Back in the era of communist witch hunts, the above line, spoken by the attorney for the US Army, Joseph Welch, was spat at Joseph McCarthy, effectively ending McCarthy's career.
The majority of us are familiar with the line, if not the origin. But the words spoken directly before that immortal question seem equally as prescient in how they apply to events today. They are:
"Until this moment, Senator, I think I never really gauged your cruelty or your recklessness."
With each day that passes, with each violent outburst - verbal and physical - those words apply more and more to the entire GOP - all its representatives, all its supporters.
It was sickening to see Trump acquit the worst impulses of our neighbors, giving them permission to spew their hatred of the "other." With each campaign stop where crowds gathered and cheered on his 6th grade schoolyard bully verbiage, he grew bolder. As each lie went unchecked, he was in turn encouraged that he could get away with more. And he did.
We watched, open mouthed, as decency was shown the door during the campaign season. With each of his rallies, the rhetoric was ratcheted up, the targets grew, and the audience drew in the worst elements in our society - the supremacists who are so fragile in their threatened whiteness that violence is their go-to response to everything.
Whatever had kept such blatant racism, overt bigotry, and seething hatred in check, was gone. Decency was shown the door, and in walked unchecked cruelty and recklessness. And none of it has ever been called out by Donald Trump, which has been intuited by so many as tacit approval of their message, their goals, their behavior.
Hijabs are ripped off the heads of Muslim women. A black child's birthday party is stalked by garbage in pick-up trucks waving Confederate flags. Hatred is spewed in grocery stores at anyone who looks different. Always some variant of "Go back to your own country." A week ago Richard W. Collins III, a young black man ready to graduate from Bowie State University and enter the Army as a newly commissioned second lieutenant was fatally stabbed by Sean C. Urbanski, who was a proud member of Alt-Reich: Nation. Four nights ago, Greg Gianforte, a Republican candidate for national office in Montana, body slammed a reporter. Donations poured in to the tune of over $100,000 THAT NIGHT. He went on to win the seat. And Friday night, two more people died as a result of hatred run wild, fear-fed ignorance and ignorance-fed fear, when a known white supremacist, Jeremy Christian, thought nothing of cutting their throats when they tried to defend two young women from him (one in a hijab), on a train in Portland.
Our stubby fingered, orange hued, national embarrassment has yet to utter a word about them, how they died, or who killed them.
Again, silence translating as approval.
His only acknowledgement of Gianforte? To congratulate his win via Twitter.
As a result, comment threads are filled with vile bile supporting the body slam. GOP politicians make light of it, some even using it to threaten other reporters. And the pieces of shit who murdered three innocent people are cheered on by a sizable portion of the electorate who have shown the world they have no souls.
It has moved so far beyond disheartening to know, to see, so many of our co-workers, neighbors, and relatives embracing this level of rank cruelty. To realize that so many in our society view so many others as less than them. To see that defending someone can literally lead to your death. And that it will be cheered.
This morning, Trump, back on US soil, let loose with a litany of Tweets again disparaging the media, well, the fake media with their fake news (read: those who report facts that do not support his vision of himself). As the walls continue to close in on him and the swamp things with which he filled the White House, his anger is evident. So used to bullying his way through life, business deals, TV shows - he has no idea how to deal with the real world in which there are consequences for words, behavior, actions, and affiliations.
It is no secret how Trump sleeps at night (when not tweeting at 3 am) - he is a narcissist with no conscience, but I would really like to know how the Trump public-at-large - that wide swath that supports him and the trickle down hatred, vitriol, and homicide stemming from him, no matter what - how do YOU sleep at night? How do you walk into your church on Sunday and not fear bursting into flames?
I seriously do not get it.
I like to win, we all do. So, hurrah, you won the Presiduncy. But the fallout of your behavior? Of you propping up a reprobate who has a decades long public record of sexual misconduct, cheating, lying, fraud, bankruptcy - both financial and moral - and an open disdain for anyone lesser - how do you look in the mirror? You stood at rallies right next to KKK members. And you cheered with them. You bought everything he was selling, and researched nothing that mattered. You were told that it was ok to ignore any information that you didn't like. That by it not agreeing with your gut meant that it was fake. News for you - cognitive dissonance does not mean something is fake. It means perhaps you should get off your ass and do some research.
This conman literally told you that only he could be trusted to tell you the truth. AND YOU BELIEVED HIM.
And now here we are. That ignorance feeding at the trough of fear and hate, and striking out at reporters, fellow citizens who happen to be darker than you, and literally killing innocent people of decency and true character.
My mind keeps coming back to the movie An American President and the scene when the President addresses the assembled representatives.
America isn't easy. America is advanced citizenship. You've gotta want it bad, 'cause it's gonna put up a fight. It's gonna say, "You want free speech? Let's see you acknowledge a man whose words make your blood boil, who's standing center stage and advocating at the top of his lungs that which you would spend a lifetime opposing at the top of yours." You want to claim this land as the land of the free? Then the symbol of your country cannot just be a flag. The symbol also has to be one of its citizens exercising his right to burn that flag in protest. Now show me that, defend that, celebrate that in your classrooms.
Trump's words made our blood boil throughout the campaign, yet he was allowed to spew his awfulness and lies because we understand free speech. However, when we tried to employ that same first amendment in our rebuttals we were threatened. Free speech does not mean free from repercussion, consequence, or response from an opposing view.
We have serious problems to solve, and we need serious people to solve them. And whatever your particular problem is, I promise you (insert Trump's name) is not the least bit interested in solving it. He is interested in two things, and two things only: making you afraid of it, and telling you who's to blame for it. That, ladies and gentlemen, is how you win elections. You gather a group of middle age, middle class, middle income voters who remember with longing an easier time, and you talk to them about family, and American values and character...
Trump mastered fomenting fear and providing multiple targets to blame - Mexicans, Muslims, black people, women, liberals, all media he did not agree with - and his supporters bought in. As for American values and character? At no point has the famine of both of these been more evident than in a Trump rally and his subsequent presidency. Finger pointing, endangering citizens, targeting other religions, making "grabbing the pussy" some backass virtue.
I literally cringe when I see a red MAGA hat in public. Nothing that he has stood for, none of his behavior in his entire life, has anything to do with the concept of Make America Great Again. Make America Grimace Again and Again and Again? YES. I see that hat and immediately know that the wearer has no sense of decency, embraces cruelty and recklessness. That the person under the hat has no concept of humanity and is only interested in hurting other people, as long as nothing hurts them.
And that's the laughable part.
These people are going to be hurt. You see the stories daily now of Trump voters gobsmacked that they have strayed into the crosshairs of his disdain. Incredulous that their Medicare is going to be cut, that their spouse has been deported, that their insurance coverage is being threatened, that they are literally going to watch their children starve if his food stamp cuts go through.
They were fine as long as the stubby finger was pointing elsewhere. But I have been writing for months that the target net was only going to widen, eventually enveloping even YOU, yes you. That your whiteness, your bigotry, your racism, your homophobia, your Islamophobia, your misogyny was not going to protect you from a man who never gave two shits in a whirlwind about you to begin with. You were an easily led means to an end.
And now, because of YOU, people are dying.
What makes you still think you are immune? We know for damned sure you have no common sense.
It started when he was on the campaign trail. Trump's method of diverting attention from the factual bad press he was receiving was to literally pen the media in, and point his stubby orange fingers at them while riling up the ignorant masses in attendance. With each successful rally in which he got away with it, he ratcheted up the rhetoric, calling them names, threatening them, inviting the crowds to do the same. He mocked the disability of a reporter who wrote an unfavorable story about him, and his throngs cheered louder.
Every rally he would bellow that the journalists in attendance were “dishonest,” “sleazy,” and “disgusting.” He doxxed Jorje Ramos of Univision for asking a hard question at a press conference, releasing his personal cell phone number. His then campaign manager (read: bouncer) assaulted reporter Michelle Fields. Any TV interview turned into a pity-poor-me session for Trump as he whined endlessly about being treated unfairly.
Excuse me?
We couldn't get the media to turn the cameras away from him during the campaign, giving him endless free exposure and coverage. That any reporter daring to try to ask a real question found themselves blackballed by his campaign? Unfair, who?
Then came the now infamous words "fake news" - Trump-speak for discrediting anything that did not jibe with his version of events. His dirt dumb base grabbed that like Trump grabs pussy, applying it to everything they don't like.
I'm sorry, but just because you don't like the information being presented; just because it causes that painful cognitive dissonance in your little head, doesn't make it fake.
Two weeks ago a journalist was arrested for asking a politician questions - reporter Dan Heyman as he tried to get a response from Health and Human Services Secretary Tom Price about the proposed Health Care bill.
And last night in Montana, the GOP candidate for a vacant House seat, Greg Gianforte, literally body slammed a Guardian reporter who was asking questions about the healthcare bill. The reporter, Ben Jacobs, ended up with broken glasses and hospital xrays as a result.
BODY SLAMMED HIM.
Tell me Trump's asscension to power has not only emboldened moves like this, but endangered the people charged with keeping the electorate informed.
GOPers run from reporters, refusing to answer uncomfortable questions, hell, they refuse to hold town halls with their own constituents because they are afraid of having to own the sack of shit they belong to. Trump locks the press out of meetings - see the now infamous "nutjob" Oval Office- debacle-shitshow in which Russian reporters were allowed, but American reporters were denied. Press conferences on this nine day embarrass-the-United-States tour de farce in which our press is denied access. Press conferences where Trump refuses to call on certain outlets, openly disparaging them as "fake news" - see CNN, MSNBC, etc.
Apparently "real news" outlets are Breitbart, InfoWars, and FOX. Translation: They lob softballs, feed his thirst for conspiracy theories, and lustily fellate the President in print and TV.
Trump has gone so far as to inquire about jailing reporters who write bad things about him. (Again, the truth hurts, but is its own defense.) He is the epitome of free speech is only favorable speech.
Now more than ever, we need real journalism to come to the fore. We watched for 18 months as media presidents cared more about ratings than about realness, televising every utterance Trump made. Salivating at the revenue brought in by advertisers keen to sell their wares to all those equally frothy mouthed viewers.
Face it, we were all complicit. Whether you were in the hated him or loved him camp - Trump made good TV, in that bad-reality-TV way this nation has come to lust after. The more salacious, the better. It was like watching The Bachelor crossed with Jersey Shore crossed with Baggage. The verbal missteps and vileness became legend, we constantly wondered if this was the fuck up that would see him denied a rose and sent packing, and we all reveled in each new hideous expose' about the Orange One.
He became the Ramsey Bolton of this Game of Thronesesque campaign - the candidate we loved to hate. And so the media - fake and real - kept serving him up on a 24/7 platter.
Even as he turned on them, putting reporters in real danger, the coverage continued. And he used that power against the press. Convincing his easily led followers that the media was the enemy, could not be trusted, and above all - were liars. That no one could be trusted for the truth but him.
And so here we are. A huge swath of the citizenry not just suspicious of hard hitting journalism, but refusing to believe anything that they don't like. And reporters now having to fear that if they do their job, ASK QUESTIONS, they are in real danger of being assaulted. They literally are being penned into a don't ask (anything hard), don't tell (anything unflattering) position.
It is one thing to be a journalist in a warzone. Commitment to the story, and yes, a fair amount of ego go into that decision making process - of course they want the scoop. But when a reporter is broadcasting as an embed, or wearing a flak jacket in Kandahar - they know the risks involved. Wearing a business suit in a hotel, at a campaign stop, or press conference should not come with the same considerations towards bodily harm or death.
Greg Gianforte acted the way he did because Trump acts the way he does. Like a bully. With no repercussions. Ever.
Message to Gianforte and every member of the GOP - if you cannot take being asked questions, even ones that make you uncomfortable, then step down. You serve the people, not the other way around. And the press, when they are acting responsibly, not as ratings whores, represent the people.
If your inclination is to strike out at them, ignore them, or shut them out, perhaps you need to take a good hard look at what you have aligned yourself with. Liars, cheats, conmen, grifters, and criminals obfuscate, avoid, and run.
It is time for the people to take a stand for the journalists who are truly trying to do their jobs - get information and answers for us. It is time to vote these bastards out.
So ISIS has proudly stepped forward and taken credit for last night's horrific suicide bombing at the Ariana Grande concert.
Like so many, I am not shocked by the reveal of the perpetrators - these terrorists are the first to come to mind when these attacks happen. What I am shocked by, however, is the lack of humanity involved in the run up to these attacks.
The manufactured anger, the lack of emotional connection to the conceived act, and the willingness to strap on the device, stand in the middle of innocents, and so blithely take their lives.
That is what will never cease to shock me.
The statement made by the Islamic State on the social media app Telegram read, “One of the soldiers of the Caliphate was able to place an explosive device within a gathering of the Crusaders in the city of Manchester.”
Crusaders.
Sorry, you cowardly assholes, but this child was not a crusader. She was an 8 year old little girl named Saffie Rose Roussos who was out enjoying a concert.
This young lady? Not a crusader. She was Georgina Callender, an 18 year old college student, excited about experiencing another concert by one of her idols.
These faces will continue to be revealed as the day/days move on. Of the 22 killed, 16 are said to be children.
These children are no more crusaders than are the innocent children caught in the line of fire in Iraq, Afghanistan, Syria, Pakistan, and on and on. They are collateral damage of an ideology gone toxic. They are not perpetrators who accept that their own mortality may be the price for their participation in a deadly game of cat and mouse.
They are innocent people. Children, parents, grandparents, friends, aunts, uncles, nieces, nephews who simply left their homes last night, excited to celebrate in the most basic of ways since humans staked a claim on this planet - the expression of joy through song and dance.
This morning we hear leaders promising to eradicate this cancer. We see simplistic cries on social media to "bomb them out of existence."
How?
Terrorism is not a landmass. It is not a country, a stronghold, a fort, a GPSable location. You cannot bomb an ideology. An ideology is a virus that mutates and seeps from place to place, mind to mind. It is silent, it is hidden, it is invisible right up to the moment it is not. And then it is revealed in broken bodies, disconnected limbs, blood that runs like a river. That they found the remains of the one who carried in the device and detonated it means little. That they have arrested a possible accomplice? Four more are being radicalized to take their places. Forty more are sitting back in England quietly watching the coverage and internally cheering the carnage. Four thousand, forty thousand, four hundred thousand... the numbers are literally unknown.
The only common denominator is that this unknown number of people have lost their humanity. They have traded in any semblance of being a feeling human being for inclusion in a cartel with one goal - death. The thing that stood in this area, surrounded by happy children, and took their lives was not human. Not in any way that is recognizable to those of us who value a sunrise, a hand hold, a smile, a laugh, breath, life.
I wrote last night that while decent human beings acknowledge all life as precious, of value, it is also understandable when we feel an attack like this one on a deeper level - because we recognize the surroundings, the clothing, the experience. I include the picture above not to be salacious, but to illustrate what I meant. We have all been in the concrete outer concourse of a concert hall, a sports stadium. We can easily place ourselves, our children, our friends in this space because we know this space.
And we can all look into the beautiful face of Saffie Rose and wonder how we got here. Wonder how so many have lost their humanity and see a "crusader" not a child.
As we all draw closer to one another today, seeking comfort in the face of another unimaginable tragedy, feeling outrage, helplessness, and hatred - we must be careful to not let that anger, that hatred loosen that which tethers us.
ISIS has lost theirs, but we cannot be caught losing our humanity as well. It is what will ultimately win the day and save us all.
As I sit down at the keyboard to type, the count of those who died in the explosion in the UK stands at 22 - 16 of those dead said to be children. The injured at upwards of 59 - 12 of those being under the age of 16.
Those numbers are sure to change as authorities further organize, triage, and investigate this horror.
Manchester Arena, the site of one of Ariana Grande's tour stops has a capacity of 21,000 - it is the largest indoor arena in Europe. Given her international popularity and the fact that her next stop was to be the equally large O2 Stadium in London (seats 20,000), it is not hard to imagine that the venue was close to capacity.
People like you, like me, like your kids. Teens enjoying some freedom, moms and dads escorting their tweens, 20 somethings to who knows how old somethings - all packed in, smiles in place, ready to depart the arena and take with them memories and pink balloons released during the final number. Reports are that Ariana had just finished the encore, walking behind the curtain when there was an explosion in the public area just outside the inner seating areas.
At that point, pandemonium erupted.
And we have all been refreshing Twitter and our favorite online news sites ever since. And it is not too long before we start seeing Facebook profile pics changing to some sort of remembrance/acknowledgment/Union Jack flag for those who died. It's what we do.
Because they are familiar.
Bombs explode every single day around the world, obliterating life, maiming children, stealing happiness and leaving only blood and tears. There is no end to the stories reported. And while we may read them, or not, we don't change our Facebook pictures to honor them.
Because they aren't familiar.
Hear me out.
On the whole, this world is peopled with decent, loving, caring, feeling human beings. But as human beings we are touched harder, deeper, stopped in our tracks when circumstances are those we understand, we live, we have experienced.
As "westerners" we don't shop daily in an open air market. We don't live in the bombed out remains of an active war zone. We don't drive down streets filled with IEDs.
We do go to concerts. We eat in restaurants. We fly into and out of airports. We go to festivals. We gather to watch fireworks.
So when terror strikes these venues - the Bataclan in Paris, the airport in Istanbul, the truck attack in Nice that killed 84, and now Manchester Arena - we feel it in a different way. It is more visceral because we understand those circumstances, we recognize those people. We have been in crowded places like concert halls, recently. Seriously, how many of you have been to a concert in the past two weeks? And while most of us are now conditioned to look for exits, plan our strategies, and send up a silent prayer when we are in congested places, we settle into our seats and banish those thoughts to the nosebleed section of our minds as we enjoy the play, musical, 80s group renaissance taking place before us.
Five people died today in Pakistan when a remote control bomb exploded. Twenty-four people were injured today when a bomb exploded in a Thailand hospital. Three people were killed today in Venezuela, bringing the total to 49 in two months of anti-government protests. Four soldiers in Iraq were killed today in a bomb attack.
They lived, they bled, they died. Their bodies just as fragile as yours, as mine, as the 22 who perished in Manchester Arena. You know this. I know this. We can look at our children, at each other and feel this. Something happened tonight that is so relatable, and we are feeling it at a deeper, more personal level. We can far easier place ourselves at an Ariana Grande concert than at a military checkpoint or far flung spice stall. And that scares us.
Because those people running from the concert are familiar.
So do change your Facebook picture, post a sincere thought, a prayer - do what helps you cope, self soothe, feel connected. But as you stay abreast of the news out of England tonight, tomorrow, and the days ahead, struggling with the inevitable feelings, spare a thought for the people who died today who may not look like you, may not shop where you shop, live like you live, but who did not get up today expecting that it would be their last.
Because when stripped of the Ariana Grande tickets, pink balloons, hijabs, sandals, robes, military issue gear, cut off shorts, baseball hats, hospital gowns, stethoscopes, hair ribbons, and ironic t-shirts - we are all the same.
The shock of November 8, 2016 was palpable. Not so much because we expected a Hillary win, but because we expected sanity, decency to prevail. Surely we would not allow an incompetent, reality TV bully to ascend to the Presidency on a wave of racism, misogyny, phobias, ignorance, and hate?
Since that day, the nightmare of the surreality of Trump has been unending. Like walking through mud, tar, and fog, lost, scared.
Scared because all that we warned would come to pass should this travesty take place, is happening. Daily we have watched in horror as Trump defames the office of the Presidency, turning it into a freakshow Presiduncy. Tweeting at all hours like a bullying middle schooler, literally calling Senators and Congresspeople names, and caring not one whit how anything he does completely contradicts his promises to his mASSES.
Optics be damned - since January 20, 2017, he has given this country the middle finger daily. It's not just the dollars capriciously spent on constantly flying to Mar-a-Lago or the TWENTY games of golf he has played since January. It's not just the unnecessary expense of keeping Melania and Barron in NYC. Sadly, there is no one in our legislature that will step in to end these things. So they will continue.
The bigger F.U.s he is sending the American people come in the form of his slowly transforming our government into what resembles a banana republic. And he is being allowed to operate this way with impunity.
Keeping his business ties alive and unwell, promoting his hotels and golf courses at every turn. Emoluments, be damned.
Filling important positions with relatives? Check. Suddenly Ivanka and her husband have security clearance and are sitting in on meetings they do not even begin to understand. Seriously, I highly doubt Merkel gave two shits about Ivanka's purses or shoes, or that the troops he visited overseas, looking like an actor who had wandered in off a Risky Business remake, did more than laugh their asses off at the frat boy in Tom Cruise shades and a flak jacket.
Targeting countries for exclusion, except of course the ones where he has business dealings and properties. Done.
Threatening protesters and free speech? Yep. The truth hurts his thin skin and he would like to shut that shit down.
Setting up and attending rallies so he can hear the imbecilic crowds roar his name? Done. Repeatedly.
Draining the swamp? He has become the head lifeguard of a quagmire of the very villains who he promised his dirt dumb base he would get rid of. Cronies, one Goldman Sachs-er after another, and incompetents who literally have no idea how to even begin to the do the jobs they find themselves in.
And the worst, firing anyone who disagrees with him - Check.
The latest to go before his mental firing squad is FBI Director James Comey, who received word he was fired while conveniently across the country.
Yes, the same Comey who received accolade after accolade from Trump at every campaign stop after muddying the waters with completely empty "Hillary email" rumblings just before the election. There was no there there, but it was enough to sway some opinion. Trump was a YUGE supporter of Comey, BIGLY praising him and his efforts against "Crooked Hillary."
But now, with Comey also being so involved in a Trump-Russia investigation that was getting way to close to the Oval Office, Trump suddenly fires him.
FIRES THE MAN INVESTIGATING HIM.
Let me remind you, non students of history, what took place back in the 70s.. This is what Nixon did. He ordered the firing of Archibald Cox, the special prosecutor looking into the burglary that would ultimately lead to his demise. It also was the act that emboldened Deep Throat, revealed in 2005 to have been Mark Felt, the FBI's #2 at the time.
As Nixon's world was unraveling, so was Nixon. Insomnia, rages, incoherence, threats - sound familiar? As leaks were coming out with regularity only seen in a Metamucil commercial, Nixon began demanding heads. As Hoover had died of a heart attack, he chose a justice department employee with zero FBI experience to be acting FBI director. He instructed L. Patrick Grey to be as ruthless as the Nazis in searching for the informants. He also specifically asked him to lie. In their first meeting Nixon flat out told Gray he was required to lie for him and be able to 'do something and deny (it) on a stack of Bibles'.
Sound like anyone we know?
Word coming from leakers within the White House have already told news sources that Trump and his team have been shocked by the backlash and outcry over Comey's firing. That is because he is not only completely insulated by sycophants, but because he believes he is untouchable and may continue to act with impunity.
And what is the most GOPers in our legislature can choke out about this frightening move to thwart the investigation into his corrupt ties to Russia? They are "concerned". They are "troubled." You know what else they are?
Traitors. If this does not show every last person in this country that party and power are more important than the actual patriotic governance of this nation, I don't know what will. We are truly lost.
Mitch McConnell is rejecting calls for an independent special prosecutor. Paul Ryan could not give less of a shit if he had not eaten in three weeks. Sean Spicer actually hid in the bushes last night to avoid answering questions from the press corp. (Surely God intervened on this one - as Melissa McCarthy is hosting SNL this Saturday.)
But SNL and late night talk hosts will not save us. Shout as they might about the blatant corruption, treasonous connections, and anti-American acts taking place - we are lost. Without elected officials finally saying ENOUGH to Trump & Co. and taking back what has been stolen and consolidated (power), this country will continue its death spiral.
Yes, there are grand juries which have been impaneled for a while. And yes, sources say twenty subpoenas have been issued, but to what end now? He literally does not care. Last night he fires the man who just last week requested additional resources in this investigation, and today he welcomed Russian Foreign Minister Sergey Lavrov into the Oval Office, with only Russian news sources allowed in. That's right, he denied any access to American media.
Power has been allowed to corrupt, as it can when left unbothered by rules and laws: absolutely.
With every action Trump takes, he is testing the will of the GOP to step in, and with every one of his actions, they are staying firmly attached to his corpulent power teat.
My questions for Trump and his supporters continue to be, if he is so innocent, why fear this investigation? If there is nothing revelatory in his tax returns, why not release them? And honestly answer this question: Were ANY of this reversed and the name Trump replaced with Hillary, would you be supporting her actions, defending the indefensible? Rhetorical question - we all know damned well you would be calling for her head, there would be an armed insurrection afoot, and you would be masturbating to thoughts of impeachment proceedings.
We have quickly become the kind of country we have loudly held disdain for throughout the years since our founding. We are not leaders of the free world. We are becoming backwater, dangerous, rudderless.
Yes, we can march. (March For Truth - June 3rd) Yes, we can call (CALL THE DEPT OF JUSTICE at 202-353-1555 and demand that Deputy Attorney General Rosenstein appoint a special prosecutor to oversee the ongoing investigation of Russian meddling in the 2016 election). But unless we strike massive fear into the hearts of these power hungry, spineless reprobates, we are lost.
Our country is in crisis. How did we get here so fast? And what have we become?
One year ago, our son, our family, tightly holding metaphorical hands, took a deep breath and leaped. The moment took place, as do so many in today's high tech age, with a keyboard and the hitting of the word "Post".
One year ago, Toby walked out of the shadows and into the light. And we proudly walked alongside him.
One year ago, Toby and I took to our social media platforms and told the world he is transgender.
It was a moment fraught with nerves, fear, trepidation, but also one filled with love, joy, and hope.
As his friends and followers watched his coming out video, as my friends and followers read my - his parent's - words, the nerves began to quiet, the fear began to fade, and the trepidation turned to certainty.
I have always written that the truth is powerful. That the questions are always more scary than the answers. That as human beings, our mental default is worst case, not best. In that moment and in the moments, days, weeks, months, and year that have followed, our answer has reinforced how powerful the truth is. In the light of truth we found more love than we knew was out there, experienced the truest depths of friendship, and the unmatched feeling that only comes from living fully, freely, openly.
As Toby is careful to point out, this is a lifelong transition and will be a series of coming outs for him - new people, friends, romance - coming out to those he decides to bring into his trust. But today marks the day we dropped the curtain, stopped having to be careful, and finally exhaled.
As Toby's parents, we have received so many emails, questions, support, and admiration. So many accolades for how we have "handled" having a transgender child. And about that, I have also written. We appreciate every single expression of support for us. As human beings, our tribe is part of our survival. But the bigger truth here is that - at least in our opinion - we didn't do anything.
We simply kept on parenting. (My parents kept on parenting, Rudy's parents kept on parenting - they have supported us as we have supported our child.)
We simply kept on accepting our child.
We simply kept on loving him.
And frankly, again in our opinion, loving our children is as easy as breathing. We don't have to think about it. We don't have to remind ourselves to breathe lest we get distracted and forget to inhale. Our bodies do it as a natural reflex to being alive.
We need Toby, Kendall, and Culley as much as we do oxygen - they are the air we breathe. Loving them fully, unconditionally is our heart's natural reflex to being alive.
May 10, August 8, and October 14 will always be celebrated yearly by us - they are the days our children were born. But today we add one more day to that calendar of celebration.
Today is Toby's rebirth day.
And my message to all parents is simple: if your children are happy and alive, you have won the lottery already. You have everything you need to continue parenting them through anything this life may reveal.
Happy rebirth day, Toby. I am truly the luckiest mom alive.
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I am including the original post from May 7, 2016. It includes Toby's coming out video (now actively used by many psychologists with their young patients). Please feel free to share, as with each day that passes in this world, more children are finding the strength to speak their truth, and more parents are beginning to take the first shaky steps into the light with them.
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A Family In Transition - Full Disclosure
The intro to this post is a piece I wrote a little less than a year ago. I ask you indulge me and read it through as it leads into our lives today. ~ Linda
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For years I have written pieces in support of equality for all, regardless of their place on the gender spectrum. That no one's sexuality should be the determining factor in one's ability to participate fully in "in liberty and justice for all" in this country of ours. That if two people are in love, who is to tell them they cannot be?
But lately, as the national conversations surrounding the letters LGBT, marriage equality, and same sex adoption have ratcheted up, I find myself thinking more and more about the young people who will truly be affected in the years to come.
Will they come out into a land where they ARE viewed as equal? Will they freely walk an aisle to their same sex mate in every state, with that marriage being recognized in every state? Will a trans child grow into an society that insures the suicide attempt rate continues to fall?
For these young people, some so young right now that they are not yet aware that they are these young people, their parents are the ground zero in their first step.
Or rather their parents should be.
Which brings me to the question. To all of you who are parents, and to all of you who aspire to someday be granted the privilege: What kind of parent are you? What kind of parent will you be?
If your kneejerk response is, "Well, no child of mine will ever dare be gay/lesbian/trans!" then you immediately fail this test because you do not understand this is beyond your control and has absolutely zero to do with you.
I don't care how much religion in which you steep your child; how much vocalized bigotry you espouse under your roof; how much fear you may try to bring to bear - if your child falls somewhere on the spectrum besides hetero, THEY JUST DO.
So, when that day comes - and it will come to many of you - what will you do?
As your child stands in front of you, on the precipice of an emotional cliff with no safety net, bravely attempting to share their essential truth with you, will you be their hope and harness? Or will you be their horror?
Will your ego, your religion, your upbringing, your preconceived notions push your child off that cliff?
Again, it's an honest question because none of us becomes a parent knowing who our children are. Yes, we can raise them, get to know their personalities, their likes, dislikes, talents, and tantrums. We can groom them - influencing taste buds, expanding musical horizons, instructing them in a chosen faith - but we do not get to choose who they are. We do not get to choose their hair color, eye color, which hand they write with, if they are artistic, musical, athletic. Why would we deign to think we get to choose their heart, their mind, their soul, their inner being?
So what kind of parent will you be?
Will you reach out and immediately embrace your child or recoil? Will you be caught up in your own thoughts of how this affects you? Will you admit your ignorance, but vow to educate yourself, or will you wallow in your arrogance? Will you choose the love you have had for your child through the years, or retreat to a hate you have always nurtured towards "those people"?
And keep in mind, you will only get one shot to get your response right - the moment the words are hanging fearfully in the air between your child's mouth and your ears. How you respond is what they will feel and remember forever. Sure, they may allow you some rope, and you may come around, but your initial response will leave a mark. Because you will have inflicted a memory, and those are wounds that stay.
If you find yourself in that moment, what should you feel? Flattered, appreciated, important, vital, and fearful.
Flattered - that your child is doing the hardest thing a child can do - open up. No matter how great is your relationship with your child, they will still be afraid. Afraid of rejection, afraid of disappointing you.
Appreciation - that your child is standing in front of you baring their soul.
Important - yes, important because you are being trusted more than ever in that moment.
Vital - because your child is where they should be, in front of you. This moment is what every moment, day, week, month, and year before should have been shaping you as - their safe place.
And finally, fearful - yes, you should be afraid. This society is making strides, but there are still swaths of people - large swaths - who derive some backass sense of superiority by virtue of their hetero-ness. Which is just as lame as those who derive some idiotic superiority over having been born white. And they take pleasure in hurting those unlike themselves.
I can promise you that your child will be fearful. Again, no matter how strong you consider your relationship with them to be, by the time they stand in front of you, they have a back up plan formulated. And probably not just one. Probably several back-up plans, friends to run to, other parents they trust, couches they may sleep on, where they will go.
When they stand in front of you, all they want, all they are desperately hoping to find, is the love that kept them alive as a baby, nurtured them as a toddler, supported them as a young child. To find that love still standing strong, ready to be their harbor from the storms, to be their strength as they move forward, to be the one love they can fall asleep certain will never leave them stranded.
The streets are littered with homeless LGBT teens. Young people disowned, kicked out, cut off, cast aside like so much trash. Young people whose greatest sin was to articulate who they are. Young people who found horror, not hope. Condemnation, not calm.
Ask yourself. Now. And continue to ask yourself as your children grow.
What kind of parent will you be? For your child's sake, I hope it's the kind that they - and every single child out there - deserve.
You may now ask yourself, Who does she think she is to be sounding so judgmental? To be making assumptions about my parenting? To be speaking so plainly about something of which she has no real world knowledge?
Fair questions, all.
I will tell you who I am. I am Linda Sharp. Proud mother of a transgender human being.
Yes, for the all years I have been an advocate, writing piece after piece against discrimination, ignorance, bigotry, and bias, one year ago I found my advocacy to not just be on my doorstep, but the very fabric of my being. The filter through which I take every single breath. The glass through which I now view the world.
And let me tell you now, advocacy is easy. This is something else.
It is no secret to those who have been a part of this blogmunity for years that I have, to an extent, gone underground the past year. Posts have been few, what posts there have been have been serious. It is not that I have lost interest in writing; it is not that the world has offered no grist for my mental mill. Far to the contrary.
It is simply that my real life has taken complete precedence. I have been learning. I have been growing. I have been scared. I have lost sleep. I have had dark nights of the soul, and moments too pure to capture in words. I have carried my family forward. I have been planning. I have been fighting for my child.
Actually, WE have been doing all these things.
We - Rudy. A father who did not blink when told his child was transgender. A father whose only reply was, "Happy and alive. That's all I need."
We - Culley and Kendall. Siblings who did not blink when told their sibling is transgender. Their only reply has been to close the protective ranks even tighter and offer support, love, and their own longstanding brand of humor.
We - Kim, my sister. My safe place in this world. The person I turned to and who did not turn away, did not blink. All I received was love, acceptance, and unwavering commitment to my child.
We - My parents, who I spent a year fearing we would lose to this revelation; who stepped up in a way I never could have imagined. They love their grandchild NO MATTER WHAT, and I have never been so happy to be wrong about something in my life.
We - Rudy's parents, beautiful souls who could not care less - their only concern that Carson is happy and whole.
We - Friends. The circle is small, as the protection and privacy and safety of our child has been paramount the past year. But those who have been brought into the fold have offered nothing but unending love, support, and the most beautiful words we have heard along this journey: "Carson is just Carson."
Perhaps that is the biggest lesson so far. The one I wish to teach to the world. Carson IS just Carson. Nothing about this transition will change WHO C is at heart. The spirit, the empathy, the compassion, the artistry, the athleticism, the friendship, the will, the humor, the love - none of that changes. Yes, as we progress, the packaging will morph, there may be a name change or name addition in the offing, but the person?
Carson is just Carson.
As a parent, I will now tell you how it came to pass, how Carson told me, because this is important.
Life began to change in a Target.
A year ago, while passing the baby clothes, we were talking (again) about how Carson and Kendall do not want to make babies. No big - I know this, and I am not owed grandchildren. I jokingly said, "Well, come on, when Culley has kids you will make a great Aunt."
What came back was almost a whisper. "Or Uncle."
In that moment, I knew, I could see, that if I said one more word, a dam would break and Target was not the place Carson wanted a breakdown, or this conversation.
We came home, sat on the couch, and I was honored to watch someone be brave. Truly brave.
This is important, because my children have grown up watching me, listening to me, reading me. They know where I stand on equality, humanity, my heart. But Carson was scared. Even having grown up in this incredible family Rudy and I have built. Even knowing how I have been a vocal LGBT advocate all his life, writing article after article decrying ignorance, bigotry, hatred. Even knowing how many of my friends are respected advocates on the international stage. Even knowing all that, Carson was petrified. Because there is knowing and there is KNOWING. Ask yourself right now - what kind of environment am I fostering? If Linda's child could be scared in such an open, accepting home, what have I been building around my child?
When Carson sat in front of me, all he wanted, all he was desperately hoping to find, was the love that kept him alive as a baby, nurtured him as a toddler, supported him as a young child. To find that love still standing strong, ready to be his harbor from the storms, to be his strength as he moves forward, to be the one love he can fall asleep certain will never leave him stranded.
I promise you that is what he found. I did not blink. I did not falter. I did not hesitate.
In that moment, as C struggled to wrap his lips around the words, I saw courage like I have never seen in my life. And I felt blessed, honored, STRONG. I saw a person baring their soul to me with their essential truth, what Carson has known for a long time, but has struggled to define. And in that moment, everything made sense. Everything I have always known about that child. Every quirk, every action, every bit of androgyny of the past five years. In that moment, I knew the truth, too.
We have a son.
My response? To hold my child close and say, "OK, what do we need to do?"
And so began our journey. And the love I thought could get no bigger, has.
What I will tell you now is simple – transgender people are PEOPLE. PEOPLE for whom their outside simply does not match their inside. And there have been transgender humans since there have been humans. Just as there have been homosexuals, bisexuals, pansexuals, asexuals, and every other place on the human spectrum. This is not something new. This is not some fad to be blamed on Caitlyn Jenner, who, by the way, is also a real human being, finally being who SHE has always known herself to be.
Transgender people are not perverts or pedophiles or monsters. Carson is NOT a pervert, pedophile, or monster. And every heinous law being passed in this country against them is intensely personal because, as I said above, what was once simply advocacy, is now the very fabric of my life.
Life.
The past year since Carson told me, I have been doing the hardest parenting of my life. I have slept little. I worry a lot. The suicide attempt rate of transgender individuals is 41%. Let that sink in. 41%. That is the filter through which I take every single breath. 41%. Because society is fucked. Because religious zealots and bigots populate our legislatures and pass laws caring not who they target or hurt or demean. Because there are many parents who do not deserve the title who cast their child out, condemn them, try to beat it out of them.
There is nothing to beat out. That would be as worthless as me trying to beat “straight” out of you. You wake up each morning knowing who you are. You just do. The same way gay people just do. The same way transgender people just do.
41% suicide attempt rate. My child is strong, and has an incredible support system, but the stories are many - kids like Carson, who have parents like us, who have done all the right things, taken all the steps necessary, provided all the support and love possible, still end up burying a child who somehow still saw suicide as the better option to living in a society that condemns them at every turn. Sleepless nights. Many.
But Carson has been in constant therapy for a year now. We have been in therapy with him. Carson is doing well. Actually, Carson is doing GREAT. We are all doing GREAT. It is rather incredible what love, consistency, and the assurance of those surrounding you can do for a human being.
For those who may now be going, Ah ha, this is why Carson quit soccer - No.
A terribly abusive coach finally pushed Carson to the point where he had enough and drew his line in the sand. And you should know, when Carson, the player everyone looked up to, the player who provided the most leadership, the most skill, the most game awareness, the most potential; the player who played every game, quit, seven people quickly found the courage to follow, including two roommates who not only quit the team, but left the school at Christmas. That is how bad it was. And that number looks to continue to keep growing. And Rudy and I have never been prouder of Carson for finally standing up and saying ENOUGH.
Again, transitioning had nothing to do with Carson quitting. But it has made it possible to implement our plans, and possible for Carson to stop living a lie and move towards finally, fully living his truth. Yes, his. That pronoun, those three little letters, are incredibly important. You may not realize it in your daily life, but your pronoun defines a large piece of who you are. And being able to move forward to a place where we can finally begin using HIM, HIS, HE is amazing.
It is a step. A step on what we know is a very long road ahead of us. As I have written - just last week, in fact - transitioning is slow, deliberate, as it should be. This is not haphazard, capricious, without care. There is consideration at every step, and doctors assembled and working together as a team.
But I tell you now, as big, as important, as life changing, life affirming as this unexpected road on the life map of Sharps may be - it does not define us. It does not define Carson.
We live. We love. We laugh. Being transgender is not terminal cancer or a malignant tumor. But even if it were, we would still live, love, and laugh each day. Because we are human beings, because Carson is a human being. And human beings are not ONE thing. We are like diamonds - multifaceted, unique, flaws here and there, but shining bright regardless.
And yes, you bet your ass this family has laughed a lot the past year. Cried? Sure. We have been figuring things out, supporting one of our own through dark days, through highs and lows. Of course we have shed tears. Finding out your child has been carrying a weight so heavy for years, alone, is devastating. But we have laughed. We are alive. We make bad jokes. We conjecture. We tease. We falter, we flail, we catch each other, and we laugh a little more.
We have a plan, and are beginning to implement it. As the weeks and months roll on, I will write more and more, advocating and sharing each step - that those who know and love my family may stay abreast, that those who don't understand may educate yourselves, and that those who are walking this path with their own child, or alone, may find their way here and know there is no shame, no hiding, just love and support and honesty.
Because it is not just our child in transition, it is our entire family, it is every friend who has committed to the journey with us. Because we will all change, become more for supporting another in becoming whole. Because life is short and we choose to live and love as hard as possible with each breath we are privileged to take.
To those who have silently been with us this past year - your friendship and support have meant more than any of us can possibly convey. I ask that you help us as we move forward, helping others understand if you can, and just continuing to love our child as you have always loved our child. I also ask that you now step out of the shadows and into the comments, both here and FB, as your words of support will mean the world to Carson and demonstrate to others that love is love is love. (I will moderate the comments, and post them as they come through.) Also, that your visual display may embolden others to join us. If you are a friend, but are only learning now, please know it is not meant as a slight. Timing and opportunity have played a large part in those who have been granted "early access."
To those reading this who may have a violent and ugly reaction? Save it. Move on. I know the world is filled with horrible people who take glee in hiding behind their keyboards and shitting their judgment and ignorance on others. I know your type - you have made my inbox your personal toilet over the years as your inability to discuss any topic as an adult is shown in your emails. You are not needed, you do not matter. Your approval, understanding, empathy, or ability to "get" it are not necessary, but neither is your ugliness. I daresay every one of us could be ripped to shreds over things that set us apart from the herd. So as my mother always says, Sweep your own doorstep.
As for me? I am stronger now than I have ever been. My marriage is healthier than ever, closer even, despite the miles that still separate us. I love my children unconditionally, without reserve, without hesitation. And they have never been more certain of this in their lives. They have truly seen where the rubber meets the road in their parents' actions. Like Rudy, my requirements are simple, my requirements are two: Happy and Alive. They are. We are.
So there it is. Our lives that I have always shared here so openly; our childrens' lives you have embraced with affection and encouragement as you have watched them grow; now the full disclosure of our continuing path. I welcome you to take our hands and walk the miles ahead with us. Where we are going may be uncharted, but we know one thing for certain - we go there with love. Together.
And now, it is my incredible honor, as this child's mother, to introduce my SON, Toby Carson, to the world. Onward...
And, as only my son can do it - his coming out video he shared on FB this morning. Enjoy. And please share if you know someone you think this may touch/help/inspire.
Just in time for Mother's Day, the perfect gift has hit the Amazon galaxy. Tenderly romantic, capable of inducing deep thighs, er sighs, and having a leg up on the competition by being FREE, here it is, kids:
I have already gifted this to myself, pulling up to the Amazon drive thru and hurling it through cyberspace to my Kindle. Having begun to dig into this bucket of love, my breasts are already heaving at the tender way the words just fall off the bone of this manuscript.
Join Lady Madeline Parker as she runs away from her love famined, dry betrothal like a, a, a chicken with its head cut off. Salivate as she meets Harland, a sailor with a past, who marinates her in the secret ingredients of passion, gently, lovingly caressing her delicious skin, as his cologne of Original Recipe #5 fills her nostrils. She inhales deeply as his cob of corn moves closer to her cornbread muffin. Overcome with hunger, they move in haste, spilling passion's white slaw sauce like so much liquid confetti.
Breathless, he raises her batter speckled hand to his lips and whispers, "Finger lickin' good."
Will she choose a life of empty pretending, like a platter of tofurkey on Thanksgiving, back at Parker Manor, or follow her heart's desire and jump from the frying pan into the fires of love with Harland for a life on the high KFSeas?
I am only 23 pages in and yet I have tears streaming down my cheeks. Oh, wait, that's just chicken grease...
Give your mother the gift she deserves. A spork of love straight through the heart. And lots of napkins.
So it passed. 217-213-1, the death sentence for millions of people passed the House today. It now moves on to the Senate. What will happen there? It makes me ill to even think about.
That cases and cases of beer being wheeled into the Capitol have been spotted by reporters is mind boggling. These reprobates, who have conveniently exempted themselves from losing the coverages they are taking from others, are literally going to celebrate.
They are going to celebrate like drunken frat boys in Cabo who have seen their first tit.
Watching their glee, reading the masturbatory Tweets of those who support them and this bill, I have one question:
WHAT THE EVER LOVING FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU???
Indelicate, rhetorical question, but nonetheless the one that has lived on a loop in my mind, and in the minds of so many since the campaigns got underway and blatant racism, hatred, bigotry, misogyny, and phobias of all ilk started being elevated as righteous and right by conservatives. What happened today took that question to Pompeiian explosiveness.
Yes, yes, yes, I get the part that GOP legislators are somehow politically obligated to hate everything the black President touched. I also can Google and see immediately how many get money from insurance and pharmaceuticals companies. As for the dullardly cadre of Trump supporters? Their blind allegiance to party over country is legend.
But I cannot wrap my mind around how they think any of this is GOOD for the country. GOOD for citizens. How they laugh like hyenas at the mere thought of taking away protections from millions.
That is simply insane to me.
This notion that THEY will not be touched by these actions? Ok fine, again GOPers made sure to exempt themselves from losing those very important coverages, but the average citizen?
YOU, yes, you in the MAGA hat. What happened to your bleating ALL LIVES MATTER? Do you seriously think this will never touch your life? That your bootstraps will protect you from a life altering accident, or a life ending diagnosis? That you will never lose your job and need something from society? That your elderly parents won't fucking die? That your child is immune from a cancer diagnosis or a tumor eating away at their brain, or diabetes?
Here is a tragically laughable breakdown of the 11 states with pre-existing rates over 30% The eleven states with the highest percentages of pre-existing conditions. ALL ELEVEN WENT FOR TRUMP.
We are all made of the same fragile, frail stuff. We are biological gossamer. And as such, we are, from the moment we are born, breaking down. It is inevitable. And it does not matter what you do to make it better - you run, eat well, don't smoke, drink only on special occasions - you can still be diagnosed with a disease. Your child can still be born with a defect needing immediate intervention. Hell, they may just decide to debut early and need months of extreme NICU care.
Why in the hell do you act as if you are somehow exempt from bad things? Sorry, but your Fuck Your Feelings t-shirt is not some magical medical cloaking device. And quite frankly, those guts pulling at the letters of your Fuck Your Feelings t-shirt are going to compromise you eventually. What's your plan then? Think Trump will save your bankrupt, pus oozing ass when insurance won't touch you? Your girth IS a pre-existing condition. Oh, you cannot afford the hike in premiums your insurance company just imposed because your orange stained hero said they could? Sorry, but could you kindly move to the side and die out of sight, please. Your open lesions are unsightly.
I have written repeatedly that this past election was not about a difference in politics, it was about a difference in humanity. What better example of that do you need than what happened today?
Here is the breakdown for you, just so you know who to call when your intestine starts to ooze out your ass and no doctor will touch you.
I want you to remember those numbers. Remember that every Democrat in the House was trying to protect you, and every Republican was out to hurt you, your parents, your children. Yes, even that one cowardly vote abstainer was a Republican.
It is not rocket science to grasp why they rushed this vote before the CBO could weigh in on what it means in terms of costs, repercussions. It doesn't take a great mind to understand why they ran to vote without a care as to knowing the details. This is not about making your life better. It is about doing what they have attempted to do over 60 times now - erase the progress made by President Obama.
What is so broken inside them and their supporters that this takes precedence over trying to better the lives of our citizens, you know, what they were elected to do? Something is missing. Something is profoundly misshapen inside these people that they feel nothing as they cheer one another on in their march to strip over 24 million of health insurance; as they pat one another on the back as they watch people soon be unable to get, or if they can still get - AFFORD - insurance coverage because of some health battle they are currently fighting.
I will state this again - my dear friend is seriously planning having to leave the United States if this passes the Senate. Her entire life is a pre-existing condition. And she is not the only one having to investigate this as the option to the GOPer sanctioned death sentence. That people are literally ready to seek asylum from our government in another country in order to better their chances at surviving? That is the shameful place this "We're #1" country has come to.
I ask again - what the fuck is wrong with you?
Sadly, I suspect the answer is simple. Far too many with the pre-existing, terminal condition of UNCARING ASSHOLE.
Back in 2009, America's Dumbbell Laureate, Sarah Palin, wrote on her Facebook wall:
Government health care will not reduce the cost; it will simply refuse to pay the cost. And who will suffer the most when they ration care? The sick, the elderly, and the disabled, of course. The America I know and love is not one in which my parents or my baby with Down Syndrome will have to stand in front of Obama's "death panel" so his bureaucrats can decide, based on a subjective judgment of their "level of productivity in society," whether they are worthy of health care. Such a system is downright evil.
And so the myth of the "death panel" was born.
The problem is that the myth, so widely mocked and disproven with, you know, FACTS, how now begun to breathe and turn into a reality.
Bureaucrats are now once again bandying another Affordable Care Act repeal and replace proposal, and in this one pre-existing conditions will stand before a true death panel, as having one will become an actual death sentence for many people.
Think not? Think that is just hyperbole? Think again.
Two stories made their way into the newsfeeds yesterday, dovetailing in such a way that even the most ardent Trump supporting, MAGA hat wearing dullard should be able to see the dangers.
Should.
The first had its genesis in a CNN interview between Jake Tapper and Alabama Republican congressman Mo Brooks who stated that those who have "done the things to keep their bodies healthy" and “people who lead good lives” do not have pre-existing conditions.
Look around you, give that a solid moment to sink in, and think about the people in your life - co-workers, relatives, friends - who are “people who lead good lives” yet are also people who face horrendous health struggles despite their best efforts. People who eat right, work out, don't smoke, don't drink, yet who are diagnosed with cancer (my brother-in-law). People who do all those things yet who are found to have an aneurysm just waiting to explode in their heads and wipe them off the face of the earth (my mom). People who have struggled their whole lives to help their bodies only to finally be diagnosed with brain tumors (my best friend). People who take every precaution while pregnant yet deliver a child who is severely compromised (my friends).
In this life it is pretty much impossible to not know or be related to someone who, through no fault of their own, find themselves battling their bodies on some front.
Under the new proposal, these people will not be able to find or afford health coverage. Do you grasp that? Mo doesn't.
His callous, ignorant comments came just before late night talk show host, Jimmy Kimmel, decided to bare his soul to his audience and the world, by discussing the nightmare through which he and his wife have been walking: their beautiful baby boy, born just over a week ago, was discovered to have serious heart complications requiring immediate surgery, and multiple surgeries to come.
I would like Mo to explain to me just what hijinks that precious baby was getting up to in utero that make him some health neglecting renegade who falls outside the “people who lead good lives” category?
THAT BABY TOOK HIS FIRST BREATHS WITH A PRE-EXISTING CONDITION.
As Kimmel shared their story, he made it clear that while he and his wife can afford to do whatever is necessary to keep their child alive, they are the exception, not the rule. He understands that not everyone is a TV celebrity with a huge income and who, even without any insurance, could snap his fingers and call upon the best doctors available.
This is the complete opposite of Mo Brooks. This is privilege in action on Brooks's part. So he has no current health threats and is safe in knowing that even if they get this bullshit passed, his healthcare is not affected - those cagey legislators being careful to write in the language that they do not lose pre-existing coverage. So because something does not threaten to touch his life, it must not be a real concern? THAT is how we got Trump in the White House. Millions of people feeling great about voting for him as he targeted group after group because they did not inhabit any of those groups. Guess what, poor ignorant Trump voters? You, or someone you care about, are going to die. Because this legislation will touch you, and will use that touch to push your ass away from the doctors who can currently help you.
Kimmel has tons of privilege, too. The difference is he knows it, and yet still has the humanity to advocate for those who do not. That is where the stark difference revealed in this election exists. This is not a difference of politics, it is a difference in humanity.
Kimmel spoke from the heart, tears filling his eyes,
“We were brought up to believe that we live in the greatest country in the world, but until a few years ago, millions and millions of us had no access to health insurance at all. You know, before 2014, if you were born with congenital heart disease, like my son was, there’s a good chance you’d never be able to get health insurance, because you had a pre-existing condition.” And if your parents didn’t have insurance, he added, “You may not even live long enough to get denied because of your pre-existing condition. If your baby is going to die and it doesn’t have to, it shouldn’t matter how much money you make. I think that’s something that whether you’re a Republican or a Democrat or something else, we all agree on that, right?”
Think about that last sentence there. So, you voted for Trump, still proudly wear your MAGA hat, and openly disparage any number of groups of people not like you. I have news for you - when it comes to your body, you ARE just like everyone else. Your frail, imperfect, likely-to-malfunction-at-some-point body is just like mine. Just like the Muslims you hate. Just like the Hispanics you threaten. Just like the LGBTQIA human beings you refuse to support. Pregnant under that White Nationalist t-shirt? Do you really think your bullshit notion of supremacy makes your unborn child immune to birth defects?
Kimmel continued, “We need to make sure that the people who represent us, and people are meeting about this right now in Washington, understand that very clearly. Let’s stop with the nonsense. This isn’t football. There are no teams. We are the team. It’s the United States. Don’t let their partisan squabbles divide us on something every decent person wants. We need to take care of each other. No parent should ever have to decide if they can afford to save their child’s life. It just shouldn’t happen. Not here.”
He is 100% right. And if you roll your eyes at his impassioned plea for healthcare sanity, it is because you currently enjoy a privilege you do not even understand. Everyone you love healthy? Great. As long as you also understand the addition of these two words: RIGHT NOW. You have no idea what is quietly bubbling in you, your child, your parents, your friends.
Here is a list taken from a Blue Cross Blue Shield website prior to the ACA forcing insurance companies to accept those with "pre-existing conditions". Look through the list and see how many apply to you or someone you know:
AIDS
Alcoholism/Alcohol Abuse (within 7 years)
Angioplasty
Aortic Stenosis
Arteriosclerotic Heart Disease
Ascites (within 5 years)
Bi-Polar Disorder
Boecks Sarcoidosis
By-pass surgery
Cancer (other than skin cancer)/Malignant Melanoma²
Cerebral Vascular Accident
Cerebral Vascular Disease
Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease (if currently smoking)
Chronic Pancreatitis
Chronic Renal Failure
Cirrhosis of Liver
Coronary Heart Disease
Cushing’s Syndrome
Cystic Fibrosis
Diabetes (managed with any type of medication)
Drug Addiction/Abuse (within 5 years)
Fatty Liver (hepatic steatosis) (fully recovered with normal lab results for minimum of 6 months)
Grand Mal Epilepsy (within 5 years)
Heart Attack
Height and Weight (see chart)
Hemodialysis/Peritoneal Dialysis
Hemophilia
HIV
Hodgkins Disease
Huntington’s Chorea
Immune Deficiency Syndrome
Leukemia (within 7 years)
Liver Atrophy
Lupus Erythematosus (Systemic)
Multiple Neurofibromatosis (within 7 years)
Multiple Sclerosis
Muscular Dystrophy
Myasthenia Gravis
Myocardial Infarction
Nephrosclerosis
Organic Brain Disorder
Pacemaker
Paget’s Disease
Parkinson’s Disease
Pending surgery of any kind
Peripheral Vascular Disease
Polycystic Kidney
Pregnancy (current)
Psychotic Disorder
Rheumatic Heart Disease
Stroke
Systemic Scleroderma
Tetralogy of Fallot
Transient Ischemic Attack (within 5 years)
Organ Transplants
Valve Replacement
Are you fat? Underweight according to some chart? (This literally just happened to Culley a week ago when she applied for life insurance. Her height/weight, which are perfectly great, enviable even, were tagged as not and she was going to be denied.) Fat or thin - both pre-existing conditions. You son bleeds without end when he gets a cut? Too bad, so sad, pre-existing condition. Your teenager is battling depression? Cheer up and have him go do some yoga or something. If you just wait 365 days they will cover him.
That is how it worked before the ACA took hold.
Healthcare is a basic, basic thing we all need. At some point in our lives, we are going to malfunction. Whether it is a stroke, a failing organ, cancer on our skin, or an outside influence like a car accident, mass shooting, or even a sports related injury - we all will eventually face the need for medical intervention and the very real possibility of bankruptcy because of it. Even with insurance, a single, unexpected health crisis can bankrupt a family.
Now think about that in the face of no health insurance.
Right now, people with diabetes, people with insurance to help with their medication, are seeing their out-of-pockets jump by hundreds of dollars with absolutely no change in condition, or insurance. Just jumping because the company can avail itself of your desire to not die and their desire for bigger bonuses.
If Republicans are allowed to pass this heinous bill, how will people afford to stay alive? The answer is simple. They won't be able to afford to stay alive. And that is patently wrong.
My friend should not be actively researching moving out of this country in order to have a better chance of staying alive. But she is. Because if GOPers like Mo Brooks have their way, everything about her is a pre-existing condition, and without insurance, a death sentence.
I would like Sarah Palin to explain how THIS is not her "death panels" being brought to reality. How this, if enacted, won't affect her small child who was born with Down Syndrome?
And how, if Jimmy Kimmel were just some mechanic from Alabama and not a rich talk show host, would he be able to save his newborn baby.
People are literally dying for healthcare in this country. What we have is not perfect, we know that. But what they are proposing is certain death for many.
The majority of us are “people who lead good lives." But as the bumper sticker says: SHIT HAPPENS. How willing are you to risk one day coming before their death panels?
To quote Kimmel, "We need to take care of each other." We are better than this. And now is the time to show it.
Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness are simply meaningless words on old parchment if we citizens cannot afford to stay healthy enough to enjoy them.
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