Don't Get Me Started with Linda Sharp

Susan Boyle - 2nd Place, But A True Winner

I have only one thing to say.  Life has NOT killed the dream she dreamed - her dream has only just begun to be realized.

Putting The Sham In Sham Wow

Oh My Lard

Tracy just sent this to me and I have to say THANK YOU.  It has been a helluva long, frightening day with Carson in the ER, and I so needed to lighten up before heading to bed.

Big Butter Jesus.  Let some full fat laughter melt away your stress, too.

A Note From Charlie :O)

Charlie may be tiny, but he has a huge sense of humor.  (Ok, ok - his ghostwriter is pretty funny...)

Since writing about him a few days ago, he has continued to gain weight, now tipping the scales at just over 4 pounds!  While the road ahead is still a long one, he is surrounded by enough love to sustain a whole village.  Karen and Tom are incredibly strong, focused, and determined, and like I said, Charlie's attitude is pretty darned good, too...

Here's his latest contribution on his take on "life".  :O)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Walkers & Talkers,

Baby Charlie here. Sorry I haven't been posting more regularly, but the doctors say my full-time job is to sleep and breathe. So that's what I've been doing: sleeping and breathing, with the occasional poop thrown in to keep things spicy.

Speaking of poop, I started feeding for real yesterday, as in breast milk, and my stomas are working overtime. This, I'm told, is a good sign. The nurses all marvel at my output, saying my digestion is "perfect," and so I predict more milk and less TPN (Total Parental Nutrition) formula in my future. Can I just say that even though I was fed through a tube and couldn't actually taste the milk, it felt good and natural and warm in my belly? It felt right. If I had a glass I'd be signaling the bartender for a refill.

You all know that Mom & I Kangaroo Cared on Friday night. I fell asleep as soon as I hit the cleavage. When I awoke, Mom said, "Can I keep him here forever?" If I could have spoken, I'd have asked the same thing.

Last night I Kangarooed with Dad. It was OK, but nowhere near as relaxing as with Mom. For one thing, no cleavage cocoon. For another, he was so nervous about holding me that he kept saying to the nurse, "Is this right? Am I holding his head right? Is he comfortable?" Then he'd shift me around before she could answer. I dug my toenails into his belly to signal that no, I wasn't comfortable with his paw on my face. Plus, the ventilation tube in my mouth kept yanking my lip. Mom said I looked like a large-mouth bass that'd been hooked. It took four people and an oxygen tank to transport me back and forth from the isolette to Dad's chest. When Kangaroo time ended, Dad said, "Let's not do that again until he's off the ventilator." I raised my little fist in solidarity.

Lying all day in this isolette gives me time to think about life, and my initial impression is it's pretty good. All kinds of people visit me, change my diaper, bathe me, tell me I'm a good boy, tell me they love me.

I mean, it's not all like that. Every couple of days someone sticks a needle in my foot to draw blood, and every few hours someone sticks a tube into my lungs to drain fluid. It hurts, but only for a moment. Then I sleep again until my parents show up and tell me I'm tough, I'm strong, I’m beautiful, I'm good, I'm loved. I like the sound of their voices, the way Mom speaks every sentence like a lullaby, the way Dad tries to hide his worry by making lame jokes like, "Look at those biceps! We should name him Thor." When no one responds he says, "Or Charles Atlas." Still no response. "Or Rambo. Where's the birth certificate and the White-Out?" I suspect the nurses pity me, especially Nurse Mimi who keeps saying, "You, Mr. Tom, are too much."

I just want to say thanks again to all the well wishers out there. I mean, I only just got here and already you've shown me concern and affection, kindness and love. If this is what I have to look forward to, this is going to be a great life.

Sleeping & breathing,
Baby Charlie

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Karen, Tom, and Thor Rambo Atlas enjoying more Kangaroo Care. 

Gay or Straight: MARRIAGE Is About Committment

You all know where I stand on gay marriage - hell, screw that term, I hate it.  MARRIAGE BETWEEN TWO PEOPLE.

I just read a piece by Rob Thomas and wanted to share it.  It is everything I always talk about and more.

The Big Gay Chip on My Shoulder

Murder, She Rolled

I like food as much as the next person.  Despite what anyone wants to surmise about my waistband size in relation to my food intake, I DO like food.

All kinds.  Japanese, Italian, Thai, Greek, Chinese - you name it, I'll eat it.

But my biggest weakness comes in the form of bread.  That yeasty, chewy goodness - the smell alone - can bring me to my knees.  I know I look like an ass everytime I walk into a Subway - I just stand there for a minute inhaling like some cracked wheat whore.

My kids are the same.  Carson believes the smell in a Subway is the best smell in the world.  Kendall views it as second best (first being the smell when you open the milk cooler in a grocery store - don't ask).  And Culley?  She'd slurp yeast out of a bowl.

Holidays have always found a basket of crescent rolls on the table - all golden and warm - and just waiting for a fight over who gets the last one.

I began avoiding that argument years back by making two cans of them, not one.  Problem solved.  Rolls for everyone!

You would think that kind of problem solving is just common sense.  But this sad story tells me I'm wrong. 

And that some people take their baked goods much too seriously.

A Michigan man is dead, his daughter in police custody, after a fight over dinner rolls .

Not even kidding.

This past Monday, just after 8am, police responded to a disturbance call.  They found the father, 62, wounded, and the daughter hiding in some bushes.

Unfortunately, Dad died at the hospital.

I know I don't knead to say it, but death over dinner rolls?  Talk about sourdough...

Olbermann Talks With Mancow About His Waterboarding Experience

Not surprisingly, Sean Hannity (insert sound of crickets) still maintains it's not torture.  Of course, he's not looking to prove it himself though...

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

Oh So PreDICKtable

The talking anal wart that is Rush Limbaugh stayed true to form today, immediately taking to the airwaves to make sure all the lemmings who live in every little corner of the country where his gutteral musings are pumped for FREE understand that President Obama's nominee for the Supreme Court is Baaaaaaaaad.

Sad that so very many of his listeners will simply buy his verbile (verbal bile) and not do an ounce of their own research on this woman who is completely qualified to take that SC seat.

But then, it's not as if Rush ever does any either.  He just immediately jumps to attack everything mode.  Hell, if President Obama personally found a cure for cancer, Limbaugh would find fault with that, too.  (Then again, a cure for cancer would wipe out the malignancy that is Rush...)

Limbaugh On Sotomayor: "I Want Her To Fail"

Jon and Kate Plus Hate

I'll be real upfront here - I have no sympathy for the Gosselin grown-ups.

Zilch.  Nada.

You sign up to have your life chronicled in exchange for freebies and fame - this is part of your deal with the devil.

The new season of Jon & Kate Plus 8 kicked off last night and TLC attempted through interview segments - those now famous couch moments in which Jon & Kate talk about their lives each episode - to broach the subject on every viewer's mind:  How's the marriage holding up?

The answer was painfully obvious.  It isn't.  The animosity between the two adults comes off them in waves.

Amid rumors that he cheated! NO! She cheated!  They both cheated!  They have an open marriage!  He lives above the garage!  She's never home! I imagine their lives have become a little less than appealing - even to Kate, who has always seemed to court the cameras.

Jon has been known as the beleaguered, ordered about, marginalized spouse since the show started.  And Kate's biatch-like attitudes towards him have become the stuff of internet legend.

One could argue that if Jon cheated, well, no wonder - he is married to a shrew who cannot be tamed.  If Kate cheated, well, no wonder - that body guard is a silver haired hottie and Jon is one sit-up shy of being an actual sloth.

My reply to those who think cheating is justifiable?  Um, no.  If your married life is that bad?  If you no longer love the person who wears your ring?  If you entertain fantasies which involve their demise?

Shit or get off the pot.

Grab your balls, say it's over, get a divorce, solidly move on - and THEN chase all the skirt or Dockers you want.

But don't whine to me about how hard your life is because of the TV cameras, Jon.  And Kate, cry me a river about being "misrepresented" in those tabloids.  YOU BOTH SIGNED UP FOR THIS - The GOOD, the BAD, and yes, the UGLY. 

Again, zero sympathy.

I reserve my thoughts for the 8 children who deserve more than a father with a frat boy complex, and a mother who pushes them away when the cameras aren't on so she can go do another speaking engagement, fly first-class, or work with her personal trainer.

Their words that they are concerned about their children ring very hollow.  If they are both so concerned - turn off the cameras.  Get rid of the constant stream of strangers.  AND PARENT YOUR CHILDREN.

Parenting is not the most glamorous gig in the world, but done right?  The rewards are far more gratifying and long lasting than a book tour or cover of People.  Done right, you get well adjusted, happy, loved, thriving children.

And that SHOULD be enough for both of you.

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

Susan Boyle's Star Continues To Shine

Singing sensation Susan Boyle has advanced to the finals of Britain's Got Talent.  She has a slightly shaky start on Memory from Cats, but quickly regains control and again, I simply cannot help but to smile the whole way through.  Enjoy!