Slap Happy or Sex Offenders?

I have been watching the case of two middle school boys, Corey Mashburn and Ryan Cornelison, of McMinnville, Oregon, who were arrested back in February and are facing the possibility of extended jail time (juvenile detention facility), and being branded as sex offenders.

Their crime?

Molestation? Rape? Bestiality? (It’s a fair question – after all, I have documented for you the many cases of that type taking place up in the Northwest...)

No. Not even close.

It seems they were busted for some hallway hijinks.

They, like many of the girls and boys in their school, routinely slap other girls and boys on the ass when passing in the hallways.

It’s an admitted form of "hello", a "secret handshake", if you will, among their peers.

Appropriate? No. I'm not defending it.  And when taken out of context, absolutely not.

Yet the number of kids who regularly indulged in this sign language are many, too many to count, and far more than the peers who have come forward defending the boys and admitting they, too, get slap happy between classes – meaning no harm.

But a couple girls did take offense at being swatted, and the ensuing fallout ended with Corey and Ryan being taken away from their school in handcuffs.

Court papers filed said the boys touched the buttocks of several girls, and also that Cory touched a girl's breasts. But police reports filed state that other students, both boys and girls, routinely slapped each other on the bottoms.

OK – again, do I think the behavior is appropriate? No. If full grown men want to smack each other’s asses on the football field, have at it. But a bunch of hormone laden 13 year olds who have all seen too many episodes of The Real World and MTV Spring Break? Keep your hands to yourself, please.

And the breast thing? Not kosher at all.

But do I think this needs to be handled in a courtroom? Do I agree these boys should be branded and forced to register as sex offenders?

You bet your bottom dollar I don’t.

What you have here is an unacceptable, questionable behavior that became accepted (by most) because of regular use. None of the kids who have come forward have really defended it as being a "good" idea, but none of them have said they did it to make another student feel threatened – if anything, it was done to convey just the opposite.

Quite frankly, given the frequency of use, and the number of kids doing it, my bigger question is Where were the teachers who are supposed to police the halls during class changing?

The school is missing out on a golden opportunity to talk in real world terms to their students about the behavior. To talk about why, in this day and age, things like this – even if the majority thinks it’s ok, are not ok because someone might take offense.

And the only other people who should be involved in this are the parents of all the kids – not the police, the judges, or a jury.

The education needs to start at home. Respect for other’s privacy, personal space, and feelings should be preached as often as "brush your teeth" and "say Please and Thank you".

Sadly they are not.

With three daughters, believe me, I hear about the antics in the classrooms and hallways. I know how frisky kids get, the double entendres they like to throw around, the sexual innuendo that is a part of the hallway vernacular.

Part of it is simply puberty playing out. They are testing the waters of their sexual feelings and new awakenings. It’s to be expected - within reason.  Wedgies?  Have been around forever.  Bra strap snapping and joking about being able to see it through a girl's shirt?  That's practically a rite of passage.

But some kids do cross the line. Some kids – boys and girls alike – "push up" (I’m using a term from my daughter) on other students, being overtly sexual, making advances that are neither solicited or well received.

Those are the students who do need taken to the office. Those are the ones who need the reprimand, whether from other students in the hallways (peer pressure can be used for good, not just evil), or from the principal via detention or suspension.

Personally, I have taught my daughters about personal space, appropriate touching, and physical violations since they were two. And anyone who would dare to "push up" on one of them will quickly find themselves eating their locker or clutching their "violated gonads" facedown on the floor.

But back to Corey and Ryan.

When they were taken out in handcuffs, they were initially charged with five counts of felony sex abuse and spent several days in detention. They also were temporarily suspended from school.

At a court hearing, however, two of the girls recanted, saying they never felt threatened or inappropriately touched by the boys. (I have a feeling they never envisioned their complaint would get this out of hand either.)

The judge then released the boys, but barred them from school and required that they be subject to constant adult supervision.

Due to public outcry, hundreds of emails and phone calls, and a lot of bad press, the district attorney has backed off - the felony charges have been dropped and the DA is now saying probation would be an "appropriate punishment".

But the boys, if convicted at an Aug. 20 trial, still face the possibility of some jail time or registering for life as sex offenders.

Criminalizing normal adolescent behavior is not the answer. We’re talking about behaviors that have existed since the first hard-on. Behaviors that need to be discussed, decoded, and modified by parental involvement and open discussion.

Both Corey and Ryan admit that what they were engaging in was wrong, they see that now. They also have apologized to those who were offended – that was never their intent.

But do they need jail time and to be tagged with the worst title in our society - "sex offender"?  That term needs to be saved for true criminals, for those who prey upon children, rape innocent joggers, molest neighbors, and violently violate another person's body.

Those are sexual predators, offenders.  Does that sound like the right title for two kids who smacked a few booties?

No.

But there is a district attorney who could use a couple good wallops – one slap upside his ass, and another hard one, right upside his overzealous head.

Comments

[Alison]

If the girls in this school are really offended by a kid slapping their bum, do what my father always told me to do. (This is almost a direct quote) "If any male, no matter what age, no matter who they are, touches you in a way you feel is inappropriate, you need to pick up the nearest 2x4, book, whatever you can find, or your own 2 fists and lay them out." I've only had to use this is advice once, but that particular person never messed with me again. I told the teachers who saw my retaliation what this kid did to me and I didn't get in trouble. He did though. And it was all handled by the principal and assistant principals of my school.

Something of this nature never should have made it passed the school. They could have taken care of this situation without it going to court. Again, were the boys wrong? Of course. But they aren't sex offenders by any means. Especially if the girls have stated that they didn't feel threatened. Those girls should have just turned around and clocked the kid in the jaw. That'll show 'em...

[Gladys in NC]

This is just another example of our children not being taught right from wrong. Those girls should never have allowed something so innocent to be taken so out hand. Those two boys don't look like they could hurt a fly. Our country is going to hell in a handbasket and the lawyers are the biggest reason why! We have real criminals on the street and they want to pursue this????? GIVE ME A FREAKING BREAK!!!!! These boys need to go back to study hall, not be labeled sexual predators (they in all truth probably have never even has sex!).

[mommy2Kimberly&Riley]

I have conflicting opinions on this issue. Were the boys wrong...well yeah, just as wrong as any boy who's popped a bra-strap. Was it overtly sexual or threatening? Hell no. There's a HUGE difference in slapping a fanny and almost drowning a young woman while trying to cop a feel. I think the problem in America is that we are not engaging the gray matter enough to point out the differences from one to the other. The boys didn't deserve anything more than maybe a detention. The girls involved need to suck it up and start standing up for themselves, as opposed to just whining to somebody that they were "offended". Let's face it, if a boy who looked like Brad Pitt smacked their fannies...nobody would know this stuff is happening. I'm sorry, but America has enough true predators without us trying to label some pre-teen kids for something that started out innocent and considered the norm. Let's hope that all involved grow up and beging making better choices...starting with the D.A.

[gieneh]

When my daughter was 14, she took to going to school dressed in huge oversized sweatshirts and baggy jeans. It was a real departure from her usual kind of preppy style but it took her being assaulted and nearly drowned in the school pool by a male member of her co-ed swim team before I found out why. The assault took place at the end of practice while the coach was wrapping up. The boy dragged her down in the deep end of the pool and tried to get his hands inside her swimsuit. He held her down, dragging at her suit, until she nearly drowned and two of her teammates ran for the coach. This assault was the culmination of an escalating trend of boys in the halls "pushing up on" the girls, to use your daughter's phrase, grabbing breasts and other assorted body parts to the extent that the girls, my daughter included, began covering themselves in excess clothing just to avoid attention. Where were the teachers, you'll ask. Oblivious. Until the assault in the pool, when I finally heard about the whole sordid mess from a 14-year old girl who was so traumatized, she was terrified that I would take action at the school. After much discussion of her rights, and the rights of the other girls, we went together to the principal (who first tried to pass the whole thing off as "boys being boys", until I threatened to report the assault and the hallway gropings to the police). The end result was the suspension of the boy, who was also dropped from the swim team for the remainder of his HS career. The larger result was the establishment of an awareness program in the school, with support from the local state police, on appropriate and inappropriate touching. Should the 16 yr. old boy who assaulted my daughter have been arrested as a sex offender? I don't know. Would he have thought he could get away with the assault in the pool if it wasn't already considered acceptable behavior in the hallways? I don't think so. Would getting away with the assault lead him to believe he could rape or brutalize a woman later in his life, and increase the possibility of even worse acts in his future? I don't know the right answers here but I do know that the actions we took had a significant impact on the school's POV and vigilance and my daughter, who was so afraid of the consequences of speaking out against this practice, turned out to have the gratitude of the girls and the respect of the boys for the remainder of her time in HS.

Sorry for the long post - this just struck a chord with me.

[Nikki]

Pretty soon looking at someone cross eyed is going to qualify as a crime because it offends someone. We sure are turning into a nation of the easily offended. What's more alarming is that what used to be handled by schools and parents is now being handled by the law. George Orwell may have just been a few decades off when he wrote 1984...

[Darrell]

If you investigate the Oregon Revised Statutes under ORS 419B.035 does not have any definition for the behavior these two young men exhibited and have been charged for. Abuse requires some form of physical harm or threat. The Police officer Marshal Roache has not been disciplined for first Mirandizing these two boys, which suggests he was arresting them, and then interrogating them without their parents being present. That violates every concept of due process of law of a minor. Second, lets not leave out the fact that not only is D.A. Brad Berry running this circus he has his deputy Debra Markham assisting him with pursuit of this egregious criminal complaint. This has all the political correctness of a D.A. looking for new career political goals. Maybe he is considering a run for a judicial seat? Or, something else to promote his career. Much like the North Carolina Mike Nifong Duke Rape case fiasco here we have a lawyer filing charges that are not supported by statute. I personally filed a complaint against both attorneys with the Oregon State Bar recently. Unfortunately, our state Bar is a joke. They will probably do nothing except protect the status quo. One of their own misfits. My personal position as a former legal assistant and private investigator is that these two attorneys in on the public payroll have abuse their authority and discretion by bringing these charges. Neither of the girls was punished for false swearing or lying about what happened in the incident. Typical politically incorrect inequality based upon gender. If the shoes were on the other foot and two boys complained about getting their genitality touched or a girl asking him how large his penis was, nothing would have happened to the girls would be my bet. This type of outrageous attention only happens when a female is involved. This incident received worldwide attention. What a waste of people's time.

[audreyf]

My husband was just saying the other day, how many times he and his friends ran down the halls of his high school doing the very same thing. They thought it was hilarious! He was a 4.0 student at the time and is now an engineer--just think of what would have become of him if he had been labeled a "sex offender". In the end, they ended up apologizing, even though they weren't sorry--and no one was injured or "scarred for life". When I was in school, we had a game called "bone-in-the-butt-assassins" just don't DARE get caught bending over to retrieve something out of the bottom of your locker, lest someone walk up and pretend to "bone" you! I guess we all would have been locked up! It was a scream and again, no one was hurt, although I do believe the boys got WAY more out of it than the girls!

[MPolo]

I bet ya' anything, these two boys were viewed as "geeks" by the girls they offended. Bet ya' anything, that if they were jock, model types, the girls might have been flattered, especially if it took place in front of a few jealous peers.

Don't get me wrong: I'm hardly advocating unsolicited physical contact of any kind. I'm simply reflecting back to 10 (okay 25+..lol) years ago, when hallway antics between classes was the norm, and unless someone was literally getting the tar beat out of them, no one even much noticed. A time also when peer groups didn't much converse outside of their cliques, or faced being judged themselves for doing so. A time before ppl were lawsuit happy, and could keep things in better perspective.

For these boys' sakes, I hope this all gets dropped, since it is obviously a gross dereliction of the laws. And to the girls who complained, I surely hope their claims were legit. One would have to be suspicious though of the remaining girls, since a few of them recanted themselves already.

[Katy]

Oh for GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD's sake!! This is the most outrageous thing I have ever heard. But again, it's LAWYERS. First Linda, totally agree with you, this should have been handled by parents, teachers, etc. TALKING, not involving the criminal justice system. Christ, there's some REAL sexual offenders (the guy that repeatedly raped a 6 year old - can't remember the place, but you know what I'm talking about) and the judge gave him 6 months in prison. And these boys smacking bottoms could get the same???!!!! My son and his friends (11 year olds) give each other wedgies, smack butts, fart on each other, burp in each other's face - - What the hell is wrong with people.

[Angie]

Also, can you imagine what would happen nowadays for "mooning?"

[Angie]

I completely agree with Cindy. It is a slap in the face to real victims.

[Cindy in Texas]

With more and more idiotic cases like this happening, the term "sexual offender" will lose it's effect. People will started wondering, when they see that a person is a "sexual offender" if that really is the case. The justice system will be the big loser.

[Sue, Sacramento]

Wow Linda...just think of how many boys we could have gotten expelled for snapping our bra straps in the 7th grade!!!!!