Ahhhh, hypocrisy. That noblest of traits wherein the holiest of thous holler at we wretches about our lifestyles, our choices, our politics, our love lives. They threaten, they bang their Bibles, they put forth their legislation, they condemn. WE are going to hell. Because THEY say so. Sanctimony, oh putrid sanctimony.
The breeze of schadenfreude, sweet schadenfreude sweeps in as another one bites the dust, caught with their pants around their ankles, their foot under a stall, their profile on Grindr, their TV show canceled for being a molester, their political pursuits round filed as their sexploits are revealed. The very same kinds of sexploits they profess to revile in others.
Today's recipients of the I-Have-Shit-For-A-Soul trophy are Timothy and Esten Ciboro. Let's get to know Esten, Tim's grown son, first, shall we? And what better way than to let him speak for himself. Or shout, actually. This would be Esten trolling a Target preaching to all and sundry about the evils of those spooky transgenders in the bathrooms. Little Esten did not reckon with coming face to face with one, though...
Yes, Esten and Tim are champions of the Lord (and Donald Trump - color me *shocked*). And I am just sure the Lord is so happy to have an aisle assassin like Timmy accosting people by the jog bras and polka dot dishes - teaching them the error of their ways. I mean surely Tim and Daddy are fine, upstanding citizens with nary a sin of their own, walking the straight and narrow path through this life, right? Right?
Turns out God's self anointed saints should have swept their own doorstep, or cellar, as this case turned out. And lest you think the road apple doesn't fall far from the horse's ass, Tim's Facebook page is a testament to religious fanaticism, James Dobson, biblical marriage, and the satanic properties of Monster energy drinks. Not kidding.
Tim, 53, and Esten, 27, now sit in jail cells in Toledo, charged with keeping Tim's 13 year old daughter shackled for nearly a year in the basement. Feeding her scraps and spoiled food, forcing her to use a bucket as a toilet.
Ahhhhhh, what a dynamic duo! Can I get an Amen! from the congregation (before you throw up)?
The girl managed to escape her prison about two weeks ago while Esten and Tim were out on a jog. Karen Loudermill, a janitor at the Toledo Port Authority, spotted the girl outside and brought her in the building. She then saw the marks on her ankles from the shackles. "I said you won't be in any trouble if you tell me the truth and that's when she told me about the shackles on her ankles for days when she wet the bed." As Karen and her coworker asked her more questions, including those about being touched inappropriately, it became clear very quickly that this poor girl was more than just a runaway.
The girl then told Karen that if her stepfather found out she wasn't home, she would be in more trouble. Loudermill called Timothy, who said "I'll call you back" and hung up the phone. That's when authorities were called.
Police arrested them early the next morning and charged them with kidnapping and child endangerment. According to reports, it appeared they were trying to flee when authorities arrived at the house. Both were pulling away in a van with two younger children, a dog and cat, a map and a gun.
Praise Jesus, they took their gun, too! Surely, that's in the Bible, Matthew, Snark, Puke, and Yawn, or something?
Sorry, but this kind of shit burns me up.
The skin sack gave an interview to a local Toledo news channel in which he professed his innocence, and of course, brought the big G into things.
"There are a lot of questions. I miss my babies with all my heart. I want them to do right. That's the way they were raised. If they have any questions, all they have to do is open the bible and they will have all the answers.”
Um, yeah, NO. If this is where Tim gets his answers, I shall continue to move through life without his preferred guidebook. If Tim's interpretations are the gold standard, I think I'll stick to things like Aesop's Fables and fairy tales and South Park for actual lessons in morals and behavior.
The reporter questioned him during the interview about why he wasn't asking, or talking about the 13 year old - he was only referring to the 9 and 10 year olds. THEN he brought her up and blamed her for her predicament. She "just didn't want to do things with us. She just didn't. I don't know why, I can't answer that
Oh, gee, Tim, no clue why?
All three children are now in foster care, out of the reach of his parenting techniques and profane form of piety. Esten and Timothy, these two sacks of hot garbage, face charges of endangering children by torture and cruel abuse and kidnapping to terrorize or to inflict serious harm. Oh, and poor Timmy whined to the reporter that he was in fear for his and Esten's lives in jail. Poor babies.
Sorry, Tim. Time to climb down off that cross, pile all that wood up, and climb on top so the justice system can "burn" you both at the stake. But then, asses to asses ashes to ashes, right? Right?
Wait, I know! You said all the answers are in the Bible! Here it is! Good ol' Matthew 5:38. "You have heard the law that says the punishment must match the injury: 'An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth.'
Given what you put your daughter through, I'd say let the punishment replicate the crime. Shackles, dark, filthy basement, bucket, spoiled food, a year of abuse... Can I get another Amen from the congregation?
And people like him say my transgender son is the danger... Lord, give me strength.