There Is A God...

And He doesn't like hour long results shows either.

It only took a full season of constant complaints on every blog, board, and post out there, but the PTB at American Idol have announced they will cut the results shows back to 30 minutes next season.

Wow - I think I just felt my brain uncurdle a tad...

Comments

[Jamie in WI]

Wow - my ears stopped bleeding!

[Bobbsey]

For some reason I believe that they were going to do this all along and it has nothing to do with our complaints (but we can dream!). I think that Fox planned for the hour long results for the entire season because of scheduling around the writers strike. It was just easier for them to continue with the hour slot for their writer-free (in their minds) juggernaut.

[Tiffany]

Thank God!!!!!! (or the goddess, or fate, or the universe, or just plain old Uncle Nigel, I don't care, I just think SOMEBODY ought to be thanked!)

[Nikki]

I think Bobbsey has it right. They do very little swayed by public opinion.

I don't mind the hour long results shows at the start when 2 people have to get booted and both must sing. Although if you cut back on Ryan here as well you can get 'er done in 30 minutes.

But the rest of the time? If you cut back on Ryan you can still get in the group song, vommercial, performance by mentor (when applicable) and elimination festivities.

You can get more in if you cut the group song but that seems to be an institution they hold dear to their hearts. And it probably serves a purpose prepping them for the tour.

Oh happy day. 30 minutes pimping Ford et al I can take.

What I would love to see next season, is when they get down to the point where they are doing 2 songs -- instead of that, why not let each of them do a WHOLE song of their own choosing not from an era or a theme, just what suits them best?

[SK]

Glad you and the girls are okay Linda. That was some freaky weather.

[Sonia in MO]

Well, all I can say is YAY! :)

[NH Diane]

I think I must be the only one who likes the group song. Sometimes it gives me chills (she says, blushing.)

[Maria to Nikki]

No, they are not swayed by public opinion. Isn't that ironic? I mean they are trying to find the AMERICAN IDOL via voting....

[Nikki to Maria]

If the ratings for the results shows were as high as they had been in the past, they would definitely keep them an hour long... more ads to line the pockets of Nigel and Co. I guess I will watch again next season, but it gets less compelling. Linda's recaps are generally better than the show.

[Theresa from Virginia]

Woo Hoo!!!

[Lori in Texas]

I want to share something with everyone that had me laughing out loud and saying, "YEAH!!!!"

This article is in last week's Entertainment Weekly, and it hits the nail right square on the head.

'American Idol': How to Fix It
By Mark Harris

Something is wrong with American Idol, and here's the surprise: American Idol knows it. It's not the ratings; they're down, but after nearly six years, a plunge was inevitable. And it's not the contestants: Some past seasons may have showcased more talent, but this year's final sing-off on May 20 will almost surely be livelier than last year's Jordin-Sparks-vs.-beatbox-guy minor-league championship, or 2006's clash of the titans between Soul Patrol and McWhatshername.

The problem is that this year, more than ever, Idol seems to view itself as a worn-out machine. You can hear the cynicism when Simon Cowell, in a tone of bored royalty, praises a contestant's ''smart'' song choice after they caterwaul about God or America in order to avoid weepily waving farewell while Ruben Studdard ominously ''celebrates'' them home. Simon isn't complimenting them; he's announcing that he thinks the show's phoning and texting voters are dull, easily herded sheep who listen half-attentively for ''values'' buzzwords, and he's congratulating the singers for realizing they can game the system. And the system — rather than a fun alternative to it — is what American Idol now represents.

Yes, it's still a monster, but the Frankenstein stitches are showing. You can see the strain each time Ryan Seacrest manfully glues on his ''earnest'' expression while explaining yet again that Paula Abdul is a valued member of the Idol family, even though the night before, her head appeared to fall off her shoulders and roll down the aisle like a bowling ball as she judged a song Jason Castro hadn't sung yet. You can spot the malaise when the camera catches the judging panel staring into space or looking anywhere but the stage. And you can sense the grimness of every taped segment in which a contestant mumbles some strenuously coached niceties about how Andrew Lloyd Webber is ''the dude'' or Neil Diamond is ''amazing,'' even as their body language suggests that they are about to endure the equivalent of a very long car trip to Grandma's.

With their annual repetition, some of the things that have always been irritating about Idol seem even more so: the carnival of Day of the Locust fame whores that parades through the audition shows, the prepackaged backstories (Brooke's a nanny! Kristy Lee likes horsies!), Simon's continued criticism of performers as ''too Broadway'' when, with a few well-known exceptions, musical theater is basically the only viable showbiz destination for most Idol alums. Those elements probably can't be fixed. But here are some that can:

1. Tone down the product placement.
Tell Ford and Coke that if they want to buy an ad, they can buy an ad. Not redecorate the red room with bottle silhouettes, and not drag the contestants through another cruddy commercial while all lyric-botching evidence implies they should be rehearsing. American Idol is still TV's top show; would the whole enterprise really cave in if Fox stopped treating it like a QVC infomercial?

2. Devise a dignified exit strategy for Paula and Randy.
It's time. His autopilot appraisals — ''It was just all right for me,'' ''You worked it out,'' ''You did your thing'' — constitute as slothful a dereliction of duty as her inability to...well, I suddenly forgot my thoughts about Paula, but you look beautiful tonight, and you are always...so connected to the specialness that is...what you bring to you. (Cue applause. And call 911!) Yes, their portrayals of themselves are very convincing. (They're acting, right?) But no tears, since they both have enough money to keep themselves in bling and small dogs until the rapture. Now how about two judges who can listen to the contestants sing and offer quick, sharp critiques? No whining that it's hard — we all do it at home every week. Oh, and ban the judges from dress rehearsals. They should form their opinions at the same time we do.

3. Pick fewer — and fresher — ''mentors.''
Dolly Parton rules, but did so many of this season's greats have to be older than Dumbledore? When American Idol becomes about sixtysomethings coaching teenagers on how to sing ''Cracklin' Rosie,'' a rather large swath of pop-music history is being ignored. Conversely, more challenging, inventively themed hours might yield some surprises — after all, Kelly Clarkson, the Meryl Streep of Idol, broke through on Big Band Night, and Fantasia Barrino essentially won by shattering the show's formula with ''Summertime.'' Similar changeups might reward competitors who like to explore music, not just make pretty sounds. Speaking of which...

4. Raise the minimum contestant age to 18.
It's never fun to see a stage kid's deer-in-the-headlights look (remember Kevin ''Chicken Little'' Covais?). David Archuleta has a beautiful voice, but rarely has a talented singer been less fun to watch; too young to make (and too timid to explain) his own choices, he looks like a kid quaking outside the principal's office every time he's judged. In a few years, he'll be a better singer with more to say for himself; meanwhile, the High School Musical vibe around him panders to the speed-texting teen demographic at the expense of everyone else. Oh, damn it, did I just write something mean about David Archuleta? America, flag, God, freedom, the troops! I hope I won you back, because I have three points left.

5. Stop the medley madness!
If Idol is meant to create future pop stars, it's time to rethink those elimination-night up-with-people medleys. We know you have an hour to fill, so how about filling it by revealing the actual vote totals, from top to bottom? Producers claim this would ruin the suspense (because right now, NOBODY SUSPECTS the two Davids have been getting a lot of votes); on the contrary, being able to track the progress of your favorite might energize the constituencies of some middle- or bottom-dwelling singers. In any case, those Brady Bunch Variety Hourgroup sing-alongs are credibility grenades tossed at the winner's future career. Sex tapes on TMZ are less mortifying.

6. The Delta Sigma Bimbo hand-waving mosh pit must go. Forever.

7. Less talking, more singing.
Why are song performances only 90 seconds? Are you looking for someone who can actually sing, or just a pretty robot who can race to an unmotivated money-note climax in record time? Actually, don't answer that.

[Ginger]

I have mental confetti raining down in my head just knowing that I don't have to sit through an hour long elimination show again! And Linda must be popping champagne that she won't be recapping this borefest anymore.
To Lori - I saw that article too - and totally agree with the suggestions!

[Lori in Texas]

I want to tell you all about something that I've been meaning to say for a while... pardon me please, is going to be long.

In the UK, Andrew Lloyd Webber has been running a talent competition for the last three years. Hubby and I watch it every year (it's available online). The show is basically an open casting-call for huge first-class London theatre productions, and competitors come from all over the UK.

The auditions work much like American Idol - contestants first sing a cappella before three judges (and sometimes Lloyd Webber himself). Those that are chosen move on to a step much like the "Hollywood" part of AI. Then the ones chosen from there move on to a concentrated "school" where they learn music, dance and speaking-parts from the show they're auditioning for. The final group of a little over a dozen contestants are chosen after a private performance for Lloyd Webber and a large group of theatre and music biz folks.

Then the live shows begin - two per week (one performance show and one, shorter, results show the following night), with contestants singing ENTIRE songs (sometimes including dancing, back-up singers and additional back-up dancers on-stage) live before a panel of three judges, plus Lloyd Webber and a huge studio audience. After the show, anyone in the UK can vote for their favorites by calling or texting - but the calls aren't free. However, all funds received from the toll-call votes are donated to charity (I particularly love this part). There are no product sponsors, there is no "pimping," and, quite often, the judges AND Lloyd Webber are quite harsh and brutally honest with their criticism (for example, in last Saturday's live show, Lloyd Webber told one girl that she needed to get on the next bus home... she was subsequently voted out the following night).

For the results show, all texted and called-in votes are tallied and the two people with the lowest amount of votes have to perform a LIVE "sing-off" for Lloyd Webber - they each sing the same song, together, as a duet. When they finish, Andrew Lloyd Webber makes the final decision about who goes home and who stays, based on the live performances, the sing-off, and his opinion of their ability to carry a major London theatre production.

During the week between live shows, the competitors do "missions" which involve acting, dancing and general stage-craft. Parts of these missions are shown during the live shows. It really gives everyone a very good insight as to how prepared the contestants are to be on stage.

In short, it's brilliant. It's entertaining. And the general quality of the contestants and the actual perfomances of the competitors blows away anything American Idol has ever dreamed of.

The first year was "How Do You Solve A Problem Like Maria?" and they cast the role of Maria Von Trapp for a huge revival of "The Sound of Music." The second year was "Any Dream Will Do" and they cast the role of Joseph for "Joseph & The Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat." This year it's "I'd Do Anything" and they are casting the role of Nancy for Cameron Mackintosh's London revival of "Oliver!" -- and they are also casting the role of Oliver, but the public isn't voting on that part -- only Cameron Mackintosh and Andrew Lloyd Webber are choosing that role, but the competition is part of the TV show and is shown at the same time. The Oliver contestants and the Nancy contestants also perform together on the show.

If the producers of American Idol would watch the UK Lloyd Webber series and adopt even just a FEW of their ideas, the show's quality and entertainment level would be so much better. My family gets so excited each year when the Lloyd Webber show starts. It's too much freakin' fun - and it's a heck of a lot more fun to watch.

[Tom]

Thank you, God. I like the suggestions for improvement, especially with the judges. Look at DWTS. Three judges who criticize and give suggestions for improvement. No sidetracks to La La Land or the old fallback "pitchy" (a word I can go without hearing for the rest of my life).

Definitely, let's see the votes or at least give the judges a vote (again, like DWTS). Maybe part of their attitude is that they don't have any say.

It's the weekend and the Friday Song is playing. Peace, Out.