Today is Earth Day. Hundreds of thousands are taking to the streets across the country and around the world in support of Mother Earth and SCIENCE - the very thing that will help us treat her better, understand her more, extend her life, and in turn extend our own.
As we are now weighed down by an administration peopled with those not smart enough to pass a high school Chem class, daily we see the cutbacks, programs discontinued, funding suspended. The results will be dire, lasting far beyond the days of the Trump regime. Ices will continue to melt, oceans will continue to rise, emissions will continue to eat away at our protective layer.
Articles about the dangers being courted and embraced by these intellectually dim bulbs are everywhere. So today I am writing about a different kind of pollution.
In the shape of a corpulent windbag out of Austin who rants until he looks like a tick about to pop, and who has a following of compromised, easily led, bumper sticker thinkers and conspiracy theorists, including the one who inhabits the Oval Office.
Yes, I am speaking of Alex Jones, the brainless blowhard behind InfoWars.
His rants always result in his skin going the color of a deep summer tomato, sweat beading on his receding hairline, and tears filling his rheumy eyes as he warns his listeners about everything from pedophile pizza parlors to chemtrails to gay frogs.
I'm not kidding.
Daily he goes apoplectic about some crazy theory he has found by digging through his own toilet. And his listeners gobble his verbal diarrhea up like it's their last meal on earth.
Look, carnival barkers have attracted the gullible since the first curtain was erected. As a species we like to be titillated, teased, offered a glimpse at things few will ever see, and be privy to inside information. Barnum knew it, grew rich from it. Glenn Beck knows it, and filled his coffers from chalk dust and Vicks tears. Trump knows it, he is President because of it.
And Alex Jones knows it. By constantly sliding off the mental tracks onto his own inner third rail, he electrifies his listeners, planting every half assed and full assed theory under the sun. Nothing is ever what it seems in the Jonesosphere. Everything is deep, dark, secret, and scary - VERY SCARY. Nothing is to be believed, except of course, what Jones bellows.
Like his endless rants about the horrific killings at Sandy Hook Elementary. The life ending, life altering shooting that took 20 little children and 7 adults has been repeatedly denounced by Jones as a hoax, a government set up, a false flag event. His same dribble about Oklahoma City, Columbine, 9/11. Small minds like his can never accept that big shit happens.
His endless taunts about Sandy Hook being a hoax, that the children were all actors, that none of them really died fed the weak minds of his listeners who fill their own tiny lives with meaning by thinking only they know the truth about, well, about whatever shiny object their gaze is directed towards. The results of Jones's heinous ramblings meant that grieving parents in Newtown became and still are - five years later - targets of these wetbrained dullards. Facebook pages and websites exist allowing them to group together creating an even larger, more noxious organism to feed off itself.
Their stalking, taunting, harassing, and cruelty towards the parents who lost children that day is galling. And Jones has made sure that their need for conspiracy "speed" is always met. He whines, rants, barks, threatens, filling his microphone with spittle and his listeners with fomented faux rage. When Trump not only engaged him, but became a vocal fan of the crackpot during his campaign, InfoWars was pushed even further, in the minds of Alex's listeners, into legitimacy.
Dead children be damned - the dollars flowed in!
But karma does what she always does. She sits and waits, biding her time - often frustrating us with her endless well of patience - until the moment presents itself and she pounces.
You see, Alex Jones is in the middle of a nasty custody battle over his three children. His ex is working to remove them from his temper, his bile, his toxic influence. Alex and his attorney are arguing that his on-air persona is just that - a cultivated facade, a hoax, if you will. They claim Jones is a "performance artist."
His attorney has told the court, “He does it with humor. He has done it with bombasity. He has done it with sarcasm. He has done it with wit.” The attorney swears that it’s something Jones can and does turn off. (Insert sound of InfoWarriors anuses tightening in unison at the mere thought of their moonfaced god not really believing what he preaches to them.)
His ex-wife begs to differ and is in court because she fears for her three children, ages 9-14, currently in his custody. Her attorney argues that Jones has openly bragged about being “superpowerful” and “superaggressive” and that the person on-air is the same person when off-air. Her concerns are valid. Presented in court were recordings from when his oldest was 12. He has allowed his oldest son to be on his show, gleefully telling listeners his staff have "taken him under their wing" helping him record his own InfoWars style rants. "He is undoubtedly cut out for this, and I intend for him to eclipse what I’ve done,' Jones said. 'He's a way greater person than I was at 12."
As for that "superpowerful" and "superaggressive" personality? Jones has not helped his case in that regard, having to be admonished and threatened by the judge to turn off his bodily antics as the opposing lawyer speaks. And Thursday afternoon he blew up shouting, “You sit here and twist things; I’ve never seen anything like it in all of literature or the movies. You have won the award, sir. No decency, zero.”
Seriously, Alex? Do you hear yourself? You are the king of sitting on your ever widening ass and twisting things. You literally howl at the parents of dead children that their children were never real to begin with. Allow me to use your own words: You have won the award, sir. No decency, zero.”
Compounding this delicious schadenfreude is his own statement, released last evening:
After decades of showing no respect for the dead, openly disparaging grieving families, spreading insane theories like so much manure on a cornfield, and courting as much public attention as possible, you have the gall to now preach about your children? About respect and responsibility? About privacy and best interests?
Cry me a river - if the tears don't come easy, ask Glenn if you can borrow his trusty Vick's container.
OK, I personally think your children should be left out of the news and opinion pieces - they are minors and have no control over having issued from your disgusting loins. But you? Sorry, asswipe, you are fair game, and you deserve to get as good as you give. Or in this case, as BAD as you give. You deserve to have your pimpled ass raked over the public coals, have every aspersion in the books cast at you, and have your every lunacy rebroadcast at every turn. Those rants that you are so proud of, that afford you your private studio and 7,600 square foot house? ALL FAIR GAME. You record them and upload them with pride. You literally cried on-air about President Obama and Hillary being "demons from hell" who "smell like sulfur." You savaged philanthropic efforts by Bill Gates as being some nefarious "eugenics project." You wail about chemtrails turning our kids gay. You salivated at the world's biggest carnie declaring himself a fan and coming on your show.
You don't get to back away from your insanity now because it is inconvenient to your current cause. Perhaps you should have taken note how your new boyfriend, "The Donald", has never let court proceedings get to the point where he is dragged in. He knows what his personal grain silo is filled with and fears having it exposed to daylight and the public.
As for your claim that this is just a character you play? My advice would be to watch your back. Your InfoWarriors are not the most stable pieces in the Jenga tower and do not like being lied to by their heroes.
Performance art or not, you reap what you sow, Alex. And in your case, it is a bumper crop of karma.