OK, it is no secret that religion and I have little to do with one another. I was raised in it, steeped in it, know it, and tapped out years ago. It simply does not fit me. Faith? Yes, I took that with me. These days I am not quite sure exactly what I am drawn towards - call it God, light, energy, zen, a feeling of Namaste - whatever it is, I feel an obligation towards it that translates into my behavior towards my fellow global travelers.
As an ordained minister, I suppose I could start my own "church." John Oliver showed the world how insanely easy that is (incidentally just as easy as becoming an ordained minister with all rights and privileges - NO, I have never abused my Clergy placard for a good parking space at a hospital.)
There are plenty of people like me out there and our numbers are growing. Tired of being hollered at from a pulpit, done with the blatant hypocrisy, patriarchy, and Bible based bullying. People who have realized they do not need to sit in a pew and be threatened or cajoled in order to feel connected to something bigger. For me, HUMANITY is that something bigger. I guess if I did plant a religious flag and cultivate a flock, my religion would best be described as Decent Human Beings For Decent Human Beings, Assholes Need Not Apply. My church would stress getting off one's knees and begging an unseen force for help, in favor of opening one's eyes, facing forward, and being the help and change we desperately need in this world.
And before I type any further, allow me to add my usual disclaimer: I do not HATE religion. At its best, it can provide a sense of comfort. community. At its worst it divides, brainwashes, and teaches its congregants to demonize, delegitimize, and marginalize entire swaths of human beings. If you enjoy yours, GREAT. Have at it. As I said, it simply does not work for me.
Examples of why are everywhere and not hard to find. The word Christian has been so bastardized and abused by those who purport to follow the scriptures but who in reality follow their most base instincts and seek only to inflict harm and damn others to "hell." I actually feel bad for true Christians who are loving, caring, giving, and who understand that the Bible is a collection of stories, allegories, and lots of gories, as well. Their ranks have turned rank as more and more they are outnumbered by prosperity preachers wearing Rolexes while they fleece the flock; deplorable cherry pickers who take one line from an entire book to justify their hatred of others as sanctioned and right; and a stable of politicians who use the word Christian as a political cudgel.
The brand is seriously tainted.
Which brings me to Ken Ham, that oh-so-enlightened <insert gag> Christian who teaches that the world is 6,000 years old, fossils are a test planted in the Earth by God, and anyone who believes differently is going to hell. Oh, and be sure to buy a ticket to his Super Walmart Ark. You know, that theme park monstrosity that was built with $18 million in tax incentives and subsidies in Kentucky? The one with tickets prices of $40 to wander through a vast space of crates that contain speakers emitting animal growls, belches, and farts? Yeah, that one.
The Ark employees only those who sign a statement saying they, too, believe the planet is only 6,000 years old, and that they decry homosexuality. Yep, step right up if you are bigot who failed science.
Ham has now taken his hatred of the LGBTQIA community and turned it up to 11 - visually. Apparently, poor Ken has lost much sleep over the LGBT community using the rainbow flag as a demonstration of pride, unity, the beauty of ALL people. In the decades it has been embraced and flown, it has been modified from 8 colors down to the current six - presented as red, orange, yellow, green., blue, and violet - incidentally the way light is refracted.
Rainbows are beautiful, as are the human beings who are part of the LGBTQIA community and the allies who support and defend them.
Well, Ken isn't having any of that peace, love, unity garbage. I mean, seriously, acceptance? Inclusion? So NOT God-like. (In Ken's canned ham of a brain.)
So, in order to "reclaim" the rainbow (warning to Skittles: you may be next in his crosshairs), Ken has installed lights that will forever now illuminate the Christian Costco Ark each evening. Voila:
His goal is to "discredit" any association with the LGBT.
I'll let Ken explain himself: “In recent times the rainbow has come to represent… the LGBTQ movement. Indeed when the US Supreme Court legalized gay ‘marriage’ last year, the White House was lit up in rainbow colors. Sadly, people ignore what God intended the rainbow to represent and proudly wave rainbow-colored flags in defiance of God’s command and design for marriage. Because of this, many Christians shy away from using the rainbow colors. But the rainbow was a symbol of God’s promises before the LGBTQ movement—and will continue to be after that movement has ended. As Christians, we need to take the rainbow back and teach our young people its true meaning.”
Apparently that true meaning is that God is getting ready to exterminate again - only this time not with waterworks, but with the much more effective holy flamethrower.
“Although God promised He would never judge the earth with a global Flood again, He is coming to judge sinful mankind a second time. This coming judgment won’t be with water but with fire.”
OK, Ken, sit the fuck down.
First of all, while you are able to continually scare those with brains the consistency of melted brie, those of us with critical thinking skills, basic decency, and humanity are calling bullshit. Seriously, even Jesus is weeping, but that's because he is laughing his ass off at your display.
Let's look at that Home Depot Ark of yours again.
Sadly, the first thing it demonstrates is how you, too, failed science. Your rainbow colors are not even in order, Kenneth.
That fractal faux pas aside, do you realize how fabulous your pile of timber now looks? Like, gurrrrrrrrrrrrl, seriously FABULOUS. And do not get me started on how awesome it is that you added a tribute to the transgender flag on either side! Add a couple disco balls and a dance track and Lady Gaga would descend from the heavens (or stadium roof) and hold a concert!
In all seriousness, you simply look like an ass. Not history making for you, I realize, but your desire to take back that which is not yours to begin with is just laughable. And the fact that your attempt looks more like a tribute to the Pulse Nightclub than a warning of death to gay people?
You know, Ken, you may be right. If there is in fact a God, He may well be getting pissed off at how we treat one another down here, how we treat the planet. And He may well be planning some pyrotechnics as an act of retribution, but methinks that massive wooden tribute to your brain empty space makes a pretty tempting flammable target to start with.
As for the LGBTQIA community and folks like me that stand with them? We will continue to wave our hate and flame retardant rainbows with no fear. Our behavior falls much more in line with biblical teachings than your Satanic ramblings of damnation and cursing others to hell ever will. Basically, we love each other, and do not give a flying fuck about little devils like you.
So as for you trying to take back the rainbow? Well, I'll let Bianca Del Rio sum it up for you