Don't Get Me Started with Linda Sharp

1D, 3D, OMG - Just ENJOY

Like the tides that roll in and roll out, mega popular boy bands will always flow in and out of the musical ocean and onto the shores of pop culture.  Some will be small waves like 98 Degrees; some will be surfer sized waves a la The Beach Boys, Hanson, The Jonas Brothers.

And every now and the ocean floor will shift and a tsunami of love, adoration, and hysteria will overtake the globe.

In my parenting career that has meant NSYNC, the Backstreet Boys, and now One Direction.

I have sat front row with Culley at a BSB concert.  I flew Kendall across the country to be close enough to reach out and touch NSYNC in concert.  And a full year ago I watched as Carson and her BFF, Ophelie, shelled out their own big $$$ to snag two third row seats to see One Direction in Houston last month. 

I "get" it.

I may not be 13 wearing Bonne Belle on my lips and glitter in my hair, but I have been 13 and have not lost touch with how it felt to see The Bay City Rollers on Tiger Beat (oh, Derek), or to fantasize about being the object of Shaun Cassidy's Da-do-ron-ronning. 

(Holy Mary, Mother of Plaid...did I really lust THIS??)

I became aware of One Direction long before their fanbase grew like crabgrass on steroids, overtaking the globe.  Kendall brought them into our home when they were still only known in the UK from their stint on X Factor.  Carson quickly jumped on board and was watching their video diaries and every snippet of You Tube 1D available.

I liked them immediately.  Their story is the stuff that made American Idol what it once was.  That magical, stars-all-aligned, Joe-public-has-a-hand-in-it pull from obscurity to fame.

Five normal guys who auditioned for X Factor as solo singers.  Five normal guys who tried their best, but when the final cuts came down on the boys side, they were left "gutted."

Fast forward 10 minutes.  Literally.  Simon Cowell decided in the space of ten minutes - the time from them being cut and crying backstage to him having them pulled, still in tears - to throw them together and have them compete on X Factor as a group.

By his own admission, even as good as he is at predicting success, spying the "it" in a performer, he could never have known what he set in motion in those serendipitious 600 seconds.

They went on to perform each week.  Making video diaries, being goofy, and becoming five "mates" who were able to sing together and move forward in the competition.

Their fan base grew exponentially each week.

Did they win?  No.  At least not the X Factor.

They may have lost the prize, but their fans demanded more One Direction.  If ever there was a grassroots effort to propel a music group, this was it.  By virtue of Twitter and all manner of social media, their UK fans spread the word, spread the love.  Before there was even an album, there was a voracious appetite waiting to devour one.

What happened next is that tsunami. 

Five guys making infectious pop, tear inducing ballads, and topping every chart they hit.  Posters in bedrooms, ringtones on phones, tshirts declaring devotion.  And selling out a 2013 tour before the 2012 tour had truly commenced.  2014 is already in motion and selling out, too.

I enjoy them.  I make no excuses or apologies.  I don't hide behind "Oh, I have no choice because my girls like them."  I genuinely like the songs they put out.

Just like you might jones over old Three Dog Night, Metallica, or Eminem or Imagine Dragons. It's all a matter of preference.  My not "getting" your love for Tim McGraw doesn't mean he sucks or you are stupid.  It means I enjoy a different sound.

I just returned from a viewing with Carson of One Direction:  This Is Us, the new movie about the boys.

IT. WAS. AWESOME.

Seriously, I tapped my toes, laughed, and smiled all the way through. 

For those of you who don't "get" One Direction, here is my take on why they have such an immense fandom. 

There is nothing slick or perfectly packaged about them or their concerts.  Yes, there is a well oiled machine that gets them from A to B to C, but there is no NSYNC choreography, nothing overly handled or manipulated, no one taking themselves too seriously.  In fact, they don't dance.  Their choreographer lost that battle early on.  Their choreography is best likened to a soccer game.  They know their area, their marks, but if one makes an overlapping run, another slides in to cover that space.  The rest they make up from show to show, leaving room for fun, laughter, hijinks - an air of unpredictability that fans love.

These guys are goofs.  They are funny.  They are all very different and they all know they fell backassward into luck.  They do not take it for granted.  And they are also all aware it will not last forever.

And therein lies the magic.  They remain, despite the mountains of security that must now protect them from the overzealousness this kind of fame brings with it, "accessible" to their fans. 

Oh, and they can all SING.  Not with backing tracks, not lip syncing - they SING.  Carson was most blown away by that during the concert - they sound as good live as on her ipod.  And they somehow manage to make a venue with 20,000, 30,000, 65,000 people feel like a house party.

There are interviews scattered throughout the movie in which the guys candidly talk about how they could not do this without each other.  They are best friends, not just coworkers.  In one scene as they sat around a campfire during some rare downtime they spoke of how they are living the best times of their lives right now  - so young - and how surreal that is.  It was Liam who hoped that it will be like a Benjamin Button scenario - kind of living backwards - where they had this amazing life and all these experiences now and that life will eventually slow down and become normal with wives and children.  Louis talks about how it will just be cool for their fans to one day tell their daughters about how "One Direction was MY boy band when I was your age."

I guess what I am trying to explain is that these guys are not full of shit, and certainly not full of themselves.  That's what there is to "get."  That is their appeal.

For those of you who are dreading being "dragged" to see this movie with your daughter, niece, grandchild - WALK IN WILLINGLY.  Hell, listen to some of their songs beforehand.  And then leave your tight ass at the door.  Let your inner 16 year old out to play.  If you do that, you will have a blast.

And to the reviewers already dipping their pens in poison, these boys don't take themselves half as seriously as you obviously do, so lighten up, Francis.  Your derision, faux criticism, and selective memory about the follies of your own youth are only going to make the flames of fandom burn brighter.  Remember, it's not the boys who compare themselves to the Beatles.  That's YOU. 

These guys know they are just guys.  In fact, that is what Louis wants everyone to one day look back and remember when the hysteria has died away...

"They were just normal guys but terrible, terrible dancers."

Don't worry, Louis.  We won't for"get' it. :)

Same Love - Love Same - Love Is Love Is Love

I have not gotten tired of this song, and I honestly don't think I can ever love this song enough.  Maybe because I love the message so much, love the people it touches so much, and love the hope it gives for where we are slowly moving our global collective conscience.

2013 VMA - Artists.MTV - Music - Macklemore & Ryan Lewis

The Beginning Of Something Big

Everyone has a dream.  It's part of human nature.  We fantasize about things we want, how we would like our lives to be, places we would love to visit, goals we hope to achieve.

For many, they are content to sit and dream.  Somehow the work they know has to go into the realization of a dream simply seems too big, too scary, too much effort.  Plus, the fear of failure is a formidable enemy to the dreamer.

But for the true dreamers, the ones whose every breath is filtered through their goal - no mountain is too high, no river too wide or deep, and the idea of failure only spurs them on harder to NOT fail.  Bringing their dream to fruition is their passion, their driving force.

Kendall has an amazing friend named Mikah Young.  She is smart, beautiful, and possessed of musical talent that is the stuff of stardom.  Just as Carson doesn't rest and has spent her summer pursuing her dream of collegiate soccer, Mikah's drive is singular, too.  The most recent step closer to the dream found her spending her summer in Oklahoma working on her first EP.  The songs are written, the producer is on board, and the musicians are lined up to back Mikah in the studio.

All that's left is the support to pull it all together.  To that end, Mikah has set up a Kickstarter fund.  I believe in her.  Not simply because she is Kendall's friend.  It just so happens that this incredibly talented, down-to-earth, amazing young woman happens to be Kendall's friend.

Take a few moments to visit her Kickstarter, watch her video, and if you can, donate something to help bring this dream to life. 

I promise, it won't be long until you will be able to say, I WAS THERE.  I HELPED MAKE THIS HAPPEN.

LINK TO DONATE

Going The Extra Miley

MTV execs are surely pissing themselves with glee this morning.

In a world where any and all publicity is GOOD publicity, their Video Music Awards hit it out of the park last night.

Lady Gaga leaving the audience just that - ga ga.

Justin Timberlake serving up a 17 minute parfait of pleasure topped off with the cherry of an all too brief NSYNC reunion.  Seriously, they had barely said hello before they said Bye Bye, Bye.

And then there was Miley.

Oh, Miley, Miley, Miley.

The Twitterverse exploded last night, Facebook comments spewed forth, bloggers began weighing in before the dawn, and video of her "performance" is being viewed at a pretty fast clip.

I'll be honest, I don't watch awards shows anymore.  I can catch the performances I want to see the next day and the list of winners is posted in real time online. 

And when it comes to last night?  Breaking Bad and The Newsroom trumped any interest I had in watching hours of ego masturbation and bad sartorial choices.

So this morning, I woke and watched JT own the event.  Dancing, singing, holding an audience captive with his embarrassment of riches in the talent department.  And when NSYNC rose from below, worked their harmonies like no time had passed, and even threw out the well remembered moves from Bye, Bye, Bye, I cheered.  I also laughed as they cut to One Direction a couple times.  I hope those young lads understand the cautionary tale of that moment.  Monstrous boy band fame does fade, and there will never be a time when all FIVE break out and turn into Timberlakes. 

Save your money and your memories, boys. because before you know it you'll be a contestant on a cooking show standing next to Guy Fieri (Fatone), or doing voice overs singing "My shiny teeth and me." (Kirkpatrick)

Cautionary tales.  Miley sure laid one down last night.

You don't have to have a subscription to US Weekly or People to know she has been hellbent on changing her image and shoving her "edge" in the public's face for roughly a year.  And I get it - to an extent.  She was a "child star,"  A DISNEY child star, no less, with all the baggage that moniker bears.  (That baggage also contains huge amounts of cash, so my understanding does have limits.)

She is growing up.  She wants to ditch the cutesy, sweet innocence of Hannah Montana.  Fine.

But one doesn't need to fondle themselves in public to make us understand you now have tits, or twerk on Robin Thicke to make us aware you have an ass.

Yes, tits and ass, as rude as that sounds, is all she was selling last night.  And she was selling hard.  Think male hooker on Viagra.  Selling HARD.

Look, she is no vocal genius.  At best she is passable and helped tremendously in the studio.  So, yes, like Britany Spears before her, she has to perform more for the eyes than the ears.  But hanging her tongue out like a Lab left in the sun, and constantly grabbing her patent leather crotch do not dance moves make.  It's not that it was offensive, hell, Madonna rolled on a stage in a wedding dress YEARS ago.  It's that IT WASN'T GOOD.

Cut to celebrity audience reactions.

They varied from bored-cannot-be-bothered to WTF? to someone-get-the vaudeville-hook.

I sum it up with "TRYING TOO HARD."

MIley may not have veered off into the drug addled land of Lohan yet, and does not appear to be fighting the of bi-polar bears like Bynes, but she is just as pitiable and laughable.

I know that in a musical land filled with Taylor Swifts, Rihannas, Gagas, and Clarksons it must feel awfully intimidating to know your limitations - and I firmly believe MIley knows she cannot hold a vocal candle to them - but if this is what she believes will set her apart in a positive way?

She's going the extra Miley in the wrong direction.

And Conservatives Think GAYS Threaten The Sanctity Of Marriage?

This is truly one of those "Wow, just wow." kind of moments. This bride gives trash a bad name.

I guess she is just celebrating the sancTITTY of marriage.

Thou Shalt Not Think

The year is 2013.  Hell, we're actually closer to 2014 at this point. 

But if you stick your head into the conservative-religious bubble you would think we're still in the Dark Ages.

More and more these days I find myself feeling sorry for people who have voluntarily left their brains at the church door and walked in, content to be told what to think, what to fear, what to revere.

Actually, "feeling sorry" is not quite what I feel.  No, I think the word I am truly searching for is contempt.  Yes, that is the one.  I feel contempt towards those in politics and religion (and face it, when the two hold hands the narrative of hatred and bigotry is turned up to 11) who hide behind their Bibles, their religious upbringing, their complete refusal to question what they have been taught in their lives.

And yes, people, religion is TAUGHT.  No one hits the cool air post womb knowing about God, Jesus, Allah, Vishnu, et al, any more than a babe cries its first indignant cry about hating a different color/religion/country/sexual identity/people.

These things are taught to you.  By your parents, by your peers, by your pastor or priest or minister.  As you grow, having been indoctrinated - and yes, that IS what religion does - into your particular faith's tenets, commandments, "laws" - you begin to treat the people of the world accordingly.

Unless, that is, you are smart enough to question exactly what it is you have been taught.

Blessed are those who have a bullshitometer and employ it.

Mine turned on when I was roughly 10 years old.  I knew in my gut that what I was being force fed was wrong.  I did not want to go through life believing that by virtue of hand-me-down faith, the one I was TAUGHT, that I was somehow RIGHT, BLESSED, BETTER.

It is why I have not attended church since I left my parents' home.  It is why I believe having a moral compass and being religious are truly mutually exclusive.  I choose to live my life decently, treating others the way I wish to be treated.  With kindness, an open hand not a clenched fist, an open mind not a walled off outlook, with excited expectancy not fear of the unknown.

I am heterosexual.  I don't know why.  I just am.  I don't wake up and have to think about it.  There was never any a-ha moment in my life when it came to me.  I just am.

The same way LGBT people just are. 

They just are PEOPLE.  Like you, like me.  Wanting the same things in life.  Happiness, peace, love.  You know, the basics.

They are not out to fuck you the minute you bend over to tie your shoe.  They are not set on corrupting your kids in the locker room.  And you will not "get the gay" from using the same toilet they do.

But more and more, as people like me push for the rights of LGBT folk, the conservatives and right winged politicos open their mouths to spew their hatred, their bigotry, and their ignorance - all learned at the knee or altar of another.

Take Tim Donnelly, a California politician who has announced he will be pulling his two sons, ages 13 and 16, from public school because a new law allows transgendered students to use the same bathrooms.

Oh, horrors!

Governor Jerry Brown signed bill 1266 into law allowing transgendered students "to participate in sex-segregated programs, activities and facilities" based on their sexual identities, not their genitalia.

I hate to break it to Mr. Donnelly, but transgendered teens are not out to "turn" his sons or cop a feel in the showers.  These teens struggle enough in their day-to-day as it is.  Like any teen, they are living one breath to the next, trying to avoid high school drama, trying to keep the spotlight OFF of themselves.  They simply want to feel NORMAL.  And NORMAL is hard to find when your body matches your mind, how much harder must it be when you are trapped inside a body that does not match how you feel.

But Tim, I, too, think it is a good idea that you pull your precious cherubs.  I don't think transgendered students should be subject to the obvious homeschooling of hatred and ignorance in which your sons have been steeped.  So move along.  Or actually, stay put.  We'll keep moving forward without you, happy to leave you and your likeminded ilk in the dustbin of history.

Let's not leave out Linda Harvey of Mission America who lectured this week that gay people want to "absorb the personality and identity of another person, even someone of the same sex because the vacant feeling inside is so great.”

“When others seem to have meaning and purpose, the feelings of self-pity can be overwhelming."

Seriously?  Every gay and lesbian friend I have is FULL of life, love, fun, committment, desire, and compassion.  They are not Dementoresque soul suckers trying desperately to leech on to another human being to find meaning.  They HAVE meaning.  It's a cretin like Harvey whose only meaning in life is to demean, ostracize, and wipe out that which she has been taught to hate that muck it up for them.

“to absorb the personality and identity of another person, even someone of the same sex because the vacant feeling inside is so great.” “When others seem to have meaning and purpose, the feelings of self-pity can be overwhelming,” - See more at: http://www.rightwingwatch.org/content/harvey-gays-seek-absorb-personality-and-identity-another-person#sthash.w3gnaplz.dpuf

“to absorb the personality and identity of another person, even someone of the same sex because the vacant feeling inside is so great.” “When others seem to have meaning and purpose, the feelings of self-pity can be overwhelming,” - See more at: http://www.rightwingwatch.org/content/harvey-gays-seek-absorb-personality-and-identity-another-person#sthash.w3gnaplz.dpuf

“to absorb the personality and identity of another person, even someone of the same sex because the vacant feeling inside is so great.” “When others seem to have meaning and purpose, the feelings of self-pity can be overwhelming,” - See more at: http://www.rightwingwatch.org/content/harvey-gays-seek-absorb-personality-and-identity-another-person#sthash.w3gnaplz.dpuf

Not to be outdone though, Christian radio broadcasters Kevin Swanson and Dave Buehner, spread their personal brand of homophobia to their listeners using the Boy Scouts as the drum they were recently beating.

Apparently, because the Boy Scouts will now be allowing homosexuals in their ranks, kids will be able to earn merit badges in sodomy!  To be quickly followed by "incest" and "cannibalism."

Oh, how I wish I were making that shit up.

“and pretty soon you’re going to have the sodomy merit badge.”

“And after that, I guess it’s incest,” Swanson agreed. “After that, I guess it’s the cannibal merit badge, where I guess you cut up human flesh, fry it.”

These are the same type brain trusts who love to make that Grand Canyon leap in logic from gay marriage to marrying animals.

Sodomy.  Incest.  Cannibalism. And "I now pronounce you man and llama."

Because it's all the same as being gay, right?

Wrong. 

But it's more than just wrong.  It is morally reprehensible that these people are allowed to spew this garbage over the airwaves.  And it is unforgivable that it is sucked up by their listeners who have Bounty quicker-picker-uppers instead of functioning gray matter. 

Contempt.  It is all I feel for them.

If you believe this shit because some church, book, or individual told you to, then shame on you.  AND FACE IT - THAT IS THE ONLY REASON YOU BELIEVE THIS CRAP.  You have abdicated the brain you were born with and are stupid enough to just sit back and let your life be run by incompetence, fear, and misinformation because some human being holds out the carrot of heaven and the horrors of hell.  How tight is that grip on your mind that you continue to choose to deride or even pity others for being different than you? What are you so afraid of, have been taught to be so afraid of?  What do you think will happen if you just open your mind and begin truly living life as an engaged HUMAN BEING, not a programmed disciple?

And don't give me this "we hate the sin, but love the sinner" bullshit.  YOU.  DO.  NOT.

All you have is hate.  Not love, not a worldview, not acceptance of others, nothing any different than the Westboro Baptist Church.   Hell, I have to give it to them, at least they are HONEST about their hatred.

But lest you think I am intolerant of YOUR chosen beliefs, not true!  I am fine with you choosing to continue to believe what you have been taught to believe, clinging to what you choose to not question - AS LONG AS IT STAYS WHERE IT BELONGS.  And where it belongs is in your church, in your little circles where everyone buys into what you buy into.  It does not belong in the body politic.  It does not belong in any type of governance that is supposed to be of ALL the people, by ALL the people, for ALL the people.

I guess the bottom line is I simply cannot imagine what it is like to live a life driven by fear, hatred, and willful stupidity. 

Then again, I don't follow a commandment that says, "Thou shalt not think."

It's Alisa's Day! (Love You!)

Waiting To Exhale

Life is good right now.

I'd like to think I have not just jinxed it by daring to type that out loud.

When I woke this morning, my heart felt lighter than it has in a long time.  I lay there in the dark, doing what I do every morning - reviewing what the day's schedule holds, pulling from memory any issues to be dealt with, and taking emotional inventory of each person in my family.

And this morning, as opposed to so very many mornings over the past year, I smiled into the darkness.  Right now, in this moment, life is good.

Not good, as in a first-world-my-iphone-is-working or first-world-there-are-no-spiders-in-my-shoes way.  But in the most basic, all-world way - my family is happy.

Rudy had a successful owner's meeting the past two days and was finally able to sleep last night.  Kendall is busily preparing lists for her return to UNT next week and is full of the excited anticipation of her junior year in college.  Carson is submitting her first college application this week, getting closer to defining where the next line on her digital art pad, the next step in her education, the next strike of a soccer ball will take her.

And Culley - Culley is GLOWING. 

As I shared with Pat from Canada yesterday, there simply are not words to describe how this mother's heart feels to see her so engaged, so excited, so full of energy, hope, life.

(Lex helped her find her smile again, and made her realize what love is supposed to feel like.  And with his incredible support, and their plans for their future together, she drove off to this new adventure.)

She is in Orlando, moved into her apartment/dorm, has been to casting at Disney, will fully immerse tomorrow through her Traditions class, and has been "resort hopping" with her new roommates.

THIS is the face I have missed seeing.  The funny, quirky, beautiful one that welcomes new experiences, runs towards life, and cannot wait to learn more and more and more.

And here I sit, almost afraid to move, definitely afraid to exhale, for fear that this precious equilibrium - that we all know to be fragile as spun sugar - can be thrown off so easily.

But then, that is life.  Its breathtaking unpredictability, its turn-on-a-dime quality that keeps each day interesting, its horizon where the unknown resides, and where all things are possible.

I know I will keep holding my breath - that's a mother's lot in life - but right now, it is with a smile on my face put there by the beautiful smiles on the faces of my family.

 

Faith, Trust, and Pixie Dust

Watching her pull out of the driveway, you couldn't see it, but she was also pulling an invisible U-haul containing that piece of a mother's heart that goes with their child wherever they go.

This morning, before the sun was up, Culley and her best friend Katey, set out towards Orlando and the adventure Culley has been waiting for for six months:  her stint in the Disney College program. 

The car loaded (thank goodness we traded in the BMW last week - it never would have fit everything!!), address of tonight's destination set in her iPhone, music ready to play, and the excitement of two young ladies off on a new millenium version of Thelma and Louise - their excitement was palpable.

And my trepidation about their long journey was tempered by my relief that the long journey is taking place.

Culley's health battles have been center stage in our lives since April when her mystery illness landed her in the ER.  Twice.  Since then she has been drained of blood, had every test run, been on strong medications, and has watched as her own body has betrayed her.  Doctor after doctor stymied by her symptoms - they can see that something is actively running through her, but they cannot get a test to indicate WHAT.

As parents, Rudy and I have desperately wanted a WHAT.  Give the goddamned thing a name so we know how to move forward and attack it.  In the absence of a definitive diagnosis, we have settled for small steps in improvement.  Slowly getting off Prednisone.  No more mystery lumps appearing out of nowhere.  Blowing her nose ten times an hour vs twenty.  (The general consensus is still that this all kicked off with the "cold" she began fighting at the end of March)  The "dots" which came from nowhere in April, covering her beautiful calves and sprinkling themselves elsewhere with no rhyme or reason, have faded.  Her legs are back to looking like the legs of a 21 year old. 

The mysterious "it" is still at play - just yesterday she felt like she had a splinter only to look at her fingertips and see several new dots had appeared.  And her nose is still demanding the attention only Puffs with Aloe can provide, but she is doing better.

She and Katey will have their adventure trip together - staying two nights at one of Rudy's resorts, and then traveling on to Orlando where Culley will check in for her internship, meet her roommates, and become a cast member of Walt Disney's wonderful world.

(A huge thank you to Katey for taking the trip to Florida with her so that Culley did not have to travel this distance alone.)

She will be gone till after New Years.  I will miss her.  SO much.  But that's ok.  I want to miss her.  I am so very happy I will have this opportunity to miss her.  I have made myself sick these past months worrying that this day would not be possible.  That her dream was going to be cruelly snatched away by her health woes.

Culley - I wish this time to be everything you have dreamed of and more.  I wish you new friendships.  I wish you excitement.  I wish you adventure.  I wish you discovery.  I wish you opened doors that may lead you in new directions.  I wish you independence.  I wish you the growth that only happens when a person is finally "out there" on their own. 

We will all be here waiting for you - me, dad, your sisters, Lex, and the livestock.  But for now - GO.  You have earned all the magic that kingdom has just waiting for you to discover.

Faith, trust, and pixie dust - now, take a deep breath and soar.