Long Time, No Key(board)

Once upon a time, a woman with too much on her mind decided to open up a space on the internet to catch the random thoughts that traversed the scary synapses of her cranium.  Heated, hilarious, odd, political - all contained within the phrase 'Don't Get Me Started' - as anyone who knew the woman was quite familiar with her ability to rant nonstop when warming to a subject.

Through over 19 years - yes, that's correct, the first piece was March 23, 2005 about Terri Schiavo - the woman carved out a niche that seemed to attract like minded souls who needed a laugh, some food for thought, discourse, disgust, comedy, camaraderie.

Then American Idol entered the zeitgeist and things really took off.  The musings over contestant auditions she shared with friends via email morphed into full scale recaps twice a week.  What began as text only, soon evolved into Photoshopped extravaganzas that kept the women up into the wee hours so followers could wake up to a fresh recap of the previous night's viewing.  Word spread, more people came, laughs went up and out, and soon the woman saw a community slowly begin to build.

In between recaps, the topics she wrote on were varied.  Her family, her marriage, politicians, elections, fake legs being found in grills.  Along the way, real people coalesced into a family of sorts.  People shared their highs, lows, fears, foibles.  Real connections were made, real friendships developed.  Despite all the skepticism that still abounds about the internet, DGMS has always flown in the face of it all.  And that woman, THIS woman, has been, and is, eternally grateful. 

Welcome back, friends.

Yes, I know I have been missing again.  To those who have asked behind the scenes, I have given this answer:  I did not set out to step away.  It just kind of happened as I realized I needed a sabbatical from being angry every time I sat here.  As we closed out another incredible year of Yes, Virginia elfing, I took those warm, happy feelings and decided to build on them in my private life.  I have immersed myself in my granddaughter, my kids, my marriage, my mother-in-law.

But.

Yes, there is always a BUT.

BUT I never intended to stay away this long.  BUT I knew with each passing day that I missed the release writing provided me, the connection I felt with all of you.  BUT I did not know what would finally spur me to sit back down.

Yes, Rip Van Tinkle and his court case is easy keyboard fodder.  That tangerine twat will never not be there to type about.  Israel and Gaza and Hamas and Ukraine and Russia and Iran - all of it keeps me up at night.  The steady and relentless erosion of women's rights in this country is shameful and frightening.  And the upcoming election, which will determine what this nation will be for decades to come, keeps my stomach in a constant knot.

It's all been there in my mind.  But what really brought me back today was a question someone posed to me in the comments of a photo I posted on Facebook last week.  It made me realize a couple things.  

1. I really have closed ranks on my life and what I have been doing/where I have been.
2. Assumptions are easy to make in the absence of actual information.
3. While I don't owe anyone justification of what I do, I actually enjoy sharing.

The photo was simple.  Palm trees, the ocean, all viewed from the vantage point of a balcony at a Florida resort.

The question asked was fair.  It drilled down on the location vs the limits of "desires vs responsibilities", and if it bothered me to "spend your time and money in one of the most regressive and repressive states in the country?"

Again, given my political leanings and passion about what I believe and have openly shared, the query was more than fair and honestly appreciated.  I left the simple comment that, “This is where my husband currently works, so this is where we currently live.”

But it made me realize that after 19 years of sharing, a sudden lack of it meant that assumptions were easy to make. So here goes…

Yes, I now live in Florida. Having lived in Texas for over two decades in total, I can say that this state, politically, is basically that state with palm trees and alligators. Better view, same heinous mindsets, politicians, laws. I will add that living here, mere miles from Mar-a-lago, means that when I travel to see my granddaughter in Colorado, my eyeballs are routinely accosted by that cantaloupe cretin’s ego laden aircraft which sits both close to the interstate and to the taxiways. Ron DeSantis, that doughy-picked-last-for-dodgeball-everyday-in-middle-school-so-he-takes-it-out-on-everyone excuse for a Governor presides over this state in which a single retirement community – The Village Idiots The Villages – proudly hosts the highest rate of upside down pineapples, loofahs, and STDs in the land.  (Look up the references, just know you were warned.)

Would I rather still live in a blue mecca like Colorado? Of course I would. But my “desires vs my responsibilities” currently make that impossible. My desires would be that my husband would be managing a resort in the Maldives and that we live in a hut over the water. My desires would be that I could still see my granddaughter, my daughter, and my son multiple times a week. My desires would be that my husband would finally retire.

But then there’s those pesky responsibilities. Food, shelter, tuition, his mother, our bank account. And the great job with the great pay was not in the Maldives, not near our kids and grandkid, and until our responsibilities are fulfilled, he won’t be retiring.

So while that picture was easy to extrapolate into a “she’s choosing to vacation in a heinous state and support the most vile mindsets and people” assumption, it’s just not remotely accurate. We moved here a couple months ago. And while I hate the political climate, I am determined to add my blue vote to the pile, while enjoying the actual climate. I find peace in being able to turn my head while I am typing and see the palm trees swaying and the Intercoastal Waterway. I am grateful that my husband truly enjoys his resort, his coworkers, his owner. And I know how lucky I am – we are – to be able to help our daughter complete her doctorate, help our son get fully launched, and for me to be able to travel each month to indulge in the wonder of my only grandchild.

In addition to moving here, we have been able to move his mother to a beautiful facility near us instead of her being alone in North Carolina. That move facilitated her finally being able to meet her great grandchild last week. It makes it possible for her and I to do simple things like go to Target and Publix each week. For her to see her son regularly.

All beautiful things that take place in this backwards state. I learned living in Texas that it is possible for both things to exist at once. Texas is a place with so much diversity, yet so narrow in its chokehold mindsets. But there I met incredible people, had much love, laughter, adventures. And when the opportunity presented itself, I got the hell out. The same will be the case with Florida. This is not forever, but it is for now. And as such, I will make the best of it.  And the best of it will include going to the beach, on weekend trips down the keys, heading to Magic Kingdom and Epcot (because no, Disney is not filled with pedophiles wanting to diddle your children.  That would be the ever growing list of conservative preachers, politicians, and LEOs who continually get arrested for sex crimes against children.  But I wouldn't expect those who would readily buy gold sneakers and a bastardized Bible from the anti-Christ to know these things.)  The best will also include living so close to DGMSers like Debbie who is more family than friend, and finally getting to meet others like Kerry and Katy in person.)

But back to this space and my use of it. I spent time the last few days reading old posts, recaps, rants, and ridiculous stories I had written about. And I found myself laughing out loud. Which is what this space really has been about. Even when I write about the most serious of stories, I have always tried to weave in humor, dark though it may be. Because we need to laugh, now more than ever.

So, to that end, in the spirit of the ridiculous that has found its way to DGMS through the years, I leave you with this as my way of saying, I’m baaaacccckkkkkkk.  (Special thanks to Katy who started my day with this most wonderful of earworm tunes/cautionary tales.)

See ya real soon...

 

Comments

[Leigh in FL]

I live in the same city, and while it's the biggest city in the state, I even live on the same side of the river as Katy and have yet to meet her!

[Nikki in my]

I had been thinking of you and glad you are back. I still miss your take on Idol, tbh. If you have to be away from the Little Princess you may as well be in good weather and near a nice beach. It certainly isn't forever so enjoy what you can while you are there

[Jimmy Bag O'Doughnuts]

Now I'm going to have to read the story beneath every "Florida woman" headline I see to make sure it's not you. Don't worry, I still keep enough cash for bail, just in case. Old habits die hard. Glad to see all's well.

[Linda S]

Thank you, Robin!

[Robin in New Mexico]

I'm certain I'm not the first to say it, but WELCOME BACK!!! We have missed you!