Don't Get Me Started with Linda Sharp

One Month Till Sleigh Day, One More Light We May Keep Glowing

Time these past nine months has been an oddity.  Plunged into the COVID pandemic, March, itself, felt three months long.  I look back at a trip my husband and I took right before everything exploded, and it seems like it was YEARS ago.

We have all been mired in fear, panic, uncertainty.  Many of us have watched friends or family members contract the virus and live moment to moment, hoping against hope that their symptoms are slight, their recovery quick.  Far too many, however, have had unfathomable grief added to the gripping fear, as they lost loved ones to this invisible foe.  As of this afternoon, the friends and families of 267,924 people face this holiday season with an empty chair at the kitchen table, and a hole in their hearts that will never be filled.

The lyrics to the song One More Light by Linkin Park have not left my mind as each day I chart the numbers on a stack of printer paper that grows taller and taller.  I have done this since March 29.  Multiple times a day I refresh the official global COVID tracker and write down global deaths (1,425,006), US cases (13,104,637), US deaths (267,924), US cases per million (39,498), US deaths per million (808), and US tests per million (559,721).  At any moment I can flip back through the sheets covered front and back and see the snapshot of where we were on any given date, and how fast we have come to where we are now.  It is why I keep writing about this virus, about the need to be vigilant, about how many lives it has erased.

In the song, one of the verses goes:

The reminders pull the floor from your feet
In the kitchen, one more chair than you need oh
And you're angry, and you should be, it's not fair
Just 'cause you can't see it, doesn't mean it, isn't there

I approached this Yes, Virginia season mindful that need across this country is massive.  News stories appear daily with video and photos of miles long car lines waiting at food banks and distribution centers.  Unemployment because of COVID is still real and our government simply has not stepped up to assist in any meaningful way.  A single $1200 stimulus check was not even a drop of water in the flood of time this virus has been impacting industry after industry.  In fact, it was a spit in the eye of all the hurting people in this country.

I have also been mindful that the odds were someone would enter my inbox who is not only in need, or wanting to provide a toy for a child, but that they would be a survivor, facing this Christmas without a spouse or partner who succumbed.  Need compounded with loss, grief, anger, and despair.

I was right.  In addition to those your donations have already been helping - paying electric, water, gas bills, providing gas for cars to get to work, warm clothes in cold climes, and yes, happy toys like a play kitchen, Nerf fun, Legos, board games, Pillow Pets, dolls, etc - we are also bringing into our sleigh a family who lost a parent - she was a nurse who contracted this virus in helping so many others as an essential worker.  As with everyone we help, their privacy is protected, but the father is immensely grateful for this ray of hope and light we are helping provide him and their two children.

We have one month until Christmas morning.  As slow as time has dragged as we sit in isolation, missing travel adventures, going out with friends, etc, time will move quickly towards December 25th.  I have been finding wonderful deals (Gap and Old Navy are always great for clothing items as we end up with "Cash" to use towards more purchases in December), working coupon and promo codes into every purchase, and my inbox overflows hourly with all the companies whose emails I have signed up for through the years.  There are not many deals that escape my notice.

Your dollars are hard at work.  If you can donate, I promise you will be making a profound difference in someone's life.  (Paypal>Send Money>[email protected]) If you need assistance, or know someone in your world who does, please email me ([email protected] or [email protected]).  Again, privacy is always my biggest promise.

Now, take a moment to listen to One More Light by Linkin Park.  While this is not the official video, it captures loss in a way that any heart can imagine it and fear it.  I pray that no light in your life goes out as we continue this battle against our invisible foe.  Please stay safe this holiday weekend.

Linda

This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things ... Like Christmas

In life, there is an immutable truth when it comes to human beings:  No one likes being told they cannot do something.  It triggers something inside each of us, even the most docile, complacent, go-along-to-get-along of personalities.  We immediately feel constrained.  We begin to chafe at whatever the rule is.  We hear it as a challenge.  

While we like to pile on teenagers as the ultimate in don't-tell-me-what-to-do-itus - (my husband's favorite parenting advice:  If you want your daughter to bring home a guy on a motorcycle who smells like weed, just tell her she cannot, under any circumstances, bring home a skunky dude on a Kawasaki) - adults actually put teens to shame in this area.

Especially in the time of COVID.

Being asked to don a mask?  The hue and cry that continues from so many referring to it as "slavery", crying "my body, my choice!" and all manner of "fuck your plandemic" is shameful.  It's a piece of fabric.  You're not in a remake of The Man In The Iron Mask. 

The refusal to comply with health warnings, experts' cautions, to even apply a modicum of common sense to this situation is the reason we are where we are.  262,781 people dead.  Hundreds of thousands of new cases daily - in South Dakota, more people are testing positive than negative.  ICU beds filled to capacity.  The National Guard being deployed in El Paso to assist with the backlog of dead COVID patients.

With cases surging across the country, doctors, scientists, experts have all been begging the public to stay home, to not travel, to sacrifice Thanksgiving with relatives so that we do not see a huge uptick in cases two weeks from.  The result?  Crybabies and selfish assclowns that we are, airports were already filled with travelers this past weekend.  Interviews with "Mah freedumb!" MAGAts showcase the arrogance and mirtherism (they laugh at the mere thought of being prudent and cautious) at play.  Caution and warnings be damned.  They must share marshmallow topped yams and pumpkin pie with grandma.  Give me Libby or give me death!

Sadly, far too many will end up with both.

This defiance coupled with willful stupidity is why we can't have nice things.  Like Christmas.

We have watched from the beginning as wide swaths of people have refused to follow the guidelines.  Memorial Day weekend was our first glimpse at how little our leaders cared about our lives and how little we actually care about each other.  Governors threw open pools, water parks, restaurants, bars, and people swarmed like moths to the flame.  Two weeks later, that flame exploded and cases began to surge.  

All summer we watched as beaches overflowed with maskless sun worshippers.  Florida, proving that the epitome of Floriduh Man actually governs the state, opened amusement parks and people flocked.  Disney just announced they will begin allowing people to park hop once again.  Pay no attention to the facts that Florida is quickly closing in on one million cases and 18,000 deaths.  M-I-C-K-E-Y C-O-V-I-D!

Superspreader events like the motorcycle fiesta in Sturgis was great for local businesses, and a boon for viral spread across statelines.  Trump joined in with multiple rallies each day, leaving sickness and death in his wake.  

But it's not just the big ones that make the national news that are to blame for the surges and for why we cannot have nice things.

Take the sneak weddings that have been taking place.  The ones that violate restrictions on numbers of people allowed to gather, flout mask requirements of the facilities.  Helmed by brides and grooms who truly don't give shit one about anything but their own interests, these weddings have spread the virus and taken lives.  I have written about the Maine wedding in August that is now to blame for 180 cases and 7 deaths - those 7 people were not even at the wedding.  But even with that cautionary tale extensively covered in the media, it has not stopped more brats from walking down the aisle.

Anthony and Mikayla Bishop of Ohio simply would not postpone their Halloween, indoor wedding.  Their concession?  Cut the guest list to 85 and provide hand sanitizer and masks.   Go figure, few availed themselves of the precautions, as Mikayla noted when walking down the aisle and seeing everyone's faces.  The result?  Both she and Anthony came up positive - he with milder symptoms, she could not get off the couch.  Helluva honeymoon.  32 of their guests also contracted COVID, including their elderly grandparents who required ER visits.  Now they want to warn people.

"Weddings are definitely scary right now. I didn't think that almost half of our wedding guests were gonna get sick," Mikayla said. "You're in the moment. You're having fun. You don't think about COVID anymore."

Gee, little girl, if only some experts had been banging the drum for months... Idiot.  Oh, by the way, the grandparents?  They were the only ones who wore masks at the wedding and reception.

A November 7th wedding in Washington has been deemed a "high-magnitude super-spreader" event after 300 people - in clear violation of state ordinances prohibiting weddings larger than 30 - is now attributed with 40 positive cases and that number is expected to continue to grow exponentially among the attendees and the innocent people they have gone forth and infected back in their towns. (The cases literally doubled in two days.)  

Grant County public health authorities are dealing with coronavirus outbreaks at a long-term care facility and a school district with a direct link to wedding attendance or secondary cases resulting from contact with wedding participants. 

And it's not just regular people being selfish.  White House Chief of Staff Mark Meadows hosted his daughter's wedding in May in Atlanta. At the time, state and municipal guidelines limited gatherings to 10 people or less.  Well, eff that.  The rules don't apply to these people, right?  In photographs that were briefly online, the bridal party alone numbered 21 people.  Masks?  We don't need no stinkin' masks. Once word began to spread, the photos were yanked down, and Meadows has been unrepentant.

Look, my own daughter should be happily married right now.  But after postponing it twice, they have postponed it indefinitely.  The health of their loved ones taking huge precedent over their own desire to be feted and throw a party.  Like so many people missing their special days, I hurt for them, but am also proud of them.  They get it.

Far too many do not.  Far too many rely on arrogance and hubris and the repeatedly-proven-false notion that "nothing bad will happen".  

The White House is committed to its superspreader reputation.  Seriously, how many photos will we need to see of unmasked gatherings with the predictable fallout of positive cases within two weeks before they stop?  Rhetorical question.  It is not difficult to see them spreading COVID throughout the place right up to midnight January 20, 2021.  Biden and Harris will need to enter wearing hazmat suits.

Last week, the Kappa Delta sorority girls at University of Alabama were getting ready to host their yearly 600 person farm party bash, with the 4-2 blessing of the city council.  Their concessions to COVID?  Attendees would be parceled into groups of 200 and be bussed to the event site in shifts.  Alcohol would still flow, dancing and mingling would still be the goal, but students would wear masks.  Uh huh.  (Pause for eye roll and snort laugh.) 

Once word got out about this completely asinine event, the publicity was not the good kind.  It ended up being canceled and the 4 council people who voted for it began spinning faster than a Soul Cycle class. 

Councilor Phyllis Odom said she “deeply regret[ed] voting in favor of this party, which goes against everything I believe about the spread of the coronavirus.  It was careless and irresponsible, and I apologize to the citizens of Tuscaloosa. It clearly sends the wrong message our community.”

Ya think, Phyllis?

Again, why we cannot have nice things.  Like holidays and parties and weddings and school.

Just this past weekend, The Wharf in Fort Lauderdale, a massive bar, restaurant, party location reopened for business.  Crowds of maskless partiers dancing, drinking and hanging out with no social distancing filled photos that hit social media.  The owners of The Wharf swear they reconfigured, took precautions, etc before reopening after 8 months of closure.   They also said capacity would be limited and masks would be worn by guests when they were not drinking or eating.

Um, ok.

The Wharf was issued three citations over the course of Friday night and Saturday for not followings public health guidelines.

Dr. Ralph Levy, who lives nearby, walked by The Wharf around 9 p.m. Friday and watched the scene in disbelief. “As a doctor who has gone through this since March it was disheartening,” he said. “The place was packed, everybody was close together.”

And guess what?  After two days, The Wharf has closed again.  Go figure.

The examples are endless.  And we have no one to blame but our government and ourselves.  From the beginning we have had irresponsible, cavalier, deadly attitudes in the highest offices.  We have had inept, uneducated, blatantly careless moneygrubbers in charge of the response.  Zero responsible, coherent messaging to the country.  In terms of leading by example?  Well, Trump's example had been to not give two shits so millions in this country have followed suit.  And the result is over a quarter million people have died.

The complaints from regular citizens about Thanksgiving cautions have been ridiculous.  The whining, the tantrums, the attitude that without shared stuffing, there is no life worth living?  Laughable.  But we also have nightly talking heads riling up the unwashed mASSES, encouraging them to visit each other, gather, be festive.  Seantor Rand Paul, a fucking eye doctor, was publicly telling people who have had COVID to rip off their masks and go forth and have a great time because they are immune - NOT TRUE.  And Ted Cruz, whose own wife did not merit the type of defense being enjoyed by Thanksgiving (he is Canadian, by the way, making his histrionics that much more bullshit laden), posted this on his Twitter feed.

Seriously.  FFS, people.  This fixation on missing turkey with cousin Nell this year is just pathetic.  You don't even fucking like cousin Nell.  She's an asshole.  Like you.  And your contention that it might be the last year to share it with Grandpa Ed?  Well, you are sure setting it up to be a self fulfilling prophecy by exposing him to your aerosol delights.  It is estimated that 50 MILLION people will travel in the United States for Thanksgiving.  FIFTY MILLION.

We are mired in this pandemic.  We have made no headway, and are currently losing one person every minute in this country to COVID.  In fact, while I have been typing this, the stats have been updated again.  516 more people dead.  94,624 new cases since 10am this morning.

We are setting ourselves up for a very bad fall as we enter December.  Hospitals are already unable to accommodate the influx.  What happens in two weeks time when all the people on those airplanes who just HAVE to see each other, drag coronavirus back to their respective cities, businesses, friends?

You think wearing a mask is uncomfortable on your flight, at the store?  THIS is uncomfortable.  THIS will be many of you in two weeks.  ICUs are overflowing with people currently on ventilators, fighting for their lives.  Doctors describe patients with between 2 and 10 different IV drips going into them to try to keep them alive and fighting.  This is real.  And by Christmas, close to 50,000 of us will be dead.

Thanksgiving is nice.  Seeing our relatives, traveling, are things we are all missing.  But it is our own fault that our holiday season is playing out this way.  If we had paid attention, been smarter, cared about one another, and had a government that led with science, not with ego, with compassion, not cronyism, we would be in a much different place.

But we didn't.  We are selfish, short sighted, arrogant, petulant brats who cannot stand being told we can't do something.

And this is why we can't have nice things.  Like life.

 

 

Do You Even Know What's Going On Out There?

It's invisible.  It hides.  It seeps.  It waits.  It attacks.  You can be right beside it and never know, or be right beside it and be struck dead within weeks. 

Because of these traits, especially the invisible part, we have millions in this country who still refuse to believe coronavirus is real.  Facts and stats be damned, they cannot see it, so it cannot possibly be a thing.

I find that hilarious, in a very dark humor way.  These same people will beat you over the head with their chosen faith - something so very many have zero difficulty incorporating into their lives - that bone deep belief in something they can neither see, taste, smell, or hear - but they laugh at the thought of an equally invisible deadly virus.

None of you have ever seen Jesus, Buddha, Allah, Elohim, Krishna or any of the other 6,000 currently worshiped deities, yet you tout them in your online profiles, bring your favorite flavor to my doorstep uninvited, visit the local fan club weekly to sing songs, chant, commune, BELIEVE.  You are steadfast without substantiation.  You are committed without proof.  You are devoted without the tangible. 

So why, when you repeatedly prove daily that you are capable of believing in something you literally have zero proof of existing, do you resist so mightily the reality of the COVID virus that has now taken 258,654 of your countrymen and women and children?

Rhetorical question - in a country of over 330,000,000 people, 258,654 means most of us still live in blissful little bubbles where no one we love or know has succumbed.  Even with 12,093,903 people having had it since February or battling it anew currently, that is only 3.6% of our population. 

So in the absence of heart to heart transmission of grief and loss, ignorance is indeed bliss.  It is also deadly.

I have tried to use this space for months to convey the very real, and real-time, statistics of this virus.  I have endeavored to make it more visceral, more relatable, using stadiums, cities, etc to provide a visual of the enormity of the loss we have sustained.  I have railed, I have ranted, I have sworn, I have reasoned, I have begged.  But with COVID literally surging everywhere in this country, I am left to surmise that one very real question remains here:

Do you even know what is going on out there?    

A perfect example came to me this morning in an article in the Atlantic.  It details the herculean efforts of hospitals around this country as they have battled this virus for nearly nine months now.  It highlights the University of Nebraska Medical Center in Omaha - this country's pre-eminent facility for handling emerging infections.

Back when SARS was threatening us in 2003, they set to preparing themselves to handle the inevitable - a deadly viral outbreak like COVID-19.  Training, setting protocols, running drills, establishing the only federal quarantine unit in the country.  Diligently working to prepare, yet hoping against hope that their efforts would never be called into action.

Want to know what their facility now includes because of COVID, the virus you cannot see, don't believe in, and whine about forcing you to wear a mask when you grocery shop?

From the article:

In the past two weeks, the hospital had to convert an entire building into a COVID-19 tower, from the top down. It now has 10 COVID-19 units, each taking up an entire hospital floor. Three of the units provide intensive care to the very sickest people, several of whom die every day. One unit solely provides “comfort care” to COVID-19 patients who are certain to die. “We’ve never had to do anything like this,” Angela Hewlett, the infectious-disease specialist who directs the hospital’s COVID-19 team, told me. “We are on an absolutely catastrophic path.”

An entire building specifically for COVID, including floors where you go to die.  That is real.  

Across the country, convention centers have been converted into COVID care units because hospitals can no longer handle the  number of patients while still maintaining their need to be available for heart attacks, emergency surgeries, hell, a dog bite.  Dead bodies pile up in refrigerated semi trailers.  Prison inmates are being paid $2 per hour to transport bodies from the hospital to the trailers where they wait, wrapped up with hundreds of others, anonymous in their cocoons.  El Paso has released this job opening/description:

Any takers here?  Not exactly your dream job, huh?  More like a nightmare that some desperate souls will step up and do for us.  Will they be lifting your 100-400 pound corpse?  Don't think it cannot be you.

Currently our dead represent the complete wiping off the map of the population of Lubbock, Texas.  Or this entire highlighted area of the United States.

How are you ok with that?  How is this still so abstract that you refer to it as a hoax, a plandemic?  You believe Jesus walked on water, turned water into wine, multiplied fishes and loaves, rose from the dead, yet faced with 258,000+ dead people, that is just one step too far for your brain to go.

But back to UNMC...

As experts fill the Twitterverse, the news channels, the newspapers, imploring you to stay put, not travel, Zoom your Thanksgiving and Christmas and Kwanzaa and Hanukkah, and as you stomp your feet, cross your arms like a belligerent three year old, and fill your diaper over the mere thought of being asked to forego sharing in-person Stove Top stuffing this year - here are some things to chew on...

UNMC is fuller with COVID-19 patients—and patients, full stop—than it has ever been. “We’re watching a system breaking in front of us and we’re helpless to stop it,” says Kelly Cawcutt, an infectious-disease and critical-care physician.

Cawcutt knows what’s coming. Throughout the pandemic, hospitalizations have lagged behind cases by about 12 days. Over the past 12 days, the total number of confirmed cases in Nebraska has risen from 82,400 to 109,280. That rise represents a wave of patients that will slam into already beleaguered hospitals between now and Thanksgiving. “I don’t see how we avoid becoming overwhelmed,” says Dan Johnson, a critical-care doctor. People need to know that “the assumption we will always have a hospital bed for them is a false one.”

What makes this “nightmare” worse, he adds, “is that it was preventable.” 

Their statements are acutely about their own facility, but apply broadly to hospitals across this land.  Hospitals in every state are already straining under the increased COVID load.  If you think you will simply waltz into the ER should you become ill, think again.  I described exactly how that scenario played out back in March - a dear friend having to leave her seriously ill husband at the ER door, herself denied entrance to be with him, her sitting in her car helpless, frightened.  How he was dangerously ill, having difficulty breathing yet he was sent home TWICE to lay on the couch and wait to get far worse so she could take him back.

That is the reality we have once again brought upon ourselves by our selfish, arrogant actions.  The reality wrought by a president who chose pumping his own ego with super spreader rallies instead of protecting and beseeching the nation to stay the course, hell, even begin a course.  The reality forced upon us all by the bullshit "Liberate!" "anti-masker" "Q says masks are slavery" crowd.  The reality brought to death (not life) by the empty heads on FOX, OANN, and spread like warm butter throughout the conspirasphere  on Facebook, Parler, every rancid hidey hole of every disbelieving MAGAt.

Look, despite what your inner narrative strokers like Charlie Kirk, Laura Ingraham, Tucker Carlson and Diapered Donald want you to believe, we liberals do not hate the holidays.  We don't hate Thanksgiving, we don't hate Christmas.  We don't hate Arbor Day for god's sake.  We love ritual, and tradition, and cranberry sauce shaped like a can just as much as you do.  And we love to share it across the table, not across the miles, with our friends and family.  But apparently there is something we do hate that  you simply refuse to get on board with.

We hate the thought of losing one of those friends, one of those loved ones to this deadly, easily transmissible virus.  

My family will be celebrating Thanksgiving next week by Facetiming one another.  And it's ok.  No one's going to die from not carving a bird together.  We will be having a ZOOM Christmas morning.  And it's ok.

You know what, scratch that.  It's not "OK" but it is what we will do because this country is where it is with this pandemic.  I LOVE CHRISTMAS.  My kids are all adults, but on Christmas morning they are still my little kids, laughing, hugging, eagerly waiting their turn to open a gift.  I will miss that terribly this year.  So no, it's not OK, because you people and your tantrumps, your belligerence, your arrogance pushed us to this place where an estimated 421,000 will be dead before spring.

It's NOT ok, but it is what we will do because it is smart.  And I would rather forego these holidays with them in person that we are all alive to have a shot at them in 2021.

What makes this “nightmare” worse, is that it was preventable.” 

Let that sink in.  Take a moment and look beyond our borders to places where they buckled down, listened to the experts, masked up, distanced; where their governments actually supported the populace so people could stay home; where they beat the virus down.  There is still no vaccine available, no cure if you get COVID, but the simple actions other countries have taken have demonstrably shown just how shallow, ignorant, and selfish is our country.

We are where we are and there is no one to blame but ourselves.  

People are contracting COVID at an alarmingly fast rate.  Yesterday we set another record - 185,527 new cases.  Another 2,000 people died.  In Texas, a state with 29 million people, over 1 million cases have been reported.  That means 1 in every 29 people.  In North Dakota, over 2/3s of COVID tests are coming back positive.  THAT is what is going on out there.

Again, I get it.  In the absence of a heart stabbing loss to you personally; with no personal health scare of your own, no gasping for air, no intubation, you are loathe to believe in what you have not personally seen, experienced.

But when you enter your place of worship this weekend, mumbling the words you know by heart, gladly handing over cash in the offering plate, and praising a deity you have zero proof exists, ask yourself if your god would be cool with you playing so fast and loose with the greatest gift He/She/It has bestowed upon you:  YOUR LIFE.

Every god teaches lessons about community, charity, sacrifice, and the greater good.  All the things we need to acknowledge to fight this pandemic together.  It's time to fully understand what is taking place out there and see where the rubber meets the road in your ability to have faith, to believe.  If you can so readily believe in God, I promise you it is a lot easier to believe in COVID.  

The saying goes, "There are none so blind as those who will not see."  Echoed in Jeremiah 5:21 Hear now this, O foolish people, and without understanding; which have eyes, and see not; which have ears, and hear not.

You are capable of faith, of belief.  The proof of COVID everywhere.  You just have to finally open your eyes.

MAGAts, This Is Who You Are

For many years now I have written about the lack of distinction between a garden variety Trump supporter and the vile factions he has attracted.  That if you stand side by side at a rally with white supremacists and Nazis, cheering along with them, you are no better than they.  That you do not get to marinate in a sewer of racism, bigotry, misogyny, religious zealotry, and phobias of all ilk, yet somehow declare yourself clean.

It doesn't work that way.  You are the shit in which you swim.

At no point has your adoration been about economic anxiety.  We ALL have economic anxiety, yet we don't all clamor to prop up a literal bankrupt narcissist whose track record on ANYTHING is failure.  

It has never been about a difference in politics.  Hell, you don't even understand politics, much less care that he stands for absolutely nothing that would help your lot in life.

Your willingness to debase yourselves has not been about a viable cause you believe in with your heart and soul.  You are not about charity or godliness or even kindness.  You flocked because you have been given permission to openly hate, lash out, indulge your inner, venal id.

You love Trump because he talks like you, acts like you, hates like you, and is a professional victim about everything ... like you.  Nothing is ever his fault, just as nothing is ever your fault.  I know your personalities up close and personal, having two siblings with resumes the length of Charmin rolls (the multiroll roll variety) because <insert asshole boss, got screwed, did nothing wrong yet somehow got fired>.  Nothing in their miserable, minimal lives has ever been down to their own bad choices, bad behaviors, severely lacking personalities and practices.  Trump came along and let their fucked up freak flag fly.  

It is with your gleeful, ignorant support that 600 children are still kidnapped from their parents at the border.  Your mindless chanting emboldened your slovenly hero to attack Muslims, Hispanics, Black people, transgender people, the Affordable Care Act, DREAMers, and on and on.

Your adoration encouraged him to violate the Hatch Act, the emoluments clause, openly discuss national security matters in front of Mar-a-loser members. 

Your mouthbreathing servitude allowed him to foment such anger and hate that murders in the streets have been the result.  You own Aubrey Ahmed's murder.  You own the murders doled out by Kyle Rittenhouse.  You own the trash cops that gunned down Breonna Taylor in her own home.  You own the pathetic excuse for a cop that knelt on George Floyd's neck until he died in the street.  You own every bruise from rubber bullets, every labored gasp from tear gas unleashed with his orders and your approval. 

You are no better than the terrorists you love to point at overseas.  In fact, your disgusting truck parades look exactly like those you castigate in far flung countries.

And now, as new details have been released about the plot to kidnap Michigan Governor Gretchen Whitmer, they need shoved in your deadeyed faces because THIS is who you ARE.  These are your comrades, the 2nd amendment cosplayers you fap over, the gunned up pals you shouted "Liberate" with.

According to new officials filings against the 14 homegrown, America born and bred terrorists, not only was there the plan we all found out about in which Whitmer would be kidnapped and put on "trial."  Apparently there were also Plans B and C.

Pull up a chair and hear what your cult buddies had in store...

In Plan B, over 200 armed combatants would take over the capital building and all inside.  They would then stage a week long series of televised executions of government officials

Proud of your cronies?  Make you all warm inside?

Plan C was simpler, but then great thinking is not exactly the hallmark of the Trump coven.  In Plan C they would burn down the state house completely, leaving no survivors.

These plots, the deaths threats consistently being received by Democrat governors across the country, owe to the constant rhetoric and lies of Trump, and the constant ebullient joy you give him by cheering inanely.  YOU own this.

YOU ARE THIS.

This is the side you chose, the dangers you created, the "causes" you embrace.  This is the result of years of mental pablum fed to you by FOX, OANN, Breitbart, The Federalist, Red State, The Blaze, and the biggest loser of them all - Donald J. Trump.

We are lucky these plots were discovered, the criminal scum apprehended before they could put their murderous plans into action.  But what about the next mentally deficient band of merry LARPers who don't get caught?  Who are able to kidnap a governor, set ablaze a capital building, kill legislators and their families?  Make no mistake, out there in those rally crowds, standing next to you clapping like deranged seals, are the next round of terrorists.

Aided and abetted by Trump, by his henchmen, by YOU.

We all know by now that the truth is anathema to your way of thinking, way of life.  If it doesn't reinforce your inner narrative of victimhood, persecution, and Tom Clancy level subterfuge, then it is violently thrown off as FAKE NEWS.  If you didn't read it in a Q-drop, then it cannot possibly be real.  If Trump did not babble about it at the bully pulpit, then it didn't happen.  (News flash - windmill cancer=NOT REAL; 15 flush toilets=NOT A PROBLEM; enlarged prostate-like dribbling shower heads=BULLSHIT; War On Christmas=NEVER WAS A THING)

What is true would be things like these:  Trump lost the election.  By A LOT.  Trump is not religious.  He NEVER has been.  Trump is the stupidest man to ever sit in the Oval.  EVER.  And Trump has zero use for you outside staying in power and grifting your wallets.  See latest email you surely have in your inbox.

You sold your souls to an orange devil with scarecrow hair.  You turned your backs on decency, honesty, sanity to worship at the altar of a man who ruins everything he touches.  You stand forever stained, forever putrid - the stench of the Trump sewer all that you will have to show for your complete abdication of your own humanity.

I used to write and explore the question What Will It Take?  What would it take to get through to you?  What would it take to open your eyes?  For you to finally be so appalled by Trump's or your own behavior that you would snap out of it?  What would it take for you to beg to rejoin decent society?  I no longer ask that question.

You like who you are, who you stand with, the terror you bring about, the deaths you cause.  You are vile.  You are venal.  And when more people die from COVID (257,776 as of this afternoon - 2,667 since yesterday morning) or are endangered by radical, homemade terrorists, you are 100% accomplices.  

MAGAts, THIS is who you ARE.

We Didn't Start The Fire

Back in 1989 when Billy Joel sat down and cranked out We Didn't Start the Fire, it was a musical response to a conversation he had had with Julian Lennon and a friend.  The younger men lamented how much more difficult it was to be turning 21 in 1989 than it was in the 1950s.

The song speeds through the decades in between reminding the youth of the 80s that the "fire" had been going on forever, and that Joel's generation simply inherited people, places, and circumstances beyond their control as did the youngsters of the 80s.

It was a one-off history lesson that ended up being nominated for a Grammy, and it is still a song in regular play on 80s channels.

Fast forward to today and there is much that could be turned into an updated version for what has transpired between the first tune and 2020.  Both good and bad, as was laid out in the original.  

But the bad has been especially bad, with politics copulating with religion, cheating on religion to fool around with racism, and running around behind racism's back to booty call ignorance, misogyny, hate, and all manner of phobias for an orgy.

The result?  Our world is frantically running from a fire we may not have started, but one that we have too long sat idle and watched.  

We have watched as ill equipped men and women are elevated to positions of power they are neither smart enough to comprehend or interested enough to learn about.  We have sat by for decades, throwing away our right to vote, as self centered, egomaniacal, venal charlatans are swept in by factions who did go to the polls.  And we have taken the high road for far too long, believing that our virtue would sway our opponents only to be kicked in the sac each time.

So now we sit, ablaze, ruined, afraid to hope, afraid to move, afraid to breathe.  Literally.

The fire of Trumpism was set alight by misinformation pumped constantly to the public, interference by outside interests, and a glut of stupid, dimwitted, easily led dullards who put on a red hat and suddenly felt they were with the cool kids.

Sorry, MAGAts - you were, and remain, with the cruel kids.  There is nothing even remotely cool about your cultish worship of an onerous orange oaf, your complete belief that he is the only one telling you the truth, and your utter disdain for anyone or anything that causes the slightest cognitive dissonance in that cavern you call a skull.

What is burning through this land is now largely the responsibility of your flaxen haired fuhrer.  He may be the hero of your dreams, but he is the zero of our nightmares.  Because of his disregard for life beyond his own, we now stand in the midst of a towering inferno of virus.  As of this afternoon, 11,758,468 cases so far in the United States.  255,109 people have died as a result of his eschewing of science, fact, caution, common sense, and like a mother bird, regurgitating the idiot stew into your gaping maws.  Currently, 769 of every million have died of COVID.  

We are watching the virus surge across the country, decimating cities, states.  Fun fact for you: GLOBALLY, North and South Dakota are in the top THREE of COVID mortality rates, the Czech Republic sandwiched between the two.  18 of the top 50 COVID hot spots with the highest mortality worldwide are in the United States.

These are not stats of which to be proud.  That you still cry "Hoax!" is shameful.  That you listen to opportunists like Charlie Kirk, who yesterday told you that "liberals hate Thanksgiving" as a way of acquitting your selfish need to carve turkey with 20 of your closest relatives, would be hilarious if it did not have deadly implications.

By every metric, we are losing this fight against COVID-19.  And positive news regarding potential vaccines does not make it less deadly.  We are months and months away from a possible vaccine beginning to be distributed.  In the meantime, we are at the deadly whims of people like you who cannot be reasoned with, and Trump who cannot be found.

Not kidding.  As Rome burns with virus, Zero is fiddling somewhere in his coward's bunker, afraid to take questions from the press like, "When are you going to fucking face facts and concede to Joe Biden?"

That's right, in the fire of future lyrics, this period of imbecilic, fingers-in-the-ears, bratty, shitstained toddler behavior regarding the outcome of the election, you and your flaming yam will be highlighted.

He lost.  Get over it, snowflakes.  (Just quoting you from 2016.)

In 2016, he "won" by roughly 77,000 votes in pivotal states, bending the electoral college to his column.  While in hindsight, Hillary should have dug in, demanded recounts, overview, and investigations - she did not.  She called, conceded, and the transition of power process began to play out between the seasoned, intelligent, learned figures of the Obama administration and the Chucklefuck Gang of Trump University & Model School.

I see you in interviews droning on in disbelief.  "We had rallies!  Huge rallies!  We did boat parades and had flags and trucks and banners!  We never saw none of that for Biden."

You want to know why, Cletus McCousinphucker?  Because we don't cotton to looking like the abject losers and suckers (to use Trump's favorite terms) that you are.  There's a deadly, easily transmittable virus - so no, Biden did not hold rallies because we would not have come.  We don't festoon our vehicles with bedsheet sized flags that both scream of devotion to a day-glo deity and serious small D energy because you schoolyard bullies tend to vandalize cars with Biden paraphernalia. We don't hold boat parades because, quite frankly, seeing what complete fools you look like, we were content to sit back, laugh at you, and wait to vote.

Because in the end, that is all that matters.  Not obscuring your ridiculously tall baby truck with Trump love, or sinking your boat, or attending a rally where the object of your affection forgets all about you, goes wheels up, and leaves you out in the cold - literally.

(In case you haven't picked up on it yet, I have zero interest in affording you poor, misunderstood cultists "time to process your feelings", and I give not fuck one about "reaching out across the aisle to get to know you".  I know who you are.  You have shown your asses for over four years now and they are putrid, vile, attached to the dregs of society.)

WE VOTED.  And as the plan was all along - IN NUMBERS TOO BIG TO IGNORE OR FUCK WITH.  While you were buying more Fuck Your Feelings tshirts, we were registering voters.  While you were standing in the cold, unmasked, spreading COVID back and forth, we were warm at home, phone banking, text banking, organizing.

The result?  In PA alone, Biden currently leads Trump by over 80,000 votes.  That's a single state in which he exceeds Trump's entire margin of victory in 2016.  Yet what is transpiring?  For 15 days that pumpkin colored poltroon you hold as the epitome of manliness has hidden from the press.  He has golfed while thousands more have died.  He has stomped his feet, he has refused to accept the results, he has filed failed court case after failed court case (0-26 now), and he has refused to cooperate with the transition of power that should be into its second week.

And the fire burns on.

We have sucker fish like Lindsey Graham being found to have tried to exert pressure on the Secretary of State of Georgia to exclude perfectly legal ballots.  Yes, MAGAts, it happened.  There are even witnesses who were on the calls.

We see Trump appointees playing fast and loose with our national security in not signing the paper that will free up the transition funds and allow the process to begin in full.  Poor Emily Murphy of the GSA, now crying victim as the pressure takes its toll on her.  Listen up, Em, you are not a victim.  You are a toadie, a sycophant, a power drunk mean girl who will soon be out  of her job.  So as for your self inflicted mental stress?  Pound sand.  

Last night the fire continued outside Katie Hobbs - Arizona's Secretary of State's home as an organized blob of Trumpanzees screamed over and over, "We want an audit!" and "Katie come out and play, we are watching you."  Oh, and they had little kids with them, because that's how you family values folks roll.  She and her family have been on the receiving end of death threats for her simply doing her job in securing the voting process in Arizona.

You know what I want now?  I want an audit of the 2016 election.  Every ballot, every voting machine, every county, every state.  In fact, given this behavior, perhaps Hillary supporters should have encouraged her to hide and demand recounts and file court papers for weeks.  Who knows, right?

But we didn't.  Because we're grown ups.  And because we understand the game, as it were.  

You people understand nothing,  Not the politics at play.  Not the roles of government officials.  Not the Constitution or the Bill of Rights.  Not the processes, procedures, or precedents.  Not decency, normalcy, regard for tradition, norms, history, or actual laws.

All you understand is sticking it to people you deem lesser or to blame for your miserable lot in life.  Making those "liberal tears."  Well, just who in the Kentucky Fried Fuck has been crying for two weeks now?  YOU.  Refusing data, facts, outcomes, consequences.  Because this time your candidate's campaign of hatred, deceit, grift, and arrogance LOST.

On January 20th, like it or not, a new President will be sworn in.  Despite all of the attempts of the Coup Klutz Klan players like Giuliani, Barr, Jared, Ivanka, Cokehead Jr, Paste Eater Eric, Mark Meadows, and on and on.  Regardless of flaccid attempts to create a scandal - whatever happened to Burisma or Hunter's laptop?  Hmmm, I guess like red Starbucks cups and transgenders in bathrooms, you people only shit your pants when they ring Pavlov's bell.

We have just over two months in which we must continue to watch this group of arsonists light fire after fire on their way out, destroying as much as possible, raking in as much cash as they can get out of you.  Two months in which the holidays will see two factions - yours, galavanting and socializing because Fuck The Libs or some such tagline Sean Hannity feeds you; and ours, sad to be in our separate places, apart from our loved ones, but apart from our loved ones because WE LOVE THEM and do not need our new separate spaces to be one of us in our home and the other in a graveyard.

We are now averaging a million news cases every six days.  We are fast approaching 2,000 deaths a day in this country.  In El Paso, 4,300 people age 60+ tested positive between 11/1-15.  That is more than the combined totals from March-September, more than the entire month of October.  North and South Dakota currently have 500 people hospitalized for every million.  8 states have over 400 per million.  In North Dakota, 1 out of every 1,000 residents are dead from COVID.  One city in the Dakotas has an 88% positivity rate.  Illinois has had a 260% increase in deaths since October. 

This is not FAKE NEWS or a hoax.  These numbers represent real people.  Yet just this week a nurse from S. Dakota detailed how patients in her care, with plummeting oxygen rates, difficulty breathing, rapidly going downhill literally refuse to believe they have COVID, insisting it is lung cancer, the flu, calling it a hoax with their last breaths.  

A South Dakota ER nurse @JodiDoering says her Covid-19 patients often “don’t want to believe that Covid is real.”

“Their last dying words are, ‘This can’t be happening. It’s not real.’ And when they should be... Facetiming their families, they’re filled with anger and hatred.” pic.twitter.com/tgUgP6znAT

— New Day (@NewDay) November 16, 2020

Listen, we are about freedoms, as much as you like to scream we are not.  And if you could contract COVID and not spread it to innocent people, by all means, we would be encouraging you to lick the doorknobs, french kiss your grandma, cough in each other's mouth's.  Seriously, have a massive COVID orgy, roll around naked on those Trump flags, share every fluid you have with each other, and then crawl off and die.  You won't be missed.  You will be ridiculed, reviled, mocked for your ignorance, but you will not be missed.

Unfortunately, like real fire, this one does not discriminate either.  And you are already responsible for these massive surges in cases and deaths.  You are content to burn this country down because you cannot fathom sacrifice for others, and now because you did not get your way with the election.

Fine.  WE didn't start this fire, but we will stand together now and clear cut everything around you so we can get on with our country and our lives while you burn in your hatred and stupidity.

Sing it, Billy...

Birtherism, Muslim ban, Trump has got a MAGAt clan

FOX news, golf shoes, Kellyanne, FAKE NEWS

Bannon, Carlson, show of force, Always on the golf course

Mar-a-Lago, chocolate cake, testing how much they can take.

 

Cohen flipped, testified, Flynn indicted cause he lied

Pardon crooks, cook the books, steal, lie, no one looks

Emoluments are a joke, pay the porn star that he poked

Lock her up and build the wall, we can’t take his caterwaul 

 

COVID, no vaccine, eat hydroxychloroquine

Jared, more dead, Pence is nowhere to be seen

 

Inject some light and some bleach, masks are only worn by geeks

Trust the doctor with the scarf, Fauci makes the MAGAts barf

Surges happen everywhere, Trump he does not even care

Millions with not enough to eat, Lindsey sucking power teat.

We didn't start the fire...

 

 

 

 

One Deadly Statistic

This is short.  Not sweet, but short.  Out of all the statistics I try to relay here, PLEASE let this one sink in.

The United States is currently losing ONE AMERICAN EVERY MINUTE to COVID-19.

The crosshairs are ever moving and only care that you let down your guard for a moment. 

Wash your hands.  Wear your mask.  Only go out and around people when you need to.  And social distance as best you can.

Please do not claim your minute as the ONE.

We Are Our Real Enemy

Having charted the COVID numbers since the beginning of March, seeing the patterns, the surges, the dips, I have thought a lot about death.  The absolute tragic visual of filling stadium after stadium with our American dead.  Scrolling through our cities to find similar populations in an attempt to further illustrate the irrevocable damage being done by this virus.

I have screamed out loud, in my head, and through this keyboard trying to translate the science, the sanity, the precautions; railing at the capriciousness and idiocy of so many who ignore the warnings and have often paid the ultimate price.

Through it all, this quote has played in my head:

We all owe life a death.  Deep down, we all know this.  From the moment we are born we are working towards dying.  Simba, Circle of Life, etc. etc.  It's inevitable.  Our bodies are organic matter not meant to last for eternity.  The best we can do is care for them, nourish them, try our best to avoid danger, and enjoy the days we get, never knowing the quantity.

But what we have seen in the behavior of far too many since this pandemic took hold, is the capriciousness that has led to unnecessary death, where the person has wasted their life.  Owing to hubris, ignorance, belligerence - bodies have piled up because COVID simply does not care what you think of it.

Call it a hoax.  It laughs and kills you.

Call it hysteria.  Coronavirus laughs and kills you.

Call it a deep state-Q-level-plandemic-5G conspiracy.  It laughs harder and kills you. 

It is insidious, patient, and deadly.  And it knows that while it may be a foe, we are actually the real enemy.  We are doing far too much of its work for it.

From 9am yesterday to 9am this morning, we added 148,237 cases.  We lost over 1,500 lives.  We have jumped from 742 to 747 deaths per million.  We now average 32,536 positive cases per million.

These numbers are real.  They represent real people like you, like me.  People who laughed, loved, LIVED.  Sadly they also represent a large percentage of people who did not take this virus seriously, laughed it off as no worse than the flu, mocked mask wearing, went to rallies, parties, out and about.  They also listened to their Halloween hued hero who promised them "it's not really killing anyone anymore" and that we were "rounding the curve."

This is the only curve we are rounding.  This is the line for testing at Dodger Stadium yesterday.

This is the Trump administration's fault - they have all but given up on the citizenry of this country.  The Tangerine Toddler is in hiding because his feewings are hurted by losing the election, his minions are busy filing lawsuit after lawsuit to appease his tantrumps, each getting thrown out of court for lack of evidence (now 0 for 16), and the head of the Task Force (Pence) is on vacay in Florida.

They do not care about us.  Hell, they do not even care about themselves.  The fallout of Trump's unmasked election night superspreader party at the White House is that currently 8 people, from aides to Mark Meadows to Ben Carson to Corey Lewandowski have all come up positive. 

So when you have the leader of the nation flouting the precautions, of course you are going to have the 70 million who voted for him doing the same. 

Yes, we are all tired of this pandemic.  We are so over isolating, missing birthdays, postponing weddings, seeing sports, trips, and graduations canceled.  But we are also entering a very dark and dangerous period.  Our boredom with the virus combined with the upcoming holidays added to the current surges seen everywhere are the tragically perfect recipe for far more deaths.

We have over 60,000 people in hospitals across the country - all fighting for their lives, fighting for a spot on a ventilator.  In the past 8 days alone there has been a 30% increase in patients admitted to hospitals.  Morgues are overflowing into refrigerated trucks in parking lots, and we are running out of those.  All because we think we are untouchable.  Because we are selfish pricks.  Because we are our own worst enemy.

This is a map of the current state of COVID affairs.  This illustrates just how spread works.  The white dot is Sturgis - home of the ten day motorcycle shindig back in August - an event that routinely draws a half million people from far and wide.  The pictures that came from that period show crowds of unmasked, partying folk not giving one whit about COVID.

Now look again at the white dot.  The deeper the blue, the higher the concentration of COVID cases currently.  That is how a pandemic spreads.  In this case, it hopped on the back of thousands of Harleys and away it went back home with the ignorant riders.

But it wasn't just Sturgis that has helped facilitate the surges we are seeing.  Despite copious warnings, Trump had to get his narcissistic fix.  Everywhere he held a masturbation campaign rally, cases rose dramatically as did deaths.  Texas, where Lt. Governor Dan Patrick said of elderly people earlier this year that they would be happy to die for the economy, just surpassed 1 million cases.  In fact, El Paso currently has more people hospitalized than do most states.  ICU beds in Tulsa are full.  Iowa's hospitals are near capacity.  North Dakota's hospitals do not have enough doctors.  In Ravelli County, Montana, they have run out of hospital beds and TEACHERS due to the severity of their COVID outbreak.

The rest of us do not get off easy, however.  Ennui with this way of living is seeing more and more people taking chances in smaller settings, willing to be self indulgent.  Pandemic fatigue is finding people having game nights, dinners parties, carpooling - any manner of more intimate social settings - and the numbers of cases are rising accordingly.  

An article in today's Washington Post details how public health officials are tracking outbreaks to smaller social gatherings.  Again, understandable that we miss our friends, our kids (hell, I just traveled to see my son last week), socializing and laughing with them, but taking our friend's word for it that they feel fine, does not mean they are fine.  It does not mean YOU are fine.  Asymptomatic carriers “cause ongoing transmission, frequently infecting multiple people in a single gathering.”

Health officials are steeling themselves for what is sure to be a tidal wave in the aftermath of Thanksgiving get-togethers in two weeks.  In fact, many are warning that we should all begin getting used to the mindset of earlier this year when we had to lockdown; that we should be stocking up again on paper products, disinfectants, food, to limit our exposure and need to go out.

We are fucked.  It is that simple and that blunt right now.  Our government doesn't care, and because of our own behavior and poor choices, we have become the kind of country we typically pity.  In fact, Doctors Without Borders - you know, the ones who travel to far flung locales to help the poor, the hungry, the diseased, the suffering, the dying? - are now operating here in our country.

Let that sink in as you contemplate that Thanksgiving invite from Aunt Suzie, as you think ahead to a family reunion at Christmas.

And it's not simply the risk of death should you contract COVID.  The lasting effects are being discovered more and more each day.  Lung issues, heart weakness, blood clots, hair loss.  But also, this week a study revealed that 1 in 5 patients who recover from COVID are diagnosed with a psychiatric disorder within three months.  And if you already struggle with mental illness?  65% of those with a psychiatric diagnosis have been found to contract COVID.

There is much we have learned to help in this fight, to better equip the public, but there is so very much we still do not understand.  Why does one 80 year old contract it and live, but a healthy 5 year old gets it and dies?

The holidays are coming.  Shopping, tree lights, invitations, families, church.  And COVID in a pear tree.

Sacrifices must be made this year.  For once and for all, we must take this seriously, deadly seriously.  A new administration is coming - science will again be at the fore, humility in the Oval, and capacity to effect change throughout the cabinet.  In the meantime, we are on our own.

Since I began writing we have added 34,730 new cases.  We have lost 266 more lives.

Again, COVID may be a foe, but we cannot keep being our own worst enemy.  Life is far too short as it is.

Yes, Virginia, I'm Crying

Sitting here this morning elfing, listening to Sirius Holiday Traditions (back off, early Christmas music haters).  Given the strategic challenges for businesses everywhere this year because of COVID, Black Friday promotions and shopping began in earnest a couple weeks ago.  I have been taking full advantage.  If you have been hearing the muffled sounds of crying, it is likely your pennies begging for mercy.

It might also be the sounds coming from me.

Every year at this time, I am deeply touched, humbled, and reminded how very lucky I am as I read through the emails from people asking for our help.  For years I have been allowed access to people's worst nightmares, their very real fears, their self loathing for money problems they did not bring upon themselves, and their requests to have a human's most basic needs fulfilled.

Food.  Jesus, that one has been at the top of the Yes, Virginia wish list for far too many years now.  (An email I received from a mom details how she makes a single can of soup last three days for herself so the kids can eat regularly.)  This year, hunger is highlighted in practically every email I read.  Warmth.  Another basic need as we enter another winter.  I paid another gas bill just yesterday for a family up north.  Clothing for children.  I remember being excited about receiving clothing for Christmas, but I was a teenager and appearance was everything.  These requests are for coats, boots, tennis shoes, socks, sweaters, long underwear, blankets - WARMTH.

Regardless how much the economy is touted by the current administration, the reality is the majority of people in this country are not invested in the stock market, in 401Ks.  They are invested in the very real job of living from day to day, providing for their children.  Unemployment is still very real.  Zero additional stimulus means far too many people in this grand land of ours are living hand to mouth, going without so their children do not go to bed hungry.

I am pinching every penny we have received so far.  Spending long hours finding the absolute best deals, free shipping, discount codes.  But the elfing has miles to go before we even hit December. 

If you are able to help with a donation, know you are doing far more than buying a toy for a child.  You are buying security, warmth, lunch.  Yes, there will be toys - I firmly believe that children should not have to give up the magic of Santa and Christmas morning because of circumstances beyond their parents' control.  I have written so many times about Christmas being my most anticipated day of the year in my own childhood.  That joy, that excitement, that fleeting belief in something so unbelievably magical is precious.

Just know that this year, especially, parents like you and I are finding out that joy and excitement can still be theirs, and that "magic" is a four letter "word", spelled DGMS.

As always, the link is open on the left side of the page.  Paypal > Send Money > [email protected] > VOILA.

Please donate if you can, and continue to send people our way.  That includes YOU - if you need help this holiday season, email me.  I do not care if we have helped you in the past.  That will never preclude us helping you again.

We are all in this together, and our village of elves is amazing.

Now, someone hand me another Kleenex.

Love, Linda

Your Head Elf

 

The Unbearable Heaviness of Being ... Trapped Under Trump

Saturday was delicious.  Literally and figuratively.  Biden and Harris were declared winners and I had some seriously great frozen custard to celebrate.  My son and I danced in celebration, as did so many across this country, this planet.  And we rounded it out with a slice of cake we made together, complete with the perfect icing message: THANK GOD.

After four long years of waiting for election day, and four long days of waiting for any news network to stone up and call what was obvious, you could feel the weight lift.  What we all were feeling was almost alien, having been so long since it permeated our beings.  Joy, elation, a lift of our spirits, our souls momentarily set free. 

The unbearable lightness of being.  And it was delicious.

When Mila Kundera wrote the book of that title, it was a work in which the characters ponder existentialism of sorts.  How best to move through this life.  How seriously to take it all.  How much weight to give the serious stuff, how much lightness to give the beauty.

It is no stretch to say we have all been missing the lightness for four long years. What we would have paid to be able to experience joy as "unbearable."  Instead what we have endured is the unbearable heaviness, the unbearable darkness, of being trapped under the Trump pRESIDENCY.  Kundera wrote of the darkness:

If that does not sum of the inner workings of Donald Trump - thoughtless, visionless, without end, without borders - I do not know what does.  We all have dark thoughts, we're human, but creatures like Trump?  They are all darkness, all avarice, all intent-to-harm skulking around in everything they do, touch.

That heaviness, that darkness is not to abate any time soon.  They are intent on that. 

We are still mired deeply in a pandemic that is blazing through this country like so many wildfires of this past summer.  Current stats:

10,437,779 cases to date
244,654 citizens dead
738 out of every million Americans GONE
1,272,662 deaths globally, meaning we account for 20%  - I stress again, we have only 4% of the world's population. 

That last one is a shameful statistic.  Owning 1/5 of all deaths from COVID owes completely to the incompetence, negligence, and murderous intent of the Trump administration.  Peopled with cosplayers trying to pretend to be experts in virology, pandemic response, distribution - we are now adding over 100,000 cases daily - the past 24 hours we added 135,395.  And we lost another 1,000 people.

In El Paso, they now have 10 portable morgue trucks.  Last week they had four.  (Acela Trucking switched over to making refrigerated morgue trucks in April - they usually make fire and rescue trucks).  That is how fast people are dying.  I think of this often.  My heart would break to know a loved one was wrapped up like a side of beef and sitting in some semi truck in a parking lot.)  This is the result of the herd immunity strategy put forth by the latest Trump lackey in charge - RADIOLOGIST Scott Atlas.
For months we have been warned what herd immunity would translate as - hundreds of thousands into the millions of people dead.  We are well on our way.

This heaviness, this darkness of being has been with us since March.  At least it has been with those of us who have paid attention to the science, the warnings, the pleas to mask up, distance, isolate.  But because of the millions of people who prop up this banana Republican mess, caution has been laughed at, masks are for pussies, locking down was akin to slavery, and we are on track to lose another 17,000 people before we carve a turkey.

It is impossible to not feel weighed down, to flounder trying to find any lightness.  There are far too many Trump cultists, literal diehards, who are intent on dragging this pandemic out as long as possible to as many as possible.  Think not?  Here are some more stats:

US States with the highest % of COVID positive results in the past 7 days:

South Dakota - 54%
Iowa - 48.3%
Kansas - 41.3%
Idaho - 38.6%
Wyoming - 34.5%
Missouri - 21%
Alabama - 19.8%
Montana - 18.1%
Utah - 18%
North Dakota - 16.1%

Notice anything?  Those are solidly red states.  Now try these stats:

New Jersey - 5%
Maryland - 4.2%
California - 4.1%
Rhode Island - 3.9%
New Hampshire - 3.5%
Hawaii - 2.4%
Massachusetts - 2.2%
New York - 2.1%
Maine - 2%
Vermont - .6%

See anything?  Liberal leaning states - where science, education, critical thinking mean something - have taken this far more seriously, and it shows. 

But it matters not because we are all trapped under the weight of this virus.  Try as we might to be as careful as possible, always mask up, use wipes on the grocery carts, stay at a distance, only go out when necessary - we are surrounded by people who simply don't give a damn.  They are not intellectually equipped to understand the science and make no attempt to try.  They are not emotionally equipped to think about anyone beyond themselves and their own immediate gratification of cheering "Lock her up!" at a rally.  Rallies he insists he is still going to continue holding.

And so they go forth and infect and kill innocent people everywhere.

Add into this ongoing weight the fact that this playpen of shitting toddlers are intent on trying to upset the results of a free and fair election, and Saturday's lightness seems worlds away.  We are right back in the thick of dark, oppressive fear, unending stress and anxiety, and the unbearable uncertainty of will they succeed?

Watching them have court case after court case thrown out has been heartening.  They simply have no merit or evidence for a judge to even consider. But that is not stopping them from trying.  And now Elton John's evil twin, Bill Barr, has shoved his flaccid jowls into the fray.  It matters not that even Republican election officials in various states are on the record as verifying zero fraud or suspicious activity.  When you have primed an entire section of people to only believe what the prophet says, they are willing to follow him into hell - evidence or no, be damned.

Joe Biden won.  While votes are still being counted, he is ahead by well over 4 million in the popular vote.  In states in the spotlight, his lead continues as votes are tallied.  Pennsylvania - ahead by nearly 50,000 as of yesterday.  Michigan - ahead by almost 150,000.  Georgia - ahead by 13,000.  Arizona - ahead by nearly 15,000.  Nevada - ahead by over 36,000 votes.

When Trump declared victory in 2016, he won by less than 80,000 in key states, like those above.  Biden has far surpassed him.  >80,000 votes and Hillary conceded the following day.  No shitfits.  No demands for recounts.  No legal tantrumps.  In Pennsylvania alone where Trump only won by 44,292 votes, he trails Biden by more than 47,000 votes as ballots continue to be tabulated.  (As for those 77,719 who voted for Jo Jorgenson in PA?  Fuck all the way off.  You simply do not care anything but yourself and your self righteous posturing.)

HE LOST.  The popular (again) and the electoral. Think of him now as a lame duck a l'orange.

Yet here we are watching his supplicants refuse to begin the transition process with Biden.  He refuses to accept the facts, instead feeding his base a continual diet of bullshit, conspiracy, and lies.  And they are lapping it up.  Like pigs at the trough, their heads are buried, the sounds of their insatiable appetite for graft, power, and pain to others all that matters.

Just this morning, the White House budget office notified federal agencies to continue preparations for Trump's budget proposal in February.  And today, Secretary Pompeo said at a briefing, "There will be a smooth transition to a second Trump administration."

That is so untethered from reality, it is hard to know where to begin.  As a layperson, I can sit here and call bullshit all day long.  But what needs to happen is the media, on all levels, need to begin calling it bullshit.  Playing into it for ratings is simply allowing them to get further and further down the road of this dangerous game they are playing.  Biden needs to step to the mic today and call this out as well.

I fully appreciate his team's head down, all business, move-forward-towards-January-20th posture, I do.  They have real plans in place.  They have real experts and scientists ready to take on COVID immediately.  They are putting together the pieces to begin repairing so much of what has been damaged and destroyed.  But to allow the bullshit fraud narrative to be all the people hear means more delusions take hold, more machinations have time to work their way into the system.  We may laugh at their Four Seasons Landscaping, VEEP level incompetence, but the subterfuge is happening now.

I am paying attention to the legal experts, the Constitutional scholars, the ones who completely understand the workings between election and inauguration.  They are vocal about the coup being attempted, but also urge us to keep moving forward, as this bullshit will not win in the end.

I so hope they are right.  We need to get back to some lightness, some hope, some joy, some dancing.  I don't know how much longer we can hope in the darkness; how long we can endure the unbearable heaviness of being ... trapped under Donald J. Trump.  (Even Stormy Daniels had her limits.)

The End Of An Error

We did it.  After four years of insufferable hubris, ignorance, and continual abuse from the White House; after four years of nepotism-writ-large; after four years of Hatch Act violations and the emoluments clause proven to be moot; after four years of watching group after group be disparaged, demonized, targeted, and endangered; after four years of fighting back tears, fighting back anxiety, depression, outrage fatigue; after four years of holding our breath ... WE. DID. IT.

Yes, we had to wait four days to hear it called, but when it finally was, the exhalation finally happened.  Joe Biden Will Be The 46th President of the United States.

And the first intake of breath after those words was filled with pure joy, hope, elation.

Video after video is going up showing people across the country dancing and singing in the streets.  Horns honking, strangers hugging, tears flowing, smiles being shared from face to face.  But it's not simply in our country.  The world is celebrating, too.  The bells are ringing in Paris tonight.  Cathedrals throughout Europe have set theirs to ringing as well.  Alcohol is flowing in countries around the globe as they raise a toast to the GOOD people of this land who have fought an internal war and emerged victorious.

This past week I traveled to Denver to be with our son.  I had written about how election night 2016 had affected him.  Being the "T" on the LGBTQIA spectrum, his fear was palpable and valid.  My fears for him were the same.  This country had just elevated hatred, bigotry, misogyny, xenophobia, and racism to the highest office.  The worst impulses, the most baser instincts of the most retrograde elements of our society were being validated by the installation of Donald Trump.

His legions of MAGAts were immediately emboldened and began to lash out.  People died - many forget that already - but many died at the hands of his followers who felt free to visit their deadly ignorance on completely innocent people.  Shootings, stabbings, blood flowed.  Because their version of Jim Jones had given his wink and nod to them all.  

Minorities everywhere have been frightened and targeted for over four years now.  Acutely so.  Hispanics, immigrants, Black people, Muslims, DREAMers, LGBTQIA, Jews, the target has been ever moving, slowly covering more and more and more people with the crosshairs.

So with this election, I needed to be here with my son.  I came here so hoping we would be celebrating, but also knowing that if it went badly, I did not want him alone with the result.  It is enough that he knows his life is constantly in danger, his mere existence a political football, a cheap punchline.

So I came.  And so we waited.  Like the rest of the country, the world, we slept little this week.  Countless hours in the dark refreshing Twitter and news sites to see if any numbers had been updated.  Listening to the experts who kept pointing towards Biden, but the PTSD of 2016 being too strong to allow us to dare to hope they were right.

Last night, when the numbers kept climbing, despite networks being too cautious and cowardly to make the call - we felt exhausted and hopeful enough to give in to a single moment of celebration:  We both downed a shot of rum.  

This morning, we lather-rinse-repeated the cycle of the past four days:  Blather, REFRESH, repeat.  Over and over waiting for someone at some network to finally decide Pennsylvania was within the safety zone of percentages, out of the reach of a recount.

I saw it on Twitter and ran to his room.  He had just received a text from his downstairs neighbor.  We cheered, we hugged, we high fived.  We checked Twitter again- networks were falling, or calling, like dominoes.  One after another, even FOX, calling the election for Joe Biden and Kamala Harris.

I held him, with tears in my eyes, and then we danced.  Don't Stop Me Now by Queen, Party In The USA by Miley Cyrus, and of course, the internet #1 hit Fuck Donald Trump.

Now, neither of us is naive.  We know that even in this joy, things have the potential to get exponentially worse for a while.  That MAGAty base, they of the FUCK YOUR FEELINGS tshirts and "We won, get over it" mantras of the past four years, are angry.  DUMBfounded.  How, HOW could their emperor be nude?  The truth will probably never dawn on him - that he was naked all along.  Trump and his steadfast minions have busily been sowing the seeds of disbelief, fraud, rigging, etc.  And with each lawsuit, he has been getting thrown out of court.

There was no rigging.  There was no fraud (well, except the few cases here and there - all traced back to MAGAts).  The reality is that Donald J. Trump never should have been in the Oval to begin with and the majority have risen up to kick his rotting ass to the curb.

So, MAGAts, we are going to save you whether you like it or not.  Healthcare will get better.  You'll benefit from that.  Taxes will not go up unless you make over $400k a year.  You will benefit from that.  Minimum wage will go up.  You will benefit from that.  Climate change will be addressed in earnest.  You will benefit from that.  Science will take the lead on COVID-19.  You will benefit from that.  Our place on the world stage will be restored.  You WILL benefit from that.

You and your sunlamp leader tried to smear Joe Biden.  Tried to blackmail other nations into smearing Joe Biden.  Tried to drag his son into the fray, mocking his struggles with drug abuse - all the while you red staters are the biggest makers and intakers of meth (and porn).  I'm sure you were confused here towards the end by what was happening.  Or rather what was not happening.  No one was taking the bait.  Not us, not news networks.  It was all easily disproved bullshit, coming from a man who has lied to you over 23,000 times so far.

Now you sit slackjawed wondering HOW?  How could Joe Biden get over 4 million more votes than Dear Leader?  We had boat parades!  We blocked highways with our pickup trucks!  We bought flags the size of bedsheets and strapped them to our vehicles!  Our signs were bigger!  We got Trump tattoos!!  We went to rallies!

Even Trump's Stupid Failson #2 openly wondered how it could be since he never saw Biden supporters out like Trump supporters, cars and trucks festooned with signs, flags, banners, no boat parades.  Never saw Biden holding massive rallies.

Let me explain it as easily as possible:  We don't worship our political leaders and we do not feel the need to ride around looking like fucking dolts.  And we understand there is an actual deadly pandemic, so attending rallies - proudly unmasked - is a monumentally STUPID FUCKING THING TO DO.

Seriously, you all look and behave like the worst brats in the middle school.  The ones who live to taunt and bully because of your own insecurities.  The ones who equate being loud with being right.  The ones who think intimidating others makes you BIG.  The ones who mock the smart kids in class.  The ones who laugh at the chess club, the science nerds, the band dweebs, the debate club, the theater kids.

Well, you just got your ignorant asses handed to you by the chess club, the science nerds, the band dweebs, the debate club, and the theater kids.  See, we know you.  We remember you.  And even when you were making our lives miserable, we knew we were going to leave you in the rearview.  Leave you to rot in your jealousy, your lack of initiative, your bad grades, your bad behavior, your bad lives.

Because you are bad people.

I make no apologies for typing that.  This has never been a mere difference in politics.  Under Trump, you outed yourselves as the venal, hateful, racist, rancid, insecure, selfish skinsacks of vile bile that you are.  You cheered as he called all Mexicans rapists and drug dealers.  You fistbumped as he targeted Muslims.  You fapped yourselves silly when he began stealing children - BABIES - from their parents at the border.  You high fived as police gassed innocent citizens protesting systemic racism and police brutality, never bothering to note your own hypocrisy when they didn't gas you when you showed up at state capitols strapped up with weapons.   You jeered as RBG passed and her seat was quickly filled with a character from Handmaid's Tale.  And you have repeatedly and loudly boasted, bragged, and bullied your way through this pandemic - mocking masks, throwing tantrumps in stores, spreading the virus with every rally you attended unmasked.

You are not good people.  I have said before, I do not care if you go to church, volunteer at a soup kitchen, care for your old granny, or knit booties for babies.  If you stand shoulder to shoulder with the worst elements in our society - Nazis, racists, bigots, white supremacists - cheering and marinating in the sewer of that filth, that hate, that deadly stew - YOU ARE THEM.  This is not about the economy for you.  This is about feeling free to hate openly for you.

So to borrow that favorite worn t-shirt of yours:  FUCK YOUR FEELINGS.

Trump will be in his presidential death throes for the next two months.  His actions will be vile and dangerous.  And he will be turning on you, too, so don't be surprised - after all, you did not keep him in office, safe from prosecution, ensconced on the golf course.  You live for a humanity famine of a man for whom you were only and ever a means to an end.  And the end is now here.  You are useless to him and he will treat you accordingly.

So here's what's going to happen.  A decent man and a decent woman are going to be sworn in on January 20, 2021.  They will come in with plans in place to take on this health crisis, to fix so much of what Trump ruined.  They will bring decency back and begin working on the politics of making ALL LIVES MATTER - you know, your favorite bullshit response to Black Lives Matter?  LGBTQIA lives will matter, DREAMers lives will matter.  Religious lives will matter.  Secular lives will matter.  Black lives, brown lives, white lives - the whole fucking rainbow of lives will matter.  Even YOUR life will matter to them whether you like it or not.  Their actions will be to make your life safer, more secure, healthier, economically better.  And some of you may slowly, begrudgingly begin to see you were wrong this whole time.  Most of you won't.  But some of you will.

What happened today is that over four million (and counting) more people than you stood up for this country, for the marginalized, for the battered, for the abused, for the downtrodden, for the hopeless.  What happened today is that we polished off the plaque at the Statue of Liberty to let the world know that we will soon be again open for business.  A haven.  A beacon of light, refuge, democracy.  Not perfect by any means, but dedicated to the pursuit of better, the pursuit of liberty and justice.  For all.  Even you.

You had your fun, your reign of terror and abuses.  But that is coming to an end.  So buck up, snowflakes.  He's your president, get over it.  (Did I get that quote right?)

Today is the end of an error.  (Now, you'll have to excuse me. There is more celebrating to be done.)