Reality TV is both a blessing and a curse.
It is a blessing to those willing to whore themselves out on a national program in order to line their pockets.
It is a curse in that it allows those willing to whore themselves out on a national program in order to line their pockets a forum in which to run their maws.
From the worthless Jersey Shore drunkards to the famous-for-no-discernable-reason Kardashians, reality TV is the go to for vegging out on the couch. It is the TV equivalent of the Enquirer, Star, and Globe. It is what you would watch on the toilet if your bathroom had a TV. It is mindless, crass, and made up of the same stuff you deposit in the toilet in your bathroom.
Anyone who thinks reality TV has a higher purpose other than a bottom line is delusional. Networks do not put Honey Boo Boo on TV because she can teach us all something. Andy Cohen doesn't churn out coven after coven of surgically enhanced housewives because they are curing cancer. The Bachelor hot tub is not constantly rechlorinated because true love is found in its human stew.
These shows exist because they make money. Network execs know exactly how shallow is the viewing public and they exploit that salacious lust for ratings, advertisers, MONEY.
Honey Boo Boo, Toddlers & Tiaras, Sister Wives, Basketball Wives, every Real Housewives fanchise, Survivor, Vanderpump Rules, Shahs of Sunset, Breaking Amish - the list goes on and on - all get prime time real estate because we will watch. We love to watch other people acting badly.
We revel in passing judgement and feeling better about ourselves because we would never throw a raging, expletive laden, drunken hissy fit over who rolled their eyes at us at the last dinner party.
We laugh at a family so intellectually dim that they need subtitles added to the screen so we can understand their recipe for "skettie."
And the dollars roll in.
Networks are constantly on the lookout for the odd, the offbeat, the contentious, the "out there," the absurd, the whorish, the stupid. So it was no big surprise when A&E plucked a bearded bunch of rednecks out of obscurity and gave them their own show: Duck Dynasty.
It wasn't because these people are putting out a product never before seen on this earth. It's a duck call for God's sake. It wasn't because they are brilliant Mensa members. And it certainly wasn't because they are bettering the planet through constant philanthrophy or anonymous good works.
It's because they look like they do. Talk like they do. Behave like they do.
Nothing more, nothing less. If these folk were clean shaven businessmen running a duckcall business, there would be no TV show for them.
I know this because for the past eight years I have been on the receiving end of queries for reality TV for myself and/or my family. And it never pans out - for two reasons:
1. We are either way too normal (read: we are smart and speak in clear, coherent sentences, love each other, don't pick our noses and fart in public, and have normal body types).
or
2. I refuse to whore my family out for $$.
But back to those who are willing...
Duck Dynasty has made "stars" out of those bearded men and their families. "Stars" being a very loose term these days. Millions of Christmas trees this year will have some form of DD giftage under them. Bobbleheads, books, pillows, DVDs, board games, calendars, Tshirts, glasses, cookbooks - the marketing machine has been in full churn mode, producing anything and everything to capitalize on this phenomenon before it burns out - which it will. Think of the Duck Dynasty clan as human Pet Rocks.
But while it is still white hot (in reality TV terms), those on the show will rake in money, endorsements, TV spots, and interviews.
Which brings us to the GQ article in which Phil Robertson, founder of the Duck Commander company, and patriarch of the clan, shared his views on all manner of things, including homosexuality.
On the surface Phil is a good ol' boy. Nothing wrong with that. But Phil is also an unabashed Bible banger. And that is where things do take a turn.
The folks on the show (which is not as "real" as it seems as most scenes are scripted in advance) are unabashed Christians - again, nothing wrong with that when kept in perspective and place - in fact, that is where much of their viewership comes from.
But when fame begins to cloud real reality, and those breathing its heady fumes begin to think that what they have to say is actually gospel and should matter, well, that would be how Phil is finding himself on the receiving end of societal retribution - which may not be as scary as the kind of retribution they preach in church, but has more immediate and lasting repercussions.
This nugget is being shown in every article regarding his scandal: “It seems like, to me, a vagina—as a man—would be more desirable than a man’s anus. That’s just me. I’m just thinking: There’s more there! She’s got more to offer. I mean, come on, dudes! You know what I’m saying? But hey, sin: It’s not logical, my man. It’s just not logical.”
It is being highlighted, and rightfully so, for it completely encapsulates the narrow thinking and laser focus on the ONE aspect of homosexuality that give he and his ilk the oogies. The sex part.
That thinking allows them to marginalize, demean, and inhibit the rights of anyone who does not screw like them.
“Start with homosexual behavior and just morph out from there. Bestiality, sleeping around with this woman and that woman and that woman and those men.”
Again, focus on the SEX because that's ALL there is to homosexuals. It's not like they are human beings who bleed, think, read, watch TV, shop, eat, pray, and love like anyone else. Seriously, to listen to so many "Christians" you would think that gay people do nothing but fuck. That way. You know, THAT WAY.
Hey Phil, lots of us heteros have fucked THAT WAY, too. What do you make of us?
Phil's judgement passing is laughable considering his seriously checkered and criminal past. But he is "born again" so none of it matters. He doesn't "dredge anything back up. I just put it behind me.”
Oh, how convenient. You say you're a better man so it's so? Wrong. You were given a forum in GQ, based on your "fame" and the world is seeing just what a "great" man you have become by hiding behind "Jesus."
That whole "Judge not lest ye be judged" thing is completely lost on him, as it is on so many who run to church on Sundays then emerge to pass judgement on others all week long.
But that's ok, it makes it easier to turn the tables and pass some judgement on Phil and his Chik fil-A eating ilk. Like the Russian actor who last week publicly claimed about gays, "I would have them all stuffed inside an oven. This is Sodom and Gomorrah, as a believer, I can not remain indifferent to this, it is a living danger to my children!"
How? I find it a far bigger living danger that your children are being raised to view others as less than human, disposable, something which should be exterminated a la the Holocaust.
To call these views reprehensible is being generous. They are heinous, vile, sickening. So the fallout from the GQ article has been predictable. We are a nation, a global community that is rapidly changing in its view, treatment, and sharing of equality with LGBT people. It is long overdue, shamefully late to the table, and those of us with truly open minds and hearts uncluttered by Biblical rhetoric have no time or patience for the Phils of this world.
They are wrong. They are cruel. They are willfully ignorant. And they are cowards, hiding behind the robes of a man who, when he walked this earth, was known to LOVE and ACCEPT all comers. Jesus was, by all accounts, the original socialist, hippie love child.
That, like the fact that Jesus was - let's be gentle here - BROWN - is something conveniently lost on the Phils and FOX news hostesses of the world.
But Phil and Megyn Kelly are allowed their views. They are allowed to use their access to media to espouse them. Their free speech is right there in all our faces.
But then it gets a little muddy for them because people like me stand up and loudly state MY views which are at cross purposes with theirs and suddenly their free speech knickers get in a wad.
Enter the Idiot-In-Chief, Sarah Palin who took to Twitter to defend poor, beleaguered Phil.
“Free speech is an endangered species. Those ‘intolerants’ hatin’ and taking on the Duck Dynasty patriarch for voicing his personal opinion are taking on all of us.”
Endangered species, huh? And her likeminded, equally ignorant followers believe her. Facebook newsfeeds are blowing up with memes supporting her and Phil and whining that somehow his free speech is being inhibited.
How?
He got to say exactly what he thinks. The government did not shoot him in the face or throw him in jail for espousing his Bible laden bigotry. THAT means his free speech is doing just fine.
He is FREE to opine at length. Just as others are FREE to use their right to stand up to him and loudly disagree.
See how that free speech door swings both ways, Sarah? He is free to run his maw till the ducks come home, but that does not mean with impunity. That does not mean I am not allowed to run mine in disagreement.
And that does not mean that A&E can't make the decision to stop filming him. Which they have.
A&E is not stupid. They know who is on the wrong side of history here - politically, societally, and in all ways related to true humanity. And they know that backing a bigot, regardless of his equally unenlightened fanbase, is $tupid.
Can that fanbase turn on A&E? Sure. But like the Million Moms on Facebook (which has never broken out of "thousands") who tried to take down JC Penney, good luck with that. You are outnumbered, and it won't matter how many Bibles you bang, or how much you cherry pick your book, you will not turn the tide of true HUMANS who understand that it is simply wrong to marginalize others based on how they were born.
My heterosexuality is not threatened by someone being homosexual. My marriage isn't disintegrating because Neil Patrick Harris and David Burtka are in love. My parenting isn't diminished because they are raising two beautiful children. And my daughters won't suddenly become lesbians because Ellen and Portia are married.
People are who they are. And their sexuality is just one small piece of the person pie. It does not define me any more than it defines my LGBT friends. What defines a person is their treatment of others. And in that respect, those "hate the sin, love the sinner" people fail miserably. They don't "love the sinner" because in that simple, misguided statement that they use to defend themselves, they are judging someone as a sinner for simply being who they were born to be.
Here's a simple challenge for you. Tomorrow, wake up and be gay. If being gay is a choice, make it. Walk a mile in their shoes, hell, fuck a mile since that is what you people distill homosexuality down to anyway.
What's that? You can't CHOOSE to be gay because you are straight?
EXACTLY.
Now go apply that simple logic to your bigotry and brainwashing. Get out of your church and truly into the light.
But back to poor, free speech endangered Phil.
The one good thing to come out of his interview? This: “Let’s face it,” he says. “Three, four, five years, we’re out of here. You know what I’m saying? It’s a TV show. This thing ain’t gonna last forever. No way.”
THANK GOD.
Recent Comments