Welcome to June 25, 2020. Quite the banner day for a country that loves itself some ratings. Seriously, get your foam fingers out and warm up those pipes because we are ready for some We're #1 chanting!
Yes, yes, yes, we still are at the top of the international charts in terms of total cases (2,480,014), and definitely in no danger of relinquishing our lead in COVID deaths (124,552). But this time, WE. TOPPED. OURSELVES. Yes, that's right, we have just charted the highest number of new coronavirus cases in a single day!
38,115. (Our previous record, set exactly two months ago was 34,203.)
Woo Hoo!
Seriously, that's an achievement. I mean when you can kick your own ass? That's not just a testament to how limber you are, but to some serious dedication to purpose.
We have hospitals overflowing in major cities across the country, doctors and nurses being pushed to the physical and emotional brink, and an economy still firmly in the shitter, but hey, at least you can get together with the girls for brunch and show off your new gel nails and highlights.
State after state is reporting surges in cases, deaths, ICUs completely maxed out. We have no leadership, no plan in place, no mask requirements, no anything to help us find our way forward.
What we do have is an imbecilic administration cutting funding for COVID testing sites, ignoring requirements for masks and quarantines in states the Moldering Mango is set to visit, and a new estimate from the CDC that by July 18 our death count will reach as high as 150,000.
All because stupidity has become a religion in this country.
Think not?
Enjoy these low iQanoners in Florida yesterday as they railed at commissioners voting to make masks mandatory for public safety.
Floridians angrily claiming masks are the work of the devil because “they want to throw God’s wonderful breathing system out the door.” pic.twitter.com/5pDzU8ncwY
— John Aravosis 🇺🇸🇬🇷🏳️🌈 (@aravosis) June 24, 2020
Watching these COVIDdiots have the temerity to lecture DOCTORS would be laughable if it were not for the deathly stakes at play. "Crimes against humanity"? "Devil's law"? JFC, lady, it's a MASK, not genital mutilation or a medieval trap with spikes inside it. And no, masks are not killing anyone regardless of what your 4Chan buddies feed you.
I remember when seatbelts started becoming a law. It was not every state at first, and I had gone to visit my sister in Missouri where they had been made mandatory. I bitched, I moaned, I joked, but my sister, far smarter than I, refused to put her car in drive until I fastened it. Fine. I did it, I hated it, because I wasn't used to it. Fast forward to today. I don't even think about it. It just happens. I get in my car, I fasten my seatbelt, then I start driving. It was not then, nor is it now, a crime against humanity to have laws about wearing them. It is to protect us all in the event we slam our tons of metal into one another. It is about protecting humanity.
Second lady? You were so close. "The problem with humanity today is ignorance, arrogance and apathy" but then you landed your plane in Dumbfuckistan where you view experts, science, facts, and data and those of us who understand them as being the ignorant ones. As for arrogance, how dare you think you can saunter around endangering other people? And apathy? How the hell hard is it to wrap a bandana around your blathering maw?
I love the next lady, in that I would love to ring her whiny neck. "They want to throw God's wonderful breathing system out the door." Just curious - what do you think contracting COVID and having to be intubated does to God's wonderful breathing system?
And then there's the I-got-my-degree-from-a Reddit-thread woman. She sits there questioning the degrees and credentials of the doctors in front of her. The same doctors who will have to care for her should she become ill. The same ones who will look past her willful ignorance and fight just as hard to save her wretched life as they will someone who has taken all the precautions possible.
Fed a steady diet of OAN - amazing that we now have a channel 100% worse than FOX - QAnon conspiracy theories about Bill Gates, 5G, pedophile rings, and George Soros, and led by a Hot Air Buffoon who refuses to wear a mask and has completely tapped out in terms of leading us through this pandemic - these mashed potato brained folks walk among us. They have zero understanding of reality, absolutely no interest in educating themselves (come on, conspiracies are so much more exciting!), and live to "own the libs."
Going to pause here and give you a brief run down about Qanon. I know many of you have heard of it, but I keep seeing people who have no idea what it is about. Buckle up.
It started back in 2017 on a 4Chan board. Someone with the handle "Q" purported to have super secret classified info about a deep state plot against the Ku Klux Klown. Well, that kind of shit attracts flies and so was born QAnon. They have gone on to accuse celebrities and Dem politicians of being part of a pedophile ring in which part of the allure is torturing the children so that adrenochrome builds in their pituitary gland and is extracted.
"Adrenochrome is a drug that the elites love," says gossip columnist-turned-conspiracy-theorist Liz Crokin. "It comes from children. The drug is extracted from the pituitary glands of tortured children. It’s sold on the black market. It’s the drug of the elites. It is their favorite drug. It is beyond evil. It is demonic. It is so sick."
But in their delusions of this imaginary pedophile ring, it does not just include their usual suspects like Bill and Hillary, oh no. Tom Hanks, Ellen and Oprah have all been targeted as well. There are always elaborate postings about imminent arrests that never take place. And they believe that Trump feigned collusion with Russia so as to expose this ring and prevent a takeover by we slithering viperous Dems.
They have grown in numbers - gullible attracts gullible after all, so if you see anyone with this hashtag #WWG1WGA, signifying the motto "Where We Go One, We Go All", don't engage, just slowly turn and walk away - and now have widened their net to include Bill Gates wanting to implant a chip within any COVID vaccine, 5G towers will control the chips, George Soros bankrolls, well, everything, and there are still a billjillion arrests imminent. Think I am exaggerating? Give homegirl here a minute thirty of your time.
Ready? OK, brace yourselves because here's the best part. The hardQore also think Q is JFK Jr.
Not shitting you.
Yes, that JFK, Jr. The one who died decades ago with his wife in a small plane crash has actually been hiding out in Pennsylvania and is an avid Trump supporter who will reveal himself as Trump's 2020 running mate.
Careful, don't roll your eyes that hard, you'll get a headache.
This is literally what we are up against in this fight to keep people alive. A MAGAt cult blindly devoted to drinking whatever Flavor Aid is fed to them, Republicans in leadership roles who care only about their own political survival and nothing about your literal survival, and a whole lot of loons who think JFK Jr is on the prowl and ready to pounce.
Their echo chamber is loud and drowns out all reason, sanity, probity, and decency. And yes, I realize liberals can be accused of living in an echo chamber as well, but I prefer the loud reverberations of love, equality, and humanity that we have in ours. I can listen to those all day long.
If you are on Twitter you may have seen their recent misspelled and garbled pronouncements about leaving the Twitsphere and taking their business to Parler. Grandstanding, ALL CAPS screeds in which these First Amendment "scholars" rant about their free speech being hindered on Twitter. Once again, 1A provides that the government cannot come and get me for saying something like "Donald Trump's ballsac looks like an old bag of nickels." 1A does not protect you from being called out for your words or suffering consequences in the public square.
But please, do run on over to Parler. We shall find some way to get through our days without your hideous grammar, inability to spell, and dedication to CAPS LOCK. And Twitter will somehow manage to absorb the loss of your endless memes and racism. In other words, don't let the door hit you, Felicia.
Facts are not glamorous. Facts don't care if they titillate you or bore you to tears. Facts don't worry about if you find them too scary to internalize. They just exist. And the fact is we have brought this on ourselves. States are surging, hospitals are overflowing, several states are requiring quarantine of anyone coming in from hotzone states like Arizona and Florida, the European Union wants no part of our capricious citizenry spreading coronavirus, and many of these same COVIDiots who are whining about masks will be in search of lifesaving care before July 4th. Thousands more will be dead.
Another cold, hard fact? While I have been typing, the number of dead has been updated to 124,804. 252 more people in this country dead from this virus. 377 out of every 1 million. We are 4% of the world population, but we account for 26% of the COVID deaths. I know math is hard, but this is pretty simple. Is it really that much to ask you to simply cover your belligerent mouth and nose when out among the rest of us?
JFK Jr's dad famously asked this nation, "Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country."
The answer right now is just wear the damn mask. You'll have a much better chance of being around when Jr comes out of hiding and the citizens' arrests of Tom Hanks and Oprah begin in earnest.
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