Welcome back, Idol faithful! And welcome aboard to all those new to Idolmania!
Hard to believe another year has gone by since we met up to revel in the good (the Davids), the bad (Kristi Lee Cook), the fugly (anything Paula wears), and to get drunk on the enormous powers which lie in our dialing fingertips.
What will Season 8 have in store?
Will we ride on waves of emotion and hair product with a contestant of Sanjaya proportions?
Will there emerge a scruffy duckling destined to sing glorious swan songs like Clay Aiken?
Will a country mouse hit the bright lights and big city of Nashville a la Carrie Underwood?
Will the Website Which Shall Be Nameless relentlessly force us to endure an undercooked chicken – Kevin Covais.
And will anyone be able to "make it their own" week after week after week, recycling tired old standards from every genre into true works of art – like our reigning champ, David Cook? (Cougars beware – rumor has it he and Kimberly Caldwell’s journey has come to an end and they have gone their separate ways. Woo hoo!)
Ahhhh, therein lies the beauty of this show. We simply don’t know. Yet.
Over the summer American Idol visited Phoenix, Kansas City, Jacksonville, Louisville, East Rutherford, Salt Lake City, San Francisco, and even San Juan, Puerto Rico to ferret out the best of the best, and yes, the rest of the rest.
Admit it, it wouldn’t be an audition phase without snorting Coca Cola (have to get in a product placement in) through our noses at some hapless William Hung or Renaldo Lapuz (I am your brother, your best friend foreeevvver – sing with me! ) or – God Help Us all – Rhonetta Johnson and her predilection for tin foil skirts and no underwear. Someone pass me the bubbly water, I’m feelin’ faint...
Several changes are in store – all for the better, in my humble (and soon to be sleep deprived opinion)...
The results shows have been promised to be pared back down to 30 minutes. And while that doesn’t automatically get rid of THE GROUP SONG or the Ford Vommercials, it does mean my last nerve won’t be getting grated until at least April.
Idol TAKES Back Idol Gives Back, at least for 2009. Good. I am all for giving to charity and helping those in need, but a two hour guilt-fest isn’t needed considering the state of our economy.
A new judge! While the PR machine has gone into overdrive to convince us all that Paula and song writing phenom Kara DioGuardi are BFFs (They were once roommates! They are buds! Girl power!), it should make for an interesting season to see Paula have to share the love and the lip gloss with another female. I don’t get the felling that she "plays well with others" in this regard.
But back to what makes Idol Must See TV – the contestants.
Somewhere, out there, beneath the purple lights, someone’s singing badly, and doing it tonight...
Or maybe not. Perhaps our 2009 Idol will be found in the Arizona heat. We know that a Phoenix rises from the ashes, but will a star rise from the masses in Phoenix? Let’s find out!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Season 8 opened with the profound quote from David Foster, "In life, the microphone passes your lips but once...you had better be ready to sing."
Sorry David, but in the case of American Idol? You’d better be able to sing is more like it. Case in point, the montage which followed, beginning with Simon addressing a ballroom full of hopefuls in Season 1, when no one had any idea what a juggernaut and starmaker this show would prove to be. But with the stunning find of Kelly Clarkson, this show was off to the races and is still winning every ratings derby out there.
I enjoyed the little trip down memory lane set to What A Wonderful World, especially as so many wonderful contestants (Cook, Daughtry, McPhee, Yamin, Hicks, Fantasia, Clay) were interspersed with a trek down the sidestreet of What A Horrible Whirl Of Bad Moments – Crying Girl, Sanjaya’s faux hawk, Bush Baby, The Brittenum Felons, er, I mean twins, Clay Aiken giving his biggest fan a stroke (minds out of the gutter, please - I meant that in the clinical sense of the word) on national TV...
It summed up exactly why we tune in each season – the highs are so very high, and the lows are so very, well, hilowrious.
We then cut to Ryan Seacrest standing on the edge of the Grand Canyon saying ... wait for it ... savor it ... "THIS. IS. AMERICAN. IDOL."
And from the chair next to mine, my 12 year old daughter saying, "Fall off. Fall off. Fall off."
With a new season, finally comes new graphics. No more shall we enter the virtual suppository and emerge through the neon colon. Rather we are just treated to several shadowy generic "contestants" who look like someone slipped them some Rohypnol as they gaze out into the cyberstadium waiting to be effed in the A by the fickle voting public.
A brief look back at the fate of the two Davids at last season’s finale revealed what we all knew deep in our hearts: our tweens are seriously messed up.
With footage from the Britvich home in Pennsyvania, of that final moment when David Cook took the crown, you would have thought Hannah Montana had been canceled and The Cheetah Girls announced they were breaking up. The screaming, rending of garments, tears, angst... not since Elvis was shipped off to Germany has the world seen such a hormonal torrent.
We can only hope for that much emotional investment again this season.
Ryan kicked off "the biggest season ever" in the 106 degree heat of Phoenix, Arizona. With roughly 10,000 people sweating in uniSUN, spirits were high as they all claimed with Palinesque delusions of grandeur, "I’m the next American Idol!"
Kara DioGuardi, the new judge and Kat McPhee’s older sister (ok, ok, they’re not related, but could be), was given her due via an intro that highlighted her songwriting prowess – she has written and/or collaborated on songs on 45 Top 10 albums – and we were underway...
First into the audition room, human Chia Pet, Tuan Nguyen. Seriously, I have not seen a fro that big since the movie Car Wash back in the 70’s.
Determined to win over the judges with his Michael Jackson as a Drill Team Leader in Tap Shoes impersonation, Tuan sang The Way You Make Me Feel. Unfortunately, the way he made the judges feel was ill, leaving him to whine, "I don’t know what they’re looking for, honestly, but it’s not me."
Tuan, have you ever watched the show? Wait, sorry, unfair question. We let Sanjaya Malakar hang around long past his expiration date. Hell, he was practically curdled by the time we voted him off. He made anything possible.
Emily Wynne-Hughes, with hair the color of a cotton candy pumpkin, arms tatted in every color of the Crayola rainbow (the 64 count box with sharpener on the back), and piercings galore was up next. Emily is the lead singer for a girl rock band – a band with a scheduled European tour – but no matter, the chance to reach for that brass ring / golden ticket only comes once a year.
Singing Heart’s Barracuda, I was, quite frankly, stunned. That is a throatful of a song to attempt, with some Freddy Kruger calibre-scary notes along the way, and she hit them all. Add to that her winning personality and those bandmates of hers just may have to say Au Revoir to that tour. She’s off to Hollywood for now.
Randy "I-Worship-At-The-Alter-Of-Tommy-Lee-And-Shop-At-The-Same-Store-As-Bret-Michaels" Madden cruised in next. Randy is a character out of Office Space. Trapped in a corporate cubicle, he fancies himself much cooler than he ever will be. But just like that little dude had his red stapler, Randy has his dream, too. He’s a rocker, dammit. A teary, soul-patch-quivering-like-Jello-on-a-fork, rocker.
Singing Livin’ On A Prayer, I did find myself moved enough to utter, "Oh my God." More tears fell, with the ultimate blow to his rocker dreams being Simon calling him a "Drama queen."
A real rocker would have hopped the table and beaten the shite out of Mr. Cowell, copping a feel off Paula in the process.
Young JB Ahflua was next. His audition showed us that he can sing, is going to Hollywood, cares about his family, and that’s it. I guess he was too normal for extended footage.
As opposed to Michael Gurr who sucked the paint off my walls, yet merited four minutes of pity. "I’m really scared." "I’m not feeling well." "I’m nervous." They played him up so much I thought for sure he was going to turn out to be one of those unlikely musical heroes a la Clay Aiken.
Punk’d! Where’s Ashton?
Michael opened his mouth to sing Starts With Goodbye and suddenly he was channeling Granny from the Beverly Hillbillies – Granny having a difficult bowel movement in the outhouse, that is. He then tried a second song and evidently the BM was even bigger...and coming out sideways.
Poor Granny, er, Michael. Methinks he needs some Metamusical. As it was, he settled for sitting on the floor and eating a banana surrounded by family.
More BMs (bad music) followed – Will Kunick butchering Tears For Fears – seriously, he was practically wearing an apron and asking how thin we wanted the slices; Celine Dion now walks funny thanks to DJ Bradley reaming her out; and Dionne Warwick has this message for Shawn Vasquez after seeing that audition, "That’s not what friends are for."
Was it time for someone good? Someone to redeem Phoenix and massage our eardrums?
Um. No.
Next in was Audre "X-ray" Caraway, declaring, "Music is what I do!" He chose to sing a song he had written called Cactus Baby. He began to let loose with the lyrics and something amazing happened! He turned into spaghetti. I’m not kidding. As he sang, his entire body turned into a bowl of overcooked pasta. Loopy, limp, a little slimy...
He finished with the only word I believe can truly do justice to his performance, "Swingadelladoo!"
Can I get breadsticks with that?
Sixteen year old Arianna Afsar had her turn – and if you’re like me, you’re always leery of the teenagers, especially the girls. They tend to be either so sweet they cause aural cavities, or so over-the-top they make you want to smack their parents. She was neither.
Sure, she founded a group called Adopt-A-Grandfriend (teens who perform at nursing homes), and is as adorable as a new kitten, but she is also articulate, polite, grounded – and not in a you-can’t go-to-the-Jonas-Brothers-concert way..
Oh yeah, she can sing, too. Her performance of Put Your Records On was smooth, strong, and not whiny as so many teens tend to be.
Pause: It was at this point that I noticed Paula’s latest attempt to convince us she is smart. Enter pair of glasses #1. Dark, rectangular, something Dwight Schrute might get wood over.
Moving on to Day 2...
Dawn breaks with the Ghosts of Bad Notes Past, the highlight of which, for me, was reliving climbing "the frosty mountain" a few seasons back.
This all led up to, or down to, as the vocal range may be, the introduction of Low Rida. OK, ok, his name was Elijah Scarlett and he had the most uncomfortable sounding voice I have ever heard – and that includes frosty mountain boy.
Shawty, it was low, low, low, low.
He sang My First, My Last, My Everything and I was left pondering one question, "What is the opposite of sucking helium?" Sucking tar?
Next up, Pretty Hyper In Pink, 16 year old Lea Marie Golde. According to Lea, she is Kara’s biggest fan, has written over 100 songs (which she brought for Kara to see), and she is a cross between Hillary Duff and Madonna.
Mad Duff?
After hearing her sing and taking in her overly caffeinated personality, I do believe that moniker is correct, because my ass was angry at the pain she was causing in it. It’s not that she was terrible, she wasn’t, but as opposed to Paris Bennett, who went from Smurfette to Throaty Diva when she sang, Lea just remained in the land of the little Blue People.
Don’t worry though. At only 16, with that much conviction? She’ll be baaaaaack.
Another 16 year old merited less face time, but redeemed the MySpace generation nonetheless. Stevie Wright sang At Last, and you could see the judges respond in kind. At Last someone who was controlled, strong, not overbearing, or dressed like a bottle of Pepto Bismal. Just a nice girl, with a big voice, and an even bigger smile. I’m predicting Top 12.
Living up to their pledge to highlight more of the good this season, in walked Michael "Brick Sh*thouse" Sarver. Come on, the guy was as big as the oil rig on which he works. Yes, Michael is a roughneck on an oil rig – the fifth most dangerous job in the world, a man’s man, as it were. (And it does take a real man to audition in a shirt with nipple doilies appliqued to the front) But he’s also a husband, father of two little kids, and has an amazing voice.
Singing Thank You, I wrote one word, "WOW." Looking forward to hearing some more in Hollywood.
Next to be highlighted was Audrina Partridge from The Hills. Actually it was Bikini Girl and Partridge lookalike, Katrina Darrell, flaunting the hills. Forget dressing like the Statue of Liberty, a cow, or a leprechaun. If you really want to get in front of Simon Cowell, follow the less is more philosophy and wear as little as possible.
In she walked and Simon looked like Jim Carrey’s character from The Mask – his eyes literally popped out of his head and onto the table.
She launched into Vision of Love, which contained more runs than a cruise ship full of Norwalk virus, and while I don’t think there’s a spot for her on the Idol Tour next summer (I’m thinking a stint on the next season of Bad Girls Club), through she went to Hollywood, despite royally pissing off both Kara and Paula by insulting Kara’a singing.
Ahhhh, the power of a pair of boobs. She made her exit and tracked down Ryan to make good on her promise to "make out when I get my golden ticket."
Sex sells, so we got another gooey serving via Eric "Sexual Chocolate" Thomas. He sang Ribbon In The Sky and even Stevie Wonder could see how bad he was.
Moving on... Brianna Quijada – a human koala bear, yes, the girl was that sweet and cuddly – sang Let’s Hear It For The Boy. The judges were fairly unimpressed so she started in on Killing Me Softly. I did not think she murdered it, softly or otherwise, but her second song killed her chances with Simon. He gave her a No, but some well placed groveling got her a ticket to Hollywood anyway.
Oh well, you gotta have some chaff in order for the wheat to stand out, right?
Deanna Brown was an unlikely contender. All alone, no entourage of sweaty friends and relatives, dressed simply in a shirt and pants, no tattoos or heavy make-up. But what she did have was marketable – a soulful, unique voice on Sitting’ On The Dock Of The Bay, and a sweet personality. Four yeses and she’s on her way.
Cody Shelton is another teen, 17, and his passion is making horror movies with his camcorder. Oh well, everyone should have a hobby, right? "Hey Mom, stand still while I pretend to hack you to pieces with this rubber machete. That’s good, now I’m going to pour ketchup in your hair....that’s great! You really look scared!"
Cody has the odd personality and full head of hair of last season’s Danny Noriega, but as opposed to Danny, Cody can REALLY sing. I predict he will kill the competition in Hollywood.
Another montage of filler - this time of Simon asking contestants – all Miss South Carolina wannabes – "What 3 countries in the world will you be popular in?" Due to us not having maps and all, the answers were predictable, Paris, New York, London...
Channeling the quiet awkwardness of Elliott Yamin and the unlikely pop star prowess of Clay Aiken, Alex Wagner-Trogman regaled us with a tale of being a closet singer – as in sang in his closet – which turned out to be a bad idea, as his closet was full of mold.
Leave it to Simon to hit on that when he walked in, "So you just came out of the closet?" Classy. Classier still was Randy trying to beat the homophobe joke into the ground.
Paula, the scholar in yet another pair of glasses, looked disgusted.
Alex then sang Baby, Come To Me, and all the cheap jokes stopped. He can sing. Really well. Some hair magic, some trips with a stylist to the nearest Abercrombie & Fitch, and who knows just what is Aiken to come out into the spotlight?
The final filler of the evening was an eardrum assaulting montage of the worst of the worst singing Dead or Alive, ending with an escapee from Ye Olde Arizona Renaissance Festival. I swear he was singing into a turkey leg...
Saving the truly heartwarming and best for last, Scott McIntyre closed tonight’s show. Scott is, for all intents, blind. He has a range of vision he equates with "looking through a straw."
No matter. It hasn’t stopped him from being a classically trained pianist, a ballroom dancer, skier, and a college graduate at the age of 19. Oh yeah – he’s adorable, too.
Singing And So It Goes, I immediately had a favorite for this competition. Not out of sympathy, but out of admiration for his talent, his love for life, and his shaggy blonde hair. Four yeses, and so he goes to Hollywood, but not without a high-five from Ryan. (What a dillweed. Try to high five the blind guy. I swear he'd have asked Roy Orbison, "Hey dude - did you see that Pretty Woman in the bikini!")
So, one city down, seven more to go. Up next, Kansas City, home of some of the best bar-b-que in the world, but will anyone’s talent be worth savoring?
What’s your take so far? Do you have a fast favorite? What do you think of Kara behind the judge’s table? Did you notice Randy never once called anyone ‘dawg’? (Must be a 12 Step Program.) And do you think Paula’s glasses make her look professorial or pathetic? Chime in!
I thought of Clay Aiken as well when Alex Wagner-Trogman was on.
Bikini Girl only got through because Simon & Randy's blood was rushing away from their ears.
I could have sworn I heard Randy say "dawg" at least once.
I wasn't that impressed with Scott McIntyre; for all the hype, I thought he was going to be amazing, but for me he was just okay.
Posted by: Alexandra | Wednesday, January 14, 2009 at 12:23 AM
As anyone who was in the chatroom no doubt knows, I thought both the new judge and the pink haired rocker chick were hot, and that the latter can sing her ass off.
Posted by: Carrie / Quik | Wednesday, January 14, 2009 at 12:52 AM
Love the recrap - and the pic of Kimberly - she looks a lot better than I remember!!
I like the addition of the new judge. I think she is a good balance to Paula's goofiness. And no, the glasses didn't fool me! Personally, I hated bikini girl. She made me throw up a little.
Posted by: Liz in CT | Wednesday, January 14, 2009 at 06:40 AM
My favorite moment? Ryan trying to high-five a blind guy. Oops!
Posted by: Chrissy | Wednesday, January 14, 2009 at 07:00 AM
Linda, I am surprised you didn't comment about Ryan offering Scott an awkward "high-five" after his audition.
My favorite so far....Arianna (the 16 yr old "Adopt-a-Grandparent" girl).
I have been WAITING for this recap - thanks....DGMS is the BEST!!
Posted by: Stacey | Wednesday, January 14, 2009 at 07:12 AM
Don't worry - I've been tweaking since I woke up. It was in my notes, but by midnight, some things get missed when I'm ytping with my eyes held open by toothpicks! :O)
Glad you enjoyed the recap!
Posted by: Linda S to Stacey | Wednesday, January 14, 2009 at 07:14 AM
I commented last night as well about how much Kara DioGuardi looked like Kat McPhee and also the resemblance between Cody Shelton and Kanny Noriega. I think my favorite right now is Deanna Brown. She had a very unique voice that stood out for me. I liked seeing more of the good singers and less of the bad.
Did anyone else's children grab straws and try to see what the world looked like to Scott McIntyre?
Posted by: Rhonda in NC | Wednesday, January 14, 2009 at 07:14 AM
Hated bikini girl, loved Arianna and blind Scott. The tattoo chick will add a lot of "color" to the competition. Not my style, but she definitely has a set of pipes to work with. Anxious to see what comes out of some of the other cities. Not much black talent in Phoenix. Maybe we'll see some talented soul singers in Kansas City. Puerto Rico ought to be very interesting, too!
You read my thoughts about Kara looking like Kat McPhee's older sister! I like her, but am afraid she'll try to pull the diva thing again like she did with bikini girl. She's acting like she's got something to prove. She's got a lovely voice, no doubt, but needs to sit down and let her credentials speak for themselves. I thought she came across as immature and lacking self-control in that episode.
Posted by: Julie G | Wednesday, January 14, 2009 at 07:17 AM
Yeah, AI's back and so are Linda's GREAT recraps!!
Am I the only one who wasn't sure if Cody was a girl or a boy when they first showed him? Maybe a little TOO pretty!
I liked Kara. A more critical female perspective could be a very good thing. Simon still gets the deciding vote, though, so we'll see how it goes.
Posted by: Another Lori in TX | Wednesday, January 14, 2009 at 07:20 AM
Love the new judge!!!! I was afraid that Kara would be another soppy, useless mushmess like Paula, but she's really not at all. Color me impressed... so far.
And, IMHO, the *only* reason Randy & Simon let Bikini Girl through was to screw around with Kara & Paula. All of them know she doesn't stand a snowball's chance in hell of making it past the next round, and, to be honest, she's gonna get the crap stomped out of her, vocally, in Hollywood.
If this asinine bimbo wants publicity so badly that she'll show up mostly nekkid on prime-time TV, then she deserves to be rewarded royally with heaps of humiliation.
Posted by: Lori in Texas | Wednesday, January 14, 2009 at 07:21 AM
I hadn’t realized how much I missed AI until the music started. Then I settled down to two hours of critiquing.
Format: I like the new judge Kara DioGuardo. She’s smart, witty, and fits in well. I think the producers put Paula on notice to shape up or ship out, as she was actually LUCID! Maybe she went on a 12 Step program.
Pink Hair Girl: Very nice but I’m not sure she should have cancelled the European tour. I don’t see her making the Final 12.
Stevie Wright: Wow! What a great song choice and fantastic vocals. We will definitely see a lot more of her.
Mike Sarver: I wasn’t that impressed. Big guy, adequate voice, but where’s the power?
Bikini Girl: She’s in marketing. She has a smoking hot body and a mediocre voice. How then to get to Hollywood? Hmmmm. She won’t last if she has to sing with clothes on. After she gets booted, maybe she and Haley Scarnato can star in a Girls Gone Wild video. And kissing Ryan Seacrest?!? Creepy.
Deanna Brown: Very nice vocals. She will definitely be around for a while..
Cody: A little teen heart throb with a personality (sorry David A.) and a surprising voice. He needs a makeover to get votes besides the tweeners, but he does have potential.
Scott McIntyre: I was bit disappointed after the huge build up. I expected a bigger voice. However, he’s a shoo in for the Final 12.
Kansas City here we come!
Posted by: Tom L | Wednesday, January 14, 2009 at 07:40 AM
Thank God for the DVR! How did I ever sit through the bad auditions without being able to fast-forward? Although I did pause for some of the snarkier comments by Simon. I agree that they put through bikini girl to piss off the other judges. Haven't seen anyone yet to catch my vote, but the season is young.
Posted by: Irish M | Wednesday, January 14, 2009 at 07:41 AM
I almost choked when Ryan tried to high-five a blind man. What a dope!
And Michael Gurr reminded me a little too much of the "bush baby" for my comfort. I REALLY wish they'd stop putting those pathetically bad, deluded people up for auditions. I don't mind seeing marginal singers (like the pink cowgirl/songwriter) but the others make me cringe - and reach for a magazine to distract me until they're off screen.
And bikini girl made me want to puke. I think she only got through so she can be used as cannon fodder during Hollywood week.
Thanks for the recap! It was great as always.
Posted by: Ginger | Wednesday, January 14, 2009 at 07:52 AM
Thanks Linda - great recrap (as usual), learned to set my beverage down prior to reading, so I was ready! I loved Tatoo Girl, Stevie and Blind Guy - they are my top three so far. Now go back to bed and get ready for tonight!
Posted by: ChickyChick (Kathy) | Wednesday, January 14, 2009 at 07:55 AM
I'm not sure I like the new 4-judge format. Nothing against Kara herself - I like that she can actually sing too - that gives her a little more credibility to me. But with 4 of them up there yammering, there was a little too much going on. Too many side conversations, too much noise. With Paula and Kara ganging up against Simon from time to time, they were all just talking all over each other.
Interesting that when Simon asks for comments, he usually starts at the far end with Randy. Then Kara, who has had some decent input. But then by the time they get to Paula, all that's left for her to contribute is "I have to pass" without repeating what Kara said. Paula is getting upstaged here.
Re: Stevie Wright - ever notice that the singers who announce they are going to sing something classical or jazz from an old-time great can usually really sing?
And while Scott McIntyre's story was interesting, I don't think his voice was that awesome. I was expecting something more Josh-Groban-esque. Like Rhonda, I was trying to picture what it would be like to see a straws-width, although I didn't go get them. Call me nasty, but I thought that after all the struggles to overcome/hasn't let a handicap hold him back/success story, to walk out with the cane and the assistant was done to specifically draw attention to the fact that he was blind and set up the story a little more. He can see a little - he said about a piano-key width. Enough to perhaps navigate 30 feet straight into a room by himself, but if not, why did he need both the cane and the handler?
Posted by: Kerry | Wednesday, January 14, 2009 at 08:24 AM
Linda: "Granny having a difficult bowel movement in the outhouse, that is" - OK, that was about THE funniest comment I've read so far - - I busted out laughing in my office and had three people ask me what was so funny!! Hysterical!!
Lori in Tx - thought you weren't going to watch? :-D I "ditto" everything you said, loved the new judge, HATED bikini girl. I agree with Paula, "she was terrible." And I thought as I watched what I did of the show, (just had to turn the channel sometimes), that I would be joining you Lori and NOT watching until we got to the final 25. I was SO aggrevated with them allowing bikini girl to continue, when it was clear she had LESS talent than the ones they had turned down earlier. GRRRRR!!!
Posted by: Katy | Wednesday, January 14, 2009 at 08:34 AM
I didn't realize how much I missed Idol until it started last night. I have been waiting since last year for your recraps to start up Linda and you never disappoint. The only one who really drove me over the edge was Bikini Girl. Not so much because she had a better body than me (which she definitely does) but because she wasn't that horrible. She might have actually gotten through with clothes on but she went the sex route to make sure. What a ditz. And her kiss with Ryan was like soft-core porn. She was all into it like eyes closed and mouth open, just creepy. When Ryan tried to high five the blind guy, I almost died. I looked at my husband and we both just started cracking up without saying a word. What a dork!!!
Posted by: Kelly in PA | Wednesday, January 14, 2009 at 08:42 AM
It's so exciting to be starting a new season!!!! My husband just groaned and went to work out. I loved pink hair girl, but I always go for the rockers first. I think Kara is trying too hard, that was a little obnoxious, I hope she settles in soon. Overall good though. And Ryan, we love to hate him but the show wouldn't be the same without him!
Posted by: Kari in WI | Wednesday, January 14, 2009 at 08:53 AM
I think Kara's going to be a good addition to the judging panel. I loved her low-key snarky "Next time just come naked" comment as Bikini Girl left the room.
I thought the whole show was actually not too bad; I'm glad they seemed to have cut down on the number of crazies and weirdos. Let's hope the rest of the auditions go like this.
Posted by: Chrissy | Wednesday, January 14, 2009 at 09:12 AM
Metamusical? Effin hilarious, Linda! As usual, recaps were great! Thanks again for all you do...My standout of the night was Deanna Brown. Really unusual voice and seemed very down to earth. When she first spoke I thought, oh hell, another Kelly Pickler wanna be but the accent was not as strong as I had originally feared. Can't wait for tonight!
Posted by: Lisa | Wednesday, January 14, 2009 at 09:19 AM
Katy -
I never said I wasn't going to watch. What I said was that I don't get interested in AI until the Hollywood rounds. I said I do watch *some* of the audition shows (and I didn't watch all of both hours last night), but I really and truly HATE the crap singers and "joke" auditions. So, yes, I do watch the audition process to some degree, but it doesn't really interest me as much as the regular season shows do.
Posted by: Lori in Texas | Wednesday, January 14, 2009 at 09:28 AM
I have to admit that I lucked out last night! I had a meeting at 6:30, which amazingly ended at 6:50 and I got a ride home, so I got home with 30 seconds to spare for American Idol glory.
Michael. Wow. I laughed so hard at his, um, "singing" that I almost choked on my dinner! I thought I was safe until the Dead or Alive montage when I almost spit out my pineapple juice from laughing so hard.
I absolutely loooooved Scott! His voice was so sweet and captivating. My grandma and I wondered if he could do some of the genres when he makes it to the next rounds, but I think he can. He seems like such a sweetheart!
Hated bikini girl. Total brat imho. Loved Kara. I wasn't too sure how she would be as a new judge, but I liked her a lot.
Afro guy reminded me of one of my students when I was a TA, but it wasn't him. Looked just like him though, afro and all.
I thought pink cowgirl would be really good on a Disney channel show/movie since she's bubbly, cute, and can sing decently. I would actually prefer her to "Hannah Montana." Can the Disney execs please read this and change it up? ;)
All in all, I'm not disappointed this season and I can't wait for tonight!
PS your recap is awesome. It drew me into your blog last season and I love it even more this season!
Posted by: Jen | Wednesday, January 14, 2009 at 09:33 AM
Gesus Linda, you did such a good job of pasting your face next to David Cook that I didn't even notice till about the third time I check the site!!!
Posted by: Katy | Wednesday, January 14, 2009 at 09:36 AM
Ok, I guess I'm in the minority here about Bikini Girl. 1. Not only did I NOT think she was horrible, I thought she did pretty well compared to some of the other mess we heard that nite (and no, I'm not a man, I'm a woman too) and 2. I thought that Karla came across as very catty and insecure in trying to outsing her. Um Kara, you are a judge, not a contestant. You are supposed to JUDGE the contestants, not compete with them. Yeah Kara has the better voice than BG (Bikini Girl) but to me she came across like she was trying to prove something--as if she felt upstaged by BG and had to show her up. I really doubt Kara would have done all that had BG came in fully dressed. I for one, think BG sang pretty well, I dont think she was horrible and regardless of what Paula said, she must've thought she was good enough to go on because it was her vote that sent BG to the Hollywood round. And as for BG's comment "Your rendition wasnt that much better" to Kara, well, she was dishing back out the snarkiness that was served to her IMO.
Posted by: Carla in MI | Wednesday, January 14, 2009 at 09:54 AM
Oh yeah, Great recap as always Linda! :-)
Posted by: Carla in MI | Wednesday, January 14, 2009 at 09:56 AM
I'm really happy with the changes so far- less horrible, painful, attention-grabbing auditions, with more real talented singers. I'm looking forward to this season, though every year I wonder who could top my love for Chris Daughtry and now David Cook! I'm terrified for another Sanjaya or Scott Savol (from years ago..)
Love your recaps!!
Posted by: Meredith | Wednesday, January 14, 2009 at 10:58 AM
When Ryan tried to High Five the blind guy I thought I was going to choke I was laughing so hard. Can you say DUH.
Posted by: Tracy | Wednesday, January 14, 2009 at 11:12 AM
Carla, just a matter of opinion, but regarding Kara redoing it? I thought she was BETTER than bikini girl, which means, BG'ss got no business being a contestant - when the judge can out-sing you. BG, as Linda pointed out, had "more runs than cruise ship full of Norwalk virus." She was just God-aweful, IMHO. :-)
Posted by: Katy to Carla | Wednesday, January 14, 2009 at 11:33 AM
Linda,
Its actually a common misconception that Roy Orbison was blind. He wore those trademark sunglasses but wasn't blind. I always thought he was too then someone told me a few years ago he wasn't so I looked it up and sure enough he wasn't!
Posted by: Ron | Wednesday, January 14, 2009 at 11:36 AM
WOW! So glad to see the snark back in full frontal smart-ass-razored-SHARP mode!
I'm rooting for blind guy, and cheering for tat girl.
But what I really want to see is the Jacksonville auditions.
This is going to be a great season!!!
Posted by: Leigh | Wednesday, January 14, 2009 at 11:37 AM
"Enter pair of glasses #1. Dark, rectangular, something Dwight Schrute might get wood over"
Love it! Glad you're back!
Posted by: Valerie | Wednesday, January 14, 2009 at 11:50 AM
Great recap Linda! I missed AI last night and don't have a DVR so... whew! But speaking of... does anyone know of any websites where you can watch full episodes after they've been on tv? I looked at Fox's website but my work network restricted the page. :(
Posted by: Alison in Pittsburgh | Wednesday, January 14, 2009 at 11:56 AM
P.S. Emily Wynne-Hughes' band is called "Go Betty Go" and in the realm of female "punk" bands, they aren't that bad!
Posted by: Alison in Pittsburgh | Wednesday, January 14, 2009 at 12:03 PM
Leigh: I'm not even sure they'll show Jacksonville! The news said last night that three people made the first cut and only ONE was picked from those three!
Posted by: Katy to Leigh | Wednesday, January 14, 2009 at 12:03 PM
BG was waay out of line. She could sing but her gimmick was lame.
Also, the I kissed a girl song when she stalked Ryan was hilarious. Obviously the irony is that Ryan was supposed to be "the girl" -- my 11 year old dd had to explain that one to the hubby last night to help him understand why it was funny.
I liked Kara and I'm looking forward to more of their commentary. Anyone else think Paula's on her way out?
Posted by: Monikka | Wednesday, January 14, 2009 at 12:46 PM
I thought playing the song "I Kissed A Girl" during the Ryan-Bikini Girl kissing scene was an interesting choice. Here are the lyrics:
I kissed a girl and I liked it
The taste of her cherry chapstick
I kissed a girl just to try it
I hope my boyfriend don't mind it
It felt so wrong
It felt so right
Don't mean I'm in love tonight
I kissed a girl and I liked it
I liked it
Posted by: surph | Wednesday, January 14, 2009 at 01:15 PM
I frankly liked Kara. She will tell it like it is, unlike Paula who doesnt like to be mean and sugarcoats her comments. I agree with a post above, Bikini Girl actually surprised me that she wasnt horrible. Not saying she was good enough for Hollywood, but she really didnt suck that bad. I liked the pink haired tattooed girl, the girl named Stevie, and the long hair young kid who makes horror movies. Blind guy at the end wasnt bad either, but I wasnt blown away. Great recap Linda! Ive been waiting since last May!
Posted by: Gayle in Iowa | Wednesday, January 14, 2009 at 03:17 PM
My two cents regarding Paula and the multiple eye accessories is that she is wearing them to stand out from Kara. There have been many promotional pictures of the four AI judges standing next to each other where I actually had to look a beat longer to determine which was Paula and which was Kara. It's the olive complexion and long brunette hair that does it.
I also loved how everyone knew about the new judge but no one seemed sure as to how to pronounce her name.
I think that Jason Castro's brother shows up in the next city!!
Posted by: Bobbsey | Wednesday, January 14, 2009 at 03:48 PM
I didn't realize how much I missed the show, but after it started I was like a crack addict getting a fix! I enjoyed everything, even the crappy auditions, which I usually hate.
Posted by: Theresa from Virginia | Wednesday, January 14, 2009 at 04:01 PM
I am glad somebody mentioned the "I Kissed A Girl" song playing after BG kissed Ryan - as sick as I get of Simon's insinuating that Ryan is gay (ad nauseum) during recent seasons.....I had to applaud the more oblique snarkiness of the soundtrack - I too thought that was hilarious.
As far as BG went my two middleschool boys ignored the entire rest of the show but made sure that they were front and center while she was on....(they had seen the teasers) My 14 year old (in his annoyingly middle school maleness) now refers to her as "Jojo the dog-faced girl" (referring to the "freak show act at the circus") he was properly drooling over her body but he clearly thought her face was really not pretty at all.
Posted by: Christy | Wednesday, January 14, 2009 at 04:14 PM
Okay - I should not have said he was "properly drooling over her body" just meant that I have to give credit where credit is due and if I looked like that in a bikini, I would be tempted to where it everywhere as well.....
Posted by: Christy | Wednesday, January 14, 2009 at 04:20 PM
Paula was surprisingly lucid last night. Apparently, now that she has Kara as competition, she's been scared straight. I also wonder if it is getting close to contract negotiation time for Paula. Perhaps that is why the producers of AI brought in a 2nd female judge to show Paula that someone else can do her job as good if not better and for probably way less money.
Posted by: Joonie | Wednesday, January 14, 2009 at 05:11 PM
Katy, I think the news meant that only 3 of the people they actively followed made it through to the judges.
Posted by: janna | Wednesday, January 14, 2009 at 05:25 PM
I was really surprised at how good the youngest singers were. I already think it is going to be a hard-fought battle in Hollywood and we still have miles to go!
Posted by: audreyf | Wednesday, January 14, 2009 at 05:38 PM
Speaking of BG, did anyone else notice that her hair looked blonde in some scenes but during the audition scenes, she was clearly a brunette?
Posted by: Monikka | Wednesday, January 14, 2009 at 05:53 PM
Yes I saw that too! In the promos it looked that there was more than one girl. What gives?
Posted by: Bobbsey | Wednesday, January 14, 2009 at 06:16 PM
I was under the impression that they played "I Kissed A Girl" during the bikini girl segment because Ryan doesn't usually do that. LOL!!! The girl can't sing, and will get totally beat down the first week in Hollywood.
Posted by: Toni in Dallas | Thursday, January 22, 2009 at 02:16 PM
swinga-della-doo
wats up
thanx,
i love the pic.
myspace.com/xraycaraway
~xray~
Posted by: www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1482954195 | Friday, November 13, 2009 at 02:23 PM
Welcome back idol faithful and welcome aboard to all those new to idolmania hard to believe another year has gone by sin.. Not so bad :)
Posted by: dontgetmestarted-lindasharp.typepad.com | Thursday, March 31, 2011 at 09:53 PM
Hello!!!!!!!!!!!!! all! I like this forum, i set up innumerable engrossing people on this forum.!!!
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