Don't Get Me Started with Linda Sharp

The Chance To Make A Difference

Last night, in the private DGMS Facebook group, I shared the opening lines of an email I received yesterday.

"Dear DGMS angels,

I was sent to your website by a family friend who thought you might help. We are the family you read about that is really having to choose between food and medication. Without food my child starves but without her needed drugs she dies..."

Like so many of the emails that come this time of year, this one set me down hard.  Each year I am privileged to be allowed into the personal challenges, struggles, and nightmares of so many people, and with their permission I am able to share pieces with you.  So many times anonymity is a very big concern.  The internet, while WE know it can be a wonderful place where wonderful people find one another, can also be a scary place where others come to troll, inflict further pain, mock, and deride.

Asking for help is difficult.  I know this.  In the job interview of life, I would answer the question "What is your biggest weakness?" with my pathological need to NOT ask for help.  It makes me feel weak, I worry others will see me that way.  Inversely, as bad as I am at asking for it, giving it is my favorite thing.  Go figure.

But these emails.  I am always struck by the emotions they contain.  Hunger is embarrassing.  Poverty is something society likes to blame on the individual.  A job loss makes one feel like a loser, even when the job evaporates through no fault of their own.  Add children to care for into the mix, and parents feel like abject failures.

It's just not true.  Shit happens.  Life happens.

What I am allowed to relate to you about yesterday's email is this:  They are struggling and have been for a long time.  They have two children, one happens to be in the small percent (5%) of people (and the even smaller percent of children) who have Type 1 diabetes mellitus.  Her name is Bethany and she is 6 years old.  She is a brave little girl.  She must have insulin everyday for her body to function.  Without it, she could quickly slip into a coma and die.

Insulin is expensive.  In the United States.  I already knew this from a dear friend who must inject daily and struggles with the amount it costs her to stay alive.

Bethany's family fights every month to put together the essentials just to exist, and just to keep their precious child with them.  That means food is often weighed against medication.  Heat, too.  And as for Christmas presents?  Not even on the radar.  They have received help from food banks, but there is a limit.  Their church helps, too.  But they, like so many I hear from, feel bad asking and receiving because they know they have it better than others.

I have promised them our help.  I have promised they will have food, they will have presents for their children.  Because we can.  Because in this world full of individuals, we have created a family.  Because this family always rises to the occasion to make a difference.

I am hard at work elfing for this family even as new requests come in.  Please donate if you can, and spread the word to others who may want to help, or more importantly, may need our help.

Let's make those sleigh bells jingle for Bethany.

 

 

 

 

The Worst? More Yes, Virginia Perspective

I apologize if this is a Little Drummer Boy drum I beat a lot this time of year, but each day as I receive and read emails asking for help, describing the circumstances others face, and more heartbreakingly the minimal things people ask for - it bears rebeating. 

Perspective in this world is everything.  We tend to get tunnel visioned on our own circumstances, the challenges we are facing, the fears we go to bed with at night.  AND THAT IS FINE.  We all have something.  A lot of people have a lot of somethings.  But in this circling of our own wagons, we also tend to forget that as bad as we have it, or as uncomfortable as is a situation we may be temporarily mired in, others are facing so much more.

Ellen DeGeneres once talked about this in a stand up routine.  The worst thing.  She used a papercut as an example.  I got a papercut.  This is the worst thing.  Is it?  Really?  No, it's absolutely not, and we know it, even in the moment it happens, even in the moments that follow when lemon juice, shampoo, hot water hit the cut.  Still not the worst thing.

Yes, there are varying degrees of "worst", I know that.  But this time of year, the reminders are everywhere, but especially in my inbox.

Last week I alluded to my family currently facing some unexpected circumstances.  And yes, my absence from here is symptom of what we are working through.  Yet with each email, I am reminded that as much as I may want to wallow and throw the word worst around, we are nowhere even in the Worst Galaxy.  We have a papercut and are simply in the Temporarily Thrown and Uncertain Cosmos.

A wish list I am working on is simple.  Food.  And the wishes for her child?  A hoodie, a book, some chocolate.

A hoodie, a book, some chocolate.

Sustenance.  That's what those boil down to.  Physically, mentally, emotionally.

My kids?  (And this is not to drag them in any way, just to illustrate that even with what we are juggling currently, we are FINE.)  A vacuum cleaner, Airpods, a Switch, a KitchenAid, etc.

Another situation I have put Yes, Virginia to use towards is helping a homeless mother with a two year old and one on the way.  They were living in their car when they came to my attention.  Living in their car.  I have been pregnant with a less than two year old beside me.  I cannot even imagine the discomfort, let alone the fear.  To have such mammoth responsibilities to two helpless lives, and be helpless yourself.  (She is now in a temporary shelter.)

This is where your Yes, Virginia dollars go.  To clothes, to shoes, to coats, to toys, to food, to hope, peace of mind - no matter how temporary.

What you do is so amazingly important.  Your $10 donation may not seem like much to you, but it translates into full bellies, warmth, and smiles.

While I am typing about donations, I would like to publicly acknowledge that once again, one of our longtime DGMSers has applied for and received through her work, a $250 "grant" for Yes, Virginia.  Chicky - this makes an immense difference each year.  THANK YOU. 

But back to the worst. 

As you face your own struggles, take a moment, take a breath, and remind yourself that someone out there was wearing two hoodies against the bitter cold; that a young couple with a new baby needed food and warm clothing; that a single parent was eating less to leave more for their children; that a mom was living in a car; that a hoodie, a book, and some chocolate will mean the world to a child.  That you are touching lives.

For me, these are the daily reminders that my "papercut" is temporary. And unworthy of the word worst.

If you are hurting or know someone who is, please send them our way.  If we have helped you in the past and you still need some assistance this year, ASK.  There is no limit, life does not work that way.   And in the face of the worst, our DGMS best always triumphs.

Love you all,

Linda

Your Elf-in-Chief

Perspective: Counting Your Blessings

Currently sitting at 30,000 feet and thought I would take the opportunity to post another update about our Yes, Virginia efforts so far this year.  

It is important to me to share these with you - yes, because the funds are yours and you deserve to know how they are being used and how you are helping - but also because they offer much needed perspective.

None of our lives are perfect.  We all struggle on some level.  Emotionally, physically, financially, psychologically - we all have something.  Something that hides behind our cheery posts.  Something that belies the "highlight reel" we share on social media.

Yes, even me.

I have lost count through the years of how many comments and emails I have received about my "perfect" "charmed" "blissful" life.  I always laugh.  EVERY life has struggles, every person faces fears, every family endures hardships - we all have something.

Our family is in the midst of a "something" right now.  Sleep is being lost, fears swallowed, fingers crossed as we attempt to stay on the "something surfboard" and ride this life tsunami to the shore. 

It would be very easy to give into the "woe is me" and wallow mentality, so perspective is especially helpful for me right now.  Elfing is always full of it.  My heart is never not pained by the stories I am sent.  My life never not put into sharper focus.  My blessings brought to the fore as I read of the realities so many face daily - not just when the universal rug gets yanked.

To that end...

The most recent elfing has involved warmth and sustenance.  Two things I am not even thinking about in my own life.  I have both.  Privilege.  And I know that being granted this perspective is also a privilege.  The privilege of being allowed into someone's life, trusted with their fears, their heartaches, their embarrassments.

Some of the funds have gone to buy a much needed winter coat for a mom in our midst who lives in a far northern state, has no coat, and has been trying to get by wearing two hoodies.  Below freezing temps and two hoodies.

Perspective.  My challenge is deciding which winter coat I feel like wearing.

Donations have gone to winter boots for two small children and a teen.

Perspective.  My kids have footwear to spare.  Some for function, some for fashion, some just for fun.

Giftcards have gone out to provide food.  The mother of the kids who need boots confided that she eats very little so she can feed them more.

Perspective.  My pantry is full, my refrigerator supplied, and I just spent three days enjoying eating out all over Boston with one of my kids.

Think about your own life.  When you pull on your coat, remind yourself how lucky you are to have that coat.  When your feet are warm, say a silent word of thanks that you have those boots on them.  And when you feel hungry while looking into the pantry or freezer, and options stare back at you, be grateful, not grumpy that what you really have a hankering for is not there.

Again, we all have something.  We all face demons, fears, and circumstances we did not ask for or deserve.  

That is why I share these updates.  To remind you (and me) that life touches us all - good and bad.  But if we're lucky, we have a High School Musical-We're-All-In-This-Together group like ours at the ready to reach out and make things better, if even a little, if even for a moment.

The days are passing quickly.  Help if you can.  Ask for help if you need it.  My inbox is always open, as is the donation link on the left side of the page.

Love you all, Linda

Now Boarding: Santa's Sleigh

It's been just over a week since I wrote about this year's Yes, Virginia efforts getting underway and asking for your help in sending those in need our direction.

As of this week, we have six children in the sleigh, ready to have some Christmas magic happen.  And for them it will be magic - the magic children feel this time of year because of the promise of Santa, and twinkle lights, and stockings, and Jingle Bells.  For their parents, however, our efforts are not just magical, but miraculous.

The communications I have had so far are full of despair turned into dreams, and helplessness turned into hope.  The initial disbelief that total strangers will help them keep Christmas alive for their children is too much to absorb.  Especially in this day and age when divides are so apparent, when we fear each other more than ever.  But I have assured them this is real, that YOU are real, and that they can face Christmas with excitement instead of dread.

One of the email exchanges I have had truly touched upon what is always so prevalent each year as I reach out to people - the feeling that as parents, they have failed their children.  It is just not true.  Life happens, circumstances happen, fires, floods, and tornadoes happen.  Jobs that seem secure suddenly vaporize with no warning or fault.  And any savings that may have been earmarked for a much wanted toy suddenly get diverted to the the grocery store, the electric bill, gas for the car.

Bad things happen to good people, they just do.  And sometimes no matter how hard a person tries, they cannot catch up, much less get ahead.

And that is why we started this 11 years ago.  That is why I hope we are still doing this 11 years from now.  None of us are immune to the fickle hand of fate, the financial peril one emergency visits upon a family, or a sudden displacement may cause.

Please keep reaching out and letting me know of families in your orbit who could use our magic.  And if it is your family, PLEASE do not hesitate to contact me. Your privacy is promised, and there is no need for embarrassment or fear.  The hearts that make this happen are waiting for you.

As sales begin in earnest online, I will begin filling the wish lists that are being compiled and posting updates so you may see how your donations are being transformed into Christmas morning smiles.  Donations may be made through the Paypal link on the left side of the page.

Thank you to those who made the first donations for our 2019 season of giving - the kickstart is much appreciated!

With your help, it's time to bring some more Joy To The weary World.