It’s no secret that there is a healthcare crisis in this country. From bloated bills to HMOs playing God to an average of 3,500 families losing their insurance coverage daily, there is no denying our system is sick, critical even.
It’s also common knowledge that when a person has no coverage, or faces an inflated copay, they are loathe to seek out attention for their physicals concerns.
Face it, the doctor’s bill is often much scarier than the ailment they treat you for. And people are getting desperate…
Luckily, there are philanthropic souls in this world who care. Folks who give of their time and expertise freely and without concern for compensation. People who just want to reach out and touch as many lives as possible.
Meet Philip Winikoff, a true humanitarian. A true man of the people. A man so concerned for our citizens’ welfare, he went door to door in Miami offering free breast exams.
Only one small problem.
Phil is not a doctor.
OK, ok, maybe there are two small problems…because women actually bought his story and let him in to examine them.
Someone please tell me, where are the oxygen police when you need them? Surely, these women are not worthy of the air they take from the rest of us.
I mean, come on. A 76 year old man comes up to your door, like some Geriatric Girl Scout, claims to be a doctor, offers you a free breast exam, and you let him in your home?!?
Oh, it gets better.
The reason he was caught was that he was also giving free genital exams and one woman got suspicious when he began to “examine” her and did not have on rubber gloves.
I can just imagine this scene.
“Now, Ma’am - if you’ll just lie down on the couch there and put your feet up on the coffee table...that’s right…let me move those magazines out of the way...now scoot all the way to the edge…do you mind if I take the shade off the lamp so I have better light?…oh, and can I grab a bottle of Mazola from your pantry, and some bar-b-que tongs, if you have them? They make a great speculum…”
I’m sorry, but I have less than zero sympathy for the women he assaulted. OK, wait, scratch that - I feel sorry for them on ONE level.
I think it is regrettable that any creature on this planet is SO COMPLETELY STUPID.
I’m quite certain, with women this ignorant willing to believe anything he told them, Dr. Feelgood could have had them arrange for their friends to come over in groups (stupid people travel in packs).
“That’s right, Ma’am. If you host a party, you’ll earn points redeemable towards free merchandise and services, like my dirty underwear or a free proctological exam!”
You know what the kicker in this thing is for me? This 76 year old man wasn’t out there conning old women into showing him their saggy baggies. Rather, the women who have pressed assault charges are IN THEIR THIRTIES!
I could almost cut an Alzheimic granny some slack, but a thirty-something, in this day and age, opening the door and their...well, door...to a total stranger? Do they not realize this is 2006 America, not 1800’s Little House on the Prairie? Doctors don’t make house calls. Especially not for free.
Old Philip, an auto dealership shuttle bus driver, whose inner 8 year old boy apparently never got to play doctor, is now in jail awaiting trial.
As for the women who accepted his offer of the free exams? They are still roaming the streets sucking up our oxygen.
Again, I realize healthcare is difficult for so many people to come by in this country, but should it ever "come by" your door in the form of a 76 year old man - I have two pieces of advice for you before you let him in:
1. You get what you pay for.
2. There is no such thing as a free letch.
My husband saw this on the news and told me about it. I couldn't believe someone actually let him do it. I've seen joke pix of the "free breast exam" but never thought anyone would do this for real!
Posted by: The Mad Blogger | Sunday, April 23, 2006 at 03:20 PM