... MAGA.
Welcome to awards season! Some acting talents made us laugh, made us reach for the tissue box, even made us choke on our popcorn in laughter, but in the movie-turned-real-life world in which we find ourselves - that of Idiocracy - there are some truly standout performances. And while the Oscar typically goes to an individual, the acting of an ensemble in this heavy drama cannot be overlooked.
MAGAts, the Oscar for Performative Bullshit is all yours. Your tireless adherence to such a high caliber of method acting is Strasbergesque.
Now, some may call your performances hypocritical, but nay! Nay, I say. Hypocrisy exists in a selfish vacuum. It typically serves the person practicing it. No, what you endeavor each day is wider in scope, far reaching, dependent on the company of actors with which you associate. Performative Bullshit so cohesive, so well timed, so, so, chef's kiss - it simply must be recognized.
As your clearly naked emperor continues his onslaught from the Resolute Desk, let us highlight your performances, his actions, and your complete lack of concern, which also strips you bare and makes you deserving of your Oscar.
As I wrote about yesterday - religion - the rock on which your cult is built. You daily use your Bible as a beautiful prop against the changes in the world you cannot abide. You cherry pick the lines that become the script from which you bleat. You stand firm as you declare you are defending Christianity and society and babies and the world on behalf of God and Jesus. Your political lead actors (come on now, you know you are just extras, but hey, remember, there are no small parts...) compare themselves to Moses and deign to speak for God.
And then you turn around and attack a bishop who dared to simply speak the words of Jesus. Compassion, equity, protection, inclusion. You threaten the lives of every single person who simply disagrees with you. On anything. Coke or Pepsi? DIE, LIBTARD!
Performances for the ages.
Back The Blue, the Thin Blue Line you love to plaster on your vehicles - that line running through an American flag decal. Your thunderous reaction to the mere words Defund The Police. My God, you love them so. And those of us who may question the overt racism, bias, and violence that snakes throughout their ranks? Well, see Coke vs Pepsi response above. You are reverent in your tone when speaking about them. You donate to them. You protest when one of them is in legal jeopardy. You believe anything they say. Again, the love you show them is so beautiful, so pure, so performative.
Capital police officers were not only attacked on January 6th, some died. They were beaten with flagpoles, tasered, had their lives endangered as your horde swarmed like fire ants in the Texas sun. We watched it happen in real time. Hell, you people uploaded video, livestreamed, documented the day for us. And when it was all said and one, police lay grievously injured, traumatized, even dead.
Thanks to the copious amount of video documentation, one by one the aggressors were found, arrested, taken to court, found guilty of hurting your precious law enforcers, and sent to prison. Yet instead of seeing you rejoice in the rule of law meting out punishment on them (on you, you know you were there, Fred), your tragedy mask slipped and there it was for all to see. It had all just been a brilliant performance all along. You promised retribution to those who held attackers accountable. And when your flopsweat fuhrer pardoned 1,500 of them this week, you cheered.
You have also threatened the police officers who testified about that day. Who stood up for their fallen comrades. Their lives, police lives are now in danger at your hands.
Bravo! What a performance!
Drugs - my how you hate them, hate the purveyors, the dealers, the deaths. You desperately want them found, shut down, incarcerated. Drugs are a scourge! They are everywhere! Our kids are not safe! But then your drug addled Daddy completely pardons and releases one of the biggest in history who was serving not one but two life sentences.
Now, you could be forgiven for not knowing the words Silk Road - after all, this all went down over a decade ago, and well, we know you don't read, so let me help you out. Going by the name Dread Pirate Roberts (apologies to Princess Bride), Ross Ulbricht had created an entire subterranean drug empire on the dark web. Best legal estimates are that over $200 million in drugs were bought and sold via a system he created that protected users identities, locations. Bitcoin was the currency, which if you are paying any attention, insures you are nameless, faceless (see buyers of billions in $Trump and $Melania shitcoins <--- an actual crypto term, not mine).
Ulbricht also peddled stolen passports, hacking equipment, and solicited six unsuccessful murders-for-hire. Prison is exactly where he belonged and has been until this week when your own Best Actor in a Fascist Takeover pardoned him and let him out.
And nary a peep from any of you. Seriously, standing O for you all in this performance against illicit drugs and those who sell them. But then, he's not brown, so...
Child pornography - hell, I'll audition to be in your troupe on this one. You cry real tears over this. And you should. You demand action, justice, and you should. Child pornography (which is really child sexual abuse material), and those who create it and consume it, should find no harbor on this planet. They need rooted out, and frankly, I don't care what heinous punishment - up to and including having their genitals gnawed off by feral hogs - is meted out against them. Raping an innocent baby, toddler, teen - filming it and then selling it to the darkest souls on this planet - simply unforgiveable. The content creators, the users - UNFORGIVEABLE.
Unless, of course, your philandering fuckwad pardons one. Andrew Kyle Grigsby, who currently sits in a Kentucky prison for child porn, was one of those 1,500 who received pardons from Trump for his participation in being what authorities called "the tip of the spear" in the aggression against police on January 6. Just one of those poor, misunderstood, good people in your ranks Trump loves to talk about.
Your lack of outcry about him being included on that pardon list shows just what a brilliant performance you put on for the audience when it comes to child porn. But then, my guess is a lot of your computers would make the world vomit were they audited.
And your most MAGAnificient performance of all? Your patriotism. How you bleed red, white and blue. How you drape yourself, your vehicles, your homes, your boats, your guns in the American flag. Jesus, if Rambo fucked a bald eagle, you would be the baby. You love the Constitution. You love the flag. You profess to love everything this country was founded upon. Freedom of speech (if it's yours), the right to assemble (if it's you), freedom of religion (if it's your flavor), free and fair elections (as long as you win).
Yet where are you as these freedoms are being curtailed, threatened by your executive ordering oaf? As the literal Constitution was pulled down from the White House website? As rights and protections are being taken from children, parents, women, LGBTQIA citizens? (You are aware of the increasingly loud drumbeat in your own party to strip women of the right to vote?) You either stand for them for all, or, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA - sorry, could not even finish typing that. We know you only believe they extend to white, male, cis het, Christian, gun loving, trad wife having members of the cult.
But man, do you put on a good show.
There are so many more examples of your stellar acting ability, your synchronized line recitations, your total embrace and embodiment of your roles. But the Academy only has so much time and besides, the choice is crystal clear. For Best Performative Bullshit in a Rapidly Descending Country, the Oscar goes to: YOU.
Congratulations, you moronic, method acting halfwits. No speeches necessary. We hear enough from your slobbering pieholes every day.
Comments