What would you do for a Klondike bar?
So goes the cute commercial jingle intimating that the little square of chocolate covered ice cream is worth sacrificing your dignity, degrading yourself in some way, and possibly trampling others in the process.
Kind of like Fear Factor, only with dairy treats taking the place of cash in the cold, hard stakes.
Personally, in my pre-vegan days - I imagine all I would do for a Klondike Bar was drive to the store and drop $5.
And as for Fear Factor? Sorry, $50k would never be enough to make me slurp horse rectum. (I honestly don't think there is a price tag on that.)
But people are people, meaning different strokes for different folks. My fellow humans scarf down live bugs to win contests, gutbomb whole hot dog carts to win trophies and bragging rights, and generally stretch the limits of personal creativity in order to gain the edge in whatever competition has caught their attention.
Which brings me to today's winner of the This Person Shares Our Oxygen Supply trophy: Andreas Muller of Germany.
Andreas's creativity went into overdrive when he heard on the radio that they would be giving away a Mini Cooper for the "craziest ... most idiotic stunt."
Forget lame offerings like painting his house purple or getting a Mini Cooper shaved into his hair. That is so 90s.
No, Andreas decided to go big, or go home ... go balls to the walls ... sack up ... he wasn't jerking around.
Yes, Andreas had the word MINI tattooed on his penis. Look, I'm not a guy, but were I, I don't think I would do this - WOOD you?
I don't know who I feel sorrier for - him or the guy having to do the "honors."
He won and stated, “Once I’m sitting in the car, it won’t matter anymore. Then the pain will be gone and it’ll be alright.”
My guess is, judging by the wrist brace, that hand will have ample to to heal. Ahem.