American Idol Results Recap, Wednesday, March 21: Stephanie Edwards: You Don't Have To Say You Love Me, But Your Votes Sure Would Have Been Nice

I am a big supporter of a person’s right to protest. Freedom of speech, freedom of expression, freedom to take a stand for or against an issue that gets under your skin.

Whether it’s genocide in Darfur, the war in Iraq, PETA, or global warming, worthy causes have legions of people rallying behind them to keep their specific issue in the spotlight and bring more people to the fight.

And face it, without people willing to sacrifice, skip work to hold banners and signs, pass petitions, and participate in peace keeping/humanitarian missions, many issues, and in many cases the people they affect, would die from neglect.

But sometimes a protest seems ill fated from the start.

Let’s say a group decides to boycott lima beans. They make signs. They gather outside a grocery store here and there. And then what?

No one really gives a damn because, quite frankly, lima beans aren’t anyone’s best friend, and people are too busy laughing at the protesters.

Well, courtesy of a tip from regular blog visitor Jacquie, I would like to introduce you to someone who has launched a protest which makes the Coalition Against The Satanic Paste That Is The Lima Bean look worthy of international attention.

The person? "J", a 23 year old woman from New York.

The name of her cause? Starvation For Sanjaya.

The upshot? She has launched a grassroots campaign (beginning with herself, but quickly gathering speed via YouTube converts) to wage a hunger strike until America pulls its collective head out of its ass and votes Sanjaya Malakar off American Idol.

I’ll pause while you laugh amongst yourselves...

Ready for me to continue? Good...

As you’ll see in her YouTube video below, she is serious about her cause and thoughtful in stating her case. And while currently she may not be full of food, she is certainly full of %$@#.

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Listen, you all know how I feel about young Mr. Malakarpel Tunnel Singdrome. I don’t think he should have made it into the Top 24, I don’t think he should be sharing the stage with the likes of Jordin, Blake and Melinda, and I certainly don’t think he should have ever usurped Sundance for a spot in the final 12.

But I also don’t deny his appeal to a very specific demographic – little Ashley Abdul, ring a bell?

I rewatched his Kinky performance from Tuesday night, I studied the tears of joy streaming down the face of Ashley as he not only sang to her, but embraced her afterwards. And you know what? He’s really not so different than all the idiots I worshipped growing up.

Shaun Cassidy wasn’t exactly Pavarotti, but man, I loved his feathered hair, Pearl Drops smile, and Da Do Ron Ron-edness. Same with his half sibling David – hair, eyes, smile, breathy vocals. When David sang "We gotta get outta this place...", I had my Holly Hobby suitcase packed and waiting by the door. And Davy Jones? I’m with blog commenter Susan in PA – he still melts my cardiac butter.

On the vocal Richter scale, none of these guys were exactly earth shaking, but they had "it", whatever "it" happens to be that grants a young man access to the wallspace in a young girl’s bedroom.

And teeny bopper Sanjaya, whether we adults understand it or not, has "it" in spades, clubs, diamonds and yes, the hearts of millions of little girls.

So to "J" and her small cadre of disciples – I hope you had a big lunch before you decided to go all Ghandi and start this ridiculous protest of yours because, 1.) No one really cares, 2.) I may not enjoy his lapping my TV with his tongue, but I’m certainly not giving up Twinkies to send him packing, and 3.) He’s simply not going anywhere for some time to come. Ashley and the Hannah Montanas of the country will see to that.

Oh, and one last thing, J. Please look around and find a cause worth starving for. Darfur obviously comes to mind. But check out that lima bean thing too, because those Satanic little pods are just way grosser than any tongue wagging poor Sanjaya may do.

Now, let’s get some results, shall we?

~~~~~~~

Ahhhhh, thirty minutes.

I am a huge advocate of the half hour results show, however, they do tend to be like a flash fire. They happen quickly, scorch your retinas, and leave you breathless – so I will do my best to catch it all for you as they throw some fame retardant on another hopeful’s dreams of glory.

As the lights swept back and forth across the assembled contestants – smiles on their faces not because they were happy, but because their mouths were so dry with nerves that their teeth were stuck to their lips – Ryan reminded us that "Last night we lost ourselves in the 60’s. Tonight one of our finalists is heading back to reality."

And of course...THIS. IS. AMERICAN. IDOL.

I have to pause a moment to ask. Do you think there is ever anyone watching who hears him say that and actually goes, "What?!? I thought this was the National Geographic documentary on endangered moss in the Amazonian rainforest!?!? Crap! Quick, change the channel!"

But I digress...

Ryan took the stage dressed in his usual somber, Wednesday night Dream-Dashing-Duds – a dark suit and tie. The judges, however, knowing the cameras won’t be on them near as much as on a Tuesday, all but show up in their pajamas. Randy was wearing a white Hanes T and a V neck with an octopus thrown over the shoulder; Paula continued the underwater theme, decked out in what looked like golden seaweed; Simon just rolled out of bed and showed up in a gray night shirt and JEANS.

A quick video recap of last night’s nostaligia-fest – made mercifully short with the fast forward button on my remote – and it was time to welcome last night’s male guest mentor to the stage: Peter Noone of Herman's Hermits fame.

What can I say? The guy is just so damned likable. He came out on stage, all smiles, singing There’s A Kind Of Hush – a truly seasoned performer, but then he has been singing that song nonstop since 1967 in every nightclub and Indian reservation casino possible. Don’t believe me? You can catch him April 7 at the Riverwind in Oklahoma, and he has a three night set April 11-13 at the Potawatomi Casino in Wisconsin, just to name a few of his listed concert dates.

He was decked out in a satin jacket, perfectly matched to his cheery blue eyes, a striped shirt and dress pants, and he sounded so much like the original recording, I could not help but be impressed. I actually found that when he got to the final "Huuuuusssssshhhhh", that I didn’t want him to – I was really enjoying watching him.

Hmmm...where’s the nearest Indian casino to Austin, Texas???

AFTER. THE. BREAK. We slammed headfirst into the weekly selling of the kids’ souls to Ford. This time the video was set at a laundromat as they sang Another Saturday Night.

Ok – you people all know where I stand with these shameless dances with the devil – but even I have to admit that I didn’t actually mind this one. Usually they chafe like a sandpaper thong, but watching Melinda handspring along the washing machines and all of them frolic in the suds – I found myself smiling.

That sneaky devil...

Assembled on the couches, the kids had a visitor – Brad Garrett of the new show Till Death. Look, it’s bad enough when the audience is routinely littered with actors from every FOX show the network is trying to pimp, but to now allow one to crawl UP onto the stage?

Can we get on with this?

The lights went down, Brad was voted off the island, and Ryan turned to the kids, assembled on the Stardom Snuffing Sofas thusly:

Back Row: Chris S, Kiki, Phil-Take-Off-The-Damned-Hat Stacey, Stephanie, and Sanjaya

Front Row: Gina,Chris R, Melinda, Blake, Jordin, and Haley.

And what’s this? Ryan incorporated the newly devised lottery ticket scratch off method tonight! (Come on, you know you don’t scratch off those little silver spots in a neat row – you jump around)

Phil, Melinda, and Blake – Stand up. You are NOT in our bottom three tonight, so sit down, fall down, or lay down – you are SAFE.

I don’t believe I have ever seen a happier camper than Phil at that moment. To go from sucking hind tit in the bottom three last week, to owning the whole cow this week? Woo Hoo, for Phil.

Next to stand? Chris S, Lakisha, and Jordin.

Slight pause here to note that Chris’ Christian brethren back home have been vocal in the media of late – worried about his recent song choices – do you think they were heartened to see him wearing a crest with a skull on his shoulder? Just asking...

Lakisha actually looked scared as they all stood, but Ryan quickly allowed them to reclaim some cushion space – all were SAFE.

Next up – Sanjaya, Haley, and Gina – and yes, like you, I thought for sure at least two of them would be setting up shop at center stage – but Noooooooooo. They were all SAFE too! Not in our bottom three!

OK – at that point, every contestant on the stage, and every viewer in America broke out their mental calculators.

If Farmer Seacrest has eleven chickens, and he sends three to market, three to lay eggs, and three to get jiggy in the henhouse, how many chickens does that leave for dinner?

Dammit! I hate word problems.

Only Stephanie and Chris R were left to fill out a bottom three that tonight contained only two – crap. It must be that new math I’ve heard about...

Sadly, these two chicks will have to sweat it out through another commercial break, the weekly grifting of the viewers via the AI Challenge question, and a performance by female mentor Lulu, before finding out who gets served for dinner tonight.

This week’s question and the chance to win 10K, a trip to a Ford video shoot (I seriously need to win this), and the chance to have Nigel Lythgow breathing down your neck like last week’s winner Christy, was:

Which of these American Idols has recently been cast to star in The Color Purple on Broadway.

A. Fantasia

B. Smurfette Bennett

C. Vonzelle Solomon

D. 30 million people watch this show every week and know the answer to this question. You can see how much Nigel loves this new math. 99 cents multiplied by 33 million equals a new Lamborghini, four new villas in Paris, Rome, Costa Rica, and Bali, and another ZOOM whitening for my teeth! My God that man has teeth the color of a brand new toilet, doesn’t he?

Ryan then reminded everyone about the upcoming Idol Gives Back telethon, and again mentioned that AT&T and Coke have "promised a generous contribution", but no firm dollar amount. He then opened the sponsorships up to corporations, encouraging them to email [email protected].

Look, I think this is great and I hope they raise twice the amount of money they are predicting, but if Bill Gates wants to shunt some cash from Microsoft, I highly doubt he’s going to drop an email to an address flashed on his TV screen.

Moving on...

Ryan intro’d Lulu singing To Sir With Love, at least that’s who was supposed to be singing. At first the stage was bare, then someone began singing. Oh wait – the spaceship doors finally parted and there was Olivia Newton John coming up the steps.

Tell me she and Lulu don’t share the same face, or at the very least, the same plastic surgeon.

The woman was born in 1948 – that makes her almost 60 years old, and there was not a wrinkle to be found. She looked amazing. Dressed in a sparkly black piece of Astroturf with cut out shoulders, satin pants and heels, she took over the stage and reworked To Sir With Love into a real show stopper.

Her voice was strong and clear, but I did find I was momentarily distracted by her earrings. They were so big, I kept waiting for Bart Connor to mount her head and do an iron cross.

Seriously, like Peter Noone, the woman is a seasoned performer, age be damned, and she sounded great throughout the song, especially that huge finish. Twenty million of the people watching might not have clue one who she is, but they had to admire her vocal strength.

One more commercial break and we returned to find Stephanie and Chris R standing center stage with Ryan. He quickly recapped their performances and then announced that after 30 million votes, America would rather hear Chris R sing through his nose some more, and that Stephanie would now be watching her Idol Journey on the big screen.

She teared up as they played it, and I admit, it does get harder each week to watch them go. She handled it well as they showed her journey from the kitchen of her home to the big stage, tears silently making their way down her cheeks.

But look – the girl is stunning and can absolutely sing (not that she was given the chance tonight). We have definitely not seen the last of Stephanie Edwards. The world is wide open to someone that talented, beautiful, and grounded.  (Then again, I did say that about LaToya London also.  What was that?  Did you just say LaToya who?  For shame...good luck Stephanie...)

So that’s it for another week, kids. As I said, Sanjaya isn’t going away anytime soon. So "J", just in case you find that the hunger pains get out of control, I’ll leave a small snack here for you ... don’t worry. It’ll be our little secret.

(Hope you don't mind I had a little nibble.  I told you I like Twinkies...)

~~~~~~

** Photo Addendum to recap - lest you think I am off my rocker about the Sanjaya-Davy-Jones-Shaun Cassidy connection - think again.  Bring back any memories?

Da Doo Ran Ran Away With My Heart

I don't think - I KNOW I Love You!

The Star of all my Deep Purple Dreams

Shadow Dancing, anyone?

Man, he could fill out a pair of hiphuggers, couldn't he?

Robby Benson was always more Beauty than Beast, wasn't he?  I'd still build Ice Castles with him.

Made a Daydream Believer out of me...

He was made for dancin' and hanging on the wall, baby.

Get it now?  You'll have to excuse me...I am suddenly overcome with the need to go buy a Tiger Beat...

Comments

[coach sale]

Luckily to read your article,thank you. With very best wishes for your happiness in new day.

[Heather Reilley]

i just read that you was a fan of Andy Gibb i was and still am i have liked him sece i was 8 years old ihad him all over my walls as a kid my mom thought i was a little young too have a guy like Andy with them tight pants on hanging on my walls but i begged her too let him stay up and i seen every show on tv he was on or tryed too anyway thanks for bring back wonderfull memories for me

[Ginger]

Robby Benson is the most gorgeous and best to me. Check out our Robby website, it's the biggest one on the web today!:) Enjoy the memories!

[Sandy in NC]

I read the craziest thing in TV Guide about Hairjaya. All this time, we've been blaming the stylists for going to town on his mop-o-hair but the stylist said Hairjaya comes in every week knowing EXACTLY what he wants. Now either the stylist is embarassed that everyone HATES what they've done to this kid. OR, Hairjaya's back-up plan if singing and hula-hooping don't work out is to be Hair Stylist to the Stars.

P.S. to DeDe - it's called a bindi!

[DeDe]

Any guesses on Sanjaya's hairdo/outfit this week? My brother votes corn rows and wife beater. My sister-in-law says a mohawk, sleeveless shirt and prison tatts on his arms. I can't decide between Christina Aguilera during her dirty phase-hair with a Vin Diesel/Simon Cowell fitted Tee and leather pants or in honor of the guest judge herself, Gwen Stefani hot pink ponytail, Indian jewel on the forehead [sorry don't know what that is called, please help] with half shirt, belly button ring and low-rider jeans. Anyone else have ideas?

[Sandy in NC]

Damn, Blake should be singing Sunday Morning! And Melinda and Kiki are going to get boring really quick if they keep picking the same kinds of songs, especially Kiki...Chris R. - Bad song title - could EASILY make people think, Don't Sing...I Don't Care What You're Sayin', No I am not Playin, Don't Sing! Don't Sing!!!!

[Linda on tonight's song list]

For the record - I am familiar with each and every song on that list (no 311 faux pas this week) and I swear by all that is holy, if Sanjaya ruins that Maroon 5 song for me, I will shove flaming shiskabobs in my ears. They should go well with the fireplace pokers already in my eyes after watching Phil sing The Police...

[DeDe]

I'm betting right now that I will mute the tv AT LEAST 5 times during the performances tonight. Especially Fire Marshal Bill's selection. That is one of my fave songs ever [although it is sorta stalker-y] and if he ruins it, I may be forced to hunt him down. And Oh.My.God. if San-yawn-ya ruins Maroon 5 as bad as I think he will, I will just keel over. And I think my tv might actually melt. Course I won't notice cause my head will have exploded from the pain.

[Linda on tonight's song list]

Methinks me sees several opportunities for vocal carnage in this list...

[jamie]

spoiler alert!
for those of you who are interested here are tonights songs:
Lakisha Jones - “Love Has a Mind of It’s Own” by Donna Summer
Blake Lewis - “Love Song” by the Cure
Jordin Sparks - “Hey Baby” by No Doubt
Chris Richardson - “Don’t Speak” by No Doubt
Gina Glocksen - “Just Like A Pill” by Pink
Phil Stacey - “Every Breath You Take” by the Police
Haley Scarnato - “True Colors” by Cyndi Lauper
Sanjaya Malakar - “Sunday Morning” by Maroon 5
Melinda Doolittle - “Sunset People” by Donna Summer
Chris Sligh - “Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic” by the Police

[Beck]

Hey,
This artical did take me back to the 70's heart throbs!!!
I had my walls pasted with Donny, Jackson Five, Bobby Sherman,David Cassidy, even had one of Arnold, the body builder in Speedos.(Yikes!) I had this one of David Cassidy with his tongue sticking out....My Dad made me take it down.....he said it was vulger. HAhaha... How times have changed! BUT one thing that will never change....teenage girls love to have heart throbs!!!That's why the "SANDMAN" will go far in this IDOL. Just think of ALL the 8-16 year old GIRLS that will vote and spend their allowances on Mountain Dew and Pics of their NEW IDOL.
As for me, Melinda & Lekesha are the best crooners!

[MaryS-NJ]

Oh thank you for that skip down memory lane. I kept Donny Osmond in my bedroom when I was a wee Ashley. I had him - hanging from my ceiling and pinned against the wall. I spent my hard earned allowance on crack... I mean, Tiger Beat(R) magazine.

My daughter thinks Sanjaya is adorable. She also goes to bed before the voting starts so she's not really responsible for his continued presence on the show, but she'll weep when he's gone.

Stephanie is beautiful and talented, but she never really carved a niche for herself. It's a shame, but I wasn't not really surprised.

[Brad]

*sigh* I was so depressed to see Stephanie get booted over Sanjaya. MAYBE I could see Sanjaya as the next Doodlebop (now before you judge me for even KNOWING who the Doodlebops are, I had to suffer through the Disney Christmas parade this year at my aunt's house. If you're not familiar, here's the website: http://www.doodlebops.com), but AMERICAN IDOL? Never! Seriously, Sanjaya reminds me of every creepy kid who ever sang on Barney, right down to the depth of the emotion he conveys in his song delivery. Somebody please get this kid in a Disney parade and off American Idol!

[Sandy in NC]

Hey Marnie - Here's the actual title of J's video:
"Starvation for Sanjaya: A Hunger Strike"

[Marnie]

Krikey, I can't watch the video for some reason, and I'm about to throw a fit like no one's ever seen before...much like the blueberry girl from Willie Wonka. I just did a search on "J" and Sanjaya on youtube and cannot find it! Help!

Does anyone else think Leif bears a resemblance to Dana Plato from The Facts of Life?

I'm deeply saddened over Stephanie. Sanjaya is starting to take some legitimate people's spots and it's killing me!

[Sandy in NC]

Great news for Blakey-Poo - Goody's is having a Sale this weekend on ALL their Madras plaid!! He'll be SET for the season!!

It's amazing how we all can call up our teeny-bopper singing crushes so easily. I also had a thing for Willie Ames, Ralph Maccio & Parker Stevensen but the singing boys had my heart. I guess when you listen to their records (remember THOSE?) over and over, singing mushy love stuff, you can pretend they're singing to YOU and only for YOU! I was a little older when the Boy Bands hit it big, but NKOTB had the Right Stuff for me!

[Linda Sharp to Monikka]

"I had to bring my laptop to bed with me last night to read the recap before I turned in for the night."

I can think of no higher praise! Thank you!

[Monikka]

Oh no, my teenie/tweenie crush was on NKOTB! I had posters, shoelaces, t-shirts and even a pillow so I could go to sleep kissing the guys each night.

I swear to god that the minute my girls start swooning after the boy group du jour that I'm going to kill them!

Anyhoo, I was stunned at the group of three that included San-jay-jay getting the pass through to the next round. And yes, the math was faulty unless there was a tie for 3rd to the last no technically there was no one person who was in the 3rd to last place. That math error confused me for hours last night.

I, for one, am happy that my San-jay-jay is sticking around for a little while longer. I can't wait to see him once the extension whores get a hold of him. Hair Metal week is going to rock! Although I'm a little worried about Kiki and Linda doo when they have to pick a song from a genre that (most likely) they've never heard of.

Personally, I'd love to see Jordin bust out with "18 and life" from Skid Row or Cherry Pie from Warrant. I hope someone does "To Be With You" from Mr. Big -- another one of my favorites from that era.

I had to bring my laptop to bed with me last night to read the recap before I turned in for the night. Gosh, is it Tuesday yet????

[bradley]

I'm shocked you didn't mention that clip of peter noone playing in the background while ryan introduced him - OMG. Nice guy but was that necessary?

[Miranda]

I am so totally pissed that Stephanie was voted off instead of Chris. Yes I want Sanjaya to go BUT Chris would have done last night. I can't stand his nasally versions of every song...it makes me mute my television.

And Sanjaya's singing reminds me of nails on a chalkboard...I spend the entire 3 minutes cringing and praying for it to be over ASAP.

Oh well..guess I won't go to the AI tour any this year. I wonder how many seats they WOULD have sold if he wasn't in the top 10...this is futuristic of course, but nonetheless...I still wonder.

Great job as always, I read your blog every week. At work. Pisses my bosses off...especially when I read it to them. hehehe...they always laugh though. So no wonder I haven't gotten fired yet...I owe my job to you Linda!

[Lori in Texas]

Idiot moi... I forgot the hottiest of ALL ultimate hotties from the '70s...

REX SMITH.

(swoon-faint-swoon-sigh)

[bradley]

I'm shocked you didn't mention that clip of peter noone playing in the background while ryan introduced him - OMG. Nice guy but was that necessary?

[Cindy]

Linda, thanks for all your comments. I love this! I loved Donny and Jay of the Osmonds. I remember saving all my Tiger Beat magazines and cutting out all the pictures of them and literally taping them one by one, with no spaces on the walls of my bedroom. It took me all day. When I showed my parents, I remember my father just shaking his head and my mom trying not to laugh. Hey, I thought I was cool! As a young girl, wearing HOT PANTS to the Osmonds concert, sitting in the 6th row, knowing that Donny was singing just to me, I can remember what these "teeny boppers" are going through with Hairjaya. BUT Donny could really sing!!!

[skeattle]

"sucking hind tit in the bottom three last week, to owning the whole cow this week..."

thhhhmmpppppppppgggggggghhhh ...

I just threw up in my mouth...

[jamie]

omg randolph mantooth...HOTTY!
i just have to say that on 60mins they reported that simon makes over 60mil a year just from idol. so that means simon could just take 3mil of that $, give it to charity and write it off on his taxes, and then they wouldnt have to ask me for part of the $400 i make each and every week!
i also want to know where these donations are going to? maybe we could deal with some of the issues going on in our own country before feeding african children? (on a side note, i did hear that simon paid 41mil in taxes last year, so i guess in a way he is helping the US)

[marlo]

Hi Linda,

I'm new to the sign in- but not new to your site- I LOVE IT!!!!! I am so glad to know that there is someone else with the same sense of humor out there like me and my friends. I look forward to the next day- for your comments ;-) Keep it up ;-)

Every elimination night I go to my parents house to watch with my mom. Kinda like a cool bonding thing. I printed out the 'many faces' you did - showed it to my mom- she was crying with laughter with me. Lastnight (3/21/07)my jaw hit the floor when Stephanie got eliminated. My goodness, she had one 'not so good' night, and she gets booted over Chris, amazing.

The whole Sanjaya, little teen craze out there- I can relate. I'm 34, married, no children yet- but i can remember at 15-16 years old with Ralph (karate kid) Machio (spelling ???), Rob Lowe, Matt Dillian on my walls, smiling back at me. Of course there are others. I was a BIG Shawn Cassity fan. So see, every generation girl has their dreams of wanting to be with their favorite star.

I loved LuLu in 'To sir, with love', singing the song title ALWAYS makes me tear up. I wasn't to crazy about lastnights version of the song. I guess I'm still old fashion to enjoy the original version of it, rather this 'more for today's ears' version.

I liked Peter Noone too, but was he lip singing??

Well thats my 15 minutes in the spotlight ;-) Thanks,
Marlo from Nashville, TN

[Scott]

"fame retardant" - BRILLIANT!

[Aesop]

Is it just me or did we see a logical faux pas last night? If there are 11 contestants, how can none of the first 9 be in the bottom three?

[genuinegeno]

Ok, ok...while all you ladies "swoon" over the studs of the past (I was the one impersonating them in front of a mirror singing "Julie, Don't You Love Me?" into my sister's hairbrush), I have to say how STUNNINGLY HAWT Lulu looked and sounded last night. One of the highlight performances of all-time Idol, IMO. I am curious- if Sanjay Karpeltunnel wins this thing- and he can-I have to figure he will never sell a single cd. This would be a complete mockery. I mean, Kiki looked vulnerable last night. When are TPTB going to override this "voting" situation and kick him off for some unreported felony or something. Make it up, I don't care! And I'm really pissed that Ms. Double-D didn't come out again last night supporting her little teen-joykill. At least she didn't get any airtime...btw, does anyone think Peter Noone was lipsynching? I couldn't tell for sure...Great job as usual, Linda. keep up the good work.

[Mona]

Linda, my god, you are one funny chick. No more starvation. Can you possibly see your way to using your tremendous wit and influence for a new (and more worthy) campaign -- this time, for a former Idol star? It's the "Lyrics for Elliott Yamin" fundraiser. The guy stole our hearts last season. He has a voice as smooth as Velveeta, but the lyrics on his new CD are soooo cheesy. Painfully cliched. He deserves better. (Actually WE deserve better.) Let's all get together and buy him some words! I'm sure Donald Fagen or Bernie Taupin are in the market! Thanks for your time...you go girl.

[Linda to Marc]

Thanks for stopping by the blog again for the recap!

Actually, two weeks ago when the whole Idol Gives Back thing came up - that's the first thing i jumped on in the recap...

"I truly think this is great – but allow the cynic in me to say one thing – If this is true, PURE philanthropy, how about the producers get the cash fires burning by throwing all the millions they have collected from this stupid text message contest the past three weeks on the pile?"

So, I am right there with you. But I also agree that perhaps I need to mention it again, and again. If they even put ONE of the millions each week that they pull in from this "contest" - they could really make a difference. Heck, I'd probably even text an answer in. As it is, I have been keeping my 99 cents for gum.

[Marc]

Linda, as much of a fan of your recaps as I am, I must say I'm a little disappointed. Last night, while talking about the upcoming Idol-Aid event, Seacrest made a comment to the effect of getting 10 cents for every viewer vote, equaling over $3 million to fight hunger -- blah, blah, blah.

My first thought was the retarded Idol Challenge, and how they bring in 99 cents per entry. Yet, no mention has ever been made that any of the profits or proceeds from this shameless endeavor will be going towards to their cause.

You've been critical of the contest from the beginning, but I was expecting you to jump on that comment. For at least 14 weeks, AI is bilking tens of millions of dollars, easily, from their viewers though this contest, and for what? We'll all be asked to call the number and make a donation, a la Jerry Lewis. The gauntlet has been thrown down to Corporate American. Yet, what are they doing about it? Where are the profits from the show's sponsors, advertisers, and the Idol Challenge going? That's what I want to know.

Simon Fuller, Nigel Lythgow, Fox, Freemantle, and 19 Entertainment need to be held to task on this before I, or anyone else, should jump on board with this.

As gullible as the American public tends to be, we shouldn't buy into this until there's some good faith gesture made from those who profit very generously from American Idol.

Linda, I implore you to rally your troops around this!!!

[Susan in PA]

Now you've started it, Linda! Bobby Sherman - oh, my goodness!! I used to watch Hullabaloo (I think that was the name of the show) hoping he would be on, and watched Here Come the Brides ONLY because he was on it (and can still sing the theme song - how lame is that?) Lori in Texas, I'm with you on Walter Koenig! (And Leonard Whiting, from the Romeo and Juliet movie that came out in the late '60's. Sigh.)

Hey, maybe Idol can do a Former Teen Idol night, and Sanjaya can sing Puppy Love! Or would that be too painful for you Donnie Osmondites out there?

Actually, I think there's a halfway decent voice hiding somewhere in Sanjaya, but he desperately needs some vocal training (as does Chris R., so he'll stop singing through his nose - Stevie Nicks can get away with the nasally voice, but not Chris.).

[Audrey F]

I am also a mother of five, and my girls just think Sanjaya is sweet, but needs to put his energy (?) into modeling--or miming!

[Audrey French]

I can barely type because I am laughing so hard! I can TOTALLY UNDERSTAND the whole Sanjaya thing. I used to kiss the TV whenever Bobby Sherman was on! I even cut his record off the back of a Honeycombs box and played it incessantly! Never missed Donny on anything on TV. Something about big hair and chiclets for teeth!

[bradley]

Spot on as always. As a fifth grade teacher - you hit the nail on the well-coiffed head. Sanjaya isn't going anywhere, and (though I can't believe I'm saying it) I'm glad. I'd be bored without him. Not to mention, he is a trip back through time. hard to watch him anymore without conjuring images of childhood and all that we loved about it. I'm starting to feel proud of the kid each week - I mean honestly, how difficult must it be for a 17 year old kid to get up there each week knowing whats being said about him. His 15 minutes are being sideswiped by VFTW and HS. I hope his fans and friends are rallying around him enough to sustain his self-esteem. After all, he made it to the top 24 by professional vote alone! That is something to be very proud of!

[DeDe]

When I realized that Stephanie was going home instead of San-yawn-ya, two things popped into my head: 1. Crap, now he'll be on my tv screen AGAIN next week. 2. The PTB at Idol are licking their chops at the amount of money they're going to rake in. And both of these things made me sick to my stomach.
My daughter correctly predicted that Haley's half-nakedness would keep her on the show because of all the horndog teen boys [and men] who desire to see her body on their TVs for a little while longer. Although I nor my daughter [nor my nieces] get the appeal of the future Tiger Beat poster boy that is San-yawn-ya, we've all accepted the fact and have decided to move on. Hear that, J? MOVE ON. Starving yourself is not smart cause you'll be hospitalized and not be able to see when he does get voted off. I mean, seriously, I get saying a prayer or begging the Fates or heck, even doing a strange ritual, but starvation? Me thinks you fell out of the crazy tree and hit every branch on the way down.
And Peter Noone and Lulu did a very good job last night, although I was a little worried that Lulu's "twins" were going to pop out of her shirt and pay me a little visit.

[Barb]

Did you notice how Gina turned a whiter shade of pale when she was put into the group with Sanjaya and Haley? She was sure this was the dead pool.

[Linda Sharp on Bobby Sherman]

Did a choker ever look so good? I STILL have his album.

[Bobby 4 EVER!!]

Oh, please. Bobby Sherman was The Man.

But I kinda understand this whole Sanjaya thing, and I'll really date myself here. Back in maybe the late 60s there was a show called "Maya" that starred Jay North, who had been Dennis the Menace when he was a kid. He played a guy whose father had gone missing or something in India, and he was trying to locate him. He traveled around India on an elephant named Maya, with an Indian kid as a guide, who was played by an actor named Sajid Khan. He coulda been Sanjaya's father - seriously cute to my 10 or 11 year-old eyes. I wrote his name on my gym bag and practiced bowing and saying "namaste" for when I saw my friends in the halls at school. Lame, I know, but it WAS the sixties. Wouldn't vote for Sanjaya - EVER - but he is a cute kid.

[Lori in Texas]

David Cassidy... Davy Jones... Randolph Mantooth ("Johnny Gage," from the TV show, Emergency)... Mark Goddard ("Major Don West," from the TV show, Lost In Space)... Walter Koenig ("Chekov," from Star Trek)... Beau Bridges... Robby Benson... These were the swoon-worthy, sigh-inducing first loves of my youth. In particular, Randy Mantooth and Mark Goddard. Just seeing them on my screen could make me collapse in a heap of prepubescent pseudo-lust and awe.

Yeah, I can KINDA see what little doofuses admire about Sanjaya... but I stress the "kinda." He's semi-alright-looking but he's NOT talented. He can barely sing - and that's being generous. He has ZERO charisma and ZERO stage-presence. I think the ONLY reason he's still on the show is VFTW and Howard Stern. Chalking it up to the Tiger-Beat-aged kiddies is, IMHO, disingenuous.

[Alexandra]

Yeah, I'm the one who mentioned Leif Garrett yesterday. I didn't "get" him when I was 11, and my 11-year-old daughter doesn't get Sanjaya now . . . but those monthly pin-ups in Tiger Beat told me that I was in the minority about Leif, and all those votes tell me that little Ashley Abdul is a more mainstream viewpoint than my daughter. We'll be lucky if Sanjaya leaves before the top 5.

That said, there are quite a few people this year who could leave without my shedding any tears. Let me know when they vote off Lakisha, Melinda, Blake, or Jordin, and then I'll be upset about Sanjaya.

[Linda Sharp on Donny Osmond]

And they called it puppy lu-uu-uu-uuve....

Dear God in heaven - how could I possibly leave out the boy who cluttered not only my bedroom walls, but the walls of my heart for so many years?!?!?!

I should have my purple velvet cap taken away. Forgive me Donny - I'm still your puppet.

Leif Garrett never really steamed my clams, but MAN!, if the memory of him doesn't make Sanjaya-love completely undererstandable, I don't know what could!

[Linda Sharp to Rowan]

Click on the arrow in the You Tube video twice to activate it - let me know if that won't work for you!

[Sandy in NC]

OMG! My OTHER teen crush will be SOOO mad I didn't mention him. Ahhh...Andy Gibb - I just wanted to be his everything! Man, these guys were sooo fem! Leif Garret was in there, too, but my Top 2 were Shaun and Andy. Remembering back to those guys is def. giving me a better understanding of Hairjaya's appeal with the tween set...

[Mom of 5]

By the way, we really need an "edit" function here to change our typos and grammatical errors. Sometimes the "preview" function just isn't enough for those who somehow just got five kids to bed....

[Mom of 5]

Bart Connor doing the Iron Cross on her earrings? Holy cow, woman! Now all I can see in my mind's eye is a little mini Bart jumping onto her head and doing that amazing gymnastics move that make my shoulders hurt just thinking about. Sanjaya, who's Sanjaya? You are a goddess, Linda!

[Rowan]

YouTube video won't work, but why would someone starve themselves for idol? Post blogs, complain to the AI website, litter the forums, sure, I can see that, but not eat? That's, er..a little crazy. I don't like sunjia, but I'm not dropping my veggie burger for him anytime soon.

When the Sunjiya-Hailey-Gina combo were told they were safe, I clapped, since Gina was safe, and then whhaaat-? Sunjiya AND Hailey are safe too? I wasn't TOO surprised though, I know they've both got fans. But Blake and Gina will both be moving on to next week, along with Jordin, so that's OK. I wonder what next week's theme week is?

[jalynn]

So Donnie Osmond was my preteen idol. I actually took photographs of his posters on my bedroom wall, so I would have MORE pictures of Donny and his purple socks to hang on my walls. I thought Parker Stevenson was hotter than Shaun Cassidy, but I did buy his albums, including the sucky one when the cover shot looked like he was desperately trying to escape out from under from a giant piece of saran wrap or something. (And, I now feel deprived, as I only had a Holly Hobbie lunchbox, not a suitcase). Meanwhile, on Jay's YouTub, er, I mean YouTube ranch, judging from her ample medieval beauty, going on a hunger strike for any reason is probably going to be nothing but positive for both her and her furniture. How remarkable for her to call on him to be gracious (by bowing out), when she seems to completely unfamiliar with the concept herself. Sigh. Now I'm feeling all protective of Sanjaya. If Sanjaya was Michael Jackson, I'm his Liz Taylor, man. Sha-moh.

[Leah]

Linda, THANK YOU for this seriously funny, intelligent article. I got a real kick out of it! So few people who recap AI and do commentary can actually write that when I stumble onto someone like you, for a few moments I'm not ashamed of myself for spending time reading blogs and articles about this show.

I read parts of it to my husband, and he was entertained as well. I force him to watch AI with me so I can comment to my own, personal audience, and he's been a real trooper.

Keep up the good work! I'm going to bookmark your blog. Oh, and I secretly love twinkies, too.