I will be 46 in roughly a month.
Or maybe that should be, I'll be a rough 46 in a month?
I don't consider that to be old. I don't think I look old. I certainly don't feel old.
But today, someone from my childhood died. Someone important. Someone seminal. My first real crush.
And in this moment, I feel ancient. If you are on either side of 46 by a couple years, chances are you feel the same.
Davy Jones has passed away of a heart attack, at the age of 66, taking with him a piece of my youth.
Yes, that Davy Jones, of Monkees fame. (He was an employed actor long before the Monkees creators found him, but he will be best remembered as the adorable, tambourine playing, maracas rocking frontman of the Monkees. And he was performing right up to the end. Last night on stage in Florida.)
My generation got The Monkees on their second go 'round - in reruns, but boy were they popular. So popular that when they advertised their records on TV, my Mom made my sister and I buy our own sets so we would never fight over who got them.
(Kim? Where the hell are those records anyway?)
My sister adored Peter, and friends of ours coveted Michael and Micky. But Davy was MINE. In all our make believe scenarios, he belonged to me. He longed for me. He loved me. (And in that picture there? He's still looking AT me.)
Ahhhh, the sweet, deluded imagination of youth. Yes, deluded. After all, I was only 10. But my passion burned brighter for him than even that special spot my heart held for Donny Osmond in bell bottoms or Robby Benson in basketball shorts.
When he sang Daydream Believer, he was singing to me. A Little Bit Me, A Little Bit You? Singing about me and him, of course. And when he warbled I Wanna Be Free? Of anyone but me. They made him sing that.
He was adorable, funny, pocket sized like me.
And that spot in my heart that remains a little girl forever will miss him.
Thanks for the memories, Davy. And thanks for being a little bit of me, my childhood, my innocent dreams. And of course, a part of my (and my daugters') iPod.
Here's one of my favorite songs - he and Micky laughing it up on the silly, I'm Gonna Buy Me A Dog.