Don't Get Me Started with Linda Sharp

Someone I Love Is Transgender

The graphic was sent to me this morning.  Simple, beautiful, and I posted it immediately.  On this Trans Day of Visibility, it is impossible to overstate how deep to me is the meaning in these few words.

Not because today is TDOV - a day when transgender and nonbinary people are highlighted in this world.  

Not because someone saw it and sent it to my inbox.  Make no mistake, friends who do these things and make their ally-ship so open are cherished.

Rather, it is the candor of the statement that catches my heart.  It is simple.  It is declarative.  And for me, it is a dare.  I dare anyone to come for me because of it.  I dare anyone to espouse their personal bile and bigotry, to spew their ignorance and oogies.  I dare anyone to tell me I am wrong. 

I am unashamed, I am unabashed.  I am the very vocal, proud and protective mother of a transgender human being.

He, like his siblings, is the air I breathe.  His existence is part of how I exist.  And his gender is simply one piece of a very complex young man.

Like all of us.  None of us are simply ONE THING.  We are physical attributes, personality traits, likes, dislikes, quirks, talents, hopes and dreams.  Yet because he is something not universally shared or understood, he is reduced to ONE THING.  He is mocked.  He is scorned.  He is threatened.  He is caricatured.  His very existence is suspect, his very existence, to some, should not even be.

Think about that for a moment.  As a parent, look at your child and imagine society wishing him/her/they harm, or worse, extinction, simply for being who they are.  I had zero control over being 5'2" with green eyes.  I just am.  He has zero control over being transgender.  He just is.  He did not set out to be.  He did not fall down some internet rabbit hole and become gender radicalized.  He did not choose a supremely difficult path through life out of boredom.

He transitioned to save his life.  To finally live his life.

Like so many decent parents of trans kids, I have often used the word "brave" in describing him.  The reality is, most transgender people dislike the adjective being applied to them.  Being your true, authentic self should not be an act of bravery.  Coming out and declaring who you are is an act of self love, of literal survival.  The bravery aspect exists because in doing so they must deal with a society that reviles them.

My child wakes up each day knowing how so many in this world view him.  He knows how many bills are currently winding their way through legislatures targeting him.  He knows that an act as simple as grocery shopping could get him hurt.  Yet he grocery shops anyway.  He is forced by society to be brave in order to simply exist.  He doesn't want to have to be brave.  He simply has no choice.

As his mother, there is not a day that goes by when I do not worry about him.  People often check in and ask me about that, assuming that since we are four+ years down the road that somehow the worst is behind us.  Hardly.  I look at the road we have walked with him thus far and while it has not been perfectly smooth, we have walked it together, walked it with love, walked it with support.  But the worst actually resides ahead of us.  Because we don't know what will happen.

Arkansas just made it possible for medical persons to deny services to members of the LGBTQIA based on the make believe choices of the provider.  Yes, make believe.  Whatever your chosen religion, and yes, YOU CHOOSE TO PARTICIPATE, you believe yours is right and others are wrong.  Yours is sacrosanct and others are bullshit.  The reality is they are all manmade opiates for the masses.  Which is fine until you start hiding behind yours to deny the humanity of others.

That is what laws like the one in Arkansas do.  They strip the humanity from people like my son, instead allowing doctors to paint them with whatever wrongheaded, lie laden, meme generated, Facebook group make believe suits them.  It allows bigotry to hide behind religion (although the two booty call regularly), and allows my son to be placed in jeopardy.  These bills also target trans youth - wanting to completely deny them gender affirming care like reversible puberty blockers and hormone therapy.  These bills, if passed, are literal death knells for a segment of society which already has a 41% suicide attempt rate.

Between bills and laws like this and the number of hospitals in this country that are affiliated with religions like Catholicism, my heart is forever held hostage by the "what ifs" - What if he is in an accident?  What if he needs emergency care?  That his life depends on who responds to the scene, who cuts his shirt off and sees his top surgery scars, who cuts his pants off and sees what they don't expect to see.  That his life could end because someone's personal biases, bigotry, hate, and ignorance take precedence over 'First do no harm'?

That is the worst.  That is what keeps me up at night,  That is what can leave me breathless if I think too much about it.

My son is not a threat to you, to your child, to their sports team.  My son played on a woman's college soccer team.  After he had come out to us.  Yes, we knew he was transgender and he went back to school and completed another season, another full year of school under the radar.  Presenting as a female did not make him less transgender.  And being a trans man did not suddenly make him more or less of a soccer player.

But it makes good press with which Republicans can scare their fact challenged constituency.  Like Target bathrooms were, sports are now the new frontier in trans panic.  And it is as pathetic as it is unfounded.  My son played with girls, some of whom were physically bigger than many of the players on the men's team.  Should they have been disqualified?  Of course not.  

My son is honestly not some big mystery.  He is not a ghoul, a fiend, a monster.  He is not a pedophile, nor is he a pervert.  He's a human being.  A pretty ordinary one.  And if you didn't know, you wouldn't know.  His voice is deep.  His face is whiskered.  His hair, like millions of other guys out there. 

Is that the part that scares you?  (You being the bigger you, not specifically YOU - I trust if you are reading this YOU are a decent person.)  That you might meet a transgender person and have no idea?  Or worse, GASP!, like them?!?!?  I promise you, no trans person is attempting a ruse with you.  Use the word 'passing' if you like, but the reality is they are simply just being themselves.  You know, like you.  And honestly, so what if you can tell?  So what if someone is early in their transition?  They, too, are simply being themselves.  They are not setting out to be a threat to you - the reality is that you are a far greater threat to them.

My son wants to be happy.  Pretty simple.  He wants to wake up, have friends, take care of his pets, do his classwork, draw commissions for his followers, watch the latest season of Hell's Kitchen, Facetime me to show me what his new kitten is up to, make a smoothie, go to Target, scroll Zillow, play Subnautica, plan for his future.  Nowhere on his personal To Do list will you find terrorize a public bathroom, threaten another human being, deny someone their humanity.

He just wants to go from sunup to sundown safely.  Again, like you.  And perhaps this is what bothers you, too.  He is far more like you than you care to acknowledge.  Because should you open your eyes to just how much you have in common, how ordinary is his life, how he doesn't want more than you, just the same as you - then you would be left with a bunch of bullshit that you have chosen to cling to instead of opening your eyes, your brain, your heart.

On this Transgender Day of Visibility, think about that.  Think about how you wish to be treated by society, by your employer, as you navigate this life.  Then take a moment and apply that to my son.  Let your hate, fear, and willful ignorance wash away and maybe, just maybe, you will begin to see the humanity in everyone.

Someone I love is transgender.  His name is Toby and he is my extraordinarily ordinary hero.

YAS NAS

Lil Nas X, the rapper who climbed over the mainstream country music hurdle with the help of Billy Ray Cyrus, has come out.  I rolled over in the middle of the night and saw I had a text from my son excitedly telling me and including the LGBT flag.

This is important.  It touches countless lives, young and old, in a very positive way.

And it's also a thing of beauty to sit here thinking of every bigoty, Christian conservative, minivan driving mom and dad who have happily been singing Old Town Road on repeat with their kids for months.

The song, Old Town Road, is a phenomenon - originally released independently in December 2018 in the Country genre category, it began charting quickly, and by March 2019 was simultaneously on the Billboard Hot 100, Hot Country Songs and Hot R&B/Hip-Hop Songs.

But then Billboard, in their infinite wisdumb, decided it wasn't country enough and dropped it from the category.  It was on its way to #1 on the Hot Country Songs list when that happened.

Enter Billy Rae Cyrus who collaborated with Lil Nas X on a remix released April 5th.  The remix most of us are familiar with - and it quickly hit #1 on the Billboard Hot 100.

It is maddeningly catchy and yes, decidedly COUNTRY.  It is also laden with the lyrical brilliance of rap, Lil Nas X referring it to country trap.  The song, both the original and the remix version have charted #1 in Australia, Canada, France, Germany, Ireland, the Netherlands, New Zealand, Norway, Switzerland, and the United Kingdom, hitting the Top 10 in many other international markets.

Here in the USA, it is wildly popular with kids.  There is a Kidz Bop version, and Lil Nas X surprised an elementary school and performed it, in a video that went viral showing hundreds of kids losing their collective minds and singing along.

We are all going to be ok pic.twitter.com/i1T9yJaN85

— tony pierce (@busblog) May 30, 2019

Yesterday, World Pride Day, and the last day of PRIDE month, he came out on Twitter.  And it is wonderful.  Yes, because he adds to the amazing and increasing reflection for LGBT kids and adults everywhere.  Representation is a huge thing - to see yourself in places you never saw yourself before - movies, music, commercials where so much headway is being made - it is glorious, it is affirming, it is life saving in many cases.  It reinforces the oft repeated message, "It gets better."

I can tell you it is true. I have seen it get better.

In his Tweet he acknowledges that may of his fans probably already knew, many did not, and that he would lose many, too.  He then asked people to listen to his song "c7osure" - these lyrics are especially heartening to me - a mom with a trans pan son:

This is what I gotta do / Can't be regrettin' when I'm old.

Watching our son finally live fully, breathe freely?  It is all we want for all of our kids - to not be regretting when they are old. 

Of course there is going to be fallout.  Conservative hair will be aflame as they delete the song from their Spotifys, vow to boycott all things Lil Nas X, even castigate Billy Ray for daring to hurt their achy breaky hearts by aligning with "one of them" - they are nothing if not pathetically predictable.  (See weekend uproar over gay penguins.)

But this morning, before they grab their pitchforks and start bitching?  I just have this to say:  YAS NAS.  The world is full of people who see you, appreciate you, and will continue to ride for you til they can't no more. 

This mom included.  Giddyup.

Groundbreaking PRIDE

Tomorrow marks the beginning of another PRIDE month - June being pivotal in that it commemorates the Stonewall riots of 1969.  There will be marches, displays, parties, shows of support, profile pictures changed to rainbow flags, and gifs aplenty going up on all manner of social media, not only by the LGBTQIA community, but by those who stand with them.

Being an ally is important, critical even, to any marginalized segment of society.  Without strong support from those who do not suffer under the weight of discrimination, derision, or danger - well, nothing much changes.  Women would not be voting, slavery would still be an active industry in this country, gay people would not be able to express their love and joy and marry one another, and on and on.

That is why being an ally means more than wearing a rainbow flag or changing your Facebook photo. 

To truly be an ally is, as I have written repeatedly, to step up, step in.  To call your representatives and staunchly state your position and support for equality, protections against discrimination; to stand beside someone being targeted, and then?  Stand in front of them.  Being an ally means putting yourself out there with them, not caring about the repercussions from bigoted friends or family or coworkers.  It means to personally take risk to effect change for someone else. 

Being an ally is not just an individual decision to be a decent human being.  You should be that anyway.  Companies, corporations also are able to plant their PRIDE flag and boldly proclaim their support, free market consequences be damned.  Target famously waded into the whole trans-people-in-bathrooms panic by publicly supporting the use of their restrooms based on the gender identity of the one using them.  Of course, there was the expected conservative hew and cry, threats to boycott and bankrupt them. 

And what happened?  Target thrives.  Because the bigots, the ignorant, and the pearl clutching religious right are far outnumbered by the decent, openhearted, open minded people who get it. 

We understand that there is nothing to fear in the bathrooms - quite frankly, the ones who are to be feared are the bigots.  Our trans son will avoid public bathrooms as much as possible because of the danger threatened by these reprobates.

We see with our hearts and know that what we feel is what they feel.  All the emotions of love, passion, commitment - those are not the sole domain of the hetero.  Two men or two women falling in love with one another is no different than me falling in love with my husband.  It is all-consuming; it is connection to another person; it is rational and nonsensical all at the same time.  And standing before family and friends and dedicating life, love, and forever is as important to them as it is to us.

We find no burden in honoring someone's pronouns.  Frankly, if we can remember someone's new married name, it is not quantum physics to remember someone's pronoun.  It is respect.

Just last night I received an email from Lyft stating they have added the ability in their app to add your pronouns.  So that your driver may understand and honor them.  It is a step that is in line with many other places and professions who recognize that the world is filled with far more identities than simply him and her.  I spoke about this with our daughter last night - she is actively pursuing her Master's in Public Health at Harvard, on the back of her current Bachelor's in Psychology, on her way to her doctorate.  She includes her pronouns in her email sign off, as do the majority of her colleagues.  When they are in meetings and introduce themselves, they include their pronouns.  It is not some snowflakey, safe space thing as so many small minded clods love to shout.  Again, the backbone at play here is RESPECT.

Respecting that the world does not revolve around your singular identity.  Respecting others enough to educate yourself and discover that these identities have existed for as long as people have existed.  Respecting that there is room for everyone - at the table, in the light, in the workplace.  Respecting that differences are not synonymous with dangers.

As PRIDE month gets underway, another company has stepped in with a beautiful, groundbreaking show of support, of recognition.  Gillette has released this ad.  Watch it and I will meet you on the other side.

I have watched the Gillette ad ten times now and my eyes fill over and over.  I know this yearning.  I have seen it in my son.  I know the words, "I just want to be happy."  My son has said them.  I know the feeling of "everyone around me is also transitioning."  I have written them about our journey with our child. 

And I know the wait for facial hair to begin to show up.  Toby has been on HRT for two years now, and while the changes have been steady, whiskers have been slow to show.  Until the past few months.  As they have come in, he has learned how to shave, to shape.  And to smile even bigger as his reflection in the mirror reflects the man he is inside.

It may seem like a small thing, something you take for granted because they just grow and you just shave.  We are all like that - cis people, that is.  We are comfortable in our bodies and what they do.  Our skin suit matches our soul stuffing.  That's a gift.  For a transgender person that is a goal. 

As PRIDE month begins, as you show your support as an ally, take time to reflect on the ease with which you navigate spaces as a cis-het person; open your eyes to how you see yourself reflected in media, movies, commercials daily.  The next time you mindlessly push open the door to public bathroom, stop for a second and think about how fraught that simple act is for so many.  The next morning you silently complain about putting on a bra, think about those who desperately wish they could, too.  The next time you stand shirtless on a beach, feeling the sun on your chest, think about those who hide their scars, or bind their chest down.  The next time you attend a wedding, observe love and remember that love is love is love is love.  Love is the most precious thing that can be found and shared between two people.

And then use your privilege, the knowledge you have of how easily you navigate the world, your own pride in being a decent human being, to step up, step in for them.

We all just want to be happy.

Drag The Idiots

A little less than two years ago, we moved our transgender son out of Texas, a state that rivals Florida in terms of national, cringe worthy headlines.

His safety was and will always be of paramount importance to us, and it was simply not to be found in a place where bigotry and hate are worn as openly as the automatic weapons at a Sonic drive-in.

(And before anyone wets themselves in outrage, yes, there are a lot of decent, wonderful human beings there.  We knew many.  But we also knew A LOT of small minded bigots who had no compunction about being very vocal with their stupidity and views.)

Of course, our concerns were poo-poo'd by many -  "many" being comprised of people who will never walk the path we are on with our son.  People who are draped in the privilege of their cis-ness;  people for whom equality protections are not even a passing thought ... because THEY HAVE THEM.

While moving him to a far more progressive, open minded, accepting state has allowed all of us to sleep easier, no place is perfect, and we know that.  Ignorance, bigotry, racism, phobes of all ilk may be found in abunDUNCE everywhere in this country.  With ignorance leading the pack.

And sadly, those who love the warm, sweaty, fetid bosom of ignorance seem to think violence is the answer to their complete aversion to facts, education, and enlightenment. 

I will never understand why anyone thinks violent erasure is an acceptable answer, any answer, to what makes them uncomfortable.  Which bring me back to the very city in Texas we moved our son (and finally myself) from in 2017.

Leander, Texas is a typical burb about 25 miles north of downtown Austin.  Now, if you have to live somwhere in Texas, Austin is a blue oasis in the middle of a very blood red state (although we were very heartened by the Beto-Cruz slog).  Acceptance is a bit higher, and the Keep Austin Weird slogan is more than just a t-shirt decoration.  But venture to the burbs and you will find the expected closed minds, small minds, abundance of guns, and proliferation of hand me down ignorance and bigotry.

The Leander Public Library, located about two miles from my former residence, was set to host a Drag Queen Story Hour, an event that has been held at Book People in downtown Austin every quarter for the past two years.  Local drag king performer, Valeri Abrego-Liszewski, said of the children at past story hours, “They love seeing these performers come through with their big, gigantic dresses and their big, gigantic hair. The children feel like they’re seen a real queen coming through.” 

And let's be honest here - those children were brought to those events by parents with open minds and hearts who know there is nothing to fear, no indoctrination in letting their child hear a drag queen read them a story.  If anything it leads to the kind of dialogue that helps a child grow into a fully formed human being who understands differences are not synonymous with dangers.

The Leander library staff were on board, as emails between Abrego-Liszewski and them support.  They were asking which books to reserve and that even though they did not anticipate a large crowd they were “hoping to gain community support so we can make this a recurring event that gets larger every year.”

Of course once the event was announced, Facebook posts frothed forth like this gem from Leander 'great mind' Jay Ordway, “What’s vile is letting the liberals get their way, for instance it looks like we’ve got drag story hour for the kids at the Leander library already. That’s disgusting.”

Now, not all comments were like Jay's although many were.  Kate LeClair wrote, “There is a considerable (number) of LGBT tax-paying constituents/residents in Leander, not to mention our wonderful allies.  If I don't like an event at the library or sponsored by the city, guess what? I don't go. Anyone who is against this inclusive, educational, amazing event needs to realize that they have a choice in attending, and let those of us who would love some diversity in this town go and enjoy."

Which, quite frankly, is how most things work.  Don't like sushi?  Then don't take your ass to a sushi restaurant.  Don't like NASCAR?  Don't watch it or buy a ticket to a race.  Don't like drag queens?  Then don't watch Drag Race or attend an event at the library.  Pretty simple.  For people with critical thinking skills.  Sadly, far too many have critical thinking ills.

As the controversy heated up, Abrego-Liszewski received this email on May 23rd: “I'm so sorry to do this but because of the controversy the city has faced the city council of Leander has decided to cancel our drag queen story hour event. I appreciate your support and regret that this had to happen.”

Yes, that's right. The mouthbreathers shit their pants, flung their poo, made their threats, and got their way.

Another Einstein among us, Stella Williams, wrote, “Good to see children will not be indoctrinated with Leander tax payer dollars who are against this type(sic) of inappropriate acts.”

Threats, you ask?  Yes, threats.  The immediate fallback of the small minded is to threaten with violence that which they do not care to learn about.  Especially if it gives them the oogies.

Several were forwarded by concerned citizens to the Leander Police Department.  “…After I rope, hog tie and drag by horseback all those that show up at The Library for the Transgender presentation… Was supposed to be in Argentina shooting birds! Guess I need to be here. There is a crematorium close by. Short drag for my horse,” the poster wrote.  

'the Transgender presentation"

Which brings me back to the word IGNORANCE.  Drag is not synonymous with transgender.  Those who perform drag run the gamut from cis-het to gay to asexual to transgender.  Drag is a form of art.  An amazing form of art.  From the costumes to the make-up to the personas - it is acting on a grand and fabulous scale.  It takes skill, practice, and in many cases, performance abilities that rival Beyonce.

But by all means, let your little wetbrain lump everything together because larger thought makes your head hurt.

Responding to the cancellation and the death threats, Abrego-Liszewski said,  “It was a shame. This kind of invalidates anybody who is part of the LGBTQ community and has children and has family. What about them? They live there too.  I felt like I could break down barriers… that they could feel better about (themselves)… because I’m also a parent.” 

This.

This is what I always talk about - representation.  Seeing yourself, your family, your life in other places, in commercials, in politics, in movies.  We cis-het people take it for granted because we ALWAYS see ourselves reflected everywhere.  Beer commercials, rom-coms, print ads, you name it - our identity is constantly being reinforced. 

That is why it is such a huge deal when someone like Jared Polis was elected governor of Colorado.  Gay, has a life partner, and they have two children.  They are a wonderful family.  The night he won, my son wept, then jumped in his car to head to the celebration and be part of it, to feel seen.  Watching Pete Buttigieg, an openly gay, happily married, military veteran run for President is amazing.  It shows the world that stereotypes are bullshit.  It breaks down barriers.  It opens minds.  And it makes LGBT feel seen.  Seeing transgender people win elections last year - MASSIVE. 

Maybe not to you, but to the millions who inhabit the spectrum?  It matters.

Now, you would think that this story would just fade away, with the bigots patting themselves on their dimwitted backs, but no - a funny thing happened on the way to the cancellation.

A church stepped in.

Yes, a church.

The Open Cathedral Church (member of the United Church of Christ) has been in Leander for roughly three years, and has rented a conference space at the Leander Library on June 15th at 3pm to sponsor the Drag Queen Story Hour.  Spearheaded by Lead Minister Ryan Hart, he has said, “Our mission is open minds, hearts and faith. We want to create space for people to be able to be themselves.  In the message of the Good Samaritan, the Samaritan is an outsider to the people who would have been hearing the story. Jesus is saying we should love our neighbors, even when we feel they are different than us and that they’re outsiders… This fits with that message of creating space for people to be different and still be neighbors and loved in that space. I think that’s a message all of us always need to remember and be willing to hear.”

"We must never stop striving for safe spaces for our kids to be unique and loved no matter what," wrote the Open Cathedral Church on Facebook.

Hart will attend with his own children, as he had planned to attend the cancelled event.

Of course, it, too, will be protested and threatened by the ample bigiots (bigots + idiots) that run feral in Texas.  Tracy Shannon, a founder of MassResistance Texas (heavy on the ass) has stated her group will stage a protest at the library.  All Christiany and pro-family, as they are.  For the record, MassResistance is designated as an anti-gay hate group by the Southern Poverty Law Center.

It is sad and sickening to me that so many - not just in Texas - cannot/will not educate themselves about that which they fear/hate.  Because fear fills the trough at which hate gorges itself.  Remove fear and hate begins to crumble under the weight of reason and sanity and facts and understanding.  Being around a gay person will not indoctrinate your child.  They either are gay or they aren't.  Learning about transgender human beings will not turn your child into one.  I have three kids - all raised in the same house.  Two cis-het, one transgender - even after years of sharing drinking glasses, toilets, sleeping bags, and air.  And a library holding a Drag Queen Story Hour will not turn your child into one. 

What does happen by allowing your child to not only see different people, but understand them, is a safer, saner, more peaceful world moving forward.  And make no mistake, the world is moving that direction.  Even Texas.  As person after person sees that differences and danger are mutually exclusive, that equality and protections are deserved by everyone, that the constitution means ALL, not some - we are moving into a much more accepting, loving future.

So you can open your mind and walk with us, or get DRAGGED there.  You and your bigotry may put up a fight, but will you win?  As my favorite drag queen, Bianca Del Rio says... "Not today, Satan, not today."

Can I get a YAS, QUEEN?

The Humanity Famine In The Trump Era

Anyone remember this?

October 30, 2016.  The opportunist-in-chief, at a rally in the homestretch of his campaign, held up an LGBT flag.  It was a moment as disingenuous as it was gag inducing.

And anyone who bought into it was, is, and will always be a candidate for those selling bridges.

This entire adminasstration is laser focused on rolling back, repealing, and targeting those on the rainbow spectrum.  Their favorite being transgender people.

And let's get that out of the way right fucking now - THEY ARE PEOPLE.  Just like you, just like me.  And just like you and just like me they have something different about them that sets them apart from the herd.  Maybe your ass is fat; maybe your eyes don't work well;  maybe you just aren't too bright;  maybe one leg is shorter than the other;  maybe you've had cancer;  maybe you are dyslexic; maybe you have hemorrhoids; maybe you are <insert ANY of a billion things that make you different than the person standing next to you at Starbucks>.

And any one of those things that make YOU different could, at any time, cause the herd to turn on you, deny your humanity, want to erase you from existence.

Think not?  Then you are not paying attention.

As the mother of a transgender son, there is not a moment I do not worry about his safety in this world.  Even though we have reached a point in his transition where you wouldn't know if you didn't know, I still worry.  Because there are cretins like those who worship at the altar of the Tangerine Taint, and who feel empowered, emboldened to strike out at anyone they fear choose.

Just this week, two more transgender women were murdered in Dallas.  Five have been murdered this year.  The latest was Muhlaysia Booker, who survived a brutal assault last month, only to be found shot to death this past weekend. 

Booker's cousin, Quanjasmine Baccus, said she was often targeted for being transgender. "Everywhere we go she was picked, she was picked on because she is transgender."

And now she is dead.

Because insecure, ignorant, heinous savages view transgender people as somehow less than them, as monsters, as threats.

Wrong.  The monsters and threats are the ones who target them. 

And that includes this abomination of an administration.

Their latest attempt to deny the humanity of the transgender population is to roll back the Obama era protections for trans people, allowing homeless shelters to deny them entrance based on "religious" exemptions. 

Pardon me whilst I vomit.

I am beyond sick of bigots, racists, phobes of all ilk hiding behind the robes of their chosen deity in order to get away with their hatred and stupidity.  YOU may not be one, but you sit in churches next to them every week.  You listen to preachers bang their pulpits and speak in ways that are completely removed from the words and deeds of Jesus.  You work with them.  You live next to them.  Like roaches, they are everywhere.  And the darker Trump has made this nation, the more they scurry out to wreak havoc.

Your Jesus constantly spoke of helping others, the least among you.  Matthew 25:40 - Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye did it unto one of these my brethren, even these least, ye did it unto me.

YE DID IT UNTO ME.

He did not add an asterisk that led to the bottom of the page saying *unless they give you the oogies, or *unless you are too damned stupid to educate yourself or *unless their skin is brown or *unless they are not just like you.  And this move is as far away from his teachings as possible, yet conservative CRASStians will hug their Bibles and bleat AMEN.  Seriously, how do you square your actions with His teachings?  Teachings you profess to revere, follow, believe?

I swear, if there is an afterlife, how do you think you are getting in with this kind of shit on your Life Resume?

When asked for comment, DNC LGBTQ Media Director Lucas Acosta responded, “President Trump is putting trans lives at risk yet again.  Study after study has shown that LGBTQ people, especially transgender youth, have a higher chance of experiencing homelessness over the course of their lives. Additionally, 7 in 10 transgender individuals who stayed in a shelter last year were kicked out, physically or sexually assaulted, or faced another form of mistreatment because of their gender identity.”

Let that number sink in.  7 in 10 are kicked out, assaulted, or mistreated based solely on their gender identity.  How can ANY Christian be ok with this?

Ian Thompson of the ACLU adds, “When shelters are allowed to turn transgender people away — a policy that is sanctioned by a government that continues to push the lie that the mere existence of trans people threatens the privacy and safety of others — deadly violence against the trans community on the streets will rise.  For transgender people, particularly trans youth of color and Black trans women who experience homelessness at appallingly high rates, the crisis is especially dire, and has led to a devastating and largely unaddressed epidemic of violence and death.”

Again, as the very proud mother of a transgender HUMAN BEING, this is heartbreaking.  My son is not a threat to you or anyone else.  He simply wishes to exist in peace and safety, pursuing his passions, his education, his life.  I often think back to the moment he came out to me.  MY response was not bravery.  HE was the brave one.  HE was standing on an emotional cliff, not me.  I think back to it because all I felt in that moment, like in every other moment of his life, was love.  An overwhelming, all consuming, unconditional, air-I-breathe love for him.  And all I wanted to do was protect him, help him.

So no, my son never had to worry about finding a shelter to take him in.  But so, so, so many transgender youth do.  They know only fear, uncertainty, hunger, danger.  On top of everything they have to live with inside themselves - the dysphoria, the anxiety, the depression - they have the added component of danger.

And people wonder why the transgender suicide attempt rate is 41%.

That so many will cheer this change is embarrassing.  It is stomach churning.  That so many will walk into their churches this weekend filled with self righteousness, dripping in privilege they do not even know they have is hypocrisy at its height - or depth, in their case.  They will sing their hymns, chant their Psalms, nod their heads, and walk out reinforced in their belief they are better than others.

I have news for them - my son is better than every single one of them.  Every person who resides on the LGBTQIA spectrum is better than them.  Because they have to live in a world riddled with monsters who target them, demean them, hurt them. 

Because they have to try to survive in this humanity famine that is the Trump era.

And Jesus wept...

THIS Is Not A Drill

Compassion.  Empathy.  Community.

We're human beings.  As such, those are three things that we organically do or seek out.  They are not difficult.  They do not require hours of study, angling, debate.

Yet we have corrupted them all.  Saving compassion, empathy, and community for those who are like us.  Segregating along myriad lines - color, religion, culture, orientation, politics.  Segregating based on ignorance and fear - both living in a vicious feeding cycle where one cannot survive without the other.

The result?  Distrust, hate, misunderstanding, NO understanding, vengeance, aggression, death.

As the very proud parent of a transgender son, I have written many times before of support being so important, critical even, in the continued forward motion of their lives.  I have seen it firsthand.  I have been in the trenches where the emotional warfare of fear, confusion, anger, uncertainty, and darkness battle.  And I have been there as each battle is faced head on with an army of love, of caring, of support - leading to another day, another win.

The battles,  not the war.

The war will rage on every time he steps outside, is in unfamiliar surroundings, debates taking someone into his confidence, reads yet another story of a transgender suicide or murder.

Because society is willfully ignorant, intentionally cruel.

Think not?

I present to you the great minds that run Stafford County Middle School in Virginia.

The school has one transgender student.  Scratch that.  The school has one transgender student that they know of.  Percentages and statistics being what they are, there are more - struggling, fearful, hiding, trying to figure it out in their minds.

Last week, during an Active Shooter Drill (what a lovely country we have created), while all the other students in the school were shuttled into bathrooms and locker rooms according to gender, she was made to wait on the bleachers in the gymnasium while the brain trust that runs that school debated where to put her.  They literally stood there debating her basic humanity and right to live.  She ended up being allowed to shelter in the hallway OUTSIDE the locker rooms, away from the other students.

Lest they catch the trans, I guess.

I cannot even begin to imagine the shame, embarrassment, isolation, and fear she felt.  And the message sent straight to her heart that she was not worthy of the same literal protections and right to life as the other students in her school.

Of course, as the incident has risen to the national news, like so much rancid cream, the Stafford School District issued a statement.  Spokesperson Sherrie Johnson stated, “We take such matters very seriously and they will be addressed. The welfare of all students is of the utmost importance for SCPS.”

Yet it's obviously not. 

The reality is we have created a country in which going to school and coming out alive could be placed in all the Sports Book lounges in Vegas.  As a parent, you just don't know.  As a student?  God love them.  They are beyond brave.  More than anyone, they know the odds, they feel the fear.  Daily.

So these drills are necessary.  Fire, tornado, bomb threats - they all have drills.  And now Active Shooter.  It is shameful.

But more shameful than that is the heinous disregard for the life of a child simply because the adults choose ignorance and cruelty over compassion, empathy, understanding.  

What they did goes right to the heart of the suicide rates among transgender youth.

Think not?  Try these latest stats on for size.  Just under half of all teens who identify as male vs the female listed on their birth certificates HAVE ATTEMPTED SUICIDE.  AT LEAST ONCE.  AT LEAST.  <---Get that part?  That means many have tried MANY times to escape a life their families or society simply will not let them live in peace. 

42% of youths who currently do not identify exclusively as male or female HAVE ATTEMPTED SUICIDE.  AT LEAST ONCE.

Trans youths who identify as female vs the male designation on their birth certificates?  30% HAVE ATTEMPTED SUICIDE.  AT LEAST ONCE.  And those youths who are simply in the battle questioning their gender and why everything feels wrong?  28% HAVE ATTEMPTED SUICIDE.  AT LEAST ONCE.

These numbers are real.  They represent real human beings.  Human beings who think, feel, breathe, bleed just like you.  

When my son came out to me and received nothing but love and support, that did not make these numbers vaporize.  Saying it out loud was only the very first step on a very long journey.  And those numbers stayed with us for a very long time.  Those numbers kept me company at night, refusing me sleep, peace, security.  And even though my child is doing remarkably well, is happy, forward thinking and forward moving - those numbers still hover in the back of my mind.

What those school officials is did to that child is drenched in their cowardice, their abject stupidity, their staggering soullessness.   

That trans child isn't out to peek on fellow students.  Is not hiding in bathrooms ready to molest unsuspecting peers.  That child is not a monster or pervert.  That child IS A CHILD.  A child who has bravely spoke her truth, and who is simply trying to live fully as who she knows she is.

Yet here we are, society shoving its intrusive Gladys Cravitz nose into someone's personal life, trying to tell her who they think she should be.  Hear me now - YOU DON'T GET TO MAKE THAT DETERMINATION.

And if the best you can do is open your venal maw and spout ignorance, hate, and condemnation?  Then shut the absolute fuck up.  The trans person is not the danger. YOU ARE.  The trans person is not trying to draw attention to themselves.  YOU ARE.  The trans person is not the danger in the bathroom.  YOU ARE.

YOU ARE THE SUICIDE ATTEMPT RATE.  

What happened to her will leave its mark forever.  Her life will forever be endangered by the bigots and small minds around her.

THIS is not a drill.