Anyone who has commented on this blog or the original DGMS blog knows that the comments are moderated. That means I get a copy of them and must force publish them in order for them to appear. I do this because the world is full of all kinds of people, including those who would use the comments sections as their personal toilet.
I do not mind differing, well stated opinions. (There is a recent controversial piece at DGMS that has been read by over 425,000 people, and I have only refused to publish a handful of ugly comments.) I post them without worry. That is how discussions happen. And there have been some great discussions through the years over at Don't Get Me Started.
I began moderating comments the day Toby came out publicly, the day our family came out publicly. Because there are some seriously unenlightened, bigoted, cruel, dangerous people in this world. They do not come to offer a different viewpoint or engage in discussion. They come with the intent to hurt.
So, no, I have no qualms about now moderating.
Today, however, I received a comment following the Coming Out On Top piece and I am going to share it here. Because to anyone who may think along the lines of this individual posting from the Los Angeles area (ISP look ups are so easy - I have deleted yours below to protect you from how easy it is to find you), I am going to clear up some things:
Let's just start at the start, shall we?
Sorry, I am not disgusted with myself for supporting my child. As for sharing his choices? I do not write anything here without first discussing it with Toby, getting his input, and approval.
The goal of creating this blog was to educate, to open minds and hearts, to HUMANIZE being transgender. This blog was started with Toby's blessing, in fact, he has written here multiple times.
As for Toby's transition not being about me? Sorry, sunshine, but I am at the ground zero of helping my son. Anyone on this journey with us is involved and experiencing their own form of transition. Toby is the one physically, emotionally transitioning, but if you think that the people who love him don't have a stake in this? Try again.
Now, as for that "talking about myself" slam? Look up. This blog is named Transparent Trans Parent. I am the parent of a trans child. Just as are MANY others out there. This is about support, sharing, explaining, exploring. So yes, I will continue to share the questions I am asked, the answers I may offer, and my personal experience as we move forward.
THAT IS HOW PROGRESS IS MADE.
If being a supportive mother who loves her son unconditionally, and who with his blessing, shares this journey with others, makes me a disgusting narcissist? So be it.
Finally, your commenter name is hilarious. (In fact, Toby laughed HARD at that) Friend to Toby? Give me a break. As the saying goes, "With friends like these..." You are not Toby's friend, and not protecting Toby from anything he is not actively involved in. For the record, he especially loved your made up email address "protecttoby.com"? He loves the irony and hypocrisy - disgusting narcissist much?
But thanks for sharing your ignorance and ugliness with the world. I hope you feel better about yourself for spreading your anonymous manure on the internet.
Here is a gif specially chosen for you by Toby: