Honey Eww Eww

It has been days since the show first aired.  In those days, it has been on an almost continuous loop on TLC.

Here Comes Honey Boo Boo.

Yes, Alana, aka Honey Boo Boo, who made her infamous, Red Bull and Mountain Dew, rude, belching debut on Toddlers & Tiaras, now has her own show.

I cringed when I first saw her on T&T.  I groaned at her equally rude, uncouth mother.  But then the mealy apple doesn't fall far from the diseased  tree.

Translation:  you don't get a child with that big of an unfiltered mouth without a ripped open screen door for a parent.

I watched the show with the girls for the reason much of America did - the trainwreck factor.  It's the reason reality TV flourishes in this country.  Ignorant people willing to whore themselves out for a buck make us laugh, make us cringe, make us feel better about the way we conduct ourselves.

Here Comes Honey Boo Boo does all that and more.

Broadcast on TLC, The Learning Channel, the only thing being taught is just how far we have sunk as a viewing culture. 

For those of you getting your ass in a knot and thinking that I'm being hoity toity, stop. 

I don't have a problem with people of lesser means.  Jesus, most people these days have lesser means, no means, or at best, less means than they had a few years back.  We do what we can with what we have.  Happiness is not found in a bigger house.  It's not found in two cars and a spiffy bike for everyone in the household.

I don't have a problem with them embracing their redneckedness.  People are a product of their geography and if that is all you know, then that is all you know.

I don't have a problem with them eating roadkill.  If they can get to it before it starts to rot, have at it.  People hunt deer for food, so if collecting one hit by a car offsets their grocery bill, slaughter away.  Even Darla, the poor deer showcased practically having her innards worn by Alana, would agree.

I don't have an issue with the 17 year old sister being a pregnant teen mom.  It happens.  And not just to poor, uneducated people.  I'd rather have a teen pregnant and having it handled by the family than see a teen running a meth lab, in jail, or texting and killing an innocent family.  Is her situation ideal?  Of course not.  Do I think it should be showcased?  No, but then MTV and Bristol Palin have practically made a cottage industry out of the leg up teen girl.

I don't give a rat's ass that June washes her hair in the kitchen sink.  It's a SINK.  Use it.  Hell, we use our kitchen sink when I color Culley's hair because of the spray attachment.  Whatever works.

I don't mind that they all have nicknames.  That's what families do.  In our house, Rudy calls me Bunches.  Culley's is Bean, Ken is Boo, Carson is Cars, Carseat, Carton Of Milk.  In theirs they have Honey Boo Boo, Chubbs, Pumpkin, Sugar Bear, and Chickadee.

I don't care that they allow their child to bob for raw pig's feet at the Redneck Games.  Whatever.  Do I think it's a good idea?  A palatable idea?  GTFO.  Of course not.  But if that passes for family honor, go for it.

I don't care that June tips the scale at 305.  She is an adult.  I do have a problem with her love of the lard obviously being the reason her children are all chunky and have the eating habits of raccoons.  Health should matter and it obviously does not in that house.

What I have a huge problem with is showcasing, pimping out, exploiting children - a family - for shits and giggles because they are poor, uneducated, can't pronounce half the words they attempt.  I have a huge problem with encouraging your kids to be as rude as possible because "that's who you are."  No, June - that's who YOU have raised them to be.  (I don't hold Sugar Bear even half responsible.  That man looks to have the IQ of a low watt light bulb and works "seven days a week.")

Farting in public, at the table, being completely rude and disrespectful to total strangers (God help the etiquette woman in that obviously set up set-up who tried to teach Alana and Pig Foot Wrangler some basic manners.), and talking like hoodrats (sorry, but the saddest, most pathetic thing white people do is try to effect "hood."  Stop.  Just stop.) is simply wrong.

And being willing and/or stupid enough to do it on national TV?  Look, I know none of those children is going to grow up to be the President or Miss America (sorry to break it to you Sugar Bear and Alana), but come on.  Debasing yourself for some cash? 

Whatever TLC (The Loser Channel) is paying you?  I hope it keeps you in cheeseballs for a while because your 15 minutes will run its course, and you will be relegated to the trash heap of past reality TV.  A punchline with Real Housewives who think they can sing, Jersey sewage who think they are actually famous for something besides whoring themselves out, Bachelorettes who thought the way to greatness was via being an ingredient in a human stewpot, and Heidi Montag & Spencer Pratt (they get their own category of shock and awfulness).

I have three daughters.  I have raised them to have manners, be respectful of themselves, of others.  They take pride in being smart, and they constantly want to learn more.  I want them to learn more.  I want them to succeed. I want them to be respected.  I want their reputations to be for good they do, not for how low they can sink in the gene pool.  I have raised them to be considerate, to know how to comport themselves, to speak with dignity, intelligence, maturity, class.

To know that you never get a second chance to make a first impression.

Well, June, Sugar Bear - your daughters have had their one chance.  I hope the money was worth it because all you have allowed The Learning Channel to do is teach the world that your daughters are trashy and stupid.

And as for that second chance?  Not happening here. I won't be back for seconds of this reality TV turd parfait.

But someone, please - call Animal Protective Services.  That poor pig Glitzy needs rescued.  STAT. 

Rest in peace, Darla...

Comments

[Theresa from Virginia]

I'm not a big reality TV fan. There have been a few that I watched for awhile in the beginning when there wasn't quite so much weird behavior begging for attention. My 18 year old son likes Jersey Shore, but I tell him that every time he watches that junk a book commits suicide! It's unfortunate - and frankly scary - that people think it's a great idea to air all their business on national television, and it's just plain abuse when they drag their minor children into the middle of it!

I grew up in a small town in Arkansas, so I have seen more than my share of rednecks and weirdness, but it sounds like my family and friends are all pretty high class compared to the nutjobs on this show!

[Tracy in Placer County California]

I am constantly disgusted by what passes for entertainment these days. It never ceases to befuddle me that the networks choose to celebrate and encourage the baser of human instinct instead of using the hours to educate, inspire and encourage honorable decent behaviors. I have 2 boys (7 and 11) and a daughter (9). I cannot say that we only watch PBS and educational programming, Wipeout is in heavy rotation here as is Mad TV, we do make a concerted effort to avoid programs that encourage behaviors and lifestyles we find at best ridiculous and at most denigrating to the people involved, viewers and "cast" alike. Jersey Shore and the Kardashian slew of shows? What part of these would I possibly want any of my children to aspire to or emulate? All those shows that glorify teen pregnancies or reproduction gone wild? I do not even want to use them as a cautionary tale. I do not know if the media offerings are a reflection of societies mores or if society is a reflection of the media, but behaviors that are somehow "acceptable" these days are ridiculous. Good manners, respect for self, others and nature, and intelligence will never go out of style too bad the networks don't see it that way. Too bad for all of us.

[Sue, Sacramento to Tracy]

Hey Tracy....i work for the Transportation Department of an inner city school district.....now THAT's the makings of a reality show!!!!

[Tracy in Cincy]

Maybe they can come and do a show about my family next.
I get up and go to work Monday through Friday. Go home, play with the dogs, make dinner, watch some tv and go to bed to start all over the next day.
Weekends are for laundry, changing sheets, etc.
I do enjoy a good flea market once in a while, and oh, I do go to the farmers market on Saturdays because I love the idea of buying local fruits and veggies.
I make a mean cupcake, and some rockin' salsa, and go to a concert once in a while.
My oldest is a bartender, trying to make enough money to go back to school to be a lawyer, and my youngest is still looking for a job.
What do you think? Would you watch us? Should I send a show idea into TLC? LOL

[Shawn]

Was not understanding the "why" they HAVE to wash their hair in the kitchen sink... Do they not have a showerhead in their bathroom/bathtub? I just found that "have to" part odd. I get not wanting to do that in bathtub...

Heck I don't ever take a bath to get clean...as you are sitting in dirty water...ugh. I have soaked in the bath and THEN showered to be fully clean when all is said and done.

[Shawn]

Watched portions of this for the train wreck factor. It is a sad commentary on the state of this family that despite them speaking "English" we need subtitles to understand what the F they are saying.

Learned one thing tho: never knew you could go to an auction to buy food. Stock up on the junk food on the cheap!

Where is the father of the one daughters baby? Is he actually smart enough to stay off camera? Hard to believe that would be the case....

Missed the part with the road kill...must have been at the beginning of the show?

[Sue, Sacramento]

I came upon the last 10 minutes of this train wreck...just in time for the sonogram. That was enough for me. TLC has certainly scraped the bottom of the barrel for this group of low class, white trash. Off topic tho, I went to see Hope Springs yesterday...sweet movie, but goes deeper into the dysfunctional relationship than I thought it was going to. Another wonderful performance by Meryl Streep. There was a preview of a movie called Won't Back Down that looks like it will be very good...

[Nikki in NYC]

I saw it yesterday.

Christ almighty.

It's all child abuse.

I see too that the Duggar friends, the Bateses, have their own show and are bringing home number 20 or 21.

Good grief.

[Amy in CT]

I have only watched Toddlers and Tiaras once, and was so taken aback by the whole thing that I never watched again. This time I was changing channels, looking for alternate Olympic coverage when I stumbled upon this trainwreck, right at the time that poor woman was attempting to teach the girls some table manners. I was appalled at what I saw. Not so much at the kids, but more so at the mother. Our kids are what we teach them to be, and these girls are going to be their mother's mini-me...SMH.