Dialing fingers at the ready? Have you been doing your phalange fitness routine? Getting in a little pointer Pilates? Good. Because this is the week we finally take the wheel and get this season back on track.
With the first group of 12 performing, and only 3 surviving Wednesday’s elimination, we really will begin to see who the American public has embraced, and who has, once again, totally suffered from zero facetime.
Tonight’s sacrifical lambs? Anoop Desai, Alexis Grace, Ann Marie Boskovich, Brent Keith, Casey Carlson, Danny Gokey, Jackie Tohn, Michael Sarver, Ricky Braddy, Stephen Fowler, Stevie Wright, Tatiana Nicole Del Toro.
My predictions as I write this precap, preshow? Danny Downey, Jr. will slide through with no problem. The guy is likeable, handsome, seemingly humble, and has one helluva sympathetic backstory. On the girls’ side? I’m thinking Jackie Tohn will vocally bitchslap the competition, especially Tatidrama.
As for the third person who will make it through? I’m calling it for Anoop Desai. And no, not only because I like typing Anoop.
AnoopAnoopAnoopAnoopAnoopAnoop...
OK, ok – I do like typing it.
Tonight’s fiesta buffet is two hours long, stuffed to the brim with Velveeta, so let’s get to it... you just know Tat’s outfit will be good for its own paragraph...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
With the kids assembled on the staircase, like some Brady Bunch on steroids – or maybe the Suleman Bunch minus 2? – Ryan (dressed as Ward Cleaver in slacks, dress shirt and a crew neck sweater) walked down past them, spewing Ryperbole the whole way. Tatidrama, dressed as a bowl of sherbet, nodded enthusiastically at every syllable.
Seriously, he could have been saying, And tonight, the contestants will each be stripped naked, dipped in tempura batter, and then deep fried before your eyes!
And she’d do it. Yes, Ryan, yes! Anything for my dream!
As it stands, it’s a bit simpler, and requires less grease – tonight they "face the toughest group of judges ... YOU!"
After all, THIS. IS. AMERICAN. IDOL. And WE have lots of telephones.
A quick hello to the judges – Randy sporting chin pubes, and a sassy black and white scarf; he and Kara must have called each other before the show, because like a good BFF, she was perfectly color coordinated in B&W; Paula was hidden beneath the latest mound of hair from the Lady Godiva Weave Company; and Simon was Simon, dressed in one of his thousand black sweaters.
Their advice?
Randy: Yo, you gotta be in it to win it. (Deep man, deep. Wish I had worn my hipboots for that.)
Kara: Forget your nerves. (Um, yeah. Biggest show in the universe, biggest shot at realizing their dream – to hell with nerves.)
Paula: Make magic happen in a minute and twenty seconds. (Isn’t that the business model of all Las Vegas hookers?)
Simon: The odds are stacked against you. (Ahhh, leave it to Simon to make their sphinters spasm. Blame any ensuing gravy leg on Cowell.) Oh he also points out that Ryan has no highlights in his hair. (Dude, where’s the pokey glow of gold?)
The kids will be singing songs from The Billboard Hot 100 – since the very first Billboard Hot 100 – so pretty much anything goes.
Drawing the short straw of doom? Jackie Tohn. Yep, her placement may be her downfall more than her performance. Dressed like the lovechild of Katy Perry and Sandy from Grease, she entered the neon Cheerio in a polka dot bustier, painted on stretch pants, and high tops.
Her performance of Elvis Presley’s A Little Less Conversation was OK. And I hate saying that. I like the song, and I like Jackie. But she seemed to be more into it than anyone else – prancing, working the stage. I like her raspy tone, but going first, combined with an "EH" performance? I may have to reshake my Magic 8 Ball and come up with a different girl prediction.
Randy lauded her "energy" and said she is "definitely a great entertainer"; Kara said that while it was not "the best vocal" she can certainly "work a stage"; Paula called her a "true performer"; Simon was a bit more like a spoon – very blunt – saying it was "ungainly," "gimmicky," and worse, "I don’t like the trousers."
No matter, Mama and Papa Tohn were with Ryan in the Red Room and were very proud of their little girl. For her part, Jackie kicked off Season 8 with the first finger origami, because, of course, none of us remember what the number 1 looks like.
Up next was Ricky Braddy, the cute 26 year old none of us have ever seen. Until tonight when we got a five second flashback to Hollywood Week.
OK, this guy has Wild Card written all over him. Crippled by lack of exposure, but blessed with a killer set of pipes, it won’t matter if we dispose of him tomorrow night, Paula is sure to go Curb Shopping and bring him back in by next month.
Singing A Song For You, my first note was WOW. Come on. We labor through agonizing episodes devoted to Bikini Girl and Tatidrama, and never get to see this guy? That’s just all kinds of wrong.
Ricky’s voice is controlled, measured, full. Definitely a voice you could hear on the radio. Problem? He is also the poster child for Human Oatmeal. Bland. The song was beautiful, but it was more of an I’m-in-the-top-6-and-have-a-following type song, not a first-time-anyone-is-ever-going-to-see-me song.
Nevertheless, Randy called it "unbelievable"; Kara accused him of murder, "You killed that song!"; Paula pointed out how wrong it is that America is just now seeing him and said, "make no mistake, you deserve to go very far in this competition."
See note above: WILD CARD.
Simon said he was "very, very good," but that "at the moment" Ricky has "no star quality...self belief...charisma."
No, but he does have two parents decked out in The Braddy Bunch t-shirts, and the ability to flash two fingers. Never underestimate the power of finger origami.
Alexis Grace has her shot at stardom next. The girl with the wind tunnel – Edward Scissorhands hairdo – I like her. Petite, spunky, grounded, adorable. The clip from her sitting with the judges highlighted her talking about having "dirtied" her look up a little.
Dirty or not, she’s still a doll.
Singing Never Loved A Man, a huge Aretha anthem, I admit I was impressed. Tiny body in a simple black dress, long knotted string of pearls – she has a huge voice, full of soul. Totally unexpected from someone who highlights their hair with cotton candy.
The only problem, having watched this show for so long, is that she chose a song that lost the Hello, Kitty crowd. The dialers with the keys to the kingdom are tweens and teens and if they don’t know the song, or cannot pick up on the chorus quickly, they lose interest. Alexis’s hope may lie in a Wild Card.
Randy said she not only "found the dirt" but also "the soul"; Kara said "the genie is out of the bottle!" (someone had better find Major Nelson); Paula went on and on about her "ability to present so much soul, so much passion, so much confidence"; and Simon tied it all up with, "By a mile, the best contestant we have had tonight."
(Pssst, Simon...there’s only been three.)
He compared her to Kelly Clarkson, then we got a crowd shot of Ted Danson – what’s this? Celebs crashing the party in these early rounds? Or maybe E list celebs can only get tickets to the early rounds?
AFTER. THE. BREAK
They finally work it out and we get to learn that – Hey! – Brent is just like us. Living paycheck to paycheck, struggling, loves his spouse, has a dream. Quite frankly, I’d say that’s the perfect assemblage (combined with his stubble covered square jaw) to insure success on the country charts or a middle management job anywhere in America.
Dressed in JEANS, an untucked gray shirt, and a dimple as big as the Grand Canyon, he sang Hick Town. OK, he wasn’t exactly Tim McGraw, but he also wasn’t Bucky Covington. And if Bucky Covington can find success in Nashville, this guy certainly deserves a shot. Unfortunately, given the Titanic lifeboat-seats-to-passengers-ratio of these elimination shows, he’s not going to get it. He’s going to be left bobbing up and down in waves of failure while his new BFFs that make it through pull a Rose, "I’ll never let go, Brent. I’ll never let go." If memory serves, Rose then lets go and Jack sinks into oblivion.
Randy employed one of his cliches, "Good lookin’ out" and said Brent gave a "new edge to country"; Kara scolded him for playing it "safe" and said his song wasn’t "rangey" enough; Paula continued the "country artist" accolades; and Simon, ever the common sense curmudgeon of the group, kept it simple, "You may have just blown a massive opportunity."
Stevie Wright (not to be confused with Brent Keith) is only 17 years old. Called an "old soul" in the early auditions, she was advised by Kara to "be young and bubbly" like a bottle of drug store champagne.
What better way to accomplish this? Glitter tennis shoes, skinny JEANS, a tunic top, one of my belts from 1982, and a Taylor Swift song, You Belong To Me.
Unfortunately for Stevie, the notes didn’t belong to her. From the very beginning she was flat, off key, and unable to keep up with Taylor’s need-a-third-lung-to-complete-the-lines breath control. (Don’t believe me? Sing along with Love Story next time it’s on. You will either pass out or end up trying to breathe through your ass in an attempt to finish one of her signature run-on lyrics.)
As the song went on, it also continued its downhill spiral. The screensaver of an octopus being lowered into boiling Jello didn’t help matters.
Randy said it was "not hot for me at all"; Kara, who told her to be young, now said she had "an identity crisis"; Paula said the "low range was awful"; Simon grabbed the Bandaid and ripped it completely off, "You have zero chance of making it through to the next round."
OUCH.
And who’s that? Neil Patrick Harris in the front row? Oh the humanity! To be dissed in front of Doogie.
Up next was Anoop Desai, who in his tape spoke of his goal being to "sing songs I’ve wanted people to sing while I’ve been watching the show and have my catapillbrows tweezed."
OK, I added that last part, but come on, dude. They look drawn on with a wide tipped Sharpie right now.
Taking the neon donut in JEANS, a blazer, and tennis shoes, Anoop began singing Angel of Mine.
We pause for a totally inappropriate, politically incorrect moment:
Am I the only one who keeps flashing to American Dreamz when he sings?
Never mind.
I thought he was great. His voice is rich, and he seems to connect with his lyrics. Plus, he’s just a cute guy (catapillbrows aside).
Randy said he has "mad love" for Anoop but that the song was " a little sharp"; Kara said he has " a lot of great potential"; Paula reminded him that "America has connected with you in a large way" (as in large amount of facetime up to now); Simon said the song was "a bit too serious" but that Anoop has "massive likeability."
For a moment, I was ready to give Anoop at least ten extra votes for keeping his fingers down, but then at the last minute he pulled out the finger origami – worse yet, he went for a two handed approach, flashing three fingers on each hand.
Another break (have to pay another judge this season, you know) and we returned to Casey Carlson, a beautiful girl who says she is going to sing Every Little Thing She Does by The Police because it’s "just one of those songs that makes you feel good."
Yes, yes it does. When sung by THE POLICE.
Like Jason Mraz, Bjork, and Liberace, some artists are so truly distinctive that no other human being should be allowed within a ten mile radius of their highly stylized songs. How is it we at home know these things, but the contestants always seem so clueless? I guess it’s like being able to solve the puzzle on Wheel while on your couch? I imagine we’d muff up Food Item: T_TER TOT if the pressure was really on?
I’d like to buy a "U", Pat.
TUTOR TOT? Come on. Then again, someone needed to tutor this tot about song choice.
Dressed in a gold lame’ skirt, black tank, and ankle boots, her hair on full fluff, things were looking good until she opened her mouth to sing. And I mean this girl OPENS HER MOUTH TO SING.
Yes, she vamps like Constantine Maroulis in a waist length wig, but what makes it worse is that she goes from Sarah Palin winky to rabid gopher – teeth bared - in the space of a note. When she sang the word STAAAAAAWWWWT (start), I halfway expected the A-train to come screaming out of the tunnel of her mouth – it was open that big.
But Smarmoulis, Palinitus, and rabidity aside – she had an even worse problem. The girl sounds like Miley Cyrus. Someone get Daughtry on the phone – we need a verse of Home Wednesday night for Casey.
Randy called her effort "weirdly karaoke"; Kara called it "overdone" and said "leave the Police alone"; Paula started with the kiss of death, "Guys think you are the most exquisite girl"; and Simon said she simply, "Shouldn’t have been allowed to sing it."
Up on the couch with her Mom, she actually stayed still while Ryan gave out her phone number. I said, "I’ll give her one vote for not fingering me."
Insert count of three.
My daughter replied, "That was so wrong, Mom."
Ahem. Moving on...
Michael Sarver, who, for anyone who missed the clip the first forty times, works on an oil rig. Taking the stage in JEANS and a white shirt by Rorschach – oh come on, that was an Ink Blot test come to life.
What did you see? Mayonaisse? Milk? A ghost? (Bonus points of you nail that sitcom and character.)
Singing I Don’t Want To Be, a song taken on by many past contestants, most notably Bo Bice (who had the cool to pull it off), I found myself really wishing Michael did better than he did. He seemed to be doing the hard sell, "Really ma’am, you need this vacuum cleaner. It will completely change your life and get those hard to reach hairballs."
Now, obviously life on an oil rig can’t exactly prepare you for 25 million viewers dissecting your every move and warble, but he just seemed very uncomfortable. Michael managed to get into it by the end of the song, but with only three spots open, I hope he didn’t quit his day job.
Randy said "it started out rough"; Kara said while he was "likeable," it also wasn’t his "best"; Paula focused on him constantly switching the microphone from one hand to the next (she gets dizzy easily); Simon wrote off the performance with, "if you get through it’s because America likes you."
And yes, if only one person was being ejected, Michael would definitely be safe.
Up in the red room, I admit I didn’t concentrate on what he was saying to Ryan, distracted as I was by how small Ryan looked next to Michael. It wouldn’t have surprised me to see Marie Osmond enter the screen and tell me how I, too, could own my very own hand painted Ryan Seacrest doll from QVC for only four easy payments of $19.95.
Anne Marie Boskovich was next in the spotlight. The girl is simply beautiful. The kind that usually causes a swift rush of sh*t to the heart, yet somehow, there’s nothing about her that brings out the catty in other females. She’s nice, humble, sweet.
Did I mention she’s beautiful?
Taking the stage in heels and a strapless blue, figure hugging dress, she took on an Aretha anthem, Natural Woman. Maybe that’s part of her likeability. She does come off as natural as opposed to held together with Botox, double sided tape, and silicone.
Her performance was fine. But on a night where memorable is the key, it simply wasn’t enough to insure her survival.
Randy called it "subpar"; Kara wanted her to sing something "more fun"; Mother Abdul coddled with , "You gave it your all"; and Simon assured her that if they were looking for "the best hotel singer in California" she’d win.
Up on the couch, Anne Marie sat down next to Ryan and gave a little yelp, "I sat on the hard part." Of course, Ryan, being the total skank he is, turned it into something filthy. (I always knew Ward Cleaver made June watch porn....)
Side note: Anne’s mother is gorgeous, too, and was that a twin sister on the couch?
Stephen Fowler, who proved lyrics just are not that important by forgetting his and walking off the stage during Hollywood Week, resurfaced one last time to sing Michael Jackson’s Rock With You.
I say one last time because there was absolutely nothing about this performance that indicated he should be anywhere near the neon Cheerio. Dressed in JEANS and an untucked shirt, it was a snoozefest from the first note to the last. In fact, the pattern on his shirt was louder and more interesting than he was.
Randy said "it was not the joint for you to be singing" (I love how Randy talks. He seriously believes he is the coolest dawg in da howse.); Kara said the song didn’t give him any room to "interpret"; Paula referred to choosing Rock With You as "the kiss of death" (see note about Mraz, Bjork, the Police above); and Simon called it a "pointless performance."
Now, by this point in the show, two things were obvious. 1. They had saved the best for last. 2. They had saved the worst for last.
Knowing that viewers will stick around to catch their favorite, and that by allowing a contestant to go last they insure said contestant simply will not be forgotten (Jackie Tohn, who?), Danny Downey, Jr. had yet to perform.
Tatidrama had not performed yet either.
Knowing that viewers love a good trainwreck, don’t tell me they had not purposefully held her off to the end.
She was up next, all tears and quivering lips in her footage, as she once again spoke about how hard Hollywood Week was, how she was misrepresented,
From her blog about Hollywood Week: DAYS HOURS OF PEOPLE HUMILIATING ME AND STABBING ME. (yes, all in caps.)
And of course, as to what we saw? It is only because I use the smiles to hide the true pain of all that I have endured and survived in my ever challenging past.
Dear God. Scarlett O’Hara, your table is ready...
Taking the stage in a chiffon bowl of sherbet with matching melon lipstick, the screensaver behind her depicting the vein in my head that was exploding, she began to sing Saving All My Love For You. Yes, leave it to Tatidrama to break the commandment of Thou shalt not sing a song by Whitney, Mariah, or Celine unless thou hast pipes installed by the same plumber.
As she began, her lower register, well, didn’t. She improved a bit as the song moved on, and honestly? If she weren’t such a proven wackjob, she may have had a chance (not that I will be surprised when the producers manipulate the votes to keep her around – think Tatjaya).
She made weird goo goo eyes with the camera and when she got to the big line we’ll be making love the whole night through-ooo, I couldn’t help but hear the next line as and when you dump me I’ll boil your bunny like rabbit stew-ew.
Really, this chick could scare Glenn Close, and cure Michael Douglas of his sex addiction in one fell swoop.
As she ended the song, she closed her eyes and flung her head back – Scarlett, do you have the vapors?
Good lord, what a piece of work.
Randy said she had a "couple moments" when she impressed; Kara just whined about missing the wacky Tatidrama; Paula said she is "probably the most talked about contestant" (ya think?); and Simon called her "a complete and utter drama queen" who is "desperate to be famous."
Mostly, all the judges just want Tatitanahahahaha back. Sorry, Tat, but we viewers have moved and left no forwarding address.
On the couch, Ryan hinted at more news from the psychic who predicted Tatidrama’s success, and she implored, "America, this is my dream and it’s up to you to keep it alive." (Flash to Nicole Kidman as that husband killing freakbag, Suzanne Stone, in To Die For: I look to you, gentlemen, now... to make that dream... a reality. Insert scary pupil dilation.)
I swear, you just know the other contestants avoid her like some oozy cold sore.
Wiping away the plague that is Tatidrama, Danny Gokey closed out the show with Mariah Carey’s Hero. Dressed in JEANS, requisite untucked shirt, some spiffy new frames, and a 7 o’clock shadow of stubble he, of course, nailed it.
I admit it. I. LOVE. HIM. I love his sound, his throaty vocals, his passion, his humility. He combines a unique voice like Taylor Hicks with the adorability of Elliott Yamin – you just find yourself rooting for him.
Randy christened him "The Redeemer of the Night" (not to be confused with Whitney Houston who is The Queen of the Night) and said he was "blazing hot"; Kara called him "incredible"; Paula envisioned "sold out arenas"; Simon is "just not buying the hype yet" although he also called him "a very, very good singer"; Tatidrama boiled a potion to rot out his vocal cords.
And so that’s it for Round 1 of our 36 finalists. As they played back the performances, I have to say that while I predicted Jackie at the beginning of the recap, I found myself rolling my eyes at her video recap. Going first, spandex pants, and a forgettable song?
I’m now thinking Danny (duh), Alexis, and Anoop. Although T.I.A.I. and we have never been allowed to see the actual voting numbers so I will not so much as blink when Tatidrama accepts her Oscar Wednesday night and slides through on another river of tears.
I will throw up. But I won’t blink.
Am I the only one who keeps flashing to American Dreamz when he sings?
NO! My husband said the same thing!!
Posted by: Rita | Wednesday, February 18, 2009 at 08:08 AM
Finally realized who Tatiana reminds me of -- that Kristen Whig character on SNL who one-ups everybody while twirling her hair. "Yes, America, I want this more than anybody, it's my dream and nobody else's, these are my cousins/not really my cousins/in Puerto Rico we say everyone is our cousin, blah, blah, blah.
Here's my guess: Alexis, Anoop, Danny, and the oil rig guy as the eventual wild card.
Posted by: Susan in PA | Wednesday, February 18, 2009 at 08:14 AM
Danny Gokey. Alexis Grace. Love, love, loved them. Cannot imagine who #3 will be though...
But is it just me or is new judge Kara a really big waste of time? I find myself wanting her to just go away. She annoys me.
And it's going to be one looong season if they keep sticking a commercial in between every.single.song.
Posted by: Karen in Sarasota FL | Wednesday, February 18, 2009 at 08:16 AM
I liked Alexis Grace and the 7th Braddy Bunch kid (seriously? Where did he come from?) I missed hearing Danny sing.
Some of them were spectacularly horrible, be it in their singing or their choice of songs.
I kept looking at Anoop, wondering if it was possible that his eyebrows really were that wide and shaggy, or if I was seeing an eclipse from the shadows they were throwing. If they did something with his eyebrows, his whole look would suddenly change for the better. They just make him seem so dark and depressing.
Best line of the night? When Simon asked “what did happen to Bucky Covington?” snort.
Like Karen, after the first song or two, I went – “And we have 2 hours, and there’s only 12 people singing? We’re going to be here forever.”
And as for “Save the Drama for your Mama” – save your Mama too. I don’t really care to hear from her, your proud papa, or any other member of your family. (Was it just me, or were several of the fathers quite possibly related to David Crosby?)
Posted by: Kerry | Wednesday, February 18, 2009 at 08:25 AM
Here's my hope - Ricky, Alexis and Danny. I can see Danny winning the whole thing. Fortunately for us we have 24 more people to go!! So happy our Idol is back to normal, I was so sick of the tryouts. Yay! Thanks for the recap Linda, great as always! (Someone had better find Major Nelson - lol!!!)
Posted by: Kari in WI | Wednesday, February 18, 2009 at 08:28 AM
And I agree Karen, I think Kara is just annoying. I don't know why they thought they had to toss her in there but I think they should get rid of her before next season.
Posted by: Kari in WI | Wednesday, February 18, 2009 at 08:32 AM
Thanks Linda! I found myself rewinding the DVR after it was all over to hear Ricky Braddy sing again, loved his song. Hopefully he will make it through, along with Danny, not sure of my third choice yet. Must go drink coffee!
Posted by: Irish M | Wednesday, February 18, 2009 at 08:36 AM
Thank God for my Tivo!! I got home from work at 11 pm, turned on AI and fast forwarded it through much of the show and commercials. Tatihaaaaaa has a nice voice, but whoever told her to act crazy in the beginning is now telling her to act sane and I, for one, am not buying it. I think the producers are working overtime on this one.
Danny rocked!!!!
Let's see who gets through tonight. It should be interesting!
Posted by: Susan in Florida | Wednesday, February 18, 2009 at 08:47 AM
Four judges are too many - did Kara say anything that wasn't also said by another judge? It just makes the judging take way too long.
I hope Alexis, Anoop, and Danny make it, but wouldn't mind Michael also making it.
Ricky and Brent are also fine with me, although I saw this morning that Brent has already competed (and come in sixth) on Nashville Star. How many chances on a signing show do you need to make it, or to realize that maybe you aren't a star?
Posted by: Tina in WI | Wednesday, February 18, 2009 at 08:48 AM
I will laugh all day at the Marie Osmond reference! I swear, you missed your calling as a comedienne! Maybe not. At any rate, I like Ricky, Alexis and Danny. I also think the songs should be selected for each person from three songs from the the judges--that way, it takes the onus off the contestant and the judges can rag on each other instead.
Posted by: audreyf | Wednesday, February 18, 2009 at 08:58 AM
Great recap....as always!! I read three or four other recaps each week and no one comes CLOSE to yours!!!
I agree with Linda....Danny, Alexis and Anoop are the three through and I think Ricky as the wild card pick.
I agreed with Paula on Michael's mike-flipping.....it was really distracting when he was singing.
I, too was surpirised that Tatiana wasn't half bad - she can sing, but she was a little freaky last night with the blank stare. I also did not like the parent/sibling/guest seating in the red room - it distracted from actually talking with the contestant after they sang. The "meet-and-greet" at the door after they sang, also added extra time to the show. Thank god I recorded it and FF through the commercials - it was an hour and a half show! Love it!
Thank you Linda!!!
Posted by: Stacey | Wednesday, February 18, 2009 at 09:17 AM
I definitely liked Alexis and Danny. And was very surprised that Casey sucked and Stevie sucked. Those were 2 I had my eye on. Did anyone else want to offer Casey a sandwich?? Those were MAJOR stick legs poking out from under that horrendous gold dress!
BONUS POINTS for "a ghost" reference: Joey Tribianni, Friends.
Posted by: Gayle in Iowa | Wednesday, February 18, 2009 at 09:20 AM
Kewl recap as always Linda!
Um - did anyone notice that the words Linda used to describe Alexis
("Petite, spunky, grounded, adorable") can also be used to describe Linda and why we love HER?
Posted by: Amy in NM | Wednesday, February 18, 2009 at 09:23 AM
DING DING DING DING DING DING!!!! Gayla wins!
Posted by: Linda S to Gayla | Wednesday, February 18, 2009 at 09:23 AM
Thank you! *blushing and kicking the dirt*
Posted by: Linda S to Amy | Wednesday, February 18, 2009 at 09:24 AM
I agree, Kara doesn't really add much to the show. My favorite so far is Alexis. As for the lineup...it's so predictable. They save the drama queen and the sad story of the guy (I forget his name) who just lost his wife for last...c'mon people! It makes you wish you didn't know anything at all (background-wise) of any of the contestants and base your vote(s) solely on ther performance and voice. They should draw straws as far as lineup...there's too much planning and editing to make this show actually fair to all.
Posted by: Janine | Wednesday, February 18, 2009 at 09:25 AM
That is the funniest recap I think I have ever read! I agree with your take on pretty much everything, except one comparison to a past Idol - brought up in a less than complimentary way. But since you made me laugh out loud so many times, and since this person was so charismatic on the show to still be talked about 4 yrs later, I'll give you a pass! LOL It's All Good!
Posted by: getagrip | Wednesday, February 18, 2009 at 09:35 AM
Brava, Linda (as always)! After the utter disappointment and sheer aggrivation of the audition rounds and Hollywood Week, last night was a home-coming, of sorts.
RICKY BRADDY!!! LOVE HIM!!! He came out of nowhere last night to steal my heart. His performance was the best of the night, I thought, and the exact reason why I watch this show. Still, because of his lack of exposure thus far, he'll most definitely have to rely on a wild card to get into the Top 12. And for the entire duration of his run, he'll have to play catch-up.
Posted by: Marc AKA Slumrville | Wednesday, February 18, 2009 at 09:50 AM
I agree with the general consensus that the three making it through will be Danny, Alexis, and Anoop. Michael might be our blue-collar wild card.
I also totally agree with Susan in Florida that Tatiana had been coached to act sane, polite, and demure, and try to put her infamous drama queen reputation from Hollywood Week behind her if she wanted a chance with the viewers. The judges tried their best to get her to giggle or respond, and she acted like she had a gun to her head. Total wackjob. Not stupid--she'll manipulate her image any way necessary to get the votes--but a total wackjob.
Posted by: Julie G | Wednesday, February 18, 2009 at 09:52 AM
At my house it was two out of two votes for Alexis, Danny and Ricky (we did not see him as bland or unappealing at all) as the top three in some order. I liked Jackie's version of "A Little Less Conversation" but the rest of the girls lost me. Although Tatiana's performance was okay, unless the judges bring her back or stupid web sites get in the mix and influence the outcome, we think (hope?) that she is likely gone. Other than Alexis and possibly Jackie, the consensus in my home was that the guys were overall better than the girls. Problem is, we don't pull the trigger and actually call in our votes.
Posted by: Marsha | Wednesday, February 18, 2009 at 09:53 AM
Danny Downey Jr was one of my favorites during auditions but for some reason he is starting to grate on my nerves now. Still a fantastic singer, but he seems almost smarmy or something..... I hate to say that seeing as he has his sad backstory, but something about him, or maybe I'm jaded and it's just the producers shoving his sad situation down our throats that's irritating me......
I ended up loving Alexis (young Molly Ringwald to me still) the best, girl can sing and she's adorable.
Awesome recap Linda, too too funny!
Posted by: Kelly (KelBel) | Wednesday, February 18, 2009 at 09:53 AM
The highlight of the entire show - Simon calling TAtidrma the fame seeking Drama Queen! I could have used the mardi gras carpet cause I was laughing so hard!
Simon was right on the money with ALL his critiques - as usual.
My predictions Danny (of course! Wisconsin boy & one town away from me!!) Alexis (LOVED HER!!) and The Braddy boy! Anoop will be wild card.
Posted by: Jamie in WI | Wednesday, February 18, 2009 at 09:53 AM
Great recap - I just read and laugh out loud. The comparison of Tatidrama and Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction is spot on. She is one scary chick.
Loved Danny and Alexis. I like Anoop, as well, but am terribly distracted by his eyebrows.
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Posted by: Liz in CT | Wednesday, February 18, 2009 at 09:57 AM
Great recap Linda, I now have my husband hooked on DGMS. Am I the only one who noticed Tatianahaha hogging the camera every time a contestant returned from singing their song, she was getting into almost every shot there for a while. Keep up the good work, cannot wait for the results. Danny all the way,Goodbye Tatianaha..
Posted by: bobbie | Wednesday, February 18, 2009 at 09:58 AM
I always think the song choice issue is one that ends up being the make or break. There are so many artists whose songs shouldn't be attempted but I tend to think if you CAN sing them and do it well then its fine. If Danny had been a girl and done a bad job with Hero they would have said oh no don't ever sing Mariah. I agree the police song was a horrible choice but not because it was the police, just because it was a song that had little range or the ability to showcase one's voice. Had she picked every breath you take for example she may have done better even though thats an even more recognizable song. As far as Natural Woman I always think of Kelly doing that song in season 1 so not only did Anne Marie have to sing on par with Aretha but Kelly too. It's always tricky though picking something that has range, isn't too old sounding but not too associated with one artist either.
Posted by: Ron | Wednesday, February 18, 2009 at 10:01 AM
Danny and Alexis were my favorites from last night - already loved Danny, but who knew Alexis was all that and a bag of chips???
Steven and the girl in the weird bootie shoes and ugly gold tulip dress were AWFUL!!!!!
I liked the second guy (Ricky Braddy), and Anoop did pretty well. I really wanted the Oil Rig Guy to do much better.
The rest were just okay to good. Tatianahahaha actually out-sang quite a few of them - but that weird "regal" pose and "regal" slight nodding of the head when the judges were talking to her weirded me out. She was good, but not good enough. Hopefully the masses won't just vote for her to see what direction her train-wreck is going to take next!!!
Posted by: Theresa from Virginia | Wednesday, February 18, 2009 at 10:37 AM
Okay. I thought Danny Gokey should have picked a Joe Cocker song with that little growl we kept getting every now and then.
Posted by: Monikka | Wednesday, February 18, 2009 at 11:13 AM
Linda: Regarding the song that Alexis Grace chose, I thought the same thing about Ricky Bobby's (Brady's) song - - That was a GREAT song, song by many people from MY generation, including Karen Carpenter, and I thought (i) no tween or teens going to recognize it and (ii) and here's where I part ways with the judges and probably good I'm not one, I thought he butchered it. BLAH-ACK!
Another one I totally disagreed with the judges - I liked Casey Carlson and her rendition of the Police song.
My favorite of the night was Alexis.
Posted by: Katy | Wednesday, February 18, 2009 at 11:37 AM
Everything was going along fine, I was reading the blog and chuckling in all the appropriate places, when all of a sudden... "I swear, you just know the other contestants avoid her like some oozy cold sore."
...and I spewed thru my nose and ruined another perfectly good keyboard.
Posted by: ChickyChick (Kathy) | Wednesday, February 18, 2009 at 11:38 AM
Tatihaha's blank stare made me wonder if her friends (handlers) told her to dial it down a few notches if she planned on having any chance of making it through. She looked like she was stoned!
Posted by: Candie | Wednesday, February 18, 2009 at 11:54 AM
Jackie Tohn/A Little Less Conversation: WTF? What was that?
RICKY BRADDY/A Song for You: Best of the night. (IMHO)
Alexis Grace/Never Loved a Man: Best girl of the night, by FAR.
Brent Keith/Hick Town: Your live television/30 million people debut, and you pick THAT song??? Whyyyyyyyyyy?
Stevie Wright/You Belong to Me: SONG CHOICE, GIRL. You shoulda sang something like Sara Bareilles/Colbie Callait/Kate Voegele... you know... something GOOD?
Anoop Desai/Angel of Mine: Wow, it's been a long time since I heard that song. Wow that song is boring. Oh Anoop, I expected more from you *sadcakes*
Casey Carlson/Every Little Thing (S)He Does is Magic: NO you did NOT just touch the Police. Gah! Did you hear that crashing? That's the sound of every single tv breaking in Sting's house.
Michael Sarver/I Don't Wanna Be: No Broken TVs in Gavin's house. I kind of dug it. You deserve a wild card.
Anne Marie Boskovitch: Oh good God. That was not good. Sorry. The Evolution of Natural Woman Performances (the ones I am familiar with): Aretha >>>>> Kelly >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Anne Marie.
Stephen Fowler/Rock With You: I'm pissed about this. He shouldn't be up on that stage, at ALL. Whatever happened to "Forget the words, you're gone"? Huh? HUH? JUDGES? That being said, he kind of sucked. That was lackluster and I was bored.
Tatiana Del Toro/Saving All My Love for You: Good in parts != deserving to go on. Get the BSC (Bat!Shit!Crazy!) off of my TV, plzkthx!
Danny Gokey/Hero: He was very good, but he needs to watch how much Inspirational, Up With People! stuff he does, lest he turn into a 28 year old Archuleta and lose me real fast. I would like something upbeat next time please! (Of course there'll be a next time. My grandmother knows he's through, and she's been dead for 4 years)
My top 3: Ricky Braddy, Alexis Grace, and Danny Gokey.
Posted by: janna | Wednesday, February 18, 2009 at 12:04 PM
ChickyChick - have you been on vacation, or have I just missed it when you posted? Haven't seen your comments in a while.
Also, TOTALLY agree with the comments regarding the 4th judge. I used to have to labor through the inane comments from Randy and Paula which caused me to want to slit my wrists, now I have ONE more...EEESSHH!!
Posted by: Katy | Wednesday, February 18, 2009 at 12:10 PM
Thank you, Linda, thank you! I have this annoying habit of remembering stuff like that! Great recap by the way!!
If she makes it thru, Id like to hear Alexis sing some Dusty Springfield!
Posted by: Gayle in Iowa | Wednesday, February 18, 2009 at 12:11 PM
Loved the recap, Linda! What a great way to start my morning. I was surprised at how many Idols fell apart last night. Stevie, Stephen Fowler--I had hoped for more. Like Simon, I'm not sold on Danny yet. Great voice and he's cute, but...the song last night, "Hero"??? Yuck. He's got a little gravel in that voice and should use it. I voted for Anoop.
Posted by: Kathy in FL | Wednesday, February 18, 2009 at 12:47 PM
Great recap, Linda! Right off the bat, I'm choking on my coffee with -
Paula: Make magic happen in a minute and twenty seconds. (Isn’t that the business model of all Las Vegas hookers?)
My household was voting for Danny, Anoop, and Awesome Alexis. I want Ricky to be the wild card. I'm wondering if the next 24 are as heavily loaded with favorites. There's Lil Rounds to be sure, but most of mine were in this first group of 12. I had liked Jackie, Ann Marie, and Stevie going in but did feel that their performances were disappointing and off last night.
Posted by: Bobbsey | Wednesday, February 18, 2009 at 12:50 PM
First things first........If AI wants to hang onto this season and any future seasons;
#1)Ax Kara,
#2)Put away the rule book on how best to manipulate the numbers game and allow Psycho Tat through.
#3)Make it a one hour show.
#4)Move the families back out to the first row, not on the couch of doom. They have no business back there being interviewed by Ryan. That happened during the auditions.
That being said, I kind of like the "fast track" to the final 12 formula. Imagine being in group #3 though, and having to sit through all of this waiting your turn. Another worthwhile spot for the Mardi Gras carpet. My picks; Alexis, Danny, Anoop (I like typing that too!) Wild card: Ricky
Posted by: Anne | Wednesday, February 18, 2009 at 01:16 PM
Oh my my...another almost waste of an evening...my gawd where did all the voices go...except for 3 people(ok maybe 5 with the oil rig guy and Anoopzacharyquinto)it was just terrible...Tatidrama & Jackitightfitting at least for the most part were in tune most of the time but will be gone tomorrow night with the other 5...the 3(and almost universal choices I have seen so far)are going to be hold your applause Danny Gokey(no duh!!!)Ricky Braddy(my god where did he come from really good vocals needs to relax more though)and Alexis Grace(again duh!!!)well thank god for my comcast dvr to get through tonights recap show and group sing along omg...lets hope that next weeks 12 will be better than this weeks....
Posted by: Peter Castiglione | Wednesday, February 18, 2009 at 02:00 PM
Don't get why everyone dislikes Kara. I'm really enjoying her perspective - and she actually gives constructive criticism. My vote is to KEEP Kara and DITCH Paula (finally, once and for all). Paula absolutely disgusts me - she's a useless piece of garbage on AI.
Posted by: Lori in Texas | Wednesday, February 18, 2009 at 02:57 PM
Tatiana was preparing for the parade route... if only she'd had candy to throw at us minions. She'll get through some how, she's just too much drama to leave dangling in the background.
Thanks Linda for a great start to a new season. I don't always agree with your picks, this time I do. Alexis and Ricky are the real shiners, they impressed without oodles of air time. Danny lives up to his hype.
Posted by: Desdmona | Wednesday, February 18, 2009 at 03:13 PM
My Comments:
1. I like Kara
Its nice to have a normal female Judge on the show.
2. Like everyone else, I LOVE Danny. I agree with you Linda, on Elliot Yamin comparison, and I loved Elliot Yamin.
I think Danny's song choice was horrible. Personally I dont like it when a guy sings a Mariah/Celine/Whitney ballad. Seems weird to me.
For some reason the chicks can pull off singing a well known guy song, but the other way around just seems weird to me.
Danny can pull it off because of his backstory with his wife's passing, he is the more Sensitive Type Guy, but still if I were him, I would be doing cooler songs.
3. Best girl of the night was obviously Alexis. Jackie 2nd best, but Jackie wont get enough votes for Runner Up to stay.
The judges like Jackie though, so I can see a wildcard pick in her for her uniqueness.
4. Having said that, I believe once the Top 9 are picked by America, the Wildcard picks will be chosen based upon filling in the gaps demographically.
Which give advantages to people like Anoop, and even Jackie bc she is different.
There a guy from Puerto Rico (not in last nights group) that I can see them Wildcard'ing for the same demographic reason.
5. Ricky Braddy should win Runner Up tonight but I dont think he will bc no one really knows him.
I was actually even surprised to find so many ppl on here that even commented on him.
6. Simon is right, this new format REALLY stacks the odds against them.
The groups are strategically split so you dont have Danny and Adam competing for the spot, or Jasmine and Alexis.
Posted by: tamaraturkisher@care2.com | Wednesday, February 18, 2009 at 03:40 PM
I'm so dissapointed in Stevie-- she was one of the ones I was rooting for. But Alexis was INCREDIBLE! I know that song and I'm sixteen...however, I am no normal kid.
“what did happen to Bucky Covington?” I swear I said that right before Simon. ah, American Idol.
So, I think Alexis and Danny are shoo ins, with Ann Marie and Ricky as other possibilities. I didn't like Jackie's song that much, even though she has a nice voice, and at least Ann Marie didn't butcher the song.
Posted by: ali | Wednesday, February 18, 2009 at 04:01 PM
My votes went to Danny and Alexis. I still like Anoop and his "catapillbrows" (LOVE that one, Linda!), and Ricky definitely surprised me.
I was disappointed in Jackie, Stevie, and Casey. The girls seem like they gave it away to the boys last night. Anne Marie sounded good, but that song did nothing for me - it's just kind of old-fashioned.
Tatiana sounded better than I would have expected, but she drives me CRAZY so I wouldn't vote for her even if she was the best one there!
Thanks, Linda, for another great recrap!
Posted by: Another Lori in TX | Wednesday, February 18, 2009 at 04:02 PM
Quote from Tatiana's myspace blog:
I was not raised spoiled, In fact my parents were very hard on me and taught me to fetch for myself.
fetch for myself? Sorry.
Posted by: ali | Wednesday, February 18, 2009 at 04:12 PM
As always, Linda, the recap was better than the show itself.
VFTW has a new heroine in Tatihahaha who, according to her, never laughed like that before in her whole life. She will of course get through because they need a whackjob til #11 is eliminated in the Top 12. No one will agree to tour with that freak.
I like Alexis, Michael Sarver, Danny, Anoop and Braddy. The rest can pretty much go home. Good try, kids. Find another career. Jackie blew it.
There are 2 rules to follow:
Song Choice
And don't dress badly.
Tuck in those shirts. Don't wear anything that looks like it came out of your mother's teenage closet or a blender. Try pants that are not JEANS. Look like somebody. Have some respect for yourself and the audience. (The Judges might want to pay attention to this too). Sometimes the way they dress distracts from their singing and in Paula's case, credibility. And if you have a sleeve of tats -- cover them up. Not for nothing but I could not tell you what Carly Smithson sounded like last year. All I saw or heard were those nasty tats.
But more than anything, pick a song that will not make us say "You're no Michael,Whitney, etc."
Posted by: Nikki | Wednesday, February 18, 2009 at 04:30 PM
TATIANA ROCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE GREATEST PERFORMER OF ALL TIME!!!!!!!!! THE NEXT "BIG THING" HAS ARRIVED!!!!!!!!!!
Careful, Linda, we might put a curse on you if you're not more CAREFUL! Consider yourself warned.
Posted by: Telligirl | Wednesday, February 18, 2009 at 05:37 PM
Omg, her fans are as crazy as her. ("Telligirl")
Posted by: Shannon | Wednesday, February 18, 2009 at 05:41 PM
Go play somewhere else, besides, it's tapioca time in the asylum. Go grab yourself a big steamy bowl.
Posted by: Linda S to Telligirl | Wednesday, February 18, 2009 at 05:49 PM
You all do know I'm joking, I hope. Hell-O?
Posted by: Telligirl | Wednesday, February 18, 2009 at 05:50 PM
You do know I'm one of the bigger smart asses around, don't you? :O) If not, stick around. You might like it.
Posted by: Linda S to Telligirl | Wednesday, February 18, 2009 at 05:53 PM
I can sum up last night in one word:
DRUNKEOKE.
I've seen better nights down at the local Waffle House where all the drunks are singing along to the jukebox. ::Sigh::
Why did Tahahatidrama have to be so good last night?
Posted by: Leigh | Wednesday, February 18, 2009 at 06:58 PM