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Wednesday, April 28, 2010


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I can't stand the way wakes have been turned into cocktail parties without the drinks.

So I want my body to be mechanized so that at the height of the socializing I will rise up, turn my head and a pre-recording of my voice will say "How can I rest in peace if you people won't shut up!?" Then I lay back down.

The only noise I want is wailing and keening. Not "Blanche! You look great! What have you been doing since I saw you at Joe's wake? Let me show you a picture of my dog."

this is nothing. i've told my friends countless times... when i die, i want to be stuffed and posable. i want to be put on rollerskates so they have to wheel me around everywhere they go. i want my face to be animatronic (sp?) so i can have different expressions and be a good part of the conversation even when i'm no longer here. i don't think that's too much to ask is it?

I guess with a joint in one hand and a bottle of Tequila in the other wearing a System Of A Down t-shirt, ripped jeans and over the top cowboy boots.
Tracy, I have George's ashes and have considered taking them with me the next time I get a tattoo. They put just a pinch into the ink, and I personally think that's a very touching tribute. Of course I'm a little left of normal. =;-D

Lori in TX - I was wondering the same thing. Gruesome minds think alike. ;~)

no funeral for me, maybe a party on the beach would be nice. i want to be cremated (i don't care what i'm wearing since it will burn to smithereens anyway) and my ashes scattered in the ocean, preferably waikiki beach. it's where i grew up and spent some of the most pleasant moments of my life.

Color me gruesome, but I want to know how they're holding his head up. Rigor mortis goes away within 24 hours after death, so that's not it. And there's nothing under his chin propping his head up. What'd they do... bolt his skull to a steel frame and stick the baseball cap over it??? Inquiring minds want to know....

That is awesome! What a way to celebrate his (very short) life!

I have instructed my kids to cremate me (I'm afraid of the dark and have threatened to haunt them if they bury me!). I want my ashes divided amongst my children, grand-children and hopefully, great-grandchildren and my urn(s) placed on top of, or next to the T.V.. I also want them to put them on the table at family get-togethers. I love my T.V. and I love cooking for and hosting parties! I want to be dressed in a formal gown and the sexiest, strappy-sandals they can find (I'm sure your feet don't hurt in Heaven) because as much as I love my sweats, I REALLY enjoy getting all dolled up for weddings and such.

Just cremate me and spread my ashes in the mountains somewhere!

My husband and I both want to be cremated, but if I were to be embalmed it would have to be in my leather chair with a book and a glass of sweet tea.

Tracy in Cincy - the tattoo idea is awesome!!!

I have always told my kids that I want to be creamated and some of my ashes are to go into some sort of locket for them so they can have me with them. My youngest daughter says she is going to put some of my ashes into tattoo ink and have a tat put on her somewhere with me in it. I know some of you may think that's creepy, but I have seen it done and it is quite cool. The rest of my ashes can be scattered in my garden, my daylillies can always use some extra fertilizer.

I dont want any "poses" - a normal casket viewing is fine - BUT...thats where normal will stop. As I want my viewing to be a party. I want all MY favorite music played (rock, disco, R & B etc...) I want food & drinks - I want people to remember me and what a fun person I was - laughing & smiling, not all weepy. I always say when I leave this earth - I will have slid into my casket sideways, a drink in one hand shouting Woo-Hooo....that was one hell of a ride!

Hmmmm never thought about this, but my favorite thing to do is puttering around in my garden taking care of my lilies. Do you think the embalming stuff they use would preserve you if you were left outside for long periods of time? I do live in NY, so the cold winters might be okay, but it gets rather hot and sticky in the "dead" of the summer...so I'm not sure - would I run the risk of melting all over my garden? On the plus side, I'd scare away all those freeking chipmunks that are eating my lily bulbs (might also scare the neighbors tho)

I would represent best, lounging, reading a Stephen King book, with a bag of red licorice next to me and kitties scattered about me sleeping.

I prefer to be cremated and put in a turquoise laden urn though.

My mother passed away earlier this year and I was kind of surprised and happy at how the early grief at the wake turned into a joyful family reunion atmosphere after a few hours. I suspect many wakes wind up like that with relatives and friend who haven't seen each other in years catching up and remembering the good times with the deceased. My husband, who had not been to many wakes and was a little nervous about it, remarked that after a while you kind of forgot about the dead body in the room. I still think these posed bodies are a bit much for me, but I wouldn't be against a blender full of margaritas being fixed in the background with some snacks passed around.

I actually think that is way less creepy than laying in a casket. Maybe I should forward to my husband and say "this is what I want" LOL (I have a motorcycle much like this one).

But really what I would want for the viewing if there was to be one (I want to be cremated) is for me to be all decked out in my Dallas Cowboys gear with clips of the Dallas Cowboys playing on the TV nearby...

Hmm to capture my personality? Parked in front of this Mac w/ iPod buds in my ears, a mouse in one hand, diet coke open by the monitor and a cigarette in the ashtray beside the coke. Webpage open would most likely be Fandom_Wank on journalfen.

I'd be sitting on the first baseline of AT&T Park watching a Giants game!!!

I actually think this is kid of cool, especially since he's got sunglasses on, to hide any creepy, vacant stare. I can imagine that this active young man would look rather out of place in a casket wearing a suit. Why not let his friends remember him like he wanted to be seen in life? Strange...YES, but I'll bet David is pleased with his family's choice. Kudos to the funeral home for doing such an awesome job of recreating a lifelike stance.

My family will probably bury me with my computer mouse in one hand and a box of Godiva chocolates in the other!

Hell no! That is creepy.

I would look like a hunchbacked version of Popeye peering through the back of my camera that is on it's tripod. Dead sexy, people.

My husband says that he wants to be "presented" in his recliner with his Bears shirt & sweats on, covered up with his Bears blanket with a cup of Welch's grape juice and his smokes and oh yeah, the remote, near by. I haven't really thought to much about it myself.

Um...this is just a little strange. Although, some may think my final wishes are strange. I have made arrangements to have little baggies of my ashes as well as a Disney ticket given to anyone that wants to participate and agrees to scatter me somewhere on the Disney property. If I know my family, the Haunted Mansion will be quite dusty after my demise...

Dead dude on a motorcycle. Very cool. Kudos to his family for being so creative and thinking (ha-ha) out of the box.

I suppose when I croak, it would be most appropriate to put me out in the garage in my chair, with a big, fat book on my lap, a cigarette between my fingers, and a caffeine-free Diet Coke in a koozie on the table beside me.

In my pajamas, on the couch. Bag of Oreos in one hand and the remote in the other.

Incidentally, my husband knows that I wish to be cremated in my jammies with a bag of Oreos. Basically, I want Oreos to be involved somehow. :)

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