Don't Get Me Started with Linda Sharp

Jeer Factor

You know something is bad when it makes comedian and Fear Factor host Joe Rogan stop short and go, "WTF?  Really?  Seriously, dude?  Get the f*ck out."

One of his funniest stand up bits details his time spent as host of the cringe worthy, hork inducing primetime game show of the early 00s.  Having to cheer contestants on as they faced down their fears of height/speed/vermin was easy.  Having to coax them on to eatjust "one more inch" of horse rectum?  Well, that required him being stoned on national TV a lot of the time.

He admits he would find out the details of the edible stunts, look at the writers/producers, and say, "GTFO.  You really think they're gonna eat raw dong?  OK, let's do this."

The show went off the air in 2006, but began a comeback  in 2011.  Apparently there is no shortage of writer creativity and desperate out of work actors in LA.

And where reality TV viewer lust is concerned, well, that's the perfect storm.

Tomorrow night was to see another new episode aired on NBC.  Joe Rogan hinted at its contents in an interview several months back saying,  "I got there and they told me what we were gonna do, and I just started laughing like, 'There's no way. That's not really gonna happen. Wait, is that really gonna happen?'

He then said that NBC was still reviewing the footage and that it might not even air.  It was THAT bad.

Well, apparently there IS a line that NBC won't cross, and this episode contained it.

They call themselves Must See TV, not Must Pee TV.

The episode which is being flushed, as it were, included a stunt in which the contestants had to down donkey piss and donkey semen.

Let that digest a moment.

Donkey piss.  Donkey semen.

Of course now that the story is out, the sanctimonious uproar begins. How low can they go?!?  How dare they?!?  The writers should be fired!!!

Ha.  I am of the opposite mindset.  It's not the writers I fault - this is what they get paid to do.  As for the producers?  Their job is to bring in ratings, and as the evening news has long known, "if it bleeds, it leads"  - meaning the grosser, the better.  They know they have an audience for their antics.

I say air the damned thing.  Hype it to high heaven.  Because the ones who really need outed are the idiots who agreed to say "Bottoms up!"

Shows like this, The Bachelor, The Bachelorette, Bad Girls, et al.,  would not exist without lines of ignorant 20 somethings snaking around the block in an attempt to snag their 15 minutes of fame, or in most cases, SHAME.

If they are willing to debase themselves for the possibility of $50,000? Film it and show it.  No one has to watch it. 

Frankly, $50k is not even an opening bid to get me to entertain the thought of rectum carpaccio with a piss chaser.  But then I don't think $10k is a big enough prize on Cupcake Wars.  I mean if you are able to put together a cupcake that contains salmon, caviar, and mashed potatoes, yet still makes that snooty French man go, "oo la la"?  You deserve a helluva lot more than $10,000.

But back to Fear Factor...

As I said, no one forces the American public to tune in.  No one forces us to watch Snooki get drunk, total strangers make out in hot tubs, girls rip out each other's hair extensions, or toddlers dressed up like Dolly Parton.

But that's apparently the mental piss and semen that keeps us sated.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So, what's YOUR price for downing a glass of donkey drippings?  I have mine.  'Fess up.

 

A Planet Called Hubris In A Galaxy Called Hypocrisy

The Dumbing Down By Saintorum Continues

Another day, another opportunity for the GOP wannabe, who stands ZERO chance of snagging the nom, to run his ignorant mouth.

Taking a break from his favorite topics - gay sex, and rape as a gift from God - Saint Rick turned his attention to higher education.

It's apparently bad for you.  Like eating rancid meat.  Or playing with knives.

Higher education will hurt this country - or at least Ricky's imagined version of our theocratic, God sanctioned, founded-by-fathers-perpetually-on-their-knees country.

College is a dangerous place because that's where kids get "indoctrinated."

Yes, there's another scary right wing word from their Word O' The Day toilet paper roll.  The same roll that brought you "socialism," "Marxist," and "death panels."

Of course this all spring boards off President Obama's desire to see every child have the opportunity to go to college.  And we all know by now that if Obama says it, it's baaaaaaaaad.

According to Rick, "It's no wonder President Obama wants every kid to go to college, the indoctrination that occurs in American universities is one of the keys to the left holding and maintaining power in America. And it is indoctrination."

I see.  As opposed to the samethink that is endorsed and taught in a religious university?

He continued, "Because you know 62 percent of children who enter college with a faith conviction leave without it."

Gee, Rick - let's see - an 18 year old leaves home, goes out into the world, begins to rub up against new ideas, people of different cultures, those with open minds, actual WORLD views - and then he/she begins to notice that, contrary to what they have been INDOCTRINATED BY THEIR RELIGIONS to believe their whole lives, these people are not Satanic, bad, or evil.  Go figure that some of them begin to call bullshit on the fear they have been raised with.

I have two daughters at two universities.  They entered with open minds, they will exit with better educated open minds. 

I find it laughable that the right has chosen to use higher education as a dog whistle for their base - calling it elitist, dangerous.  Especially Santorum who happens to hold THREE, count 'em, THREE degrees - a BA, an MBA, and a JD.  From these secular, unholy indoctrination centers, no less. 

Hypocrite much, Rick?

You didn't seem to lose your religion, if anything, your mind is about as closed and filled with religious dogma as they come.

Higher education is NOT bad.  Increasingly out of reach for many Americans?  Absolutely.  Rudy and I know firsthand the costs and sacrifices which must be made to help a child pursue a degree. But we also have the desire to see our daughters be able to compete on the world job stage.

And as for indoctrinating?  Well, I guess he and I are guilty of that.  We have spent their lives indoctrinating them to believe in growth, thought, a love for learning, to not fear the unknown, to embrace differences, to try new things, to explore avenues of interest, to chase their dreams.

You know, all those bad things that get in the way of people like Rick being able to shove their religious shit down a person's throat.

Not Praying With A Full Deck

I saw the story this morning and I knew.  I knew she would find her way to her Facebook page and spew her ignorance like the middle school bully she is.

Alaska Airlines is discontinuing placing prayer cards on their meal trays in response to input from passengers.

Cue Sarah Palin.

She's shocked.  She's hurt.  She SO hopes it's not true.

She wrote, "It feels so odd that some may be offended by a little card with an encouraging non-denominational verse from the Psalms, but how often do we hear complaints about tawdry ads or billboard images flashing at us everywhere we turn?," Palin wrote. "People of faith and common decency just shrug and move on from the constant assault on their sensibilities; we don't call for censorship -- at least I don't."

Well, Sarah - since this is just another in a long laundry list of Things Sarah Palin Doesn't "GET" - we'll start at the start, ok?

Non-dom verse from the Psalms:  The Psalms being IN THE BIBLE.  The Bible being the Christian playbook.  Pretty sure Alaska Airlines serves customers of all religious stripes, or no religious stripes at all.

Complaints about tawdy ads?  Constantly.  Ask around.  People are very vocal about their dislikes, offenses taken, ass in a wad-edness.  I mean, come on, Sarah - YOUR favorite playground - FACEBOOK - is the largest depository for expressing discontent.  (See your latest rant.)

"People of faith and common decent just shrug and move on..."  HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Sorry, gotta catch my breath... (got stuck on your censorship remark.  You DO remember your fight with the Wasilla public librarian when you attempted to have books removed, don't you?)

OK, if that's truly how you feel then I propose this to Alaska Airlines on YOUR behalf:  Add to the deck of praying cards.  Include prayer cards for EVERY SINGLE RELIGION OUT THERE.  Shuffle the deck and place them at random on the meal trays.  Should Sarah get the Muslim prayer card, surely she'll just quietly, respectfully, put it to the side and move on to eating her overcooked salmon, right?  Right, Sarah?

(insert sound of crickets)

(Now, insert sound of trickling as logic makes Sarah's brain ooze out her ear.)

If Only His Mother Had Swallowed...

I know, I know - gross title, but one that comes to mind more and more each time I hear Rick Santorum open his sanctimonious mouth.

His latest contribution to Things-That-Make-My-Head-Throb?

Rape victims should be forced to have the babies should they become pregnant - you know,  "make the best out of a bad situation."

I am quoting.

MAKE THE BEST OUT OF A BAD SITUATION.

First of all, Rick - "bad" does not begin to touch the "situation" of a woman being raped.  Rape is an act of violence.  Rape is not misguided love, or an overzealous suitor who is overcome with lust.

IT. IS. AN. ACT. OF. VIOLENCE.

Making the best of that situation involves counseling, resolve, unlimited tears, time, justice.

And even with all those things on board, the rape doesn't go away.  It remains a part of the person's psyche forever.  It is a violation so deep and profound, it becomes a part of the person - a "situation" that is - even if unconsciously - used as a filter through which all of the person's life now passes.

Your, and your cohorts', goal of wanting to legislate a woman's body has crossed over from personal viewpoint into intrusive obsession.

We get it, you don't like abortion - although you sure grabbed at the CHOICE when a pregnancy threatened the life of your wife, huh, Ricky?  Seems to me that CHOICE component was pretty damned important to you then.

My uterus, my vagina, my sex life, my sex positions - are none of your goddamned business.  I don't care what you get up to in the bedroom, Rick.  Quite frankly, the mere thought of you naked and engorged makes my breakfast threaten to reappear.  But I also could not care less if you wear your wife's bra and thong, paint each other in latex, and hang from the f**king chandelier.  Whatever makes you two happy.  Go for it.

Santorum says he would counsel a pregnant rape victim to "accept this horribly created" baby, because it was still a gift from God, even if given in a "broken" way.

A gift from God.

I see, so let's follow that "logic," shall we?

If the "horribly created" baby is a gift from God, then I guess God sent and sanctioned the rapist, right?  Cause we all know that God doesn't make mistakes, right?  That he is in charge of everything, right?

Mr. Santorum, here's the reality - you will never be President of the United States because you are not capable of even remotely understanding that you would be representing all the people of the United States.  Your views, all religion based, are fine - as long as they are kept in your church where they belong.

They do not, however, despite what you and your GOP brethren believe, belong in our governance.

You people who shout about smaller government only want it smaller so it can fit in my vagina.

How about we come up with some penis legislation?  Like, once you have cheated on 2 spouses, the law of the land dicktates that you are immediately castrated so you may not destroy family values and the sanctity of marriage any further?

I like that one.

Or, how about if a man impregnates a woman and she doesn't want the baby, he is required, by law, to take and raise the child to adulthood?

Ooo!  How about this one?  Since every sperm is precious and life giving, masturbation is immediately illegal, and a crime prosecutable as murder!  I like that one a lot!

What?  You don't like the idea of YOUR sex life being legislated, Rick?  I don't care.  I would still be allowed to masturbate because my eggs would not be in harm's way.  So the law wouldn't affect me at all, so why should I care how it affects you?

What's that?  Because it's not right for me to be able to legislate what goes on between you, your nudie magazine, and your choices?

Oh, I get it.  Double standard.

But back to the rape victims.  Let's say you get your way and all rape victims who become pregnant must carry and have those babies.  What happens when their rapist shows up demanding parental rights?  Which has happened.

Should the woman then be forced to marry the man because according to you a two parent hetero household is better?

Two words for you, Rick:  FUCK and YOU.

I have three daughters, and their bodies are not YOUR possessions.  I may have never chosen abortion for myself, but it is not up to me to make bodily choices for them or anyone else. 

But if I could?  I would start by rewinding the hands the time, holding a gun to your mother's head, and making sure she swallowed.

Being A Slave To Ignorance

Nothing makes my head threaten to explode faster than dealing with someone who turns their back on a FACT simply because it wrinkles their nose, puckers their sphincter, or simply doesn't play to their innner narrative.

Example:  Those who bang the "this country was founded as a Christian nation" drum as they continue their hypocritical campaign against Islam all the while attempting to instill their own theocracy here in the United States.

FACT:  This country's "founding fathers" - aka, the rich guys in charge - were actually largely deists.  That means they believed there was more to this earthly plane than they could understand or see, but they were not presumptive enough to name it or declare their absolute rightness about their opinion on the matter.

Example:  The many who declare President Obama - you know, the Muslim-socialist-Marxist-with the permanent tan - to have driven this country into a ditch since taking office.

FACT:  Despite what they so fervently want to cling to, history did not begin on January 20, 2009.  In January 2001, as Clinton was leaving office and Bush was entering, the Congressional Budget Office estimated then that the government would run an average annual surplus of more than $800 billion a year from 2009 to 2012.

That bears repeating:  AVERAGE SURPLUS OF MORE THAN $800 BILLION A YEAR.

Fast forward to January 2009 as Bush was leaving and Obama was entering:  The CBO projected a $1.2 trillion deficit for 2009 and deficits in subsequent years, based on continuing Mr. Bush’s policies and the effects of recession.

YES, the deficit has continued to increase, as should be expected in trying to pull this country out of the morass into which we have been mired.  Has President Obama's administration done everything right?  Of course not.  But then, who among us (besides Glenn Beck, Rush Limbaugh, and Doughboy-Cheater-Extraordinaire Gingrich) knows exactly what steps to take to insure 100% success?  Quite frankly, I wouldn't take the job if you promised to pay me $800 billion a year.

Today's example that has brought on this rant, however, does not have to do with the FACT vs FICTION fight over  government spending or religion, but on a certain segment of the populace intent on sticking its fingers in its ears and going la la la la la over this country's actual history in favor of making it much more palatable and white people friendly.

It seems a segment of the Tea Party in Tennessee is pushing an effort to get school textbooks rewritten so that our history of slave ownership is seen in a good light.

I take that back - that last line was far too generous.

What they are seeking is to delete references to slavery and FACTS regarding the country's founders being slave owners

Kind of a ServPro for the history books:  Like it never even happened.

Their bullshit justification?  Their mouthpiece, Hal Rounds, Fayette County attorney and spokesman for the group, says there has been "an awful lot of made-up criticism about, for instance, the founders intruding on the Indians or having slaves or being hypocrites in one way or another."

Pssst, Hal.  Intruding?   Is that your delicate way of covering the FACT that we came upon these shores and annihilated the people who LIVED HERE FIRST? 

"The thing we need to focus on about the founders is that, given the social structure of their time, they were revolutionaries who brought liberty into a world where it hadn't existed, to everybody -- not all equally instantly -- and it was their progress that we need to look at."

Not all equally, instantly?

Yes, Hal - because the collective white WE looked down their noses at the dark skinned natives they stole from another land and brought here to do their bidding.  Those PEOPLE were not chained, stuffed in ships, and sold on platforms with the whispered promise of  "Just hang in there, buddy, we'll set you free eventually, just not instantly.  Now, turn around so I can whip your hide."

Of course, all this is spurred on, and these people emboldened by, the fact that my highly enlightened state approved a measure to distort school textbooks to better align with the highly conservative, woefully ignorant, and intellectually incurious mindset which is so prevalent here (see: Rick Perry).

They are calling on Tennessee lawmakers to amend textbook selection criteria to include: "No portrayal of minority experience in the history which actually occurred shall obscure the experience or contributions of the Founding Fathers, or the majority of citizens, including those who reached positions of leadership." 

"...obscure the experience of contributions of the Founding Fathers..."

THEY.  OWNED. SLAVES.

That is historical FACT, you 15 watt dimbulbs.  Like it or not, your precious founding fathers OWNED PEOPLE.  Deleting this information, hell, even obscuring it or rewriting it to a gentler tone, is to ignore both the imperfect origins of this country and the progress we have made as a people since.

Historical revisionism is a dangerous thing.  Making the unpalatable disappear is a huge disservice.  Those who would seek to rewrite history are making it woefully easier for future generations to repeat it as the lessons learned are obliterated.

But revisionism is their thing, I guess.

Those Bibles they cling to to back their bigoted, idiotic positions have been rewritten, revised, reversed, amended, altered, and redistributed countless times since the book's inception.

But it's hard to acknowledge that when your back is turned and your fingers are in your ears...  la la la la la la...

It's Jacqueline's Day!

It's Sharon's Day!

It's Kathy W's Day!

Time To Celebrate Leah!