Emotional Jackpot

As most of you know by now, Rudy resides in Washington state, the girls and I in Texas - a decision made based on an incredible career opportunity and three daughters who are thriving in the town they have called "home" for only two years as of this past Tuesday.

It's not the easiest of lifestyles.  In fact, sometimes it's about as far from 'easy' as you can get.  Don't get me wrong, the girls are great kids.  They are just incredibly busy, diverse kids with schedules that require Schwarzkopf-like logitistical planning on my part.

It's also not easy only seeing Rudy every three weeks or so.  Heavy on the "or so" part of late.  His last visit home in June found him quarantined with pneumonia and no one getting anywhere near him.

We all handle the separation well - it's not our first time to this particular rodeo - after all, Carson won't be twelve till next month and has moved five times.  Each time resulting in some degree of him-there, us-here playing catch up.

But it is hard.  He misses many soccer games, plays, smiles, hugs, licks from Oreo, Nugget who seems to sense Rudy's testosterone and seeks him out as the only other male in the house, and the million other small moments which comprise a family's life.

Sure, we talk every day, many times a day.  We email.  He even reads the blog as religiously as you do to stay connected to my warped brain.  But Rudy and I are touchers.  We always have been.  Without consciousing thinking about it, we seek each other out - holding hands, kissing, touching a back, hugging in the grocery store, my head on his back while he cooks...

I would be lying to say that part doesn't suffer badly while apart.  It does. 

But he throws himself into his job, I throw myself into mine, into taking care of the girls, the cats, the dog, my friends, the soccer teams, etc, trying to make the time between touching go faster.

I suppose I have it a tad easier than Rudy - at least I have the girls, the cats, the dog to lavish with affection and I love yous. 

But it's still not the same...

In the weeks that pass between visits, we allow a part of ourselves to shut down, maybe out of self preservation, I don't know.  I think about it a lot, but I can't adequately define it.  It's just that between visits, we concentrate on being functional.  And it's sometimes hard to break out of the mode when we get together. 

As in love with one another as we are, there is always a warm-up period.  I guess that's just human nature.

I preface the Vegas details with all of that because I know everyone thinks we are some uber-perfect couple / family.  A couple that never struggles or fights.  Kids that never make us lose any sleep.

Well, by comparison to a lot of marriages and families out there, I'd say we come close, but goodness knows, we are not perfect.  Rudy can piss me off better than anyone on this planet - he knows every button to push.  And I know that I can make him contemplate life in a monastery sometimes.

But at the end of the day - even separated by thousands of miles, there is no one I'd rather be with, laugh with, sleep with, touch, and yes, even feel awkward from time to time with...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Landing in Vegas, I was excited.  Sure, because I adore that sinful, decadent city, but also because I knew Rudy was touching down at the very same moment - our flights coordinated to both arrive at 1030am.

By the time I walked to the Baggage Claim tram, he was calling me on my cell.  I smiled.

After finding my bright pink suitcase - yes bright pink, shut up.  It serves one very important purpose:  it stands out in the sea of black luggage being regurgitated up the baggage carousel - I called him to find out where he was - he was at his baggage claim, so I started walking, started looking.

You know, it's funny.  For all intents, I haven't truly seen him for close to two months.  His amorphous snotty blob condition during Pneumoniagate simply does not count.

I spied him at the other end of the carousel and just stood for a moment thinking, "Wow."

I mean, I know what my husband looks like, but still, "Wow", he's mine.  :O)

Coming up behind him, big hugs.  And yes, a little nervous.  Like I said, it's almost like having first date jitters when we have not seen each other for a while. Am I dressed nice?  Did I pop a breath mint?  Will he still like me? We have everything in common, and somehow still have to find our way back to "our spot".

Thankfully it doesn't take long. 

We got to our hotel - the gorgeous, new addition to The Venetian, called The Palazzo.  Starving, we decided to check our bags with the bellman, grab some lunch, and check into our room later - after all, it was still morning with 1,000 people trying to check out.

Some Italian food, some wine, no kids...not a bad recipe for getting our bearings with one another again - and then we wandered through the casino where Rudy, who picks slot machine based on their names, decided to play Lucky Shamrocks for my Irish father.

He won 400 quarters.  Talk about luck o' the Irish.

Oh, he almost got really lucky, ifyouknowhatImean.

I had left him for a moment while he was playing a machine - just wandered off to see what was a few rows over - and was coming back down the main walkway, when what to my wondering eyes should appear, but a highly toasted man wanting to check out Rudy's gear.

Seriously, from my distance I could not quite figure out what was happening.  The guy was prancing around Rudy, touching his machine, jumping up and down, leaning over him, reaching out to touch Rudy.  For a second, I thought he had hit it big and this guy was congratulating him.

As I got closer, the truth was that the guy was looking for a much bigger jackpot.  He wanted a piece of my husband's fine ass.  He started touching Rudy's leg, and Rudy, being the gentleman that he is, was trying to nicely humor the obviously sky-high guy and get him to back off.

It wasn't working.

So in swooped Super Bitch.  I put my arms around him from behind, kissed him on the cheek.

The guy, who was so toasted, he all but had butter and jam, finally picked up on my body wrapped around Rudy's and began to back off.  Yes, dude, big "my bad".  Rudy stood up, we wished the man farewell, and I covered Rudy's rear flank as we walked away - after all, the guy was still prancing.

I personally think his getting felt up by a gay guy trumps my casino story of being admired by the drunk Italian last year, "I love your eyes, your legs, your teets..."

Moving on...Rudy's virtue still intact...

Our room was lovely.  I've said it before, but I simply will not stay anywhere else in Vegas, and yes, I have stayed in many properties in my Vegas travels.  The Venetian and Palazzo are, quite simply, stunning.

From the smell of Bergamot (I finally nailed that down last year) piped into the ventilation system, to the class of service, you wish you could move in.

And all of the rooms are suites.  Gorgeous marble bathrooms, fluffy down comforters and pillows, two plasma TVs in the suite, even one mounted in the bathroom, a step down living room with a wrap around couch, hell, even the sheers and curtains operate on a remote control.  (Note for next house:  I want that.)

The first night we had reservations to dine at Michael Mina - I waxed rhapsodic about this place when my sister and I ate there on my last trip to the strip.  Being a huge foodie, I could not wait to take Rudy.

Now, the Venetian complex is very centrally located on the strip.  It sits across the street from Mirage, Treasure Island, and Caesars, Wynn is next door, and the Bellagio - where Michael Mina is located - is just down the street from the Mirage.

I said, let's walk, it's just down the street.

OK, if you have never been, I'll explain exactly how stupid that statement is.  If you have been to Vegas, you've already rolled your eyes so hard, you probably sprained your cornea...

Nothing is Vegas seems far from anything else.  But when you start walking, you realize that is because all the buildings are so %^&$damned big.  The reality is that the casino which looks like it is right next to your hotel, it roughly five miles away.  That put Bellagio approximately 25 miles away.

In heels.

I'm stupid.  I have been going to Vegas for 20+ years, and I am still stupid.

Collapsing in the restaurant, my indignant feet were soon forgotten.  It was all I remembered and more because I got to share it, some incredible food, and a bottle of seriously perfect wine with Rudy.

And yes, he got me a cab ride back across the street to our hotel.

We spent the next day exploring the Wynn - the hotelier in Rudy is always snooping, estimating costs, he even got down on the floor in Bellagio once to check out the mosaic tile - doing a little gambling, just enjoying hanging out together.  No kids, no soccer games, no spoiled rotten Pomeranian in between us.

By 3pm we were back in our room, hanging out on the couch, had kind of hit a lag.

Not good since we had tickets to The Cirque du Soleil Beatles Love show at the Mirage right across the street.

As the clock ticked, I mumbled, "You know, I'm only half kidding when I say this, but I'd be willing to try some Red Bull to perk up."

He cocked an eyebrow.  Caffeine and Linda are not a good mix, especially when she is already tired.   But hey, what happens in Vegas, right?

He asked if I was serious.  I assured him that if it is good enough for Britney Spears, it's good enough for me.

With that, he opened the in room minibar and whaddayaknow?  A whole row of Red Bull!

We were like two teenagers with their first joint.  Giggling.  Wondering what it would be like.  Would we feel different?  What would it taste like?

He opened it and took a swig, then handed it to me.  Hmmm, tasted like sweet Mountain Dew.  Not bad.

Get your own damned can, Rudy.  This one is MINE.

Yes, we both indulged in our own cans of Red Bull and by the time we changed clothes for the night and walked out the room, we were wide awake.  So encouraged by the running of the bull through our systems, that we stopped in the gift shop on the way out of the Venetian and bought two more cans.

WHOA.  I grabbed a straw and slammed that thing in five seconds flat.  Bring on the Beatles! 

OK, the Beatles Love show - how to adequately explain?  I have been to many shows in Vegas - The Blue Man Group blew my mind and eardrums.  I have been baffled by the artistry and daring of the Cirque show "O", I have seen showgirl numbers, George Carlin, Dennis Miller, Wayne Brady... this was in a league of its own.

Quite simply put, we smiled for a solid hour and a half.  Really, our faces hurt by the last number.

Set in the round, the show is composed around original recordings from the Abbey Road studio sessions - even the funny ad libs, out takes, and goofing around of John, Paul, George & Ringo - and let me tell you, that Ringo is a funny f**ker.  The music is astounding - each seat has its own speaker system built in, and the performers make anyone for whom tying a shoe is an Olympic event, humbled.  The staging is joyful, and the creativity of the Cirque mind?  Well, they must smoke a lot of pot and wash it down with a lot of Red Bull.

I would see the show again and again.

High on caffeine and Beatles induced adrenaline, we romped through the casino.  I found a friendly quarter machine, and then we both settled at a Price Is Right nickel machine.  Don't let the whole "nickel" thing fool you.  These machines have 9 lines and you can bet a gazillion nickels per line.  You could lose the mortgage on a nickel machine these days.

Well, an hour and a half later, we were still sitting there.  His machine refused to let him go.  He kept winning.  And the damndest thing is that with these machines, you never know why.

Why when you get a shoe, a dog, a pair of scissors, an antelope, a Model T, and a unicorn do you win?  And when you get a shoe, a gravestone, three parrots, a banjo, and a bow tie, you lose?

Who cares?  You keep hitting the button.

At one point he won over 2300 nickels - don't ask, I still don't know why.  He kept asking me to do the math?  "How much is that?"

"Honey, it's midnight, I'll need at least three Red Bulls to do nickel math for you.  Just hit the Cash Out button, look at the ticket it prints out (machines no longer spit out real money) and then stick it back in.

That was a lot of money.

He played for a while longer and then we headed back to our casino where we suddenly decided that Asian food sounded really good.  Tell me Red Bull isn't like pot...

We got to bed by 2am, but were up early the next day to squeeze in some more fun before we had to head to the airport.  Time truly does fly when you're having fun because our two days went by in the blink of an eye.

We headed to the airport, had to say goodbye in the taxi - he was dropped at a different airline - and my mood immediately deflated.

What can I say?  He's like air for me.  I feel better, centered, when I am with him.  He is my safe place in this world.  And he "gets" me in ways no one else can.  He puts up with me when I'm overly tired and everything makes me giggle uncontrollably.  He rubs my back before I ask.  He indulges my Tourettes-like response to ridiculously dressed people.  He lets me use the bathroom first in the morning.  He even likes that the little girl in me wanted the mini Root Beer Float over Creme Brulee for dessert at Michael Mina.

He loves me.  The good, the bad, the infuriating, the fun, the insufferable, and the vulnerable

All of me.

So, if you're wondering if I "won" in Vegas, the answer is YES. 

But it's a jackpot I hit almost twenty years ago that keeps paying off.

Comments

[Brigette in MI]

"Tell me Red Bull isn't like pot..."

As someone who's never tried Red Bull... I'll have to take your word for it. This line cracked me up more than anything else in this blog!

The way you talk about Rudy and the sweet things you say are so heartwarming. I can't wait to hit my jackpot!!!

Glad you had a great time and thanks for sharing it with us. Stories from someone we 'know' allow us to live vicariously through you!

[Steph]

This is all soo sweet Linda. I can only pray and hope I too, find my prince charming. I wish that for your girls as well. You definately put Hallmark to shame with all the sentiments!

[natala]

awwwwwww.

[audreyf]

You guys STILL rock! My hubby and I are right behind you! I long for the day when a couple of "alone time" days can be wedged into our busy schedules--now I have hope! Glad you guys made the most of it! :-)

[Ame in upstate NY]

That is so sweet my teeth hurt. I wish I could feel like that about someone.

I have never had a desire to go to Las Vegas, but it sure sounds like fun!

You're a lucky woman!

[Jennifer]

Aahhh....Linda!!! You and Rudy remind me of my mom and dad...and that is not a bad thing!!! July 29th of this year marks 34 years together for them and the love that they show is inspiring. I am lucky in that my husband and I are on our way to having the same kind of relationship. People think I am crazy cause I am willing to drive 45 minutes into LA and then 45 minutes back just to have a quick lunch with him...being 35 weeks pregnant and suffering severe siatica nerve pain doesn't hold me back... I even sat on a bench at the gym w/no air conditioning and waited an hour while he trained a client just so I could spend an extra 30 minutes with him. What can I say; spending just a couple minutes with him can make my entire day.

[RBlues]

I get what you're saying Linda.

Here's an example: A few years ago, a group of us went to see Prince in concert. We found our seats and then left them to grab a drink before the show started. My husband drinks beer which was being sold right outside our entryway. I drink wine, which was not being sold at this particular stand and the line was very long. I left him in line and went looking for a concession stand that sold wine and told him I'd be back. Well, my stand was very far from where I left him and the line was also very long. He finished his business and came looking for me--cuz that's the kinda guy he is. At this point, there are hundreds of people milling around in a very tight space. When I finish, I start walking back and it was like magnets, how we found each other. My sister (who is married to his brother--that's how we met) says, "How did you see him like that in this crowd?" I said, "I didn't see him, I FELT him!" and it's true. Everywhere we go, he is the most handsome, sexy man in the room and he's mine!

[Sonia in MO]

::::sniff sniff::::: Ya'll are too sweet... and sounds like you had a lovely time in Vegas - enhanced by the Red Bull :) My 66 year old father drinks one of those before every golf tournament he plays in - no wonder he's his club champion! LOL!!!

I cracked up at Rudy the hotelier checking out the floors.... as a former hotel manager for 15 years, I still cannot enter a hotel without checking out carpets, wall coverings, and furnishings, the number of cars in the parking lots, and mentally estimating budgets... I guess it gets in the blood!

[ChickyChick (Kathy)]

Wow, great story Linda...I found myself laughing and tearing up at the same time. Your love story is like a paperback novel, one you want to go on and on it's so good. While I do have a really good marriage, I find myself a bit envious of your story. We live in the same house, and I think that means we sometimes take each other for granted. Don't get me wrong, after 7 1/2 years, I still get "butterflies" when I get ready for a "date" with my husband, but your's is like one of the great love stories of all time - maybe its the way you talk about each other on your blog, but I find myself wishing for the next installment of your story. Thanks so much for sharing such intimate details of your life with us.

[Rudy to Linda]

Thankfully among the things Linda knows about me is that I am not nearly as eloquent as she is, so I could never write or say anything as wonderful as what she has just written. I guess ILY will have to suffice from this fortunate man.

[Mary Lou in FL]

My husband and I have been married just about 23 years, and while we have had our ups and downs, our separations due to moving (just finished a 9 month stint of aloneness), I have to say, Linda, you put into words exactly how I feel about him. Including the "getting-to-know-you-again" phase.

We have talked about this before, and have decided that not only do you need to LOVE your partner, but you need to LIKE your partner. Nothing and certainly no relationship is perfect, and you need to wake up each day and decide that you still love him, like him, and want to be married to him. Marriage, especially a good one, takes time and effort to make it work.

I guess this is an issue that gets me going as we now live in a throw away society, too many people jump out of a marriage the minute they hit a rocky section.

I'll get off my soap box now, glad you both had a spectacular time!

[Theresa from Virginia]

Awwww, that's SO sweet!

Thanks for all the tips on places to go and things to do and see in Vegas -- I plan to get there one day.

[ChickyChick (Kathy) to Rudy]

Eloquently stated, in my opinion!

[Lori in Texas]

Oh Linda, how I wish I could write about my husband the way you're able to write about Rudy. Even though we've only been married nine years, it feels like we've been together forever and I couldn't imagine a life without him. I've wanted, so many times, to be able to tell him what he means to me and how I feel, but when I sit down and try to write, all I get are floods of grateful tears, overwhelming emotion... and no words to describe what's in my heart.

There's just nothing in the world to compare with being married to the person you are MEANT to spend your life with. It's life's biggest, best, and richest blessing.

[Lori in Texas to Rudy]

Side Note to Rudy: Steven got massively hit-on by a gay man a few years ago. But it was partially Steven's fault.

We were in a gay bar down on Cedar Springs, and Steven was dressed as Austin Powers (complete with ruffly shirt) - we had gone down there with friends for Halloween. While we were in this huge gay country-western bar, I had to run off to the restroom and, when I got back, Steven was on the receiving-end of a Texas-sized man-flirt. I had to jump in and rescue him. OMG it was too funny! I gotta hand it to my hubby though - he was very polite and flattered by the attention he got that night. He's a class act.

[Veronica]

That was beautiful. Glad you finally had some alone time with your man!

[stevenofnine]

Lori wrote:- I've wanted, so many times, to be able to tell him what he means to me and how I feel, but when I sit down and try to write, all I get are floods of grateful tears, overwhelming emotion... and no words to describe what's in my heart.

Thanks, babes! I love you!

[Rhonda in NC]

Thank you Linda for the inspiration! I've been married 9 years and still feel like we're in the "courting" stage where I still get butterflies when I see him. We try to keep our marriage fun and exciting with new adventures, but I'm always afraid that one day one or both of us will wake up and the butterflies will have flown away. Your feelings for Rudy, and his for you, show through so strongly in the words you write about him and it inspires me to believe that my marriage will make it 20+ years with butterflies intact. Thank you again!

[Linda Sharp to Rhonda in NC]

The biggest thing is to never lose that "WOW" factor.

It is so easy to take the person you live with for granted - Oh, he's/she's always here. I can appreciate him/her tomorrow.

It only takes a moment to stop when you enter a room, take a look at your partner, and go "WOW, this person wants to be with me."

Butterflies need nurtured. And as any long term couple knows, the giggly puppy love feelings ebb and flow. That's OK. Because when they do flow, it's pure magic. And when they don't? Well, you know that the tide WILL come back in again.

[Jamie in WI]

Now that is just awesome. I got goose bumps!

A big warm friday fuzzy!!

[Mom of 5]

What a great little love story! The best part is it's just a few paragraphs in this chapter of your life, with so much more to experience and grow with.

I just hung up the phone with my husband. Trust me, we know how to push each others' buttons, too, but we can also soothe, comfort, and love each other best. We've got our 17-year anniversary coming up, and if there's anything I could attribute to what got us here, it'd be respect, gratitude, similar values, forgiveness, charity, and a little good, old-fashioned lust. OK, maybe a lot. :-)

[Alexandra]

Awwwww.... so adorable! I hope my fiancee and I are still like that after many years of marriage.

BTW, we booked our stay at the Venetian. :-)
We won't be seeing LOVE, but we will get to see Terry Fator. For anybody who doesn't know who that is, he's the guy who won America's Got Talent last year. He's an extremely talented ventriloquist.

[Jennifer to Linda S.]

Linda Wrote:
"Butterflies need nurtured. And as any long term couple knows, the giggly puppy love feelings ebb and flow. That's OK. Because when they do flow, it's pure magic. And when they don't? Well, you know that the tide WILL come back in again."

LMAO- my mother once said pretty much the same thing to me a long, long time ago!!! I am thinking she and dad are gonna have to come to the DGMS convention in Vegas when we finally manage to get it planned...

[Dorothy]

Great story - gotta get me some of that Red Bull. But seroiusly, IMO this blog is a testimony to what love, commitment and family values is all about and to the fact that they do, indeed, not only exist but flourish. Linda & Rudys story is not unique - there are plenty of us out here - but Linda's ability to paint verbal pictures of the good side of marriage and family life serve as encouragement to those who have lost faith. We hear so much about bad relationships, abuse, cheating,etc. that it would be easy to give up and buy into the myth that solid marriages are a thing of the past. Hang in there all you young( and not so young ) folks who haven't hit this particular JACKPOT yet. It's out there, but like anything else, it takes time, some work and even a little LUCK. I found mine 38 years ago and I still wouldn't trade for anyone.

[Another Lori in TX]

My husband and I have been married for 21 years next week. Today is my birthday, and he is out of town on business. This morning he called just to sing Happy Birthday, and I giggled like a teenager! We've definitely had our ups and downs, but we wouldn't trade it for anything!

Thanks, Linda, for giving all of us a vicarious trip to Vegas!