Don't Get Me Started with Linda Sharp

Oh Shit

That title is not meant to be funny - it's simply what I was left here thinking after reading a news link sent to me this morning.

And it's not meant to be a "ha ha" because some of the content deals with dirty diapers.

It's simply what I'm left with because another tiny child in this world is dead because he had the audacity to poop his pants.

Yeah.

Five year old Braeden Gardner pooped his pants and this PIECE OF SHIT killed him.

 

Eduado Zamora, Jr.  What a guy, huh?

He lived with Braeden and Braeden's mother, Amber.  (She has currently not been charged in her child's horrific death.)

On Wednesday, Zamora called 911 because Braeden was not breathing.

(Hard to do when you have shit stuffed in your mouth, Eduardo.)

Paramedics immediately suspected foul play as they worked on the child and discovered how bruised his tiny body was.  They called for police who arrived and began to investigate.

They found feces smeared on a wall, in some small underwear, on a bed, and on a towel in the bathroom.

Zamora, when faced with police and mounting evidence explained that because Braeden had wet his bed, he was "on restriction".

Restriction apparently involved being beaten by Zamora.

He went on to explain that after another accident, he "spanked" the child then saw his eyes were flickering and he was not responding.

Gee, asshole, ya think?

Police then asked about the extensive bruising on the child's body. 

Oh that?  Well, that was from an earlier beating dished out by Zamora.  According to the police report, "Zamora said he has also been defecating himself, and he's not responding to the discipline."

Not responding to the discipline.

I love that.  A POS who is easily 3 bills routinely beating a five year old little boy.  I'm an adult and if I saw this 300 pound+ human excrement constantly coming at me, I'D shit my pants in fear, too.

The child, who was found with feces in his mouth, was pronounced dead by doctors at the hospital.

Poor Zamora.  He's just all kinds of upset over this - he just can't believe he killed a little boy.

So he's on suicide watch now.  (I think the police should leave a length of rope in his cell and turn their backs.)

Cry me a river, Eduardo.  YOU KILLED A DEFENSELESS CHILD BECAUSE HE POOPED HIS PANTS.  THEY DO THAT, ASSHOLE.

Good luck in prison.  Maybe after your O-ring is so used up by the other inmates that you can't hold your own shit in, you'll have a little more sympathy.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Footnote:  This happens quite a bit.  And it is simply sickening.  Small children pee and poop - that's what they do.  And some take longer than others to nail down the whole potty training issue, especially when being raised by such parenting "experts."

According to the article, the same detectives have responded to the deaths of two other small children guilty of the same infraction in the past few years.  Last year, a 4 year old wet his diaper in the middle of the night and was punched in the stomach and then thrown into a wall.  A 3 year old who died in 2005 had been forced to eat feces when he pooped his pants.

A THREE YEAR OLD.

Again, I'm simply left with OH SHIT.

Dallas IRL Reminder

Reminder that I'll be in Dallas on Saturday for an IRL!  If you are interested in details, please email me directly!

And as for the Austinites?  I'm up for an IRL here anytime.  Let's get one together!  (Paul - when do you guys perform at the Oasis again?)

ANTI Pasti

UPDATE - 420p -

The original reporting was based on this statement from Sherri Bruen, Olive Garden's guest relations manager - she responded to a complaining patron's letter that "there will be no more Olive Garden ads scheduled for 'The Late Show' with David Letterman in this year's broadcast schedule."

"We apologize that Mr. Letterman's mistake, which was not consistent with our standards and values, left you with a bad impression of Olive Garden."

Now Olive Garden is claiming through another spokesperson, Rich Jeffers: "... No authorized spokesperson for the company confirmed the information..." in the first report.

"The Olive Garden media schedule is planned months in advance. The schedule for the Late Show with David Letterman was completed earlier this month. We take all guest concerns seriously. And, as always, we will factor those concerns in as we plan our advertising schedule in the future."

Interestingly, he has not responded to the question about whether they ARE pulling the remaining ads.

Olive Garden is owned by Darden Foods -Longhorn Steakhouses, Red Lobster, Bahama Breeze, The Capital City Grill, Rocky River Grillhouse, Season 52, China Coast

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'm simply going to put this out there - provide the link - and people can come down on the issue whichever way they desire...

Olive Garden has decided to pull its remaining ads for the year from running during The David Letterman Show.

Their choice.

Personally, I think it's a stupid choice, and personally I will be pulling my dollars from their establishments.  And personally, I think if this is how they roll, then they need to be consistent, do their research, and start pulling their ads from every late night show, every network - they have all bandied plenty of Palin family jokes around.

The joke was no worse than any of the other jokes about the Palin family, Chelsea Clinton, et al, made by any other late night comedian.  What WAS heinous was the way Sarah and Todd Palin decided to turn it into a joke about raping a child.  (And of course, in true Palinesque form, she managed to warp her acceptance of his apology into some ramble about our military...)

That's NOT what was ever said by Letterman.  But by repeating something enough times, it slowly foments into "fact" in some people's minds - as was evidenced in that stellar group of protesters I posted yesterday.

Anyway - if you agree with Sarah - go for it.  Let Olive Garden know how happy you are with their decision and make plans to eat their salad and breadsticks tonight.

If you disagree?  Same link - let them know you'll cook your own pasta from now on.

OLIVE GARDEN FEEDBACK FORM

Ugh. Seriously. Just UGH.

Up To Speed On Iran

The unrest continues today In Iran as hundreds of thousands of protesters continue to come together, to take to the streets in a show of solidarity.

The news we are receiving still continues to be hampered by the fact that those in charge have pulled the plug on news services, kicked out reporters, taken down websites, and blocked access to others.

But for those who are keeping tabs on what information manages to get out via Twitter, phone call, etc, you know the situation is one of bravery (opposition goes over much like a lead balloon - and sadly, a lead bullet, in come cases) and revolution.

CNN posted this piece this morning and I thought it may be helpful reading in getting up to speed - at least on the basics - on what brought them to this place in their history, and what is currently transpiring.

Iran 101: Understanding the unrest

"Massaging" The Truth - No "Happy Endings" Here

File this one under:  I Just Feel Sorry For The Wife & Kids

Jeff Archuleta, who made such a wonderful name for himself by being an overbearing PITA while his son, David, was on American Idol, is in hot water.

Well, maybe that costs extra... never mind.

Jeffrey was apparently busted in a prostitution sting at the Queens of Reiki massage parlor in Utah back on January 14th.

Of course, his attorney, Eric Bauer, swears his client was only there for a legitimate massage (bad back) - despite pleading No Contest to solicitation charges.

AND despite the Midvale Police report which states they interviewed Jeffrey at the parlor and he admitted to receiving sexual gratification from the female masseuse.

I have a bad back.  I get massages.  AT PLACES WITHOUT PROSTITUTES.

Somehow I doubt his insurance covers those happy ending type rubdowns.

The lawyer maintains this was the first time Jeffrey ever went there, and poor guy, was just caught in the wrong place at the wrong time. 

You mean like in a prostitute?

Poor David.

It was bad enough to be saddled with his hat wearing asshat of a father during Idol, but to now have dear old Dad outed as Dear Old John?

Bauer advised his client to plead No Contest in the hopes there would be No Publicity.

Good luck with that, Jeff.

Superintendent Nets Failing Grade At Graduation

Hard to believe that I graduated from high school 25 years ago.

Yikes.

That's two and a half DECADES. 

Shit.  When you can start using special words like DECADES, you can practically hear your arteries hardening.

Well, though it has been so very many years since I donned that hella-ugly gold cap and gown, I still remember the excitement of the day.  I remember standing with equally atrociously garbed classmates in the cafeteria - all of us full of nervous energy, ready to enter the crowded auditorium to Pomp and Circumstance, feign interest in the speakers, and then take that walk of fame across the stage, shake hands with the Principal and Superintendent, and grab that Holy Grail of Education - the high school diploma.

Would we trip?  Would we stick out the wrong hand to shake?  Would we smile like doofuses as our families cheered our name?

Yeah, back then it was perfectly acceptable to cheer your child's name being called.

Now, not only do you have to contend with metal detectors and bag checks, your family must sign a Code of Conduct stating they shall refrain from any outbursts or disturbing cheers or chants.

OK, fine.  No one should be bringing in air horns.  And certainly no student's extended family should be able to start the "wave" - I get that.  And the students accepting diplomas shouldn't do cartwheels, flash gang signs, or salute the crowd with their bare asses.  Graduating classes in my area have upwards of 600+ students - that kind of buffoonery from the throng could get a tad out of hand and these things already run long enough that you need to pack a lunch (although they search your bag and make you throw it away).

But what happened to a Maine student recently takes this whole protocol issue to a sad extreme...

Justin Denney, of Bonny Eagle High School, crossed the stage this past Friday to receive his diploma.  As he did, he took a second to smile at his family, blow his mom a kiss, and gave them a little bow.

And for doing so, the superintendent told him to go sit back down.  Yes, the SOUPerintendent Nazi, Suzanne Lukas, basically said, "No diploma for you!"

Justin and his family, like thousands and thousands across the country signed a code of conduct promising no misbehavior.

But I have to ask.  Is blowing your mom a kiss a bad thing?  Is showing exuberance over having survived four years of Mr. Gareth's yellow teeth, Miss Sweeten's tendency to fart and think no one heard (or smelled), or the fact that Mr. West always smelled like pee a bad thing?  No, you shouldn't ride the seats like Roberto Benigni at the Oscars, but hell, you should be able to crack a smile. 

There were other students denied their diplomas as well, but they were kids who smuggled in beach balls and began tossing them around.  That is misbehavior.  Not exactly pulled-a-samurai-sword-from-under-my-gown misbehavior, but misbehavior nonetheless.

But for the crime of blowing a kiss, Justin's moment was denied him and he STILL does not have his diploma, although the assistant superintendent told a reporter this past Monday that he will receive it.  (Ms Lukas is presumably hiding under a rock.)

Justin's parents are understandably upset.  His father said, "It's a once-in-a-lifetime event. It's like a wedding, it's like a birth. There's no do-overs. She stole his once-in-a-lifetime dream of graduating high school with pride and honor and she squashed it and left him feeling humiliated in front of the entire high school."

Personally, I graduated with roughly 300 other kids - no code of conduct hanging over our, or our families, heads, and we had a perfectly perfect ceremony.  People cheered.  A few of the class clowns did something that made the crowd laugh.  And we all received our diplomas.

In this day and age, when schools battle guns, bomb threats, drugs, rapes in the school bathrooms, etc - I think a tad of perspective is in order. 

Seriously, if a teen boy wants to blow his mother a kiss?  Take it.  Because sadly, today, that's the exception, not the rule.

Someone get the dunce cap - this superintendent needs to go sit in the corner for a while and think about what she's done.

Forget Texas, The Real Secessionists Are In ... Long Island?!?

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Long Island Wants to Secede
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor Jason Jones in Iran

Yeah, This Is SO Much Better Than A Bad Joke

All FIFTEEN protesters outside David Letterman, championing Sarah Palin...

Yep, such honorable, fine, upstanding folk. Who, for the record, can't even get their facts straight. (Um, A-Rod plays BASEBALL, not basketball.  Dave has a SON, not a daughter.)

Love the lady who hollers, "He will rape them with his mouth!  He is a child abuser!" about Dave.

For the record, it was Sarah and her husband who made the rape reference, NOT David Letterman.  They extrapolated the joke made about Bristol to be about Willow (who must be SO proud) being raped by A-Rod.  But when you say something enough times, it eventually becomes FACT, right?  Apparently these people think so...

And while I still do not think Letterman needed to apologize to the Palins for them turning a joke into a call for statutory rape, David has kept HIS sense of humor.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/06/17/letterman-takes-on-fire-d_n_216664.html

Another Nail In The GOP Coffin - Make That Two

Not one day after the story of Rusty DePass's Facebook gorilla smear against Michelle Obama, comes this lovely piece of racism out of Tennessee.

Sent by a Republican staffer - Sherri Goforth, an administrative assistant to state Sen. Diane Black, R-Gallatin - it was emailed out with the heading "Historical Keepsake Photo."  The email also indicates it was paid for by the Tennessee Republican Party.

 

There he is - our President, right after Bill Clinton, and George Bush - makes you feel all warm inside, doesn't it?

Sherri has cried "Oops!"  It was sent to GOP staffers, but she says she accidentally sent it "to the wrong list of people." 

I bet she's right - after all, like I said yesterday, not every Republican is an ignorant racist.

She has not apologized for how heinously WRONG the thing is on all fronts.  She has only regretted sending it to the wrong people.  You know, people like Sherri, who think black people are less than they are.  Another example of "only sorry she got caught."

She has received a "strongly worded reprimand" in her file from Senator Black. 

Oh, well then, that makes it all better.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Coming in 2nd in today's GOP embarrassment stakes:  Married Nevada Senator John Ensign, who today admitted to having an affair with a married campaign staffer between December 2007 and August 2008.

This would be the same John Ensign who made this statement on the Senate floor several years back: "Marriage recognizes the ideal of a father and mother living together to raise their children. Marriage is the cornerstone on which our society was founded. For those who say that the Constitution is so sacred that we cannot or should not adopt the Federal Marriage Amendment, I would simply point out that marriage, and the sanctity of that institution, predates the American Constitution and the founding of our nation. Marriage, as a social institution, predates every other institution on which ordered society in America has relied."

Where are these Family Values I keep hearing about?  And isn't their definition of marriage ONE man and ONE woman?  Not ONE man, ONE woman, and a piece on the side?

Ensign also happens to belong to that wonderful Christian men's organization, Promise Keepers.

Sniff, sniff... I love the smell of hypocrisy in the morning ... and the afternoon ... and the evening...