There is much somber talk among the TV pundits about how this is a sad day for our country. It's not. This is what justice looks like, what accountability looks like. The only thing sad about it is that a decomposing gourd with a lifetime of criminal shitbaggery was ever allowed anywhere near the Oval Office. Updating this piece from June 9th was WAY too easy.
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Dearest MAGAts,
In light of the latest developments against your chosen cheddar deity, it's time again to have a talk.
I know, I know, these conversations make your heads hurt. There is a name for that, when factual information rubs up against what you so fervently cling to, daring to dislodge your mental bullshit - it's called cognitive dissonance. And for most people who value critical thinking, that feeling spurs us on to dig deeper, read, research, and gasp, dare to find out we may need to replace the wrong with the right.
That's the step that has always hamstrung your cult. And yes, you are in a cult. The group think, the blind devotion, the kneejerk response of "FAKE NEWS!" "WITCHHUNT!" and "HUNTER'S LAPTOP!" to any inference that your guy may have crossed a line - all hallmarks of you being a bunch of red chapeaued Squeaky Frommes and him being a less charismatic Charles Manson.
Right down the line you have defended him against some truly indefensible behaviors, actions, words. Things that had they been said or done by President Barack Obama would have had you rending your garments and screaming nonstop for his blood. (Well, you did that part anyway, but still...)
But this afternoon, as yet another set of indictments were handed down against your savior, four counts including Conspiracy to Defraud The United States of America, your screeching has gone up a whole other octave. Like riled up monkeys in a zoo, you are throwing all manner of shit against the cyber walls, trying to obfuscate, deny, and spin what the evidence clearly lays out.
Maybe, just maybe it's finally time to open your minds a tad, and allow room for the provably accurate thought that Donald Trump is more than just not a good guy. Donald Trump is a criminal who targeted this entire country with your gullible help.
Again, I know even seeing that typed out for you makes your head hurt, your blood pressure rise, and your bowels turn juicy. No one likes any of those sensations, but I dare you to power through, pop some Advil, breathe deep, risk ruining a pair of your DJT Fruit of the Loons, and read the damned indictment in full.
And before you start in with slurs against the Justice Department or accusations that President Biden is behind this - let's put that bullshit in the cow pasture where it belongs. The grand jury that brought this indictment was comprised of normal citizens some of whom were undoubtedly Trump voters. A grand jury that was presented with evidence so damning, so clear, that this is the result.
So stop with the Merrick Garland dodge, or the slurs against Jack Smith, the FBI, and anyone else who surely must have an axe to grind against your boy. Just read, read it all, and let it begin to sink in.
The 45 page indictment details how one person after another after another told him he had lost, that all his conspiracy baiting was nonsense, that it was fake - HE LOST. The VP, senior leaders of the Justice Department, the Director of National Intelligence, the Department of Homeland Security's Cybersecurity and Infrastructure Security Agency, Senior White House Attorneys - HIS ATTORNEYS, senior staffers on his re-election team, and the myriad state and federal courts who continually rejected the bullshit Trump and his cronies put before them. Again, all Trump confederates - are these power leeches just suddenly turncoats against your hero? Is that how you are going to spin it in your pained little noggins?
Still not buying that he could possibly be a bad guy up to no good and capable of trying to defraud this country you profess to love so much? Flip to page 41. The night of January 6th, after the Capital Building had been stormed, defecated in, ransacked, lives threatened, lives taken, police officers savagely beaten by Trump supporters, he was actively still reaching out to pro-Trump senators and representatives to slow the process down, to obstruct, to obfuscate. Yes, he IS that stupid, that craven, that desperate - and that aware that what he was doing was bigly wrong.
Now, I hear you starting to sputter about President Biden, or Hillary, or President Obama, or Hunter Biden's dick. Like Trump, throwing all manner of covfefe at the wall to make something stick - I know that whataboutism is your favorite sport. Here's the thing though, ye of the warmed brie consistency gray matter, while I welcome any investigation into actual wrongdoing, by anyone, they didn't do any of these things.
I know, I know. I'll wait while you take some more Advil. Maybe wash it down with some Bud Light. Just kidding! Wouldn't want you to catch the trans.
Ready to proceed? Good.
I know it stymies your dipshit discipleship that we would be ok with consequences for "our guys" should any actions be proved to be criminal in nature. That goes against your cult's marching orders. Allow me to explain the difference.
My identity is not Joe Biden. I don't buy hideous bedsheet sized flags with him tricked out like Rambo to fly on my front lawn. I don't emblazon his face on my clothing, attend his rallies with arrows drawn towards my cooch beseeching Trump to grab it, or plant a flagpole in the bed of my rolling coal pick up truck. I don't belong to Facebook groups dedicated to Joe Biden, or attend Biden boat regattas, and I actually go long periods of time without him being a thought in my head, let alone the only thought in my head. He is not my hero, my idol, my Christ. He's just a man who happens to be our current President. Yes, a man I voted for and will gladly do so again unless - and here's the important part, dear MAGAt - he is credibly accused of criminal activity and/or indicted, convicted.
This is where you and your brethren run into trouble. You have so deeply descended into your cult that there is no room to allow for being wrong, for the reality that you have thrown your lot in with a criminal, for the fact that you have mortgaged your home to cover it in Trump regalia. (Seriously, Trump as Rambo? Come on, guys, we all have eyes.) You have so consistently moved the goalposts for him that you can no longer even see the stadium.
Trump is what he has always been. A self confessed piece of shit, happy to brag about his many infidelities, his open molestation of countless women. A sleezy, Mob adjacent, Gotti wannabe. A guy with five children from three women - something you would find unforgiveable in anyone else. A grifting, money hungry, self aggrandizing narcissist who sees you only as what you are: CHUMPS. Easy marks. Open wallets and empty minds who believe anything he tells you.
The reality is he is just a man. A seriously imperfect one; one who has never had any use for church or religion until he realized it's a great way to get your vote; a philanderer who has likely funded many an abortion for women who are trapped under NDAs; an easy lay in terms of how he is viewed by other world leaders who know just how hungry he is for validation and praise and use it to manipulate him at will; a tool ( in every sense of the word) used by the GOP (which privately despises him) to keep your attention and your vote; and now a man who is drowning under a tsunami of evidence that he betrayed our national security.
Let the words Conspiracy to Defraud the United States of America sink in. Read the indictment and replace his name with Hillary or Barack. Then dare to ask yourself how you would be responding. You know damned well your torches would be lit and your pitchforks would be sharpened. You would have blown a vein in your heads. You would be demanding a head on a pike.
So take all that rage you know you would be feeling, all that righteous indignation, all that love of country you always bleat about, that 'patriot' notion you profess to embody, and use it to do something actually brave.
DARE TO BE WRONG.
It's not too late, MAGAts. Nobody likes being wrong. About anything. Especially about something that has become central to your very identity. But now is the time. If you actually care about the United States; about the rule of law; about the sanctity of each citizen's vote, about this country's path forward, maybe, just maybe, it's time to accept that you've been had, that your flags show open support for a traitor, and that Donald J Trump is not the second coming.
He is just a man. A really bad one.
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