Don't Get Me Started with Linda Sharp

Piece Officer?

"To protect and serve."

Ahhhh, words that immediately give a body that warm, fuzzy, dial 9-1-1 they will send a hero feeling.

Police officers are the stitches that help hold a society together, keep it accountable, make it safe for citizens to pursue life, liberty, and happiness.  Are they sometimes a bane to one's existence? 

Well, sure.  If one is in a hell of a hurry to get from A to B,  Officer Murphy incorporates his own law into insuring a real officer invites you to slow down, complete with flashing lights and an escort to the side of the road.

If you decide that your own pursuit of happiness (happiness defined as a car, ipod, stereo) involves stripping someone else of theirs?  Enter a lawman or woman to teach you the finer points of "pursuit."

Law enforcement is a dangerous, often thankless job.  Like the military.  Or teaching.

Those who enter into the profession are underpaid, maligned, marginalized, made the butt of jokes - yet they still put on their uniform every day - proudly - and go out to defend the citizens of their towns.

Or in this case offend.

Meet Officer John - name chosen for his activity, as much as for his current anonymous status.

John appears to be a member of the New Sexico Mexico State Troopers.  (I say appears to be as anyone can buy a Halloweenie costume and dress up as a police officer, complete with fuzzy handcuffs.)

Caught on surveillance video, John looks to have used the tried and true "spread 'em" admonishment we all know from countless cops and robbers TV shows.

The perv perp seems to be complying.  Hard to tell from one picture if at any point he yelled "Stick 'em up" or "Down on the ground!," but there's no doubt she quickly learned the answer to the question, "Do you know why I pulled you over?"

I hope she didn't try to run - I doubt his cock Glock is shooting blanks.

As the video contains no audio, it is impossible to say whether she is taking advantage of her Miranda right to remain silent, while anything can and is being used against her...

And as so often is the case in crime - there are collateral victims.  Those who see things they will never forget, those caught in the line of fire, as it were.  That poor pooch in the foreground...

KOB, an Albuquerque news station claims to know the officer's identity, but is currently keeping it to themselves pending the complete investigation by the Sheriff's office.

I suppose they will turn it over to internal affairs?

One thing's for certain, she certainly took him up on the offer to "go ahead, make my day."

Clit CLINT Eastwood would be so proud.

Celebrating The Love of Amy & Tom!

Oh, For The Love Of God...

The eastern United States.  Yes, it was an odd place for an earthquake.  We simple minded and geographically challenged Americans like our generalizations tidy.  Meaning that our earthquakes are supposed to happen where our jokes about them are directed - mainly California and the fact that it will someday likely slide into the ocean, a la 2012.  HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Hell, I know better, yet still find it odd when my desert living parents lament about yet another monsoon.  Monsoon implies wet.  Phoenix?   It must be a dry wet.

So, I'll give you that the rumblings felt in Virginia and throughout DC are a tad eyebrow raising.  

But then I stop and use my critical thinking skills and say, "Linda, we live on an ever evolving, unstable piece of rock.  It is filled with hot juice, and plates that - load for load - may lose a stability contest to a pack of Chinet."

Shit happens.  Shit has been happening forever.  Earthquakes, tidal waves, hurricanes, tornadoes, Justin Bieber...

Yet because something happened that is again out of our control, leave it to the most religious among us to lay claim to another natural occurance as obvious unhappiness upstairs.

God must be pissed off again. 

Just ask Pat Robertson.

According to ye old crock of Christiandom, Pat, this earthquake "means that we’re closer to the coming of the Lord.”

Well, by that litmus test of God's wrath... I just farted and it smelled like frankincense.  (Or myrrh?)  I guess He must be really cheesed about something.

He continued...

"I don't want to get weird on this, so please take it for what it's worth, but it seems to me the Washington Monument is a symbol of America's power. It has been the symbol of our great nation, we look at that monument and we say this is one nation under God. Now there's a crack in it."

"Is that a sign from the Lord? Is that something that has significance, or is it just the result of an earthquake?" Robertson asked his viewers.

Point of order, Pat, not that facts ever get in the way of a good Bible banging - but "one nation under God" was not added to the pledge until 1954.  Said monument's cornerstone was laid in 1848, its capstone placed in 1884.  So all those people who built it, visited it, gazed upon its phallic glory were all heathens?  Non believers?

Pat, I'm all for a good old fashioned miracle.  A cancer disappearing, a kidnapped child being found alive, hell, I'll even read another story about a Virgin Mary Chicken Nugget - but this insatiable, insufferable, exploitative, keep 'em scared and sendin' in $$, snake oil saleman gig of yours is wearing thin.

Fear is a religious leader's best weapon.  It's why you wear such nice suits, Pat.  As long as you keep the fear simmering and throw out a bogey man "end is nigh" on a regular basis by stringing together things that have nothing to do with each other - the weak minded, eager to believe and follow but not question, will keep you in busine$$.

The Washington Monument was not built as some testament of faith, some offering to THE GOD.  It is just a monument, which now, like your methodology is cracked.

The God I believe in is not some 8 year old boy with a magnifying glass soulessly burning up souls for His amusement.  And given the true spectrum of suffering in this world?  I'd say if He is so inclined to intervene, I'd think he'd start with something like saving an infant from being raped in the Congo.  Not shaking the ground because "he" hates fags.

Sometimes an earthquake IS just an earthquake.  And sometimes an asshat is just an opportunistic pig with a Bible.

And if He is coming anytime soon?  I'm ready.  Then again, I haven't spent my years on this earth fleecing the flock and deigning to speak for God.

But let's play with that for a mome, shall we?  As I am an ordained minister, and that is all it takes to step to the microphone and let the populace know that God has spoken to me (well, that and/or an "R" after my name - ahem, Palin, Bachmann, Beck, et al), allow me to edify you all:

The massive and painful drought currently being inflicted upon, yea brethren, I did say inflicted upon, the state of Texas is God's punishment for we twangy talkin' heathens letting loose yet another Kraken upon the national stage.  Yes, Rick Perry, I am talking about YOU!  God doesn't like you.  In fact, God is mighty pissethed offeth and is punishing the flock for your transgressions and hair.  And even as we cry out, "We are thirst laden, Lord!" the Lord refuses to send the rains so we may once again Jet Ski on our lakes, wash our Ford Ranger pick-ups, and go tubin' with a beer in each hand.

And woe betide Eric Cantor!  That earthquake was not sent to crack the National Penis, NAY!  NAY!  The epicenter was in YOUR district!  Cantor, recantor lest your people endure yet another rumbling of the intestinal tract of this hot, juicy orb at the hands of God! 

Get the point?  I can appropriate God just as easily as these charlatans.  I just don't choose to do so because, well, I actually do fear the wrath of the Big Guy and speaking for Him seems, well, a little cheeky - AND MANIPULATIVE.

Oooooo.  I just felt shaking again.  Oh, never mind, that was just Pat in his boots.

A Cold Wind Blows

Mine was named Iniki.  

If you have hung around DGMS long enough, you know I am referring to my hurricane in 1992 when Rudy and I lived on the island of Kauai.

It came, it destroyed, it did not conquer.  At least not the human spirit.  That can withstand even the strongest of Category 5 winds.

I like knowing that Rudy and I know.  We know something some people never will.  

We know that none of it - the stuff - the TVs, the cars, the knick knacks, the souvenirs, the apparel saved from high school, the old concert stubs, record collections, favorite shoes, killer dress, expensive suit, heirloom piece of furniture - NONE. OF. IT. matters.

If you walk away from a tornado, a hurricane, a tsunami with breath in your lungs and your baby in your arms, or your loved one's hand in yours - the rest?  Well, the rest was just clutter and good riddance to it.

Yes, yes, yes - a person will mourn it all briefly.  We're entitled to have our asses pucker when something is taken away from us without our consent.  Hell, I still - 19 years later - think about my cherished Monkees albums I lost.  

But then, it's time to MOVE ON.

Life is for living, life is for loving.  It is NOT for mourning some god awful acetate shirt from the 80s.

As Irene is continuing to make her presence known, my thoughts are with all those whose homes and businesses are in her path.  And my advice is simple:

To the best of your ability - GET OUT OF HER WAY.

You cannot stop her by refusing to budge from your home.  Your bullheaded denial won't save your noggin from a 2x4 traveling at 125mph.  Your presence in the line of fire is not worth the possibility of looters hellbent on bogarting your collection of NASCAR collectible plates in the aftermath.

People in her crosshairs have an option we did not have back in 1992.  You are attached to the entire country, you CAN find a way to move further inland.  On Kauai, we had no choice.  No where to drive.  No where to run.  Yet we had only 1 fatality.  That's because there was a complete and total respect for Mother Nature's fury.  So everyone took heed, evacuated to safe structures, and waited her out.

If you are fearing the worst today, then PLEASE, prepare for it.  And that does not mean thinking your home will stand up and protect you.  It may not.  Avail yourself of appointed shelters - those buildings are typically designated as such because they are built out of concrete and steel, not lumber and drywall.

Let the Three Little Pigs be your cautionary tale.

And if you lose something, everything in this storm?  

Take a breath.  Reach for your loved one.  And start from there.  As long as you are living, loving - the rest truly doesn't matter. 

Five Years For Michelle & Adam!

It's Scott's Day!

It's Talia J's Day, Too!

It's Sue's Day!

It's Diane's Day!

Say Something Nice

This is just brilliant.  The power of a simple statement to make everyone else feel good, is reflected directly back in the smiles of the people stepping up.