Caught in The InterNET

"Teach your children well..."

So goes the line from the Crosby, Stills, and Nash song.

If only more parents DID, perhaps we wouldn't have stories like this one.

Last summer, 17 year old Kentucky teen, Savannah Dietrich went to a party.  She drank.  She passed out.

So far, unfortunately, there's nothing history making in her story.  Underage drinking takes place in every town across this nation.  Don't act like it doesn't. 

Here in my neck of the woods, a sweet faced 16 year old died last year after drinking at a house party, hitting her head, and being left unattended by the frightened and drunk teens she was with.

It happens.  Should it?  Of course not.  But parents go out of town, teens are left unattended, and the rest is a tale as old as time, Mrs. Potts.

In Savannah's case, no one died.  Thankfully.  However, her life was forever altered by the pictures discovered after the fact.

When she came to, her clothes were askew and she felt like something was "not right."

"I had my dress back on but my bra was shifted all weird and then my underwear was off."

She was then informed that boys had taken photos of her. 

"They told me that it was me on the kitchen floor, passed out, my eyes are closed.  My clothes are -- I'm exposed. Someone said one boy had his arm broken at the time and said his cast was in the picture."

Start doing some math here.  Underage drinking + disheveled clothing + underwear gone.  Nothing good comes from that equation.

At a hearing in June, the boys confessed to felony sexual abuse and misdemeanor voyeurism. 

CONFESSED.  As in, they did it, perhaps more.  It was widely reported that Savannah and her parents were very unhappy with the plea bargaining that had taken place between the state and the boys' attorneys.

But such is our beautiful legal system - the equivalent ot judicial Swiss cheese, with holes big enough for human rats to crawl through and escape full punishment for their crimes.

And make no mistake, we are talking CRIME here. 

Think not?  Are you sitting there blaming the victim for having the audacity to pass out?  Doing the, "well, she was asking for it" dance in your head?

No one, male or female deserves to be violated.  I don't care if they are stone cold sober and attacked while out jogging, or passed out at a party.  Human decency and decent upbringing should come immediately to the fore and the instinct should be to protect, not perv those who cannot defend themselves.

So, the girl is molested, if not more, her name and face are made public, and those pictures shared by even more shitty and unscrupulous teens.

But because of THEIR age, their names cannot be made public.  The court ordered her to not talk about it, or risk 180 days in prison and a $500 fine.

BULL and SHIT.

A five year old knows enough right vs wrong when it comes to private parts to call bullshit on this behavior, yet these young men get away with it, with guaranteed anonymity because of their age? 

BULL and SHIT.

Their faces and the details of their crimes should be just as out there as the pictures they gleefully shared of Savannah.  My opinion.

Savannah's, too.

She took to the teen dominated land of justice, Twitter, and in August 2011 named her assailants.  "There you go, lock me up," she tweeted to a couple hundred Twitter followers, outing her assailants by name. "I'm not protecting anyone that made my life a living Hell.”

She also added her thoughts on Facebook: "If reporting a rape only got me to the point that I'm not allowed to talk about it, then I regret it."

Was it a rape, by clinical definition of penetration?  I don't know, get Congressman Akin on the phone and we'll talk legitimacy.  She was passed out, anything could have happened.

Again, let me stress - these pieces of shit molested her - they CONFESSED to that much to avoid a trial and potential of TRUE PUNISHMENT.  They took pictures that they shared via cell phone to cell phone to cell phone throughout their high school.  They were proud of what they had done.

THEY outed Savannah.  Passed out, exposed. violated.  No one protected her identity.

Personally, if this scenario played out with one of my daughters - massive disappointment not withstanding for the underage drinking - I would have said "Fuck the potential jailtime and $500 fine.  I'm buying a fucking gross of billboards and plastering their faces and names everywhere.  I will buy a website and post their pictures and list of offenses.  I will email every college registrar in this country their names and crimes."

Of course, Savannah was hit with a contempt motion filed by David Mejia, the attorney of one of the boys, because...wait for it....

SHE DESTROYED HIS LIFE.

"He's had to move," said legal piece of shit, Mejia.  "He has lost all the potential that was there. He was attending high school and was kicked out. He was on course to a scholarship to an Ivy League school to play sports and that may be jeopardized. He's in therapy. He's just overwhelmed and devastated by what started from the conduct of this young girl saying false things as she did."

YOUR CLIENT CONFESSED.  YOUR CLIENT SHARED PHOTOS OF A YOUNG GIRL IN A COMPROMISED STATE.  OH, AND ASK YOUR CLIENT ABOUT HER UNDERWEAR.  DID IT JUST FALL OFF HER BODY?

Mejia's contempt motion drew the expected national ire, so he withdrew it, whining all the way, "When we filed the motion, we wanted our client's names off the Internet and wanted her to know that what she was doing was wrong.  [She should] acknowledge what she's done, remove the name and promise not to do it again."

FUCK. YOU. MR. MEJIA.

He then goes on to blame today's technology for his client's current state of affairs.

"I think it's rather astonishing how the Internet changes everything," he said. "Look at [Rep. Todd Akin], the politician from Missouri who was on the news a few days ago and made a comment about 'legitimate rape.' Those comments have now gone viral and he is ruined. Twenty years ago it would not have happened like this. These things just stream with enormous speed across the whole country."

Yes, David, 20 years ago pieces of shit who committed crimes, or made gallingly ignorant and offensive comments were protected by there only be newsprint.  How sad for you and your poor wittle molester client that people can now KNOW what he did.  That people all over the world are privvy to the GOP attack on women, the shit-for-brains statements made by men like Akin whose sole understanding of female reproduction is that the stork still brings the babies.  From Jesus.

How sad for you that the Internet makes it impossible to hide from your actions like back in the day.  How you must pine for the days when you could drunk up a girl, molest her in the frat house, and then dump her back at her dorm with no penalty.

Evil cell phones with cameras.  Evil Twitter.  Evil internet.  And don't forget that evil girl your client molested.  How dare she want justice?

But back to the line from the song.  If more parents taught their children WELL, more children would not be engaging in criminal activity.  More children would not be throwing alcohol hazed parties the second mom and dad are out of the driveway.  More children would not stand by laughing while others molest an unconscious partygoer.

Parenting is not easy, but by the same token, it is not rocket science.  There is right.  There is wrong.  For both the child AND the parent.  If you abdicate your responsibilities as a parent, you can expect no better than an abdication of responsibilities by your offspring.  If you have no idea what they do online, shame on you.  If you don't check their cell phones regularly, you are stupid.  And don't give me the "privacy" whine.  As long as I pay for their access and the phone in their hands, it is mine to monitor anytime I see fit.  And if you don't have a honest and true answer as to where your child is on a Friday or Saturday night (hell, ANY night), then BIG SHAME ON YOU.

Teach your children well, especially about consequences for their actions, and then perhaps a 17 year old abuse victim won't have to.

Comments

[Theresa Lee]

I just read yesterday that there were some rulings in favor of this young lady by a different judge this week.

[Jamie in WI]

We got Hailey her first cell phone - she knows that at any given time - I can take it - see her calls, her texts, what she has looked at etc... (and I do) we have no internet at home right now. So now issue there. But I am in 100% full agreement - its a parents job to teach their children well.

[Nikki in NYC]

Savannah should file a civil lawsuit. Get your justice however you can. Even if you don't win, you win by not laying down. And they are fully named and shamed. In a court of law.

[Chicky]

Every time you write about rape, it brings up feelings of anger, helplessness and hopelessness. After almost 40 years, it's still right there like it was yesterday. The 13-year old girl in me who was raped and had to go through a humiliating (scary) trial applauds this girl and her bravery. I knew my assailant too, but he was over 18, so he was publicly outed. Thank God for that. My judge was fair, just and horrified by the actions of my rapist. If I was given a gag order, I don't think I could have or would have remained silent (however this was in the 70s before the age of Internet and cell phones and Twitter)...

Savannah is my hero, she refused to remain the victim that her rapists, the judge and the D.A. wanted her to be - she stood up and shouted to the world that this was wrong and these boys need to be punished. To ridicule her actions or question her motives is to be on the wrong side of what is right and just.

I'm with Robin - she should seek monetary damages with the families of these boys for nothing else than to teach them a lesson that children need to learn consequences of their actions and learn the difference between right and wrong. The boys' parents failed them, and the judicial system failed Savannah. NO ONE should he raped in the first place, but to be raped again in the courts is unjust and unforgivable. I hope this judge was elected so that the people of her city can elect him right out of there.

My heart bleeds for Savannah.

[Robin in NM]

I have to question the legality of the gag order. After all, she still should have the right to bring a suit against them for monetary damages (damage to reputation - HERS being the primary) I don't believe the law can prohibit her naming them and claiming their actions damaged her. There was certainly suffficient proof. Their guilty pleas would foreclose them from claiming the incident did not happen. They would be left trying to justify the photos on the phones as NOT damaging to her. Of course, they have no money, BUT, parental liability might be invoked. The problem again is the ages. Late teen years are a slippery slope when it comes to who is financially liable.

[Shawn]

Grrrr....this just pisses me off. And good for Savannah for STANDING UP AND NOT LETTING THEM GET AWAY WITH IT!

[Theresa from Virginia]

I have the "expectations" discussion with people all the time. So many young people I know are just aimless, but I blame most of that on the lack of expectations placed upon those kids by their parents. My children know and have known from early on that I had expectations which they had to meet - period. No discussions. No whining. Now don't get me wrong - I'm no prude, and I was doing my share of sewing the wild oats when I was young - but I also had expectations to get good grades, go to college, have a career, etc. Thankfully I have been blessed enough to meet all of those expectations while still having a good time. I will always love my two no matter what they do, but I have thankfully taught them well, and there is no doubts as to the expectations.

[Katy]

OMG! Once AGAIN, you pluck the thoughts right out of my head...."the shit-for-brains statements made by men like Akin whose sole understanding of female reproduction is that the stork still brings the babies. From Jesus." I was about to type the exact comment about Akins at your other post about him!! (that he must believe the storks delivered his two daughters!)

I'm glad you wrote about Savannah's story, and I totally agree with you - young people make mistakes (i.e. the drinking), but no way in hell did she deserve or is she to blame for what those PIGS did. IMO, she is a hero for being brave enough to publicly punish them (since the court didn't) by using the same methods they did to violate, rape and humiliate her. I only wished that you would have included the POS's names in your post! :-)