I Remember The Feeling - Revisited

In 1984, Chicago released their album, Chicago 17.  Among the many popular tracks such as Stay The Night, Hard Habit To Break, You're The Inspiration, and Along Comes A Woman sits a lesser played number, but one I woke with in my head this morning as I stared into the dark thinking about what happened to this country 17 years ago.

Remember The Feeling

The title alone speaks to what we are all doing this day.  Remembering.

 
 Remembering the shock and awfulness, the completely surreal images of passenger jets flying into skyscrapers, the horror of watching people on the upper floors - trapped by smoke and heat from a fire so unimaginable - they chose to plummet to their deaths rather than endure one more moment of anguish.

Remembering the sobering images of New Yorkers looking like ash covered zombies as they stumbled away from the devastation in shock, firefighters and bystanders carrying away the body of Chaplain Mychal Judge - recognized as the first victim of 9/11 (not because he perished first, but because his body was the first recovered and taken to the coroner).

 
 
 

 Remembering how for one brief shining moment we were ONE.  United by an attack so monstrous, so diabolical, so full of evil, so bereft of human compassion - that when the towers fell, they also stripped away political affiliations, religions, financial barriers, colors, the tags homo and hetero, bi and trans.

 
And in the wake of the cascading rumble and billowing smoke, all that remained were PEOPLE.

She was a vision I couldn't believe
I held her close so that she wouldn't leave
Suddenly helpless, hopelessly falling in love

In this case, "She" is that feeling we all experienced.  The realization that life was indeed fleeting.  That every moment could be our last.  That there but for the grace of whatever God you worship - go you and I.  

I remember the feeling
I remember the way
She came and wrapped her arms around me
Told me that she cared
Said she'd always be there

And we clung to that feeling.  We wrapped our arms around it, fell in love with one another, cared for one another, desperate to find hope, reassurance, safety in our fellow citizens.  And we told ourselves we would never forget, we would move forward TOGETHER.

Taking me places I've never been
She had the beauty that comes from within
Was I just dreaming, was it too good to be true

We flew flags, our cars were decorated with magnet memorabilia, we wore tshirts commemorating the attack.  Patriotism was the oxygen we breathed.  Loving our fellow man (except for those among us who asshattedly go through life with a huge paintbrush wiping broad strokes of fear and hatred over groups like those of Middle Eastern descent), supporting one another, supporting the families of the victims, holding telethons, holding hands...

Was it too good to be true?

I was a man all alone in the night
She came along and she showed me the light
I was confused then she told me the way
I was alone and I begged her to stay

9/11 was a unifier we will unlikely see again in our lifetimes.  A seminal moment, a touchstone moment - our "I remember where I was when..." moment.  It opened our eyes, it showed us the light.  And while fear was a daily emotion in the aftermath, we were no longer alone, we had each other.  And oh, how we begged it to stay.  It was how we navigated the frightening waters surrounding us, how we took the next breath, how we stood up when we all we really wanted was to curl into the fetal position and cry.  How all it took was two sets of eyes locking to know, to feel, to comfort.

We were not alone.

She was alive I was caught by the fire
She brought emotions that filled my desire
I should have noticed that something was wrong
When I awoke she was gone

But then something happened.  

Time.  Time happened.

Time did what its job is to do.  It forces us forward, further and further away from the intensity of tragedy and loss, helps us heal, grow stronger, and shoves us back into our little lives, back into the minutiae that govern our every waking moment.

And in moving us further and further away from 9/11/01, time allowed we human beings to do what we do so well - clump into packs, name call, label make, point fingers, place blame, and forget.

I should have noticed that something was wrong
When I awoke she was gone

And she is gone, again.

It doesn't matter that today we make all the right noises, that politicians make all the right speeches at all the right locations.  That we pause for a moment and remember what took place that September morning.

It doesn't matter.  Because tomorrow will come and we will still be what we have allowed ourselves to become again over the last ten years.  Petty, bickering, juvenile, disconnected, selfish.

Some wrap themselves in the flag.  Are they more patriotic?  No, they're not.  Some scream the loudest and point the fattest fingers.  Are they right?  No, they're not.  Some hate whole groups of people.  Are they better?  No, they absolutely are not.  And some continually place blame on others.  Are they innocent?  Absolutely not.

In memory of those who woke that morning, boarded a plane, went to work, ran towards the buildings while others ran away - we should not just raise yet another flag - we should hang our heads in shame.

 
We have failed them.  By squandering what we had found, what we had gained as human beings, as a citizenry, as a global family - we have let them down.  

It should not take another mass attack, another unfathomable loss of life, another set of surreal images splashed in blood across our flatscreens to make us open our eyes and realize that we need one another, we ARE one another.

And the first step is simple:  Remember The Feeling.

 

Comments

[Nikki in nyc]

We were surrounded by the better angels if our nature. I don't know how we got here but we did. We saw a rise in ugliness that was not pushed back on hard enough. Because we didn't think it could last or lead to anything that terrible. We were wrong.