Sports Shillustrated

It's back. 

Rearing its glorious ass head like flower that has been trapped beneath the frozen tundra all winter.  Springing forth with all the exuberance of a turgid penis unsheathed from its skidmarked confines baby lamb into the sunshine. 

The Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition.

OY.

I admit I have never understood the issue.  It's not sports.  Unless masturbation is now sanctioned by the IOC.  (I can just see the winners ascending the podium to get their medals.  One arm all big and bulging.  Palms calloused and bloody.  Knees weak, eyes sunken from dehydration.  Uniform a little crusty...)

I'm not a prude, but come on.  Can they at least call it what it is?  Soft core porn.  Playboy light.  The shilling of nudity for profit.  Tits and ass and a little sports reporting between the soon to be stuck together pages.

I usually just roll my eyes as it is rolled out with all its fanfare.  WHO made the cover?  WHERE did they shoot? 

Answers:  Another stunning tropical locale.  Another glorious, long haired lovely that 99.999% of the men in this world would never be able to even approach, much less get.

But it's not about reality - we ladies can tell you this.  No woman, unless they are getting paid a lot, is happy to roll around and get sand up her yutz.  No lady sunbathes with her back arched like a tightly strung bow.  And while that body painting is actually an artform, no one you know is going to show up on the beach or by the neighborhood pool with her breasts Picassoed with your favorite sports team logo.

But dream on.  That's what it is about.  Sneak into the bathroom with the issue.  Give the Victoria's Secret catalog a much earned rest.  No harm, no foul.

Or is there?

Methinks this time there might be.

This is the new cover.

Not one, as usual, but three tight rears, come hither glances, flawless flesh against blue water.  And no tops.  Who needs a top when you've got your two besties to assgrab and smile with?

The problem here is the message.  I can practically guarantee that shot will be replicated endlessly over spring break.  Girls who see it, whose already low self esteem (where they believe their worth is measured by their cup size and ability to wear a thong) will pose just like this, and share it with the world.

Because it must be ok, right?  Right?  Sports Illustrated has it on the cover!  And SI is a legtitimate legitimate magazine. 

Like it or not, there is a current war on women.  Conservative politicians are hellbent on reducing us down to our nasty parts and legislating what we can/cannot do with our own bodies.  We are daily called whores for wanting birth control.  (Seriously, if Rush called Sandra Fluke a whore, what does he make of these models on SI?  Rhetorical question.  I am sure he is fine with them, and will sing their praises with one hand...)  Told we cannot control our libidos.  They write laws requiring transvaginal dildoing and they don't even know what the word transvaginal means.  We are sluts on the prowl to them.  In their minds men are completely acquitted of any behavior because well, you know, women.

So we fight back.  We stand up with intelligence, honor, FACTS.  We try to educate the ignorant old white men who hold court and sign bills they don't understand into laws that don't affect them.

We try to raise our daughters to understand their worth.  That their bodies are THEIRS.  That they are smart, strong, capable. 

I have three daughters.  21, 20, 17.  They are all gorgeous creatures.  That is not a mom's prejudiced opinion.  These girls all turn heads.  They are self assured.  They are confident.  They are smarter than you.

They also don't take half naked selfies and send them to guys or post them online.  They don't Snapchat their boobs.  They don't lead with their looks.  This is precisely why they have dated very little.  They do not reek of desperation and body spray.  They do not dress like pole dancers, although they all have the bodies to take up the profession.  They do not even entertain a conversation with a guy who leers, or attempts some ridiculous pick up line.

Culley and Carson both wore bikinis on our recent cruise. I watched a bunch of older men salivate over Culley at the beach one day. My thought? You couldn't hold your own in one sentence with her.  Another younger guy asked her out for a drink one night.  Um, not even.  She felt him leering from another table every night at dinner.

They did not come out of a box like this.  It has taken years of effort, reinforcement, and them continually disgusted by their peers.  Example:  I took a great picture of Culley and Rudy at dinner on the cruise. She was holding Kendall's laminated head in her lap. Really cute picture, but even Culley said don't post it. Rudy is pointing at Ken's head but it looks like he is pointing at Culley's boob.

They just KNOW what is wrong.  What will be taken wrong.

And yes, I am a huge advocate that it is ultimately a parent's responsibility to teach, guide, and monitor their children as they grow.  If they take a naked selfie, that Smartphone should be turned into a dumb paperweight,  But one cannot deny the influence and daily presence of media in their lives.  And the messaging is everywhere, and it is constant.

And yes, I know some will grouse that I am just a prude or jealous or some other BS, but that's so far from the truth. I look just fine in a bathing suit, thankyouverymuch, even standing beside Culley who is a goddess, and Carson who is nothing but muscles, with everything firm and taut.  Hell, I do so many squats a day that I could replicate that cover with my daughters.  And I think the girls on the cover are beautiful.  I am sure they are thrilled, as models, to have scored the coveted spot.

So, no, it's not jealousy.  It's common sense.  It's dignity.  It's attempting to raise three women in a world where they are not truly valued, where they are called whores by their elected officials, and where they are at risk simply walking down a street.

Sports Illustrated will sell millions of copies.  Their coffers will overflow from shilling tits and ass.  Mission accumplished accomplished.

But honestly, the only thing they have illustrated here is that we still have so very long to go.  And that as parents, our job just keeps getting harder.

Comments

[Joanne]

How much photoshop was used in that cover? I suspect quite a bit. I'm glad my daughter is grown, but she has a daughter of her own now and she gets to raise her in the toxic environment of now. The 90s weren't nice to my kids and it just get worse year after year.

[Katy]

I hear you. For all the steps forward women attempt to make, it only takes one (or three in this case) to set us back. And I agree with you, they are beautiful, sexy, FLAWLESS. But what has it got to do with Sports except selling MILLIONS of copies?

[Glittergirl_Tx]

My friend, a Pediatrician, was recently telling me how many 9 and 10 year old little girls she sees who are wearing thong underwear. Unbelievable and terribly sad. When I was 9 I was still wearing Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday underwear.

[Chicky]

I have a child who comes in the child center, she is 9 years old, and wears a padded training bra... The first time I was there with her, I turned to my coworker , Vicki, and asked her if that child had breasts...Vicki said that she is promiscuous, I asked her if she meant precocious, and she said, "no, she flirts with all the boys"....ugh, it grosses me out, but what grosses me out more is that she is home schooled, and she comes in with her two younger sisters who I know are going to turn out exactly like her. I don't think it's my place to say anything to her momma, but dammit if I don't have to bite my tongue when I speak to her.

And Jennifer? Yeah, she is adorable!

[Nikki in NYC]

It's getting harder to raise boys too. There has been a sharp increase in eating disorders and body issues in boys. They too are feeling pressured to look and be a certain way. I think childhood as we knew it is on its way out. Keep fighting the good fight, moms and dads, for all your kids.

[Jennifer]

We are working hard to teach Madison to value herself for her brains and not the fact that she is adorable. (Not being egotistical but the child is a cutie!) one of the hardest thing we are dealing with these days is the move from the toddler department to the girls department. Who decided that little girls need to be dressed like teenagers?!?! Inappropriately dressed ones at that! Why??? It has been impossible to find appropriate swimwear so my sister is making the girls swimsuits this year. 5/6/7/8 year olds do NOT need to be in tiny bikinis!!! Hell, 9/10/1/12/etc. don't need to be either.

We've come a long way, baby, but not near far enough. *sigh*