out at anyone they fear choose.

Just this week, two more transgender women were murdered in Dallas.  Five have been murdered this year.  The latest was Muhlaysia Booker, who survived a brutal assault last month, only to be found shot to death this past weekend. 

Booker's cousin, Quanjasmine Baccus, said she was often targeted for being transgender. "Everywhere we go she was picked, she was picked on because she is transgender."

And now she is dead.

Because insecure, ignorant, heinous savages view transgender people as somehow less than them, as monsters, as threats.

Wrong.  The monsters and threats are the ones who target them. 

And that includes this abomination of an administration.

Their latest attempt to deny the humanity of the transgender population is to roll back the Obama era protections for trans people, allowing homeless shelters to deny them entrance based on "religious" exemptions. 

Pardon me whilst I vomit.

I am beyond sick of bigots, racists, phobes of all ilk hiding behind the robes of their chosen deity in order to get away with their hatred and stupidity.  YOU may not be one, but you sit in churches next to them every week.  You listen to preachers bang their pulpits and speak in ways that are completely removed from the words and deeds of Jesus.  You work with them.  You live next to them.  Like roaches, they are everywhere.  And the darker Trump has made this nation, the more they scurry out to wreak havoc.

Your Jesus constantly spoke of helping others, the least among you.  Matthew 25:40 - Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye did it unto one of these my brethren, even these least, ye did it unto me.

YE DID IT UNTO ME.

He did not add an asterisk that led to the bottom of the page saying *unless they give you the oogies, or *unless you are too damned stupid to educate yourself or *unless their skin is brown or *unless they are not just like you.  And this move is as far away from his teachings as possible, yet conservative CRASStians will hug their Bibles and bleat AMEN.  Seriously, how do you square your actions with His teachings?  Teachings you profess to revere, follow, believe?

I swear, if there is an afterlife, how do you think you are getting in with this kind of shit on your Life Resume?

When asked for comment, DNC LGBTQ Media Director Lucas Acosta responded, “President Trump is putting trans lives at risk yet again.  Study after study has shown that LGBTQ people, especially transgender youth, have a higher chance of experiencing homelessness over the course of their lives. Additionally, 7 in 10 transgender individuals who stayed in a shelter last year were kicked out, physically or sexually assaulted, or faced another form of mistreatment because of their gender identity.”

Let that number sink in.  7 in 10 are kicked out, assaulted, or mistreated based solely on their gender identity.  How can ANY Christian be ok with this?

Ian Thompson of the ACLU adds, “When shelters are allowed to turn transgender people away — a policy that is sanctioned by a government that continues to push the lie that the mere existence of trans people threatens the privacy and safety of others — deadly violence against the trans community on the streets will rise.  For transgender people, particularly trans youth of color and Black trans women who experience homelessness at appallingly high rates, the crisis is especially dire, and has led to a devastating and largely unaddressed epidemic of violence and death.”

Again, as the very proud mother of a transgender HUMAN BEING, this is heartbreaking.  My son is not a threat to you or anyone else.  He simply wishes to exist in peace and safety, pursuing his passions, his education, his life.  I often think back to the moment he came out to me.  MY response was not bravery.  HE was the brave one.  HE was standing on an emotional cliff, not me.  I think back to it because all I felt in that moment, like in every other moment of his life, was love.  An overwhelming, all consuming, unconditional, air-I-breathe love for him.  And all I wanted to do was protect him, help him.

So no, my son never had to worry about finding a shelter to take him in.  But so, so, so many transgender youth do.  They know only fear, uncertainty, hunger, danger.  On top of everything they have to live with inside themselves - the dysphoria, the anxiety, the depression - they have the added component of danger.

And people wonder why the transgender suicide attempt rate is 41%.

That so many will cheer this change is embarrassing.  It is stomach churning.  That so many will walk into their churches this weekend filled with self righteousness, dripping in privilege they do not even know they have is hypocrisy at its height - or depth, in their case.  They will sing their hymns, chant their Psalms, nod their heads, and walk out reinforced in their belief they are better than others.

I have news for them - my son is better than every single one of them.  Every person who resides on the LGBTQIA spectrum is better than them.  Because they have to live in a world riddled with monsters who target them, demean them, hurt them. 

Because they have to try to survive in this humanity famine that is the Trump era.

And Jesus wept...

The Pot Calling The Cultle Black

I read the news piece at 4am yesterday morning while laying in bed contemplating the breakfast tacos I had to get up and make for the concession stand.  My reaction was such that all I wanted to make was a beeline to the computer to disgorge my feelings about it.

But with a full day of concession standing, then straight to Carson's game, then home exhausted, it had all day and night to stew in my brain.

It was still there this morning, the response as strong as it was 24 hours prior...

Rick Perry supporter, Robert Jeffress, pastor of the First Baptist Church of Dallas - one of those Goliath sized structures that cast shadows from so many streetcorners in Big D - appeared on CNN stating, "I think Mitt Romney's a good, moral man, but I think those of us who are born-again followers of Christ should always prefer a competent Christian to a competent non-Christian like Mitt Romney. So that's why I'm enthusiastic about Rick Perry."

He continued his drivel by adding that  the Southern Baptist Convention "has officially labeled Mormonism as a cult."   (Like Jehovah's Witnesses, Scientology, etc)

As you can imagine, that got a lot of attention.

For me it was because of the glaring hypocrisy of the statement.

A religious organization, by its very existence, is a CULT.

Webster's: noun: 1. formal religious veneration : worship 2: a system of religious beliefs and ritual; also : its body of adherents 3. great devotion to a person, idea, object, movement, or work (as a film or book); especially

Sure, it also lists as one definition: a religion regarded as unorthodox or spurious; also : its body of adherents - but just because we sanctimonious folks have appropriated it and gone with that very selective definition over the years, only applying it to the David Koreshes, Jim Joneses, Hare Krishnas, Heavens Gaters, and Charles Mansons of the world, doesn't change the fact that EVERY RELIGION IS A CULT.

It doesn't matter that your temple is bigger, your steeple taller, your stories older - if you belong to a church, ascribe to a set of religious tenets, and believe YOU are right and THEY are wrong - you, my friend, belong to a cult.

But, but, we don't brainwash our followers! you protest.

Um, yes, yes you do.

They are called children.  Carson got a first hand look at that brainwashing a couple weeks ago at rehearsal.  Many of the kids were off stage and religion came up.  One ideology bashed against the other, each teen dramatically, emphatically so sure of THEIR church's flight plan.

(Again, children come into this world as blank slates - so someone had to write upon them with this stuff.  Ask yourself, why do you so fervently believe what you believe?  YOU did not come out of the womb holding a Bible, Book of Mormon, Koran, set of Dead Sea Scrolls...)

Then they asked Carson what she believed.

Insert sound of pin hitting floor as they all got momentarily speechless.

She was happy to inform them she does not belong to a church.  That she doesn't sit in a pew to talk to God.  That she has not been raised to believe ONE thing.

What came forth was a torrent of "But"s, a cascade of fear, and a Niagra of confusion by her so systematically dismantleing their attempts to sway her, make her afraid, shake her foundation. 

She made it very clear that her parents have given her the gift of choice.  That she has not been raised to believe one thing.  She has permission to explore, read, ask, roll her eyes, explore some more.  That yes, she feels a greater power, but she has no more true idea of what that is than they do.  She chooses to be a good person, to do what good people do - treat one another with respect, consideration, kindness, courtesy.  Not stand in judgment because the sign outside their church says something different than the sign next door to it.

She ended it with her being completely fine with whatever they each believed in as long as they didn't try to shove it down her throat.

I do not like churches.  I do not like religious organizations.  Say what you will about yours, but in my opinion they all serve themselves, and they all separate people, they do NOT bring them together.

I was raised in Catholicism.  I also ran as fast as I could away from it when I was no longer under my parents' roof. 

My mind is way too open to belong to something that seeks to oppress me, tell me I am less than a man, dictate what I can and cannot do, think, feel.  I don't NEED religion to make me a good person.  I don't NEED some appointed church person telling me that God Hates Fags! so I'd better hate them, too.  I don't NEED someone banging on a pulpit to keep me afraid and in line with promises of Heaven or threats of Hell.

As I have said repeatedly in this blog - if a particular religion works for you, GREAT.  Enjoy it, wallow in it, roll around in it, bathe in its Holy Water.  Just don't bring it to my doorstep, don't bring it up in a conversation, don't post about it on my Facebook wall.  It is YOURS.  Keep it.

But back to the word:  CULT.

Just because David Koresh did not have a soaring monument in Salt Lake City, doesn't make him any different than the minister, priest, elder, clergyman/woman in your church.  His goal was the same: veneration, worship, control, and money. 

Just because other religions have roots that go back much further than Mormanism don't make them better, truer, more worthy.

And just because some people obviously like to be selective with their Dictionarys the way they are with their Bibles doesn't make the word CULT less applicable to their church and fellow parishioners.

Look around next Sunday when you're in your pew.  Just because you are surrounded by a lot of decently dressed people, listening to an expensive organ, passing a basket full of cash and envelopes, watching a show put on by people in fancy costumes doesn't make it NOT a cult.

It just makes it a really successful one.

Crucifying Trust

(Editor’s note:  This one goes long.  Pack a lunch.)

An off-putting thing happened to me a couple weeks back…

I was at a busy gas station, pumping fuel into my minivan for another long weekend of soccer taxi driving.  While standing there, enjoying the sunshine, organizing my thoughts for the games ahead, I noticed a white sedan about twenty yards away parked by the gas station fence.

In it, I saw two old people, a man and a woman, chatting. 

At most, I thought they must be reading a map or drinking some stellar service station coffee.

As quickly as I had considered them, however, my mind moved on to strikers, mid fielders, and defenders, and snacks for the strikers, mid fielders, and defenders.

Then, just as I had placed the nozzle back in its cradle and was getting into my car, I noticed the old man approaching.  I continued to get in my car and as I reached for the door, he stopped me from closing it.

OK, at this point, all I can say is that he is lucky he was an old man, nattily dressed in a sports coat and tweed cap.  Had he been even one liver spot younger than he was, my fight or flight response would have kicked in and he would still have the imprint of my door handle in his shriveled groin.

As it was, somewhere in my mind, I knew that if he was actually accosting me, I could snap his brittle ass in half.  I may be small, but so is dynamite – and you don’t mess with either.

He then proceeded to greet me with a smile, a how are you doing, what are doing today, all in a gee-I’m-a-harmless-old-coot manner.  I politely informed him I had a busy day ahead and needed to get moving.

It was at that point he thrust three pieces of literature into my hand, telling me that he was sure I had some questions about the world that could be answered by reading them.  I said thank you, took them, and quickly got into my car, watching him walk back to his old woman companion and their parked white sedan.

Yes.  I had just been Jehovah-jacked.

I find it disgusting when earnest young men, dressed in their white shirts, black ties, and backpacks come to my door to preach to me about the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.  Heck, I find it disgusting when little children ring my bell unaccompanied to sell me chocolate for their school fund raisers.

But at least I like chocolate.

But presuming to come to my house, and now to accost me in a gas station parking lot?  I have no patience for proselytizing, period.

Alliteration aside, these people do not know me.  They do not know how I believe, what I believe, if I believe. And their blanket presumption that whatever those answers are, I must be doing it all wrong and am in need of their saving? 

It’s beyond rude.

Yet, as unsettling as the old man encounter may have been, or how irritated I get when I see the young men on their bicycles canvassing my neighborhood, they do not hold a votive candle to the religious raping that occurred this past weekend.

We were ensconced in yet another two days of soccer play offs, in which only one of our daughters was participating.  Normally, our 14 year old would have been home, thus freeing the ten year old from being held captive on the sidelines of her 13 year old sister’s games, however, the built-in babysitter was away on a school field trip, meaning our youngest was faced with toughing it out – just her and her Nintendo DS – as she got dragged along for the weekend.

Lo and behold, the phone rang the night before and it was her soccer coach (her season has ended) offering to pick her up and let her spend the day with him and his daughter, a wonderful little girl on her team, instead of having to sit through a long Saturday of sister-soccer.

My husband and I (and of course, our 10 year old) truly appreciated the generosity of the gesture and arranged that he would pick her up from the fields the next morning after the first game was over.

Now, I freely admit, even being the over-the-top, will-go-out-of-my-way-for-anyone person that I am, I was frankly surprised at his willingness to come all the way to a different town to pick her up.

But, I let it go.

After the first game, he arrived with his kids to pick up our daughter.  We chatted about their plans for the day, which included mention of errands like a haircut for himself (fine), lunch (of course), and probably a movie (how fun!).  We kissed our daughter, and completely trusting she was in good hands, turned our backs and headed to the next game.

Later that afternoon, my cell rang and it was her coach, checking in.  Everything was fine, but there was a cool car show at Hooters that his 13 year old son wanted to check out, and he wanted permission to take her there for something to eat.  I joked that his son wanted to check out the “headlights”, not the cars, but that yes, a hamburger at Hooters was fine. 

I don’t like Hooters.  I think Hooters is ridiculous.  And even if there were a restaurant for women called Boners, I wouldn’t go.  Not because I am a prude, I simply think it is stupid.

But, I let it go.

That night, while tucking her into bed, we talked about what they did that day.  She talked about how short the shorts were on the Hooters waitresses (good girl!), but that the hamburger was good.  Then she said they went to some “church-like” place for a while and that she was uncomfortable there.  No mention of going to see the movie Happy Feet as we had discussed.

At that point the hairs stood up a bit on the back of my neck, but she was really tired and falling asleep.

We don’t go to church.

We have specific reasons for not going to church.

I wasn’t happy about that being included in her day, but, I let it go.

Well, as it turns out, there were more details forthcoming. 

While at the “church-like place”, Carson was plied with candy, raffle tickets to win a bike or scooter, and skits, which she admits seemed fun at the time. 

Then a “whole bunch of people” were sitting and listening to someone called Captain Kelly preach to them “really loudly”.  Then he asked for “everyone who has not let Jesus into your hearts yet” to come forward.  It was then that her coach told her to go to the front of the church with the other people who were moving forward.

To say my husband and I were sickened when she told us this, is an understatement of Biblical proportions.

To her credit, this child who has been taught that it is OK to tell an adult No when something makes her uncomfortable, refused him and stayed seated.

Asked what happened next, she went on to describe how all the people – kids, grown-ups, etc – who had gone forward, were TAKEN OUT OF THE ROOM.  (Yes, this man was not only encouraging her to join a group of strangers, but to leave his sight.)

The service moved on with her coach shoving a dollar into her hand to put in the offering basket, and then Captain Kelly repeatedly shouting that “if you do not go to church every Sunday, you will not go to the sacred place (heaven)”.

Forgive me a moment while I swallow another wad of bile threatening to hit my keyboard.

So, in summary, my ten year old child was emotionally raped by her soccer coach, told flat out that she has not let Jesus in her heart, and that since she does not attend church, she is going to Hell.

I believe in the Ten Commandments, but last night my husband and I were ready to throw “Thou shalt not kill” right out on its ass.

I cannot even begin to explain how violated we feel by this man.  He stood there, lying through his teeth about movies and fun, and then took our daughter to be “saved”.

And then to Hooters. 

Blatant hypocrisy fan that I am (gag), I love that he asked our permission to take her to Hooters, but not to take her to church.

Again, we are not a family that attends church.  We believe in God, we do not believe in religion.  It is very simple.  It is not a lack of faith in Jesus or God or even faith itself.  It is because religion does not bring people together - it separates them into clumps of people who are afraid of one another and who judge one another. 

Don’t believe me?  Turn on the news.  Heck, turn to your own heart and see just how you view someone who doesn't go to your brand of cathedral.

Rudy and I are raising our children to look at the world with open eyes and to accept people with open hearts, not to judge them or have the first question they ask be, "What church do you go to?" because it should not matter.  Our girls are friends with people based on how the other people behave.  The content of their heart, not how often they sit in a pew.

The funny part is that our 10 year old has a better understanding of, and connection to, God, than most people ever will.  She is loving, open, accepting, caring, self sacrificing - and to tell her she has never let Jesus in her heart is reprehensible.   To plant a seed that she is going to Hell?  It sickens me.

If church fits someone's lifestyle, or needs, or fills a void, that's fine.  I respect that.  We are teaching our children to respect that.  It’s an adult choice to go.  It’s a parent's choice to take their own children.  But to take someone else's child without their permission?  To proselytize to them?  To make them uncomfortable or risk their safety by encouraging them to leave a room with a bunch of strangers?

I'm sure in his mind, his heart was in the right place, but in ours, what he did was so far beyond the pale, we simply cannot allow her to go out with him and his daughter alone again.  The violation of our trust, the flat out lying to us about what they were doing that day makes it impossible for us to risk her safety, state of mind and heart, or, quite frankly, our time with him anymore.

The descriptions of candy, tickets to win a bike or scooter, etc - it's simply not what we want our children exposed to.  Bribing a child or tricking them into religion is not how they should come to God. 

A person's relationship with God is a one on one affair. 

No one else is responsible for my soul, my husband’s soul, or our daughters’ souls.  We don’t need saving.  And believe me, I don’t need someone coming to my home, or dragging my child to their church.  I live in the buckle of the Bible belt.  Churches are on more street corners than Starbucks down here.  If I want to go to church, I know where they are.

I believe that what scares people like her coach is this:  We are decent, loving, open, giving, generous, sacrificing people.  We have a 16 year happy, fulfilled marriage and three compassionate, caring children, we know peace – all the things churches teach you can only be yours if you attend every week and tithe 30% of your income.

But we don’t go to church.  So how can we possibly be all these things, have all these things?  I’m sure it doesn’t make sense to anyone who has been indoctrinated and screamed at weekly about going to Hell for nonattendance.

Our belief is simple.  We do not need a church around us to talk to God or feel his presence.  I don't view God as someone I need to make an appointment with each Sunday.  I talk to Him all the time.  That's the thing religion misses – the thing religion doesn’t want people to figure out.  God doesn't live in some big building with a cross on top, He is portable.  God is like an iPod, and you can listen to His “greatest hits” anytime because He lives in a person's heart.

I'm glad my daughter’s belief is stronger than her coach’s.  She knows that what Captain Kelly (ok, forgive me Father, for I am about to sin – what THE hell kind of stupid ass name is that anyway?) said is not true.  And not because of anything Rudy and I have taught her. 

Carson came into this world with an understanding of God and Heaven built in.  She could tell you stories about Heaven that would shame a minister. 

She has been there.  And she has no fear of where she's going, because she knows exactly where she came from.  And I guarantee you, this child who constantly gives every cent she has to charities, who champions every underdog child in her school, who cut all her hair off last summer so that a child with cancer might have a pretty wig to wear, is not going to Hell.  If anything, there’s going to be a ticker tape parade when she gets back to Heaven. 

I encourage every person of faith to enjoy your faith. Revel in it with people who are like-minded.  Find comfort in it.  Use it to justify what you need it to justify.  Just don’t force it on other people who think differently.

And don't ever make the mistake of stealing someone's child and exposing them to it without express permission. 

Because you have been warned.  That other parent will come down on you like the wrath of the very God you claim to worship.