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Friday, May 11, 2012

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As the result of a very difficult delivery, both my son and I were in severe distress; my body did not immediately produce the nourishment he needed and he in turn needed immediate nourishment to stabilize his blood sugar. To make matters worse, he wouldn't latch on and couldn't figure out the suck reflex. The lactation consultant was relentless and I just dissolved into a puddle of tears. Almost 18 years later I still remember how bad she made me feel. Thank goodness I found the best pediatrician in the world who reassured me that I wasn't a failure as a mother or woman because I wasn't able to breast feed my son. P.S. he's grown up to be a healthy strapping 6' tall 180 lb young man.

I had 2 wonderful children with 2 different results. Since I was a premie when I was born (plus a smoker), my doctors assumed that my first child was going to be tiny. He, therefore, did not bother with an episiotomy (sp?). Well my daughter was over 8 lbs and ripped the daylights out of me (sorry for the blunk details). She was a natural at feeding and it was fantastic! However, they had to put me on very strong antibiotics a month after her birth due to the tearing factor. Hence she was taken off the breast - my heart was broken and I felt like less of a mum... Until my doctor and family assured me that there was nothing I could do.

My son was also a natural feeder and stayed on the breast for 9 months until he bite me hard and drew blood. That was my signal to stop...

My point? Each mum, baby (and boob) has to do what is right for them, as Linda has stated. And no magazine, doctor, lactation specialist, friend, or family member has the right to tell you otherwise...

blunk = blunt (brain has not woken up yet)

You illustrate the point perfectly. Every birth is different, every baby is different, every set of circumstances is different and impacts what is possible.

Culley - 3 months (Hurricane Iniki came - I could not get enough liquids to maintain milk production)
Kendall - a natural at it - 12 months - but once she could hold the sippy cup, she was off to the races
Carson - 7 months - I got the flu, could not keep anything down.

And they all turned out just fine.

Maybe because I'm not a mother, but the photograph really disturbed me (my husband too). I had no idea that there was even an issue, except that I know "they" say a breastfed baby will be more prone to not getting allergies...whatever - I agree that it's a decision made by momma, baby and boob, and no one should try to convince momma that she is "bad" if she can't/won't/doesn't want to do it.

I agree with Chicky. The photo disturbs me as well. I had a friend who openly breast fed her daughter up to 2 years old and it made me uncomfortable. I don't know, I assume once they are walking, they can probably eat regular food?
I struggled with breast feeding myself with my son, but didn't care or never heard any beratement from anyone about being less of a mother, mostly because it was no ones business. I was more frustrated personally because I felt like he might starve, so we went to the bottle within a few days after we brought him home. BTW, being a "good mom" is a LOT more than just breast-feeding!

I definitely wanted to breastfeed Lily, and I manged to for about the first 6 weeks. She had problems latching and would fall in the middle, then barf everything up afterwards (she had some tummy issues). Then, she'd be crying and hungry, and having just breastfed her, I didn't have anything to feed her. We started supplementing with formula, and eventually she preferred the bottle. Throughout the whole ordeal, I felt like a terrible mom (probably because I was going to lactation classes) and cried a lot. I'm hoping it won't be an issue if we have another child, and I won't be going to those classes again!

That was supposed to say "fall asleep".

to add to my post, not to mention, once a kid has TEETH, he/she should be able to eat a sandwich!

Never having had a child, I cannot speak from experience. In an article I read about this, there was a link to a story about Mayim Bailik (Sp?) who played blossom and is now on The Big Bang Theory and she is still breast feeding her 4 year old (think he was 4). Not my cup of tea but again, I am not a mother.

I nursed all 3 of mine for about 6 months. Being a working mom, that was about all I could do. Back then, company's weren't very understanding about the need to pump during the day, and I would end up doing it in the restroom and throwing it away.
I work with young women and most of them have small children. They all nursed, and our company has a "mother's room" where either the husband or sitter can bring the baby to the job to nurse, or the mother can pump and save the milk for later. I love that they are able to do that.
I don't agree with breastfeeding being shoved down women's throats. It's a personal decision between the mother, child, and sometimes the father. If bottle feeding were so bad for children, then how did all those adopted children make it in life?
Logan is a healthy, happy little girl, as is her older sister. The issue their parents face is the fact that they are being raised vegan...which is amazing to me, but some parents think they are being deprived.
As long as your children are happy and healthy, then you should feel that you did your job as a parent, and try not to let everyone else get to you...even though I know that isn't easy.


I am an advocate of breastfeeding, but the "Time" cover is extremely offensive to me on multiple levels. Both the photo AND the banner headline. I breastfed both of my daughters -- the oldest for over a year, and the youngest for 4 months (I had to stop with her because of multiple problems, or she would have continued on as long as her sister). But, personally, I feel that if your child is old enough to stand on his/her own and dress themselves, it's time to pull them off the tit and hand them a sippy cup. A mom can still pump if she wants to give the child breastmilk, but seeing a preschooler latched on to a boob is just wrong, IMHO.

I think the "Time" cover is deliberately shocking and in-your-face... not an advocacy tactic I admire or respect. It's like running a cover story saying "Are You Gay Enough?" with a graphic photo of two naked women in a 69. I mean... seriously... why do that???

Instead of putting forth their case for this type of parenting in a reasonable and intelligent manner, possibly winning over some parents on the fence or previous opponents, they have succeeded in offending and pissing off the majority of their audience before they ever even open the magazine. They're predisposed to negativity. How can that possibly help your case?

My thoughts exactly Lori....well said. It's a personal choice how long you breast feed & I see this article as somehow taunting you and making it seem that if you don't breast feed your child for as long as you possibly can, then you are not doing all you can as a mother. That is total bullshit.

Funny story tho....when my best friend was going thru Lamaze classes in the early '80's, she watched a movie on breastfeeding. It showed a mother breastfeeing twins....one on each breast. It grossed her out so much she couldn't breast feed her baby!!! I think this same thing could happen with the picture....women could think.."Oh my God!!!!" No way!!!!

One thing I forgot -- I agree 100% with Linda's felings about the La Leche League and their intrusiveness upon new moms.

Every lactation specialist or La Leche League member I've ever dealt with personally after having my own kids was patronising, condescending and exasperating. Instead of being supportive and encouraging, they were more like Boob Nazis -- and I saw this in play again after my grandson was born.

The women who came in to "assist" my daughter did nothing but frustrate her and make her feel like a substandard or inadequate mother when she began to have problems right from the start. Eryn finally told the post-partum nurses to keep them OUT of her room, and I backed her up on that. They were pushy and rude; lots of huffs, sighs and eye-rolling when Eryn asked questions or evidenced difficulties.

Not very good representatives of an excellent cause.

When I was born in 1964, it was "the thing" to bottlefeed. So I was bottlefed. And I survived and thrived. I would think a new mother has enough anxieties about not screwing up the kid without fanatics badgering them in the hospital and others questioning their mom-chops if they are not stopping by their kid's kindergarten class for a quick feeding.

I hold with those who find the photo disturbing. The little brat ruined an otherwise lovely cover.

I agree with Lori that the photo seems to be intentionally shocking. I thought Time was supposed to be more main-stream journalism than trash mag, but that's what it looks like to me.

BTW, I breast fed all 3 of mine with varying results:

Jonathan for about 8 weeks until he went to daycare and wouldn't take it from the breast anymore. (Boy, was I sad when he wouldn't breastfeed anymore! It was a special time in my mind.)

Andrew for about 6 weeks until he started biting me (even though he didn't have teeth yet), and I was crying through the feeding.

Sarah for a year because she was an easy feeder, and I wasn't working anymore, so it was free and available. I knew all the best bathrooms in the mall! lol

I enjoyed being able to feed my kids the "natural" way for a while, but I certainly would never judge anyone who can't or isn't comfortable doing it.

You ladies were much too nice. When I had Deja, the nurse sent a La Leche League member into my room [I was 20 at the time]. I waited for her to introduce herself and explain her "purpose," then told her that not only did I not need nor want her help, but if she came anywhere near me or my baby again, I would scream at her and press harassment charges against her. I don't know who was more shocked, her or my mother, whose bright idea it was to bring the lady in my room.
Soon enough, I discovered that Deja couldn't nurse from my boobs, switched to bottles and went about my business. My only issue after that was when I was in a restaurant and this woman next to me whipped her boob out. Breastfeed all you want; I don't want/need to see your boob while I'm trying to eat. I was giving Deja a bottle and the woman gave me a look. I smiled and said "You're much braver than me. I'd NEVER breastfeed my daughter in a place with security cameras. Who knows how many pervs are pleasuring themselves while looking at your nipple?" She excused herself and went to the restroom. Probably not the best way to handle it, but again, I have zero desire to see your boob while I eat.

I nursed each of my 3 kids for over a year, 18 months, 24 months and 14 months. It was what worked for us. For us, as my kids got older it was one time before bed, or first thing in the morning. They ate food most of the time. The cover was ridiculous. But breastfeeding is always a personal choice and one that many moms wish they could and can't. Judging anyone on not feeding their baby breastmilk is wrong on every level.

Very late to this conversation - but I will toss in my 2 cents.

I was a bottle baby (born in '66) born to a mom that smoked - I was a healthy 8 pounds 12 oz - and grew up just fine.

My daughter came in at a whopping 9 pounds 12 oz (yeah - it was natural - and I got 3rd degree lacerations from her!) I refused any pain meds in the hospital as I was determined to be able to breast feed her. When the lactation nurse came in - she was the rudest bitch ever. Basically told me I was doing everything wrong, and that my child wouldnt thrive because of it. I was in tears. When she left and my nurse came in - I told her what happened - she was so pissed, and said she would make sure that she wasnt allowed in my room again. Hailey finally figured out how to latch on, my milk came in (I could have fed 10 kids - hubby was calling me Elsie!) and I breastfed her for 4 months - but it became to difficult after I had returned to work to just feed her in the mornings and at night and eventually I stopped producing. I missed the closeness of it - but when we finally found a formula that worked (Carnation Good Start) she did just fine. She is a bright, healthy almost 9 year old. I told my step daughter - when your baby is born, you do what YOU feel is right - not what anyone else tells you is right.

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