Don't Get Me Started with Linda Sharp

Separated At Firth?

All 3 daughters, and most of their friends, are convinced Colin and Rudy are the same person.  Hmmm, maybe that's why he's never home?

 

 

Ready To Be Hungover Again?

They have finally released a brief trailer for Hangover 2, and if the monkey, bald head, and face tattoo are indicators of what's in store, I'd say another hit is in the making.  I know where I'll be Memorial Day.

Let's Celebrate Katy!

 

It's Natala's Day!

 

Bottom A-hole, Not Top Chef

OK, this is truly apropos of nothing, but it is sticking in my craw (as my Mom would say), so I'm going to get it out.

I watch Top Chef.  My whole family does.  As foodies, we love the creativity, quick thinking, and innovation.  And as happens with most reality programming, we have our favorite competitors each season.

This round is showcasing the All Stars - contestants from all seasons past who came close, but didn't take home the prize in their respective seasons.

We have loved Casey, Trey, Fabio, Blaze, and of course, Carla.  Who doesn't love Carla.

Of course, each season has its share of culinary offal (awful?) who always serve up more than the dishes they prepare.  They are always ready with a side order of SPD (Shitful Personality Disorder), so convinced of their own greatness, so completely ignorant of social niceties, integrity, etc.

Basically the ones you love to hate.

Yes, in past seasons we had Marcel's hideous white boy rapping, Steven's dillusions of oenophile grandeur, and Tiffany - the first Top Chef villainness from Season 1.  (I can almost cut her a touch of slack - it was Season 1 and those contestants had no idea that their lives could actually be impacted on a huge scale by their participation.)

All humbled along the way by a Quick Fire here, a final dinner failure there.  They came back for this All Star season, and although their personalities had mellowed along the way (becoming a social pariah has a way of doing that to a person as a result of their own douchebaggery, especially when helped by editing), they fell out of the competition one by one.

That's ok - they will do fine.  They may not have redeemed themselves in the world of TV noshdom, but they came off MUCH better as people this time around.  

This season has seen its share of sniping, griping, put downs, and knives in the back, but one contestant has taken bad behavior to new lows:  Mike Isabella - the portly smartass who is so convinced of his own mastery, that his comeuppance - when it comes, and it will - will be a thing of absolute beauty.

Last night's episode showed RIchard sharing his "idea book" at the breakfast table.  In it was a recipe, picture, etc of a dish involving a chicken oyster (apparently each chicken has two of these dark meat nuggets where the thigh attaches to the rest of the bird).  In typical unique "Blaze" thinking, he had crafted a recipe and presentation that involved an actual oyster shell.

Enter the Quickfire Challenge and Paula Butter-Runs-Through-Her-Veins Deen.  Deep fry something.

Cute challenge - interesting ideas (Richard's nitro frozen mayo balls) - until Mike set to plagiarizing the very idea and recipe he had seen in Richard's book that morning.

He won the Quickfire and the accompanying $5000.

All the while gloating to the cameras like a schoolyard bully about where he got the idea.

You'd have to see the episode to understand the level of distaste his behavior and subsequent shit eating groat (grin + gloat) left in the mouths of viewers.

But karma is sweet, Mikey.  Several things will now happen.  Or rather WON'T.  You will fall into the crevasse soon (the remaining chefs are far superior to you to begin with).  You will (and ARE) be reamed out across the web and viewed with open disdain by chefs far better and more famous than you will ever be.

And you WON'T be walking into any offers of TV shows, your own olive oil, endorsements deals, etc.  No company, aside from Massengil maybe, wants what you have to offer.

In short Mike - you may have won $5000, but in the end you will lose badly.  No one likes an asshole or buys their line of pans.

To bend a culinary pun at your expense?

Your douche is cooked.

Jamie Update

Jamie is still in the hospital - she did her stress test yesterday and will hopefully receive positive news today.

Please keep sending love and light her way.

 

Time To Celebrate Brigette!

Heart To Heart

DGMSer Jamie is in the hospital - the cardiac care wing to be exact.

After having chest pains, she did what is unfortunately rare for women (we still tend to think of men as having the monopoly on ticker problems), she listened to her body and went to the ER.

They have been running tests, which have thankfully been coming back negative, but she is scheduled for a stress test this afternoon.  She has promised to keep us all updated.

In the meantime, send some love, good vibes, energy, and heart hugs her way.  We love you, Jamie!!!!

Miscarriage of Justice

These days it seems that no 24 hour period rolls by without my eyes rolling right along with it.

The constant hypocrisy, lunacy, and push for a theocracy in this country is becoming more than just a thorn in the side of those of us who appreciate reason, logic, critical thinking skills, and THE CONSTITUTION.

The politicians who talk out of one side of their mouth about their beloved founding fathers - without truly understanding a thing they stood for; the ones who cherry pick the US Constitution without ever having fully read it, much less comprehended what is within; and the ones who never stop inserting their God into every utterance, proclamation, decision, and proposed bill are very real threats to everything this country was ever founded upon.

It's bad enough that willfully ignorant people like Sarah Palin, Michelle Bachmann, and Sharon Angle have a national stage from which to spout their nonsense.  But what is worse is that they have an audience of equally dim followers who disdain education as elite, and embrace the word salad and historical revisionism in which these people deal.

I am most concerned by this growing push towards a theocracy - a government in which religion - A religion - would dominate every decision, every law, every life.

FOUR WORDS: Separation of church and state - instituted at the birth of this organized nation in order that people may choose, or not choose, to worship.  That people may choose to worship the god of their upbringing, their culture, or no god at all.  

That our government would respect the individual's right to pursue their chosen religion without interference, repercussion, or pressure.

Our founding fathers were men of faith, some were Deists, some did not believe at all.  They understood there were many other faiths in this world beyond that with which they were familiar, or that which they were fleeing.

And they had the wisdom to not only recognize that dynamic as being perfectly acceptable, but they had the foresight to insure that future generations would move forward as a society of Americans free to follow their own paths.

Yet at every turn these days, more and more politicians not only blur the lines of the very Constitution they have sworn to uphold and defend, but completely abolish those lines clearly separating the government from forcing a religious doctrine upon its citizenry.

I watch in astonishment as people shake their fists and scream about keeping government out of their lives- just this week Michelle Obama has been reamed out by the likes of Palin and Bachmann for daring to mention breastfeeding and its impact on future childhood obesity.  They ridicule her and somehow demonize her words as somehow insinuating the government telling people what to do with their babies.

(Here's some more of that good old fashioned hypocrisy and Palin's ongoing ignorance about people remembering things:  Back when she was governor, she declared October 2007 as Breastfeeding Awareness Month.)

Yet those same folks who cry about government involvement in their decision making, think nothing of inserting themselves and insisting government insert itself into other people's lives when it suits their religious purposes.

Yes, I am talking about abortion.

If you don't want one, fine, don't have one.  But don't you dare elevate yourself to some position of authority over someone else who makes the choice to have one.

IT'S NONE OF YOUR DAMNED BUSINESS.  AND IT CERTAINLY IS NONE OF THE GOVERNMENT'S BUSINESS.

And if that chaps your religious ass or makes your Bible twitch in your hands?  I. DON'T.  CARE.

YOUR religious beliefs are just that.  YOURS.  They are not mine, nor am I required to follow the doctrine you were raised under, or the religion you have chosen to follow as an adult.

My body is MY body.  YOUR body is YOUR body.  It is not up to me to decide what you do with YOUR body.

Yet today, another politician - a truly stellar one at that - one that the willfully ignorant of this land will fall all over themselves to embrace, has stepped up to declare not only dominance, but decision making rights over my reproductive system.  Embrace him they will, and why not?  He is a far right Christian conservative, and his "higher education" is in Bible Studies:  Georgia State Representative Bobby Franklin.  (He is also the braintrust behind a 2011 bill which referred to drivers licenses as "oppressive times" and that there is nothing wrong with a 12 year old driving on Georgia highways.  Can't have that gubmint telling us what to do now, can we?)

Not only does his bill issue a resounding FUCK YOU to the Supreme Court and the Roe vs Wade decision, it stipulates that all "prenatal murder" be prosecuted, AND (here's where it gets really good) all miscarriages must be reported, recorded and PROVEN.

Yes, that's right.  If you have a miscarriage, you'd better be able to prove Mother Nature made the decision, not you.

As a woman I am incredulous.  He cannot possibly be serious. As a woman who suffered the physical and emotional pain of a miscarriage, I am enraged, and I am offended.  

A miscarriage is a loss not only of the pregnancy, but in our case, it was the loss of every dream we had dreamed from the moment the test showed a plus sign.  Rudy and I wanted to be pregnant.  We were ready to be pregnant, to start our family.  We were beyond excited when the test was positive.  From that moment we planned, we talked about names, imagined the first moment we would hold our child, their first steps, their first loves, what college they would attend, the moment we would watch him/her get married, give us grandchildren.

And all of it came crashing down around us when I began to bleed.  All we knew was fear.  When the ultrasound confirmed no heartbeat where there had been one only a week before, all we knew was devastation, emotional annihilation.

We were sent home to allow nature to take its course.  We were sent home to mourn.  And mourn we did.  We cried enough tears to never have to shed another in this lifetime.  Lakes of tears, oceans of tears.  And when what had to pass from my body passed, we cried even harder.  And then we found a special, beautiful spot on Kauai, and buried our hopes, our dreams, our first baby.

At no point in the process was there a spot for politicians who would deign to tell us we had to prove we hadn't made it happen.  At no point in our grieving was there room for holier-than-thou legislators to intrude upon our pain.  At no point was it anyone's business but ours, and our doctor's.

That this pathetic excuse for a human being could draft a piece of shit so heinous, so bereft of any understanding of what a miscarriage means to so many lives daily?  He deserves a special place in the hell in which he so fervently believes.

Miscarriages happen.  Daily.  To some, multiple times.  Many miscarriages happen before a woman even realizes she is pregnant.  And I'll be damned if any woman should have to prove her heartbreak is real just to avoid prosecution at the hands of religious zealotry run amok.

His bill also requires anyone with knowledge of the pregnancy to be interviewed for their "take" on the proceedings.  Insider info as it were.  Was the woman/couple happy?  Fight a lot?  Pregnancy planned?  Divorce in the offing?

Here's thought, asshole - STAY THE FUCK OUT OF WHAT DOES NOT CONCERN YOU.

I don't care what chapel you were raised in, what religious doctrine you follow, what book you take as gospel truth - YOU DO NOT HAVE THE RIGHT TO INSERT IT INTO MY LIFE, MUCH LESS MY UTERUS.

Will this piece of crap pass?  Highly doubtful.  But it doesn't matter.  THIS is what is poisoning our government.  THIS is what wants to rewrite the United States Constitution.  THIS is what people need to fear.

Not Al Qaeda.  Not Islam.  Not illegal immigration.

Our biggest enemies are already here.  And just as Sinclair Lewis predicted...

Wrapped in a flag and carrying a Bible.

IRL With DeDe!

It was short, but it was sweet.

DeDe and her friend, Lola, decided to head to the Austin area for some shopping on Saturday, and the stars aligned in such a way that 3 of the Sharps actually had a small window of free time to meet up with them for lunch.  :O)

While Culley and Kendall worked a tournament, Rudy, Carson and I enjoyed lunch at Califonia Pizza Kitchen with DeDe and Lola.  And it was the best kind of IRL - not awkward, not stilted, just a natural extension of having known someone for years and finally stepping out of the virtual and into the real.

We laughed, we shared, and then we had to say goodbye.  With the complete understanding that we live FAR TOO CLOSE TO NOT DO IT MORE OFTEN.

Carson took the only picture of DeDe and I, so I will add it when she gets home from school, but for now, here are some DeDe sent me of she, Deja, and Lola modeling their flarfage!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

P.S.

For anyone wondering why I have not written about Debbie's visit?  Honestly, no reason in particular.  She came, got dragged around in the minivan a lot, we made a midnight run across Texas to Rudy's resort for next morning massages before heading back for more soccer, spent a fabulous long lunch with Natala, then she was gone and I plunged headfirst into a tournament weekend.  :O)

Here is one of the only pictures, but that's OK, she and Martha are family, so I know we'll have more opportunities to take pics again soon!