Don't Get Me Started with Linda Sharp

This Logic Goes Up In Smoke

Friends, countrymen/women, lend me your ear.  I have some very bad news.

They say that those who do not remember history are doomed to repeat it.

Well, there is no other way to say it.  We are doomed.

The Holocaust is upon us.  Again.  Only this time it is not in a land far away where the atrocities are relayed via Newsreel, teletype, tear stained love letters from the front.

No, it has come to this land of ours, assaulted our shores, is threatening a segment of our populace - singling them out for abuse, nay, torture.

I fear, if it is allowed to go unchecked, people may die.

Oh wait, they already are.  At their own hand.

John Raese, a Republican running for U.S. Senate in West Virginia spoke at an event earlier this week and warned us all that Hitler has been reborn and the targets of discrimination have been chosen.

"But in Monongalia County now, I have to put a huge sticker on my buildings to say this is a smoke-free environment. This is brought to you by the government of Monongalia County. Okay?"   Remember Hitler used to put Star of David on everybody’s lapel, remember that? Same thing."

I will pause while you collect yourselves for I know this is a serious subject and the ramifications are beyond dire.

Smokers.  That demographic of our culture who prefer to inhale tar and nicotine and soil the air around them are suffering greatly, their suffering completely equal to the millions of Jews targeted and killed by Hitler.

My ass.

In what is yet another hysterical overreach, this idiot truly believes that smokers, because they are being denied the freedom to light up anywhere, anytime, around anyone - are suffering the same treatment as the Jews in the Holocaust.

It is as big a leap of fucktarded logic as one can make.

I have a request of the GOP, the Tea Party, all their equally low effort thinking brethren - stop with the Hitler, Socialist, Marxist, Maoist, Communist bullshit.  None of you even know what the words actually mean, and every time you open your mouth and attempt an analogy you embarrass yourselves.  And quite frankly?  You let George Bush run amok, killing this country's economy, literally killing our young soldiers with his fake war, stripping citizens of their rights, and you said NOTHING.   So STFU.  Your credibility is more than a little suspect.

Raese, when asked to clarify his statements, doubled down,  "No, this is not a standard line, nor a misstatement. It is a loss of freedom. As Ronald Reagan once said, there is no such thing as partial freedom, there is only freedom."

A loss of freedom?  I love that one, too.  Just like the gun lovers who continue to loudly whine about their freedoms being taken away.  Where?  When has that happened despite all your histrionics that Obama's gonna take yer guns?

Look, Johnny, your freedom to smoke it up stops where it meets my freedom to breathe clean air.  Your unwillingness to step outside has no right to endanger my health, and quite frankly, make me reek the way you do.

Because yes, you do smell bad.  I don't care who here smokes and wants to claim otherwise.  If you light up, no amount of gum, Scope, pine tree hanging from your rear view mirror, driving with your windows down, or jug of Febreeze is going to change the fact that it is in your hair, skin, clothing, vehicle, home.  It clings to you and we smell it.  One hug and *boom* it's on me too.  I just have to walk close to where a smoker is smoking and it stays in my clothes all day.

If you want all that, fine.  That is your choice.  No one's taking your precious little white cylindars away from you.  Just as it is your choice to fill your lungs up with a substance you know damned well is hurting you.  Light up!  Hell, be a circus act and cram a whole pack in your maw.  Just do it where no one else has to breathe in your efforts.

But back to our hero John and his efforts to warn us all about our Hitleresque ways.

John, you're the poster child for idiocy.  When we begin to round up you and your chimney throated friends; when we begin requiring they wear a cut out of a black lung on their clothing; when we kick you out of your homes, steal your belongings, separate you from your loved ones, put you in boxcars and run you all to camps where you slowly starve to death; and when we begin systematically killing you by the hundreds each day?

THEN you can come back with the comparison.

Until then, the only ones endangering a smoker's life is the smoker.  And quite frankly, John, you're free to kill yourself as fast as you want to.  I'll even supply the matches.

Heaven's A More Rocking Place Tonight

Rest in peace, Dick Clark.  Thank you for spinning miles of smiles.

Let's Celebrate Rhonda!

It's Mark's Day!

Happy Birthday Mark!  Hope you "ribbet" up today!

Let Them Eat Cake?

Jesus - the things people do in this world.  Stupidity rages like an out of control inferno...

Case in point - this completely offensive "performance art" cake at an event attended by Sweden's Minister of Culture (of which she shows stunningly little of her own)  Lena Adelsohn Liljeroth.

It is a body of an African woman, the human head being provided by the performance artist (a man), Makode Aj Linde.

Yes, Minister, get in there and perform the genital mutilation - after all, that's what this cake is about.

And smile, because we all know just how funny female genital mutilation is.  I am just sure all those little girls who are held down and tortured each year are just laughing it up.  Probably reading comic books and telling knock knock jokes the whole time.

Yes, that's right.  Let the mutilated "girl" eat cake.  Cake makes everything better, right?

This from the artist's Facebook page - the aftermath.  He writes, Documentation from my female genital mutilation cake performance earlier today at stockholm moma. This is After getting my vagaga mutilated by the minister of culture, Lena Adelsohn Liljeroth. Before cutting me up she whispered "Your life will be better after this" in my ear.

The whole thing is as tasteless as it is disgusting.  Over 140 million girls and women have been subjected to this ignorant, barbaric, life threatening "procedure."  It is not a joke and not something to be joked about.

The level of disconnect to what FGM actually is, means, and does to a female is highlighted in every selfish, sophomoric, moronic photo.  That the Minister of Culture is wielding the knife and the smile just makes it that much worse because it reinforces that it is somehow "not so bad."

THIS is what a roomful of stupid humanity looks like.  Inconsiderate fucktards all.

What truly is being mutilated is the dignity of every female who has been held down and had her life painfully altered forever. 

When It Doesn't "Get Better"

I think all the "It Gets Better" Youtubes done by celebrities - homosexual and heterosexual - are admirable.  The reaching out by adults to teens and young adults facing the horrendous treatment of society for simply being who they are is helpful.  It is.

But while it may momentarily bolster the heart of a bullied, traumatized, picked on, abused teen, it does nothing to stop those who dish out the hatred.

And the Cafe Of Ignorance is open 24/7/365 serving up hatred, bigotry, demonization, and hurt.

Case in point, yet another beautiful young soul has chosen to end his life - suicide somehow being the better option - than stay and endure the constant abuse of those in his high school who have been raised to hate "the other."

Kenneth Weishuhn Jr., was only 14 years old, a freshman in his Iowa high school. 

And one month ago he did the brave thing - he came out to his friends.

Or those he considered his friends.

He soon found out that friendship is fleeting, and those he thought he could trust, were actually cowards, bigots, bullies.  Let me repeat one of those for emphasis:

COWARDS.

That's better.  Big, fat, ignorant cowards.

According to his sister Kayla, "People that were originally his friends, they kind of turned on him.  A lot of people, they either joined in or they were too scared to say anything."

He was picked on at school, tormented via his cell phone, and the shitstains even took their abuse online, creating a group of anti-gay assholes, including his former friends.

Things escalated to Kenneth receiving death threats via his cell phone.  DEATH THREATS.  For simply being who he was born.

His heartbroken mother said he told her, "Mom, you don’t know how it feels to be hated."

No, Kenneth, you're right.  To be hated, targeted, hunted down over something you have as much control over as you do your eye color?  No, I have no idea.

But I do know that shitty teens do not get to be shitty teens without falling from some pretty shitty parental orifices.  Hatred, bigotry - it's all taught.

No child emerges from the womb knowing how to hate.  No baby knows anything about sexual orientation, color, religion.  ZERO.  It is all taught in word and deed by those who raise that child.  By those who stand by taking pride on putting another bigot into the world.

Those people, and their offspring, are a blight on humanity. 

I do not care what your storybook tells you, how you choose to warp your religious beliefs a la Westboro, how you were raised by your equally ignorant parents - YOU. ARE. WRONG.

And you deserve the bullying.  You deserve the condemnation, the derision, the pain.  You deserve to be driven into a hole where you can no longer hurt innocent people.  Because YOU are THE OTHER.  And you are on the wrong side of history.

Being gay, lesbian, bi, transgendered is not a disease, not some insidious "thing" that is out to touch or alter your lifestyle.  It is not a virus you can catch.  It is simply a person.  Just like you, just like me.  A beautiful, multidimensional person who simply wishes to live their life.

Do you need my approval to be fat?  Will my derision stop you from shoving another plate of cheese fries in your maw?  How about I start a campaign against YOU because of your eye color?  Send you death threats because you have red hair?  Should my opinion of your choice of footwear mean anything to you?  How about if your spouse is an asshole?   Should my view have any bearing on you choosing to stay and endure their douchebaggery? 

No.

It's none of my business, and frankly, what you shovel down your gullet does not affect my life in the least.  If you like flip flops, wear them.  I don't give a shit, and I am not going to start a Facebook page hating on you for your choice.  Want to stay with someone who won't even allow you to change your diet?  Fuck it.  Stay with them.  Doesn't affect me AT ALL.

Just as being gay doesn't affect YOU.

My daughters have been there when someone finally came out.  He was loved that day just the same as he had been loved the day before.  He was never treated any differently by them, by me, by his group of incredible friends.  Ben is my son, born in my heart.  And I would take a bullet, step in front of a train to protect him from anyone who would intend him harm.

That goes for a young man in Carson's circle who has recently come out.  He is wonderful, beautiful, talented, amazing - and yes, gay.   And woe betide ANYONE who would try to utter the slightest slur, hurt him, marginalize him - they would immediately face the wrath, bravery, and muscles of Carson.  With my full backing.  If I got a phone call from the school telling me she stood up to, and knocked down, someone who was tormenting him?  I'd serve the punishment with her.  Because far too few teens, hell ADULTS, stand up for what's right.

We live in Texas.  You can't swing a dead cat here without it hitting a herd of ignorant, bigoted shitkickers.  It's the same in any state.  And it's sad.  Because they have been taught to hate.  Raised to believe it is ok to belittle someone different than them.

They are wrong.  Dead wrong.

I take that back. 

They are ALIVE wrong.

Kenneth is the one who is dead.

Sadly, the bigotry that tortured him lives on.

Talent, PURE Talent In An 8 Year Old Package

And THIS is when she was only SIX.

You can see more of her incredible talent at http://fitricerado.com/

Something Old, Something New, Something Borrowed, Something Ewwww?

Back in the 70s, the gang on Welcome Back, Kotter added the phrase, "Up your nose with a rubber hose" to the public lexicon. As a middle schooler at the time, it amused me to no end - as much for the visual, as for the rhyming. (Face it, it doesn't take much to amuse a 12 year old.)
 
It was meant as a "clean spirited" insult - something innocuous and capable of clearing television broadcast censors.
 
As time wore on, that rubber hose disintegrated, living on only in our memories and late night TV Land reruns.
 
Until now.
 
Fast forward to 2012, and that rubber hose is very much a reality. A reality Vinnie Barbarino could never have envisioned, much less admired.
 
Welcome to the K-E Diet.  (It has been around in Europe for some time, but has finally crossed the pond to the US.)

Yes, that is, in fact, a rubber hose up her nose.

And she is far from alone in sporting this latest weight loss accessory.

As highlighted in a recent segment on Good Morning, America, the "diet" promotes being able to "Shed up to 20 pounds in 10 Days", and as one would expect, it is garnering a lot of attention.

Sadly, brides-to-be are an easy target for this get thin quick scheme.

Dr. Oliver Di Pietro of Bay Harbor Islands, Fla regularly installs the flexible plumbing in his patients eager to shed the pounds and fit into their dream dress for their big day.  He defends the "treatment", "It is a hunger-free, effective way of dieting.  Within a few hours your hunger and appetite go away completely, so patients are actually not hungry at all for the whole 10 days. That's what is so amazing about this diet."

OK, look, I get it.  It is rare to find someone on this planet who is completely happy with their physique.  We all despise things about ourselves, envy what others appear to have (or don't have), and the ass is always leaner in the other pair of pants.  Yada, yada, yada.

But this??  Really?  Are we that desperate to fit into some idealized dress that we will spend 10 days dripping liquid through our nostrils, bypassing our mouths, at a cost of $1500?

I find it sad.

We live in a country where obesity rates continue to skyrocket through all fault of our own.  We are a nation of consumption - we love supersizing, fried foods, soft drinks, and sitting on our asses.  We rationalize our bad choices - Oreo cookies, cookie dough, brownie mix, then bake anyone?   We brag about having a salad for lunch, then eat a plate of grease, cheese, and meat for dinner, washed down by a candy bar.  We love to chew, we hate to move.

Then we complain as if our ass grew on its own overnight.

Sorry, it doesn't work that way.  The percentage of people who have a true physiological issue controlling their weight struggles is small.  The rest simply lack in willpower and are self indulgent hedonists.  Basically, if it tastes good, chew it.  We comfort ourselves with food, and instead of taking a real life walk after dinner, we pretend to harvest crops in Yoville.

This rubber hose diet is a sad commentary on just how wrong things are.

Ladies - do yourself a favor - when you go to order a wedding dress, be realistic.  Do not order it many sizes smaller promising yourself you will lose 50 pounds, hell, even 10 pounds.  It will be the rare woman indeed who will pull that off.  Look in the mirror and be honest about your body shape, your height, your ability to exercise any degree of willpower.

I'd love to be able to eat what I want and suffer no consequences.  Too bad.  I am just over 5 feet tall and my ability to grow is sideways, not taller.  So if I gain weight, it is readily apparent.  That means it is up to me EVERY DAY to decide how I want to feel, what I want to see in the mirror.

That is what gets me on the treadmill; what motivates me to pick up the weights; what makes me choose a smoothie over a pack of Oreos or a raid on the kids' Easter baskets.

And my choices mean my clothes fit better, I feel better,  not worse.  Energized, not lethargic.  The woman highlighted in the KE Diet segment admits "I was tired. I didn't feel like exercising. The doctor told me that if you can compliment with walking for a half an hour on the beach, that would be great, but I didn't feel like doing that. I'm a very energetic person, but those days I was a little tired."

Go figure.  800 calories delivered like post nasal drip.

But hey, she lost her 10 pounds in EIGHT DAYS!  Woo hoo!

Can I drop 10 pounds in 8 days?  Not unless I am trapped under something heavy with only dust bunnies to eat.

What I can do in 8 days is drop some weight and tone my muscles.  I can chew less and move more - all of which is better and looks better.

What it also is, is realistic.  And that's where lasting success lies.  Where true weight loss can be found, where results aren't just till the honeymoon is over, or till you drink a glass of water. 

There is no magic bullet, and honestly, despite this woman's 10 pound drop, no magic tube.  Keeping that 10 pounds off for good is going to be a serious struggle once chewing resumes.

Am I being harsh, judgemental?  Absolutely.  Because a person doesn't magically gain those 10 pounds overnight.  That's a choice.  And if you're stupid enough to think this tube is really a viable "diet"?

Well, as Vinnie would say, "Up your nose..."

D-E-S-P-I-S-E Find Out What It Means To Me

The debate has raged on ever since the first Betty Crocker stepped out of the confines of the kitchen, ditched her apron, kissed her children goodbye, and went out the door to work.

Stay-at-home moms vs Working moms.

And it has been a stupid debate ever since that mixer went silent and the stove went cold during the day.

The argument was once again dragged from the societal back burner last week when CNN contributor Hilary Rosen responded to Mitt Romney's assertion that his wife is some economic authority about the struggles faced by working moms.  She quite rightly responded that Ann Romney has "never worked a day in her life."

That is true.

Ann has been privileged to be in the situation to never have to work a day in her life.  The Romney family is wealthy.  And with wealth comes the room to breathe, to make the choice to stay home.

So, no, I do not consider her the foremost authority on how the economy is affecting anyone.

Hilary Rosen took it up the ass for daring to point out the obvious.  She wasn't demeaning mothers who stay at home, she was making a very simple point.  Of course, the righteous Right lit their torches and assembled the villagers of the town of Low Effort Thinking.  So she apologized.  (She was also slammed for being a lesbian mother, as if that is in any way relevant to the discussion, but again, the populace of LETville aren't the most enlightened of folk.)

Quite frankly, Ann Romney should apologize for providing the gasoline that assured the torch would not go out.  I'd respect her more if she came to a podium (for the love of all that is holy - will politicians stop acting like 7th graders and hiding behind their Twitter accounts?) and said, "Hilary Rosen was correct.  My personal situation with Mitt has allowed me the ability to easily stay at home and raise our sons.  It is a choice I thank God each day for being able to make.  I know there are countless mothers AND fathers who would dearly love the option of being there for the first steps, the lost teeth, building the solar system out of styrofoam balls and coat hangers, attending every class party, kissing every skinned-knee tear away - yet their personal financial circumstances require they leave the home to do something equally important - provide for their beautiful children.  I have nothing but the upmost respect for those mothers who help insure their children are fed, clothed, provided for, and loved beyond reason.  While I will not apologize for our personal finances, please know I am ever mindful that without them, I, too, would have entered the work force without a moment's hesitation to insure our children were protected and cared for."

She could have said that.  But what fun would there be in direct honesty when we all recognize a political opportunity when we see it.

So Hilary apologized.

I am curious as to what those same self righteous, self appointed doyens of the sanctity of motherhood are going to say about Fox News contributor Keith Ablow's statement that "working moms despise themselves."

What's that, Right Wing?  You're all out of torches?  Funny, I think your bigger problem is you have a surplus of hypocrisy and a tragic spine famine when it comes to calling out the bullshit on your own side.

Ablow stated that “These “anti-gender” women have it in for anyone who embraces her femininity, maternal instincts and capacity to nurture as their highest priority — postponing or passing up other laudable opportunities to work at, say, a law firm or as a marketing executive.  They despise the notion that some women may indeed be drawn — instinctively and happily — toward creating special and loving environments in which to raise their children, while spending all their available time sustaining and enriching those environments and those children. 

They despise the parts of themselves that may be drawn to such roles, as well.  That’s why women like Hilary Rosen make such outlandish statements, to begin with.  They’re essentially talking to themselves — albeit, with the rest of the world forced to listen — trying to reassure themselves that their own choices in life weren’t only equally as good as those of other women, but better. Far, far better. They feel like their choices are better because they have thrown off the shackles of roles that were once “expected” of them, leaving them not only freer than, but superior to, those women who don’t feel enslaved at home, but feel fulfilled at home.”

First of all, Keith, look down.  See that earthworm sized thing in your pants?  It's called a penis.  That would make you a man.  So STFU about mothering and the choices we both make/are faced with.

As for despising one another, worse yet, ourselves?  Eat shit.  Mothers love their children.  Whether they are privileged to stay home with them, whether they must go do yet another shift at a fast food joint to provide for them, whether they make the choice to return to the work force - mothers love their children. 

Where is your condemnation, hell, acknowledgement, that men are not there to raise their children?  That they "despise" themselves?  Are they not drawn "instinctively and happily" to staying home and wiping spit off the chin of their babes?

Quite frankly, I would hope working FATHERS (you know, the ones who donate to the whole procreation thing despite all the legislation being introduced by your side which makes we women appear to have sole control of our ability to become pregnant) despise being away from their children every day.

I stay at home.  It has not always been an easy choice, and there have been financial sacrifices along the way, but Rudy and I jointly decided to attempt to have me stay home with our daughters.  As the years have passed, while we are not even in the same monetary galaxy as the Romneys, that choice has been easier as he has enjoyed a successful climb in his industry.  But I have never looked at it as anything but a PRIVILEGED CHOICE. 

As for the word "despise"?  Here's a news flash for Keith - you know what stay at home parents sometimes despise?  STAYING HOME.  AND OUR CHILDREN.

Yes, that's right.  As "fulfilling" as it can be, staying at home can yank every emotional chain a parent has.  And it regularly leads to what I'm sure Ablow would describe as "impure, horrific thoughts" - that we despise the job and the little people in it.

Not because we stop loving the children.  Not because we don't appreciate the choice we were able to make, but because WE ARE HUMAN.

Just as courtship, contraception, and abortion are PERSONAL CHOICES - so is the decision as to what to do when a child comes along.  Sometimes that choice is painfully obvious - money makes the world go round and the food stay in the fridge, so moms and dads must work each day - sometimes juggling several jobs at a time.  Sometimes a choice is on the borderline and the decision is made to forego certain things in order to afford a stay at home parent (notice I say PARENT because there is no law - yet - requiring it be the mom).  Sometimes it is a no-brainer.  Money is plentiful and a parent wants to stay home.  Sometimes the stay-at-home parent also works at home.  And sometimes even with money being available, both parents choose to continue working.

None of these people love their children more or less than the other. 

Parenting is work.  Working outside the home AND parenting is work.  And regardless of the demographic into which you fall, you are never off the clock.  Hilary Rosen knows that.  Ann Romney knows that.  All mothers know that.

I don't despise Hilary.  I don't despise Ann.  You want to know what I do despise?  

I despise being turned into a political football.

Autoresponds: The Translation

I love the ability to set up an autorespond when one is going to be away from the office, on vacation, etc.  It is a nice courtesy so the people attempting to contact you understand why you may not be replying very fast.

This morning I emailed my sister who is currently away on business and immediately received an autorespond from her inbox.  A nice, pithy acknowledgment of her absence.

But me, being me, and her being her, I decided to translate it ...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hello,

I will be out of the office from Friday, April 13 through Monday, April 23.

I will have ability to check email. If your email is urgent, I will try to respond. Otherwise, I will get back to you as soon as possible after I return to the office.

Thanks!
Kim

TRANSLATION

Greetings Loser,

I have a life and refuse to be tethered to a desk for the next week and a half.

While I will be able to monitor your attempt to communicate with me, most likely I will simply roll my eyes, laugh, and continue sipping my Mimosa. If your email is urgent, say your hair is on fire or you have won 50 million dollars and would like to remunerate me for the years I have good naturedly put up with your idiosyncratic bag of shit, I will think about responding. Otherwise, get a clue and leave me alone. I will deal with your obviously earth-shattering-life-altering-oh-so-important musings when I return and can no longer avoid you.

Piss off,

Kim