If Positive Energy Could Mete Out Its Own Justice...

...then I know this blogmunity would be righting wrongs 24 hours a day.

It's become a regular thing here at DGMS for members to ask the gang for support during crisis, pain, scary situations.  And we rally.  Thousands of people who wouldn't recognize one another if they passed on the street, know each other in ways that really matter. 

I think that's the beauty of a place like this. 

Protected with facelessness (in many cases - although I know a lot of us have ponied up pictures), blessed with the subtle anonymity a comment box provides, we feel free to expose our hearts, our souls. 

And we rally.

This blog has seen confessions, admissions, soul wrenching anecdotes from personal experience, and real-time cries for help.

And we rally.

We have sent a girl to college.  We have saved the life of a beloved pet (who is thriving, by the way.  And each time I see Boo Radley, I am reminded of the generosity of so many virtual strangers who are real world Good Samaritans and friends.)  We have kept Santa alive when his existence was in serious danger.  We have cried and cheered as updates from a tiny baby named Charlie have warmed our hearts, and made our prayers & energy make God, the universe - whatever you believe in, pray to - sit up and pay attention.

I believe in God.  But I just as strongly believe in positive energy and the ability to direct it, en masse, towards someone in need.

So I am here again asking for you to do just that.  Direct your energy, your thoughts, your prayers, your hopes towards someone, several someones in need of support.

I'll let Natala take it from here... and then - we rally.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

*If you don't know the background - My brother and Melissa (his wife) met while serving in Iraq last year. She at the time was a single mom and had to leave her 2 kids behind in really bad conditions (their father really did not and could not support them well). She got back, Marcel and her were married soon after and found out they would be having a baby. Then they found out Marcel would be going to be re-deployed (again) this time to Afghanistan. He won't be able to come back for the birth. His job is in Tucson and so Melissa has been fighting to move to Tucson with her 2 kids. The ex can barely support himself and can't even pay for his housing. He also, if he wanted to, move to be closer to the children. (he has a min. wage job and nothing where they currently are). We all thought this would be an easy case, but it's turning out to be a lot more difficult. (that's the really short version of a much longer story)

So the investigator who is helping decide if Melissa can move to Tucson has recommended that it not happen, and that the kids stay in the state they are in, either with out her, or she would have to make the decision to stay there with the kids, but be 1000's of miles away from Marcel - meaning Marcel would have to be a long distance husband and father.

Thankfully, he doesn't decide the case - the judge does on Monday.
But his reason? Mostly that Melissa was deployed to Iraq for almost a year and basically that makes her unfit and a bad mom. Seriously, on almost every page of his report he sites her deployment and how hard it was on the kids and her ex husband (really? Sherlock?)

There is a lot more in his report that is so absurd and insane that I can't write it with out a lot of cursing, so I'll refrain.

What I am asking is that this weekend you send every ounce of good thoughts/vibes/prayers/dances/candles anything you've got her way. The case is on Monday at 10AM.

The best thing is for Melissa to move to Tucson with Marcel and have her baby there. With her 2 children.

Melissa's ex husband can hardly support himself let alone 2 kids, and will soon be with out a home - and this is who the investigator is siding with.

We are hoping the judge will have some sort of compassion and understanding.

Please send any notes you can to Melissa, she could REALLY use it right now. She's almost 8 months pregnant, Marcel is a world away, and she's got her 2 kids and all of this, it's not easy right now.

**You can join the facebook group "I'm here to support and encourage Melissa" (just type that into the search box)

Also, if you haven't seen it - there is an ongoing "online shower" if you want to help them out in that way.
http://event.pingg.com/MelissaBabyShower

I'm so sad and ashamed how the country treats our troops, seeing every thing that Marcel and Melissa have been through has been devastating. If you know someone serving, or a family who has a loved one serving, please consider helping them out - families, and single people. The govt does not do a thing to support the troops.

So all of that to say - please keep them in your thoughts all weekend and on Monday, join the group on facebook to leave some uplifting notes of encouragement, she could really use it right now.

Thanks so much,
Natala

Comments

[NaShara]

My prayer and positive energy are pouring out for Melissa. Stay strong!

[Liz in CT]

Keeping Melissa and the whole family in my thoughts and prayers during this insanely difficult situation. My eyes cross each time I read an update; it just makes no sense at all.
I hope and pray things will be made right tomorrow and she can finally move on with the rest of her life.

[natala]

Thank you so much Linda - and thank you to DGMS and all of you who have been so supportive to my family. The lawyer is working overtime all weekend, and really thinks that he will be able to get the outcome that is best.
I will let everyone know as soon as I know the outcome tomorrow.
much love,
natala

[natala]

*I'm going to send any well wishes/thoughts to Melissa that are posted here at the end of the day so she has something to hold onto tomorrow morning.

[Cheryl S]

Sending prayers and hugs Melissa's way, and I will also get on the shower site and see what I can do there. Good luck Melissa!

[Nikki]

I hope it all goes the way it should. This investigator sounds like he has a bias against women somehow.

Good thoughts flying!

[Leslie]

Good luck and best wishes Melissa - you have served your country and sacrificed so much already. I so very much hope that the law serves you well tomorrow morning. You deserve so much more than just permission to go to Tucson.

[Michelle in IL]

Good luck tomorrow Melissa. My thoughts are with you! The investigator sounds like a real jerk and I hope the judge realizes that!!!!!

[ChickyChick (Kathy)]

Melissa, I believe our good thoughts and prayers can move mountains, so I am sending you prayers and positive energy from New York. I have kept up with all your updates from Tal, and am outraged every time I hear the next phase of the story. Your children belong wherever their momma is - period. Any chance their deadbeat dad will grow a heart in the next few hours and see that that is what is best for his kids?

[Jennifer]

It never ceases to amaze me that some people just don't have the common sense God gave a piss ant. Hhhmmm...Mom has a stable home life, albeit one in a different state, and Dad can't support himself & is losing his home but he is the better choice?? Seriously.

I will be sending positive energy tomorrow.

[audreyf]

I am on board Natala!

[Joe L Otown NY]

I feel for Melissa but why should the father and the kids suffer because Mom wants to be with her husband what happens if he is sent back to Iraq should she be allowed to follow him there. I did not see anything negative about him other than he is about to lose his home, have any of you seen the news a lot of people are, also he only has a "minumum wage job" honey your a snob a lot of peple have only minimim wage jobs does not make them bad parents. If this is allowed to happen it will be the death of this fathers relationship with his kids.

[Joe L. Otown NY]

I forgot to say something in my last post. How can you make it about treating the troops poorly this is a mother wanting to take a fathers kids half way cross country were she knows that because of the fathers current money woesw he will be unable to be a part of thier lives and because the investigater is siding with the father tha he has the right to be a part of the kids lives. How that turned to an afront to the troops is beyond me. Its like when you are against the war you dont support the troops.I know that mine is the minority opinion but as a single father who has not seen his son in 2 years because I tried to be nice to my ex and let here move 6 hours away from me. I say this this fathers rights have got to be protected

[Theresa from Virginia]

Something against woman? Something against our servicemembers? Surely not! (with as much sarcasm as possible)

Many prayers for Melissa and her children and the best possible outcome for all.

And to Joe: if the investigator repeatedly cited the mother's military service and deployment as "hits" against her, then that appears to be a bias - it would apply just the same had the parent been the father. Uncle Sam wants you to go defend the country, but punishes you for going? Give me a break!

Do you have joint custody of your son? If so, protect your rights. But don't assume that every case and situation is the same as yours and automatically defend the father because you think, as a father, you are getting the shaft - consider the circumstances on their own merit.

[Another Lori in TX]

Melissa, sending positive thoughts and prayers that everything gets settled the way that you want.

[Katy]

Natala: I'm late chiming in, but count on me for prayers and positive energy. If the outcome is not what your brother and sister-in-law hope for, I would strongly encourage them to continue the fight, contact their congressmen in each state, local news stations, etc. I think if it got some public attention, especially since both people have served our country, something will be done to make sure they are all together as a family.

[Julie G]

Situations like this never have an easy, clear-cut answer that works out well for everyone involved. Here's hoping the court finds the wisdom to sort out the details and decide at least what is best for the 2 children. Adjustments will have to be made my someone, no doubt, but I'm praying that everyone involved will try to get along and work together for the sake of the entire family.

[Joe L. Otown NY]

Theresa, I have nothing against our service members, but I do have a problem with what they were ordered to do by the Bush Administration. If a father tries to a part of his childs life pays his support is not abusive or neglectful how can you seperate him from his kids. In my opinion how much money you make does not decide how well you parent. I have no problem with women but does sometimes seem that a males rights end at the end of intercourse other than the right to open up his check book.

[natala]

Joe - you have no idea what they have been through, nor the entire situation, you have no idea what this man has done to his family, to his kids.

You have no idea what the govt. has done to my brother or his wife. You have no clue what my brother has been through, what Melissa has been through, and how poorly they have been treated (all the troops really). You know nothing, but yet you choose assume and to offend me and my family.

I'm all for fathers being involved, but this one has not proved that he should in any way shape or form be involved, but that is really non of your business at all. And nor should I have to explain to a complete stranger and internet bully all of what would be best for my family.

Just because your situation is the way it is don't assume that every situation is the same, nor that you know anything at all.
And as for being a snob?
I grew up homeless, I had a wonderful father, so before you go calling me a snob? think for a second before you write. I know probably more than most that it doesn't take money to be a good parent. I know this because I slept in cars growing up, that is what my father could provide, and he did what he could. So again, please, before you go making yourself out to be a complete ass, know that there is always more to the story.

I would really appreciate if you just not say anything more about my family.

Marcel and Melissa both are reading these comments, they really don't need another person attacking them or our family.

[natala]

and to everyone else (sorry, this is not the morning to go attacking me and my family)

I want to say thank you for your thoughts, prayers, notes, and concern. I know that Melissa this morning is being supported in so many ways, I know that you are thinking about my brother who is a world away and who is so nervous about every thing.

I will let you know when I know something. Thank you to everyone who has been so loving and caring.

[ChickyChick (Kathy)]

Tal, I know the hearing is 20 minutes from now. I will be sending everything I have in way of positive energy your way. Your family was in my prayers last night, and again this morning. Please don't let Joe the Ignoramus and his stupidity into your head.

Joe, we used to be co-workers, now we aren't, so I will say this with all sincerity. You are a complete fool for thinking that the Troll will EVER open that restaurant. You are being used in a game with Choice that you will never win. SB will confirm this if she were to be honest for once in her small pathetic life. He's already ruined your career, I never understood why you put up with it so long.

Linda and Tal, so sorry for the hijack.

[natala]

Thanks Kathy... that means a lot.

I'm actually glad you know "joe" my brother and I both thought he was a friend of the ex or the investigator for a minute - trying to upset and hurt them even more. It's good to know he really is just a stranger who doesn't know what he is talking about.

[Joe L. Otown NY]

If the man is unworthy of being a father then I wish Melissa the best of luck but the only reason you gave is that the man is almost homeless and works for minimum wage. That alone is not reason enough for a judge to away this mans parental rights which is what her move will basicly due. If the man has been found unfit to be a father then move away. I have seen the cases of parents losing their children because they were deployed over seas and find it to be disgusting, although I can see where a social services investigater could say that the absence is detrimental to a child. I would call this man an ass if he was attempting to have Melissa called unfit due to her service. I did not mean to offend anyone but parents of both sexes get the shaft in custody cases every day. It depend on who has the best lawyer I ask you this suppose your brother was the ex in this situation would you feel as strongly. again I meant no offence.

[natala]

Joe, again, I ask that you just not talk about my family, you've already offended and done your hurting for the day.
This day is hard enough, and I am mot going to entertain you with absurd questions. You know nothing of the situation, nor should you. So again, I ask that you just keep your thoughts to yourself.
You did mean to offend, what you said was not just offensive it was hurtful.
That's the last I'm going to say on it to you Joe.

[Debbie0116 to Joe]

I don't think anyone here will dispute "father's rights" with you -- when a father has BEEN a father, in word and deed. I think Linda was clear in her intention when she posted this piece: to rally the troops here at DGMS to offer support and encouragement to Natala and her family. The specifics of Marcel and Melissa's circumstances are nobody's business but those with whom they choose to share them. I'm sorry that you've been hurt by the system, but I join Natala in asking that you please refrain from making this a debate about parental rights. Time to just let it go and take a step back from this discussion.

[Joe L Otown NY]

It was never my intention to offend or hurt that is not my nature, ask ChickyChick, but fathers rights is a subject close to my heart. So I appoligize to any I offended

[SK]

I am just getting caught up with this blog so am a little late but my thoughts are with Melissa and her children and I hope and pray for the best outcome possible.

[Joe L Otown NY]

Kathy, you might be right I had heard a rumer of some thing between him and the city as well, but god I hope you are wrong. Either way I am stuck I can not make the same money elswhere unless i want to drive an hour or more each way or move which Lisa does noyt want to do. Hope all is well with you

[Paul]

"...good vibes, good vibes, good vibes..."

[Sue. Sacramento]

When it is all said & done it really should be what is in the best interest of the kids. If the judge does decide to allow Melissa to move, I would hope that she & Marcel would encourage the Dad to relocate to be closer to his children. Having been thru custody issues myself & dated men that were on the other side....it all just works best when the needs of the kids are put above all of the other petty nonsense. Natalya..how old are the children? Are they old enough to tell a judge what they want to do? Hope everything works out for the best.

[Tracy in Cincy to Natalya]

Natalya...any news about what the decision was?

[Pinkachink]

I'm confused- I know you don't want to release many details, but were the kids with their father while she was deployed? I don't think that makes her an unfit mother by ANY standard, but maybe that's why the investigator is being (clearly) biased?

Best situation is clearly for the father to move as well- in fact, his refusal to do so seems to be a red flag to me. But if he has friends, a support system, maybe he's just clinging to them? Of course, if he's alone then he's just being a jerk.

In any case, regardless of what the details are, what the story is, best wishes and prayers with Melissa and Marcel and of course the kids! No matter what has happened, it's a tough, awful situation for them all- but I know with family who clearly loves and supports them, they will make it through.