Well, Thursday was quite a doozy in the world of MAGA news.
If you have no idea what I'm talking about, I am honestly stuck between asking you to do better and keep up more or congratulating you on not having to gore out your own eyeballs and pour bleach in the holes.
Seriously, A THURSDAY. Not known for huge breaking news, just a day between Hump Day and Friday when news dumps typically happen in the hopes that the story will fade by Monday. But there she was, Madame Thursday, in all her glory, telling every other day to GTFO of her way. She had shit to share. And all of it was courtesy of the MAGA toilet.
It makes me shudder to imagine Friday sitting there saying "Hold my beer" today...
Where to start?
How about with the revelation that Lindsey Graham is involved once again in election interference shit. This time, traveling to Nebraska to push Republicans to change the allocation of their electoral votes to 'winner takes all'. Why is that important? Well, as long as we are beholden to a system that is antiquated at best, and seriously corrupt at worst, it matters on the path to 270 votes needed to secure the White House. 48 states are currently winner-take-all. Nebraska and Maine currently allocate their electoral votes based on congressional districts. So while a candidate may win the lion's share of the popular vote in most districts, their opponent may take another thus allocating them a single electoral vote - for Harris that would likely come from Omaha.
Let's be frank here, we continue to be saddled with a system created over 200 years ago to address the fact that the south was largely populated with slaves who could not vote and/or insure smaller states still received love from the candidates. Outdated, outmoded, and always the topic of overhaul or eradication.
But here we are, with a MAGAt infested party again trying anything and everything to warp the results of the election and obliterate the will of the people. And Lindsey Graham, a man so completely shredded by a lust for power and whatever blackmail has hung over his head for years now, again stepping into the system in some 11th hour bid to change the game to benefit his orange overlord.
Paging Merrick Garland. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Who am I kidding...
So with that turd floating around the toilet bowl one would think that's pretty big news for a Thursday. But because of the continual onslaught yesterday, chances are you missed that one and instead heard this one...
Mark Robinson, Lt Governor of North Carolina now running for Governor, calls himself a "Black Nazi." (I know, I know, make it make sense...) It was only a few weeks back when revelations about his porn appetites were coming to light. Whatever. When you have a candidate for President who literally slept with a porn star while his wife was at home with their newborn child, merely liking porn does not even come close to being a dealbreaker.
Robinson, a firebrand and frankly a vile creature in the MAGA movement, was unapologetic and kept up his campaign in which he is on the record as calling LGBTQIA people "filth" and that women should not be allowed to vote. As far as his stance on abortion, he made his feelings well known in a Facebook post placing all blame on the woman for “killing the child because you weren’t responsible enough to keep your skirt down.”
Correct me if I'm wrong here, but one's skirt is usually lifted in the company of someone with a dick who has something to do with the ability to get pregnant. But hey, loose wimmin.
What came to light yesterday was a vetted CNN report that delved into the various accounts Robinson maintains on porn sites and the stories, comments, and preferences of his contained within.
Again, I stress, I DO NOT CARE if you love porn, what your particular kinks happen to be, or if you fuck your couch into oblivion, JD. You do you. We are all creatures with varying levels of sex drives. What I do care about is the stunning and repeated level of hypocrisy in the party that loves to tout its 'family values' bonafides. (Which, let's be frank, are nonexistent at this point.) How many times do we have to see the stats that the overwhelming number of porn viewers come from red states? How many preachers and youth pastors have to be arrested for raping children? How many police officers have to kill their abused spouses or extort sex from arrested women?
Mark Robinson - who calls himself a Black Nazi who would own slaves if he could - is just another standout in the rancid toilet of MAGAtry. Reading the excerpts of his sexual writings from those forums? Oy. Again, get your freak on, whatever, dude, but <insert vomiting emoji>. His sexual prose about his escapades with his wife's sister and their affinity for showering one another with all manner of bodily fluids? Oof. My mind went immediately to "I hope they have rubber sheets. And floors. And walls."
The biggest revelation is Robinson's personal favorite in the search category: transgender sex videos. This from a man who reviles transgender people at every opportunity. Who has called LGBTQIA people "maggots" and "flies". Who has stated that transgender people should "find a corner outside" to use as a bathroom. None of which is really shocking from an avowed anti-Semite who wishes slavery would come back (he of course would own them not be them), and advocated that conservatives should kill their opposition.
Trans porn exists. Just as there are videos for every other kink and preference under the sun. And as long as the videos contain consenting adults, have at it. Perform in it. Watch it. WHATEVER. Again, not the point.
This vile bag of hubris and hormones can flog his genital flab anyway he wishes. But the rest of it? He is not fit to be in the position in which he currently sits let alone be elevated to the Governorship. Last night saw the push for him to withdraw, and the expected pushback from him that he would not. Even with the clock ticking to midnight to get him off the ballot lest he get removed or drop out when it would be too late to erase him - he was defiant.
For his part, Trump videos are everywhere of him waxing crapsodic over this rancid rauchfest of a human being. "We have to cherish Mark Robinson. You have to cherish him. He’s like a fine wine. He's an outstanding person. I've gotten to know him so well."
The best? Comparing him to Martin Luther King. I'm not kidding.
Trump: Mark Robinson is Martin Luther King on steroids. He is better than Martin Luther King pic.twitter.com/GFPWV0zhXx
— Kamala HQ (@KamalaHQ) September 19, 2024
I'll pause while you imitate the vomit emoji.
Not shocking, I suppose, that pervs of a feather fuck together birds of a feather flock together, but I digress.
Midnight came and went. Robinson is still on the ticket. And the GOP is left knowing they must carry him to term the path to winning North Carolina just shrank more than Robinson's penis in the political Siberia in which he now finds himself. It is worth noting that this oppo did not come from the Dems. It came from inside the GOP. But none of it was news to them about who and how he is. He is Lt Governor. He had been vetted already, they just did not see anything wrong with his statements and peccadillos. He does, in fact, fit right in.
So, while Robinson's political meat was taking a beating last night, one could be forgiven for thinking, "Whoa, thank goodness this night is almost over." Yet there was Trump in all his anti-Semitic glory addressing a group of Jewish people and telling them they should "have their heads examined" for not voting for him. Doomsdaying full speed ahead that Israel will be "eradicated" without him. Pardon the pun, but OY.
Just as we were wishing nightfall and the end of the newsday - visions of Robinson swimming in his own juices in our tormented heads - along came the breaking news of new court filings with sealed affidavits showing that Congressman Matt Gaetz attended a sex and drug fueled party in 2017 with the 17 year old girl who has been at the center of his years long sex trafficking scandal. The girl in question was a junior in high school at the time, and Gaetz was 35. There are sworn depositions, phone records, and more.
Just another turd in the MAGAtoilet...
But wait! It wasn't midnight yet!
New York Magazine was forced to release a statement after another outlet, Status, reported it out, that one of their high profile reporters in this presidential race, Olivia Nuzzi, carried on an affair with RFK Jr. (I shall again pause while you swallow your bile.) Ms Nuzzi is notable for hit pieces on President Biden, fluff pieces on Trump, posting memes to her Twitter account about President Obama, and now, concealing an inappropriate relationship with a man whose cheating was so prolific during his first marriage that his then wife turned to alcohol, drugs and ultimately suicide; who is famed for dragging his children to the ocean to see a dead beached whale and then cutting its head off, tying it to the roof of his car, and drenching his kids in the subsequent juices that ran into the car as they careened down the highway; a man who made up a story about a dead bear cub he dumped in Central Park because he could not get it anywhere to eat it fast enough; a man who begged for attention from the Harris campaign, was told to fuck off, and then turned his attention to Trump who embraced him for the ignorant, anti-vaxxing, worm brained nightmare he is.
So, first to Olivia - really, girl? WTF? You sold your career for that man who looks like an old leather bag from your granny's attic? Who has no intelligence or merit. Whose only calling card is his family's name? JFC. Do you have a brainworm, too?
So Thursday finally hit midnight and closed out what was a ridiculously full news day on the disgustingly full MAGAtoilet.
46 more days. 46 more days of deception, subterfuge, vile stories coming out, Trump further unspooling, his minions continually being outed as the fecal matter with legs that they are, and a MAGA base that is the equivalent of shit worshipping the outhouse.
America, we flushed him once before. But as we all know, sometimes the toilet is so full it needs flushed twice. Just keep the plunger at the ready and watch your shoes. These turds will not go down without a fight.
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