'Twas the morning of Easter and all through the cottage
All the cats were quite busy
With Rip-The-Baskets Easter plottage.
Plastic grass was a cushioning all the goodies so gentle
While somewhere in CA Barbra still dreamt of Yentil (<---it rhymed, sue me).
The kids were still nestled all snug in their beds
Their blood sugar so normal, but to soon shoot through their heads.
Rudy deep in slumber, me drinking my tea
Had not even clue 1 of impending Cat WW3.
When the noise from downstairs sounded like a big truck
I spilled tea on my shorts and uttered WTF???
Sprinting down the hall I looked like Mrs. Flash
Grabbed the nearest squirt bottle and hit Rocky in the ass.
The moon on the spray of her newly wet hiney
Illuminated her eyes filled with hate oh-so-shiny.
When what to my frustrated eyes should appear, but the whole gaggle of felines
With no squirt bottle fear.
Bebbin was their leader, dressed in Navy Seal gear
Rubber suit stretched in place, scuba mask strapped cross her ears.
More rapid than Team 6 her comrades they came
And she hissed and commanded and put Patton to shame.
Rocky wore a snorkel, Lola a bell helmet
Nugget had on swim fins, and I muttered, "Oh no. SHIT."
Leo was the stealthy one, so tricky and sleek
He already had strewn three baskets worth of Peeps.
Like dry leaves that crunch and strew pieces dismembered
Plastic grass will still surface come turkey and November.
All through the living room the candy was strewn
As I chased them with a mop, a slipper, and a broom.
And then in an instance, I heard from behind
Bebbin gave an order to Team 6 Feline.
As my guts turned to liquid and I turned around
I saw I was circled by cats on the ground.
Their years of compliance were nothing but a ruse
All this Easter sugar had finally lit their fuse.
Lola's teeth held a Peep like a dead backyard vittle
Nugget's maw full of Starburst, Leo strung out on Skittles.
Their eyes were all glassy, their cheeks oh so smeary
Chocolate bunnies all lay deaf, the carnage 'twas quite eerie.
Lola's droll little mouth was all covered in sugar
Bebbin's fur was all matted with corn syrup "boogers."
The stump of a Bunny Nug held tight in his jaws
Bebbin had Laffy Taffy stuck in her front paws.
Lola was yet fatter, like a tick full of blood
Leo's mouth full of drool and some Cadbury Cream Egg Easter cud.
A wink of Bebbin's eyes, and a twist of her head
Soon made me to know I had still more to dread.
She spoke not a word, just a hiss and a growl
Their sugared up fartage filled the air oh-so-foul.
Then raising her tail, they assembled so quickly
And covered my carpet with diarrhea, quite thickly.
Then she sprang to the railing, to her team gave a hissy
and away they all slunk leaving me really pissy.
But I heard her exclaim as more juice left her keister
NEVER forget we're in charge, and oh, yeah, Happy Easter.