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« Oh, Sweet Yeezus... | Main | The Shame Is Ours »

Sunday, May 06, 2018


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You know, I used to spend a lot of time reading and commenting here. I haven't been around in, oh, I don't know, enough years that it's all a bit fuzzy, and most of y'all would only know me by my deadname.

Not sure what brought me back today, but I'm glad I came to have a look. I so desperately wish there were more parents like you out there, Linda.

I haven't spoken to my dad since the election, and my mom died last year, still deadnaming and misgendering me as I spent her last two weeks with her.

I mean, it's fine, I've been out as some flavor of queer for over 20 years now and it was always a struggle with my family, so I built my own found-family instead. Nothing much changed with the gender stuff, really. I don't fall into the 41%, because I get angry instead of sad. I'm not sure that's better, but it's survival.

Anyway. I wish there were more parents like you, and I hope there will be as time goes on. My favorite parts of Pride every year are twofold: All the young folks of indeterminate gender, and all the PFLAG parents.

I wanted to drop you a link here to something a friend wrote, because it might be helpful. It's got kind of a belligerent tone to it but I imagine that you would understand why a trans person writing a Trans 101 might be feeling belligerent, exhausted, and fed up, and it's chock full of really good info. Also, this isn't me snidely saying you need more education or that you're doing anything wrong etc. I just think it's a really good resource.

Glad that Toby and all of you are doing well and have come through so beautifully.

Thank you Linda for continuing to share your life and family with us. So happy for you all and especially Toby. He has come out of this much stronger and you have, through this blog, changed the minds of many people I am sure. For those still mired in ignorance, then they are free to leave this blogmunity. Life's too short to be dragged down by ignorance!

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