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« It's Lori's Day! | Main | Catching Up »

Wednesday, October 16, 2013


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Something else to consider, and another reason to check your children's accounts, phones, emails, etc. Maybe your child is the bully, but maybe they are the bull-EE too. It's for darn sure that if your child is doing something wrong, they're not telling you, but it's also very likely that if your child is the victim, they could be hiding it from you. Hopefully as a parent you would notice a marked change in behavior, but again, maybe not always.

I don't know what happened in the case of the little girl in FL. Whether her parents knew this was going on or not - luckily the TX gals parents did. And I am NOT blaming the FL girls parents. But I am sure there are some circumstances where the parents don't know what is happening, and could be helping their child who is being victiimzed in some way - be it bullies, sexual pressure from a date, issues with drugs, predators, etc. Or your child may not be the actor or the target or involved directly, but they may know something that would help some other child. Rarely is bullying an act of solitude - it craves an audience, and the same goes when the sexts and raunchy photos and rape-crew videos get disseminated to the entire football team or school. There could be 100's of kids with knowledge, even if just as bystanders.

Everyone needs to keep an eye on what their child is doing. Because for every child sending a threat, a text, an email, etc., there's another one on the end receiving it.

I, like so many, was bullied in school over the years - thankfully I got over it. I don't know what made me or any of us who survived those years strong enough to endure, but thankfully the terrible outcomes are few. But for those few and their loved ones, it's an outrage, a pain that nobody should endure.

Unfortunately, a lot of parents teach their children to feel entitled, to be better than everyone else, that it's okay to look down on others. The behavior that leads to the bullying starts at home, is encouraged at home, and if law enforcement would start holding these ridiculous parents responsible in some way for the behavior of their children, it would perhaps deter some of the behavior.

Frankly, I just don't get it. Never will.

I hope to hell those two morons who got arrested get fried for their behavior. I find it appalling that the parents are trying to claim the facebook was hacked and their lil angels would never ever behave badly. I applaud the sheriff for outing them. And I hope they learn something from it. High hopes I know. But they need to learn; actions have consequences.

Junior High was horrible for me too - I was a skinny kid with dirty hair (I don't know why my hair always seemed dirty, but it seems that was why the bully guy always picked on me...don't remember his name)...Anyway, I blossomed in High School - I got boobs, I filled out a little, my hair was curly and shiny every day, and I liked myself (hard thing for a teenager to admit)...That boy who was always mean to me became the popular boy in high school - he was a football player and all the kids looked up to him - so, being popular as well, he of course asked me out - in front of a bunch of his friends in the commons at school...I looked at him and said, "No Thanks", and walked away. From then on, I became the hero of my school...

This never happened - I was an outcast and I dreamt of this all the time - but sadly, for me, I didn't actually blossom until after high school, so the boys and girls who were shitty to me never found out. I passed on all the reunions - My 40th reunion is coming up in 2018 - who knows, I might just have to show up just to see if the popular boy got fat and bald, and the mean girls got fat and old...

I was unhappy in junior high and high school too. There was always two or three girls who really made me miserable. It doesn't take much. Be a little chunky, wear braces, don't think like them (as if they ever have a worthwhile thought in their heads!) I can only imagine how much more horrible it is today. For boys too. I worry about my nephew who will be leaving the cocoon of his elementary school for middle school next year. He is a sensitive kid and I worry he will be a target.

I too went thru hell in Jr. High. From the moment I got to the bust stop all the way to school. Until one day I got one of the little bastards in the back seat of the bus & beat the crap out of him. Yes, the bus driver was on the bus...but I'm sure he knew my reaction was justified because he made no move to intervene. That was 45 years ago & I still remember the bus driver's name..he passed away a few weeks ago & I teared up reading the obit in the paper.

I am so thankful that my boys got thru high school before texting, Facebook and all of the other technological ways to torment someone was around. We did have the internet tho...and there were no passwords allowed & the rule was there had better be history when I went to check to see what they had been accessing!!!!

Reading these horrific tales of bullying gone crazy thanks the the internet takes me back down nightmare memory lane. I do NOT look at my junior high/senior high years with fondness. I was isolated. People picked on me for what reason I never fully understood but I did not fit in. I tried to believe me but even those I thought I would maybe have something in common with treated me like crap. Boys would jokingly ask me to the upcoming dance in front of others in the class to get a laugh out of my answer (guess they thought I was gullible too as I knew they were only asking to get me to look stupid and laugh at me). I threw my junior high yearbooks away a few years back as they only made me upset and angry. Some boys got hold of them when I had given my yearbooks to others to sign who I thought were at least not my enemy...and they wrote mean nasty comments without of course signing their name.

I wish at times my step-dad had never gotten a new job back in Washington state as the 1 year we lived in Vicksburg MS when I was in 5th grade was the best year ever in school for me. I was one the the "in" group of kids...I was a cheerleader for the pop warner team from my grade school (yes there was a team for the boys in my grade school..the south takes sports seriously). I played on the girls soccer team and we went to the state playoffs and to the regional tournament in Memphis TN. Then we moved to Washington and I never fit in at the first school while living with my mom and step-dad. I was miserable so I requested to go live with my dad...and at first things were great. Got invited to a slumber party by another girl in my class and it was fun. I made two good friends and then over the summer one year...those friends stopped being my friend...just like that.

I have only gone to ONE reunion (my 10 year) and only because I wanted to show them I WAS worthwhile and I could find a partner who loved me. So I took my then BF (now husband) because of the wounds and baggage I carried from school. I have no desire to go to another one. Those people were not nice and maybe they are now...but the wounds caused by that time still haunt me.

I cannot imagine if the kids I went to school and treated me like dirt had access to something like Facebook, Twitter etc....what hell I would have been living.

As usual, well said Linda! You hit the nail on the head...again!

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