I am a gay transgender man. When I woke up this morning and checked the election results, I couldn't believe what I was seeing. I felt like I had woken up in the twilight zone - or worse - hell. I have always been afraid of a Trump presidency because of what he may or may not do, but I am a thousand times more terrified of Mike Pence being in the White House. I'm from Indiana. He was our governor. He wanted to convert all national HIV funding to support conversion therapy in our state - causing mental, emotional, and physical damage to queer youths, many of whom committed suicide. He has instated bathroom bills and made the non-binary population feel unsafe at best and actively threatened at worst. He shut down Planned Parenthood - causing an outbreak of HIV in our state in people who could have been screened and treated at PP. He required women with miscarriages to hold burials for their fetuses. Unlike Trump, I don't have to guess what kind of elected official Mike Pence will be. I've seen it.
When I woke up, I was terrified. I couldn't stop shaking. I spent the morning desperately trying not to have a panic attack, not to curl into a ball on my floor and sob. I wanted to spend the next four years in my room hiding under a pile of blankets. My friends telling me not to worry because Trump could be impeached and Mike Pence put in the big chair instead made me want to puke. There is no silver lining to what is happening right now and I know a lot of my brothers and sisters out there feel the same. People of color, non-Christians, the mentally and physically disabled, women, the LGBTQ population. I think I can safely say that we're all feeling a little terrified and hopeless right now.
But believe me when I tell you that if there is one thing we have always been, it is survivors. We come from populations that are under fire every day, regardless of who is in the Oval Office. Our lives are questioned, our beliefs, our very humanity, and still we push through. Throughout my life for whatever reason there have been times where I felt like I wanted to give up. I felt it this morning. But if there is anything I've learned in my twenty-four years of fighting to be who I am, it is the life-saving power of well timed anger.
Get angry. Get fuckin' pissed. Get so incensed that your blood boils and pumps through your veins at a million miles per hour. Don't give up - fight. For the past eight years, republicans have been fighting President Barack Obama every step of the way. Kicking and screaming, they have blocked every move, every turn, every slight notion of productivity. I say it's time to take a page out of their book.
I know we're scared. We don't know what our future is going to look like. We don't know if we're going to be safe. We don't know how we can ever get through the next four minutes, let alone the next four years. I don't have the answers to any of these questions, but I intend to claw my way to the other side and find out.
And in 2018, we roar.
Stay safe, my friends, and please please please stay with me. If I can help any of you, if I can keep just one person on this earth, it will be worth it. Don't let them bury you. Someone out there needs you. I need you. This country needs you. You are loved and I promise you will find something on the other side of this darkness. Let's all help each other to reach it.#igotyourback