The Best Laid Plans of Mice and Mom

You know, if the past couple weeks of Mother Nature's and Papa Earth's fury have taught us anything, it's that they are terribly inconsiderate houseguests.

They come to call with very little notice, leaving a person no time to vacuum, make a bread bowl of spinach dip, or dig out a life-saving shelter.

Our personal schedules and obligations mean nothing to them. 

We can plan all we want, we can schedule our every move, we can program our every waking moment into our Blackberries and iPhones, and still have none of it ultimately matter to them.

If the earth is going to shake, it doesn't check to see if it's a convenient time for you.  If the wind is going to blow, it just does, no courtesy call so you can reschedule your bikini wax, doctor's appointment, movie date ... or life.

So it went last night in Austin.

I had warned in the previous blog entry that the recap would be delayed till today due to circumstances (read: kids' schedules) beyond my control.  My role last evening was one of function, not FUN.  I was a sherpa with no mountain.  A taxi driver with no tip at the end of the ride.

And that was fine with me.  The kids do their part in being straight A, athletic, overachievers and budding Ethel Barrymores, and I do mine - facilitating their drive (literal and figurative) towards their individual successes.

I had last evening scheduled down to the minute.  I had to.  Three kids, all involved in three separate activities, none closer than a 20 minute drive to the next.

I had every start time, pick-up time, drive time, and fast food line factored in.  The schedule was tight, but I could manage it.

Mother Nature was not impressed with my Schwarzkopf-like logistical planning, however.

No, she had a bug up her ass last night, the size of a Boeing Dreamliner.

Sideways.

I had picked up Culley and run across town to drop Carson at soccer training.  On-time, doing fine.

The sky was rather gray and ominous.

After asking a team parent to keep an eye on Carson, and safe in the knowledge that should the skies open up in my absence, they would keep her in their car till I could get back, I hit the road to take Kendall across town to the fields where she would be reffing her 8pm game.

The skies that direction were the color of a bad mood.

Arriving at the fields, I overheard many of the parents who were arriving for the game muttering about the weather, and if the game would actually be able to take place.

Deciding that my plan of going back to pick up Carson then taking she and Culley home before heading back out to wait for Kendall needed altered, I decided that I would speed back to Carson's fields and then right back to Kendall's fields to be there just in case the game got called due to weather.

It was on the drive back to pick up Carson that my phone rang with updates from other soccer parents about the weather moving in.

The skies were now almost inky.

Tornado and Severe Thunderstorm warnings to the west of us, moving in quickly.

Picking up Carson, the drive back to Kendall's fields was one of those "anal puckering affairs", especially when my friend called to update me that the tornado warning now included two more counties - the one where Kendall was working, and the one where we live.

I got back to her fields - it was very dark, save for the bright lights of the single field being used for play.

I queried several parents on the sidelines to see if they were aware of the warnings - No.  They were only aware their daughters were playing soccer.

Within three minutes of my arrival, Kendall blew the whistle for half-time, and I blew all protocol to cross the field and get her attention.  As the center, she was in charge of the game, and she needed to know about the weather, as she would have to make the call to stop the game.

I filled her in, and she confabbed for one moment with her crew.  I then watched her walked to both coaches to explain the situation and the danger that was coming.

During her brief exchange, the lightening show began.  Small flickers, but all it takes is one blip to call a game.  You don't mess with electricity.

She immediately called the girls from both teams back to the field, setting them up for a courtesy kick-off of the second half, so the record would show the game had been played in more than half its entirety.  The ball was kicked, and she blew the whistle.  Very professional, and everyone ran for the parking lot.

We were not two minutes into the drive home when the sky turned into a strobe light.  Seriously, I have never seen such an impressive display of flickering, twisting, illumination since John Travolta had Night Fever.

The 20 minute drive home was tense, and Rudy was on the phone giving us updates on our weather via his computer in Seattle.

It was coming our way, hard and fast.

We had just turned onto our street when the first piece of hail hit the roof of the van, then more hit the windshield.  In five seconds, it was raining ice chunks the size of tiny men, and my Hallelujah was seeing the garage door open in response to my frantic pushing of the button.

Once inside, and very much aware that Mother Nature was not just coming, but pretty much on my doorstep and obviously on the rag, I tried the TV to check the weather report from the local stations.

No satellite.

Great.

Checked the computer, pulled up the Doppler.

WHOA.

(And that's one of the GOOD pictures from later in the evening.)

The one I pulled up when I got home actually had purple and black areas.  PURPLE.

The hail was knocking the house around, and certainly giving the appearance of cellulite to every car parked out on the street.

The girls and I immediately emptied out the closet under the stairs - the middle of the middle of the house, and they dragged down pillows and quilts.

It became our Hunker Bunker for the evening, as three separate waves of intense, warning worthy weather rolled through the area.

Eventually, things calmed down enough outside that I was able to get the kids (and animals - poor Ro, she was so freaked out and obviously unable to go outside to potty in the hail, that she pooped on the carpet - a forgiveable offense, all things considered.  Heck, I'm surprised I didn't poop on the carpet too.) calmed down inside and convince them it was safe to go to bed.

Things are quieter this morning - rain, with the potential for more thunderstorms.

Unfortunately, one of the subsequent messes that has resulted - aside from the huge one that now exists from us emptying that large closet of its boxes and copious amounts of crap, is that I have no Idol on my DVR.

No Fantasia, in all her glory?  I am surmising from your comments that I missed something fairly, um, shall we say, interesting?

I know from reading online that Syesha went home.  But then I would have known that without watching, without a computer.  Hell, one barely needed a pulse to know that was coming.

So I am left in the position of asking YOU to entertain ME.

Tell me what I missed.  What Paula was wearing.  What ridiculous Cirque du So Lame maneuvers Ryan used to announce the final two.

I apologize for not being able to chime in with my insight, but as I said in the beginning of this piece, Mother Nature just doesn't give two poops in a whirlwind. 

Oreo does, but Mother Nature doesn't.  :O)

Comments

[Tracy]

You didn't miss much... crappy group song, Fantasia, recap of the kids going back to their hometown, crying, Ryan saying it will be a battle of the Davids... he told Puppy first, and left Syesha and Cook to hold hands and wonder for a couple of minutes, then told them... and that was about it. I didn't really pay alot of attention what anyone was wearing...just kinda fast forwarded through the yucky parts and watched the ending and Fantasia.
Don't worry about not keeping us informed, I am sure the radio stations and local fox stations will let EVERYONE know what is going on with the finale, whether they want to know or not.
Had my own weather tragedy this morning... too much rain caused a small mud slide near my pond, pulling the hose to the filter off the pump and making all the water in the pond pump out of the pond into the garden... so I had to deal with dead fish this morning before work. Very depressing... all but 5 died, and of course the expensive ones were the ones to bite the big one.
Try to have a happier day.

[Chris]

Hi Linda,

Well, here is sort of a recap. They kick it off with a group sing to "Ain't No Stopping Us Now." The background singers seem to have a pretty big role in this one, but that's OK. I wish they wouldn't make them dance, but I guess they need to be ready for the tour.

Before introducing a recap of last night, host Ryan Seacrest says that 56 million votes were cast.

Then Fantasia comes out to sing. The expression on Simon's face during this performance is priceless.

Then, results time, sort of. David Archuleta is called out from backstage so he can watch footage from his visit home, which looks pretty darned overwhelming. He says "gosh" about 100 times, but then he kind of laughs at himself about it afterward. Then they show his "journey through Idol" video, which they are doing with everyone this evening. Syesha Mercado comes out to see her video from her trip to Sarasota and her "journey" video. She's also overwhelmed by the support of her fans in her hometown. Then, it's David Cook's turn. He tells Ryan he originally went to Idol auditions in Omaha to support his little brother Andrew's efforts. But next thing he knew, he had a camera in his face, and he was trying out. Little brother doesn't seem too bitter about it, though.

After the break, results time, for reals: The final two are David Archuleta and David Cook.

Not a big surprise, but Syesha did a pretty fantastic job setting herself up for a career after this show

[Lori in Texas]

I mentioned your weather in the DGMS chat last night - I had the Doppler up on another browser and was watching the tornado warnings marching straight across Austin. I was very concerned about you, Linda, because I knew you were out and about with the girls. I'm VERY glad you're all OK and got through it without any damage.

[Tom]

Sorry, Linda. I watched the Food Network last night (Al Roker touring diners). It held my attention. I tuned in to AI just in time to see Syesha sing her exit song.

I'm glad you and your family managed to weather the storm safely.

[Annie]

Hi guys.

I read your blog often, Linda, but never comment.

Here's Heidi's funny recap of last night:

http://blogwhatblog.wordpress.com/2008/05/14/are-we-there-yet/

She's part of our fun AI pool.

[Annie]

One more thing:

The funniest thing for me was the look on Simon's face after Fantasia sang. WTF was all over his face. Also a little What The Hell Was That? Priceless.
I was so glad I had DVR for this show. I don't think I've ever fast-forwarded more than last night.

[Kathy in FL]

I'm glad you are all safe. I remember too well the Hunker Bunker from when we lived in Alabama. I ff'd through most everything last night. David A. looked like he was about to collapse (in a bad way) after finding out he was a finalist--he looked pale and shaky. Syesha exited with class and grace, did her thing and said good-bye. No waterworks. I'm looking forward to the final next week. It should be entertaining. Hope the weather improves!

[susan]

Regarding Fantasia and Simon: So...imagine this lovely girl the last time we saw her singing "This Is My Now", tears streaming down her face, thanking God and whoever else she could think of...that was then, this is NOW. Entering stage center, a husky Fantasia with (and I'm not kidding) bright orange pink something hair cut close to her head, eyes made up to make her look like a freaky kind of doll in a chiller movie, donning a skin tight black leather outfit with no back to it. Her attitude was that of a woman angry at the world, she spit out the words to this awful gangsta song while simultaneously gyrating her hips for all the pre-teens up front waving their hands. She screeched her song. Not one note was sung properly, it was yelled and just when I thought it was over, the camera pans up to some gangsta wearing a hat to cover his face because he must have been embarrassed, who talk sang back to her. Somewhere in the middle of the song Fantasia had sex...no, just kidding, but almost. The song ends, the camera pans to the judges and the look on Simon's face is absolutely priceless. Mouth wide open, eyes showing utter shock, I mean he was so embarrassed he tried to duck under Paula's skirt. Then the camera pans back to Fantasia who is huffing and puffing at Ryan, who in embarrassment mentioned something about a work-out...

Funny thing was, this was the highlight of the show. The rest was soooooooooooooo boring amd sooooooooooooooooo predictable. When Simon and even Paula cuts into Syesha the night before for no reason other than to make sure America knows she's next to go...

David A., when he found out he was safe, almost fainted when he went to the couch. David C. was very diplomatic.

Hope this helps you Linda. I know what it feels like to see disaster coming your way because my house got direct hits from Hurricanes Frances, Jeanne and Wilma in 2004 and 2005. Just had a wind insurance contractor review my post Wilma renovations which included $8,000 in accordian hurricane shutters. He told me my house was really really really prepared for the next one (thank God).

[Lori in Texas]

I wish someone had a screenshot of Simon's face last night. I just busted out laughing so hard! He looked like someone had smacked him in the back of the head with a 2x4... completely and thoroughly gobsmacked. It was CLASSIC.

[Ginger]

I'm just glad to hear all the Sharps are safe. Go to YouTube and watch Fantasia - the look on Simon's face is absolutely priceless.
I did enjoy watching everyone have their day in their hometowns. It made me tear up a bit watching David C and his brother become overwhelmed by the outpouring of affection during the parade.
And I'm sure I'll get slammed for saying it, but when Syesha's dad starting talking bout his drug and alcohol addictions all I could think of was, typical, addicts are aways the same - it's all about them. Instead of just being happy for her, we had to hear about his life. I mean, really, did he have to embarrass her by dicussing his addictions to the whole world?
Anyway - looking forward to the final - I think David C has it wrapped up.

[Ted]

The group song was "Ain't No Stoppin' Us Now", not so good IMO especially for Puppy...The Ford song was silly too but they always are. Next Fantasia "sings". Her hair what there is of it is flaming red. The best part was when they showed Simon. The look on his face was priceless. He must have been thinking WTF is she doing/ singing. Ryan brings them out in the same order as the previous night and shows their home town visits followed by their AI journey. We get to see DA's Mayor Handlebars again and Syesha's mayor [some 60ish woman]tried to do a handstand for God only knows what reason. They both cry like babies and DA keeps saying "Gosh" to the point of being annoying. DA sings Imagine.
We or maybe just I find out that Syesha's dad is a former druggie.
DC gets to Kansas City. He's on TV and radio. Sings a song or two for the fans downtown, rides in a parade in Blue Springs, and throws out the first pitch at a KC Royals game. A few tears but no gushing like the other two. Then Randy lines them up and asks for comments from the judges. Randy has next to nothing to say. Paula starts ok but then rambles. Simon is short saying if the right two make it then next week will be quite a humdinger. After making fun of that word, Ryan says Puppy is safe, then says Syesha is going home. Pretty tame elimination compared to others. Syesha was brave and sang and the show ended on time.

[JD]

Hi!
Long time reader first time responder :)
I had to chime in because I personally thought that Simon's look was because of the back up singer/dancer/gyrator's dress had raised up above the threshold where bare checks and panties were visible to all. Poor children of the corny learned quite a bit last night! Other than that, boring, boring, boring show- if Puppy wins I'm going to stab my ears out with the closest sharp implement. And how much did I love the sign from Tuesday nights show that said "Cougars Love Cook"- talk about kind of scary but really funny. I'm pretty sure they weren't talking about the four legged furry kind, rather the two legged horny kind.
Glad you are all safe!

[Leigh in FL]

Glad you are all safe!

You also didn't miss a few camera shots of Paula wearing a very low cut whatever, and Ryan at his most juvinile telling her to put the puppies away. He also made quite a few homo-jabs at Simon again last night. SO.OVER.RYAN.AS.HOST.

The back up singers did a great job during the group song, and Syesha was spot on from what I could tell. Both Davids screwed the lyrics up. Puppy looked like his usual tail wagging self the whole time. DC looked like he could not only care less, but wanted desperately to be ANYWHERE else.

Fantasia. What can I say. Umm...Magenta hair, no bra, wacked out movements EVERYWHERE (I swear the girl never stood in the same spot for more than a second) and absolutely unintelligeble singing...if that is what you could call it. Actually...just just ran around and screamed while her back up singers did a half decent job. I actually had to mute the TV before my ears started bleeding from the screaming.

The farce of a show continued to go on with Puppy's hometown visit. PapaPuppy looked like all the adulation was all for him (that man makes me want to hit HIM with a rolled up newspaper) and Puppy just did his usual "gawsh gee willikers" act through it all.

Syesha's homecoming, very emotional. More bearable to watch than Puppy's. DC's also emotional, but was of course must see TV for the evening. That man could take a shower and we all would be RIVETED. (some a little more than others *coughjannacough*)

It all ended with Puppy-safe...DC-safe...and see ya Syesha. She knew it. We knew it. Almost no point in watching the show. No tears were shed as she ended the evening with the Alicia Keys song(and did a fabulous job at it IMO.) That girl is going to be a big star, despite the producers obvious puppy-pimpage.

We will all tune in next week, despite the fact that we voters seem to have little impact on the outcome. Those nasty AI producers know they have us by the short and curlies. I just hope mother nature decides to give our dealer, Linda, a break long enough for us to score a recrap like the addicts that we are. (I think I am already starting to get the shakes...)

[Susan]

Seacrest was a tool again last night. Paula's girls were on display and her told her to button up because Idol is a "family show". Perhaps he should listen to some of the things he said this year on this "family show".

[Diane in Evansville]

Linda,
So glad that everyone is okay! Here's the link to the recap on our website:

http://www.wiky.com/Article.asp?id=354812&spid=

Also......here's Fantasia in all her "glory," courtesy of You Tube!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9x9QJWY2gp4

Talk to you next week on the show; I'll be in touch.

[Mary Ellen]

First of all, Linda, glad you all are safe. I have been through hurricanes and earthquakes, but I don't find anything quite a frightening as tornadoes. As for AI, what a snoozefest with a predictible result - David squared in the final. The highlight of the evening was Simon's face after Fantasia's...dang I don't want to call it a perfomance but don't know what else to call it...performance. He looked like he just got sideswiped by a bus. My son and his girlfriend were howling right along with me on the couch...we couldn't stop laughing. Fantasia's salmon pink hair, the skintight outfit,and her screeching like a wounded animal had us rolling laughing! All my son could say was WTF was that??? I say that if she had sung that at auditions she would have had her 15 minutes of fame as one of the awful people who swore they sound just like (insert diva here)and got highlighted for being a train wreck.

[Susan]

Almost forgot -- during the group number, they did some kind of line dance. You could almost hear the voices in David A's head: "one, two, step to the left, two steps to the right, now turn!"

[Ted]

Oops.. Then Ryan lines them up and asks for comments from the judges. Randy was just kinda there.

[Laurie Evans]

I went to your website for my Idol fix and read about your weather situation. Glad that you and your family are safe after last night’s storm.

Let me fill you in on AI. For an elimination show, last nights Idol was pretty good. We saw the final three hometown visits – and while I’m not a Sayesha fan, I had tears in my eyes watching her cry out of happiness for the wonderful welcome she received from her old school, friends & family and town. All three contestants had mobs of people show up and all three were overwhelmed and shed tears. Nice.

Now, Fantasia – well, I can’t describe it though if you saw the quick shot of Simon’s face as he watched her performance, I think you’d understand. He looked….horrified, astounded, in shock. Yes, “shock” is the best way to describe the performance. She died her hair a Crayola red color with some magenta thrown in for the fun of it (when asked about her hair, even Fantasia didn’t know what the color was). Her “song choice” was weird, hard to sing in fact – so I guess that’s why she screeched her way through it. Her booty-shaking made me laugh, in fact, with her red hair she reminded me of a rooster stretching before it starts its morning “wake up crow”. She was the highlight and lowlight of the show.

Back to the contestants, all three were center stage for the elimination. Ryan was announcing who would be back for next weeks final show, first announcing Puppy’s name who actually looked worried and then after a pause (where my heart was thumping loudly), he announced Cookie’s name (thank god). Sayesha seemed totally prepared for the moment. She was smiling, gracious and composed. She sang her last song (wow, I can’t remember which song it was – as Simon would say, “people will forget about it the next day”) - and that was that.

Hope they’ll be no glitches with your watching next week’s finale. Wednesday’s aren’t the same without your comments. Thanks for making the season less boring for me.

[Anke]

The only thing worth watching last night was the camera shot of Simon's face when Fantasia was doing whatever the hell it was she was doing... His expression cracked me up so much my cat went hauling off under the bed out of sheer fright!
I'm so glad you and the girls are all safe. Living in North Alabama, we get our share of tornadoes and hail so I know exactly how you all felt.

[Rita]

We had a hailstorm in S. Carolina last weekend. Fortunately it didn't last as long as it sounds like yours did, but any amount of ice falling on your windshield when you can hardly see three feet in front of your car? It seems like it lasts forever. Don't want to repeat that at all.

Aww! I actually really enjoyed the results show this week! Apparently I'm in the minority! Ha!

They nixed the ridiculous Fan Q&A Session - FINALLY! And as for the "special guest", laughable or no, at least Fantasia is an American Idol. She's connected somehow, so I actually care to at least see what she's done with herself. And then laugh at Simon's face. (In case it needs reiterating, it was HILARIOUS.) And at least there was only one "special guest" this week.

For the first time, I felt like the focus during the results show was actually on the contestants and not on just selling advertising. They showed the home-visit videos for all three contestants as well as a journey video that showed what all each had accomplished in their time on Idol. And after each journey video, Ryan would say something like, "But is (s)he safe tonight or not? We'll find out at the end of the show."

Also interesting to note, during the interview with David Cook at the beginning of his "video package", he said that he wasn't even going to audition. He went with his brother for moral support and a producer put a camera in his face and pretty much "talked him into it." So they brought his brother up on stage during the interview-thing. And Ryan "forged a deal" that whatever money David Cook makes, he has to split 50/50 with his brother.

Also, everybody cried. And May 8 is David Archuleta Day in his hometown in Utah. And May 9 is Syesha Day in Sarasota, Florida. Surprisingly no "keys to the city" this year, though! :)

[Theresa from Virginia]

Not much I can add regarding last night's show -- I FF'ed through everything except the last 5 minutes or so.

Linda, glad you are all safe and sound down in my birth state.

[ginny]

linda...thank GOD you are all safe...please stay that way...
and now...(drum roll please)...this is my personal take on idol last night...
prior to the show i popped in the jodi foster movie ""the brave one"...and had to stop it to watch ai...good movie btw...
the group song sucked donkey pee pee...a prelude of what was to come...56 million votes cast...56???...that something like 186,66666 votes per person???...yeah right...ok well that lie being told...the judges looked like they always do...randy wearing something that was on sale from last years line from casual male big and tall...paula looking like the crack whores who live next door to me...and simon...well you choose black or white???...and its on with the showwwwwwww...
fantasia came out to perform...i think it was a performance anyways...prosperity shows on fantasia...shes been eating well...but i think all shes been eating is home made mac and cheese...and a lot of it...she was wearing i think a black velvet pantsuit...a onesey from the street walker layne bryant collection...she sang something resembling a song..nothing on key...nothing rhyming...she made her way thru the audience of young girls showing off her new skills of dancing like some remote tribe off the national geographic channel...im not being rude...just honest folks...perhaps her dance was to conjur up the bad weather you had last night...guess it worked too...then some rather large fellow on the catwalk added his piece...he looked like that guy from fat albert cartoon...the one with the hat pulled over his face...well no face...we have a neighbor here who has her hair cut just like that and i have dubbed her..."hair hat"...he looked exactly like that...fantasia continued to pump and gyrate...then oh my god...then she turned her back to the audiance and kinda bent over....all i can say...what i saw...i layed back on the bed and laughed so hard the dogs came over and licked my glasses...her ass...ohhh my good momma...that black velvet...im tellin ya you could have shown a lazer light show off that big ole thing...and then they panned to simons face...a look so funny i couldnt wait till you commented on it...he looked like he had just seen someone shoot his puppy...like he was so ashamed he ever said anything good about her...after she was done waggling her butt and thunder thighs for all of us 56 million viewers...i could just hear mothers trying to explain to theyre kids what had just happened...it was a lesson in a fertility dance...it looked much like a dirty movie i rented once called..."D cup delights"...she was panting like a horse rode hard and definately put away wet...thankfully she could barely breathe so we were spaired too much verbage from her...i think they had an ambulance awaiting to take her to the jenny craig institute...ohh and her hair....holy Jesus her hair...she looked like a bloody human q-tip...it was the color red on that dopplar radar picture you have here..."warning disgustingly bad performance ahead...run for cover...hide...hide save yourself and children first'...gahh....she looked like she smelled bad...OK...that now being over...they did the contestants trips home...a lot of crying...blah blah blah...parades...concerts at home...mug shots...i thought one thing particurally funny...during syeshas trip...she was walking a gauntlet of adoring screaming fans...and some woman handed her a baby...for a photo op...to which she said later...someone even threw a baby at me...yeah right sy...cause the mom knows you can now give the kid a better life than she could possibly imagine...youll make millions...then they did the drug recovering dad thing...talking about staying off drugs for sy...sorry pops but youll be hitting that crack pipe in a few minutes cause your girl got the shaft...they had all three on stage awaiting the results...results or is that code for..."what nygel has decided...as yule brenner said in the old movie "moses"..."so it is said....so it shall be"...by by sy...so now you know...and i would have stayed to watch this mess even if i had been ordered to take shelter...it was the best spoof/comedy on tv in a very long time...but this is comin from someone who doesnt have cable...ill watch anything...next weeks show will be a let down to this one...i immediateely put my movie back in, as i needed to watch jodi foster likk bad guys just to get the immages of fantasia out of my head...too bad you missed it linda...but still glad you are all alright...stay safe...ok all you teachers out there feel free to correct my grammar errors and spelling mistakes...g.

[Virginia]

Wow yeah the weather up here at Ft Hood wasn't much better. Impressive light shows though! But I live ON BASE and the alarm went off almost as soon as the rain started. When you're in your home and you hear an ALARM and the voice saying "Tornado warning is in effect for Ft Hood. Take shelter immedietly." It doesn't bode well with this northern girl! I about crapped myself! I'll hate to be leaving my friends here but I'm REALLY looking forward to moving back to Washington State now! At least wehn we have rain and lightning there's no chance of being swept up in it!

I'm very happy that you guys made it home safe and sound. Who cares about a recap as long as you're safe! Besides, there's always next week!

[ginny]

oops...not jodi foster likk bad guys...but jodi foster kill bad guys...even i caught that one...

[Kerry]

I turned to my husband after Fantasia sang and said "she has a good voice, but I did not understand one single word she said." It was "interesting" to say the least. Here's a You Tube version

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrOETU648JA

And I was so hoping to hear Linda's take on the look on Simon's face. (It shows up at about 2:46 on the video) I couldn't tell if it was more of a shocked "OMG, WTF was that, what have we done?" or a leering "I may have a chance to see a boob pop out any minute now" type of thing.

I too thought her hip gyrations were a little much. And that hair! Undescribable. Poor Ryan didn't even know what to do with the whole performance.

We really, really need to get this whole thing over with. Funny that Fantasia's song was called "Boring". Maybe that should be the song that plays as the elimitated contestant's goodbye video runs this year. Tres boring.

Who wants to lay money that at some point in next week's results show, Ryan says "An the Winner of American Idol 7 is....David." And just leaves it at that, and goes to a commercial. Last name - after the break.

[Karen P.]

Hey Ted - that 60ish woman mayor in Sarasota is our very own beloved LouAnn Palmer - what AI DIDN'T show was her doing a second successful handstand. YOUR mayor should be so cool.

Fantasia was ... astounding.
The rest was unfortunately pretty lame and predictable. I did love the homecoming videos - all three seemed genuinely moved by the huge outpourings of support and love from their hometowns. Three nice people who deserve to go far.

[Frankie]

Okay, while the Fantasia performance didn't exactly appeal to me personally, I have to give her credit for giving the MOST entertaining returning Idol performance ever. It made me tired to watch her.

I actually enjoyed last night's show. The group song/vommercial sucked of course, but the homecoming videos were wonderful all around. At one point a girl in the crowd grabbed David A.'s shirt and tried to keep him from walking (he looked totally freaked out). The Syesha getting a photo opp with the baby was just plain weird.

But my favorite moment were in David Cook's video. He seemed genuinely overwhelmed by the outpouring of support. One of the things he did was to go back to his elementary school and thank his music teacher. So sweet. At the end he said he had gotten to do everything he ever dreamed of doing in his town in ONE day (like throw out a pitch at the Royals game). Very cool.

When the results were read, after Ryan announced David A., David Cook went over and hugged him and congratulated him -- it looked very sincere to me. When David Cook's name was announced, the first thing he did was turn to Syesha and wrap her in a big hug. I love that guy and if a certain person hadn't already claimed dibs on him (you know who you are, Janna), I'd be all over that. Go David Cook!

[Nesee to Ginny]

Snorts coming from PA. Lord, you're a funny woman!

[KittyPimp]

I did get to see some of AI, but it was pre-empted by the weather. Every local channel had the weather on. We all knew who was going home, so I was not missing much.
It was bad, the rain, the hail, the tornado warnings, one station reported that there was a tornado heading for Cedar Park (which is right next to Leander, where Linda is. I am in Cedar Park)!!! Well, no tornado's arrived, but that was fine with me. Kat, was in Austin seeing a play, but the rest of us were home. Our biggest dog, Malachi, was shaking and drooling on our bed, our cat Tigger was under the bed, the baby kittens I am fostering woke up from the storm crying, so I had to feed them. All the other animals (2 dogs and another cat, Boo) were also in the bedroom. It was a sight to see. So AI went on without the Northwest part of Austin watching it, and Syesha still went home. What a surprise :0!

Grateful we are all ok and that AI only has two shows left!

[Sonia in MO]

Ugh... welcome to my world...lol! We live here in southern Missouri, just south of Springfield, and right in good old Tornado Alley - those storms roll right up through Oklahoma straight into my neck of the woods on a weekly basis, it seems. I am not exaggerating when I swear I've spent at least one night a week since January pacing the floor and listening to sirens going off all around us, worried about protecting my two-year-old and two Golden retrievers. (I have a ranch home with no basement) Last Saturday we actually evacuated and I went to my parent's (who have a basement-20 miles away, though) because the storms were so bad - tornados hit due west of us and 14 people died :( Two weeks ago one took down 8 electrical poles about 500 yards from my home - we were without power for 9 hours. I'm so sick of tornados and bad weather and weather sirens and dopplar dire predictions I could just scream. If I could I'd pack up and move in a heartbeat.

And again I missed all but the last 5 minutes of AI last night - just saw enough to see Syesha leave (no surprise there) and catch the two Davids being sent to safety. I wished I'd seen Fantasia though - I'll have to pop over to youtube & check it out :)

[Cheryl]

Glad to hear you and the family are safe. It sounds like the sky gave a better show than Idol.

[Toni]

That weather is one of the reasons I'm heading for California. At least with an earthquake, there's no warning, no time to sit in antisapation of disaster. Call me crazy.

[Kerry to Toni]

Toni: As Queen O' The Hurricanes here in Florida, and floods in a former life, I will call you crazy! :)

I have the opposite opinion - I would much rather know what is coming so I can plan and prepare. And then they'll tell me when it will happen, and how long it will last, and when it will leave. And then it will be over and done (at least for a while). And even then it's bad enough.

But I think I would be permanently paranoid if I lived somewhere where a tornado or earthquake could just "sneak up" on me.

Good luck to you girl!

[Dusk]

Did anyone else think the guy on the balcony's hat looked like a monochrome version of MushMouth? I was wondering if Bill Cosby was in the crowd!

[Margaret in NJ]

Pretty much what they said. Fantasia was a WTF moment. Results predictable. Hopefully Cookie will win out over Puppy in the finals next week.
But did anyone hear Ryan in his conversation with David Cook say he sang "the first time ever I saw your face by CHAKA KHAN"?? Um, er, Ryan...that was Roberta Flack.
Me thinks that God is not happy with the world of late with all these natural disasters. Glad the Sharp clan is safe.

[Gladys in NC]

Wow, I'm in the minority but I actually thought it was a good show tonight. I'm so over Randy but he had on a black shirt with a bunch of flowers in patterns. Paula actually looked pretty and coherent not something we see often. Simon changed things up a bit with a white button down as he does towards the end of the season. We will be treated to the sport coat next week. The hometown videos were good. Syesha didn't have nearly the people there for her as the David's. It was rainy and ugly in Missour and there were people everywhere for Cookie. I just love him all the more after watching his video.

Fantasia was entertaining to say the least. Didn't understand one word of it but everyone is talking about it so I guess it worked. The hair was putrid but I wish everyone would get off the weight thing. She was never thin. Not everyone looks like Carrie Underwood. I, for one, think it's great she feels comfortable enough with herself to wear what she wants. Would I ever wear it? Not on your life but to each her own. And I had to rewind to look at Simon's face again. It was classic!

Big surprise...we're in for a David finale. Should be entertaining. And Kerry, I totally think you are right. We will hear Ryan say that and I'll be ready to punch him as I am every week!

[Shawn - Lakewood CA to Toni]

My uncle lived in Florida and after dealing with Hurricane Andrew (think that was the one), he moved back to California. He hated the lead up to the Hurricane, the evacuations and then going back to see if you still had a home. He said he would rather deal with earthquakes because they don't give you any warning and they are over in a matter of seconds (most of the time) if not minutes. The damage can be assessed and you can move on (hopefully).

I lived in Mississippi and the tornado warnings were frequent. I can live w/o that.

Obviously I feel for the people in China as a 7.9 quake is seriously bad. The damage something like that would cause if it hit So Cal, would be tremendous and who knows how much loss of life. I would hope that the buildings here have been built or retrofitted to withstand something of that magnitude. Our house is anchored to the foundation but my guess is with that size quake, our house would not remain on the foundation despite the anchors.

[Nikki]

Glad you are all safe, Linda.

Yep it was quite a show. I am still snickering over the look on darling Simon's face during the Fantasia number. I like her -- always have -- but this was just a bad song. Very energetic though to say the least.

I was debating on watching since I knew poor Syesha had been handpicked to depart. I like her. I wish her nothing but the best. I think she really has far more to her than she was able to get across. I am not sure though I care too much which David wins. Puppy needs it more, I think. And it seems to me that that is who tptb want to win it so not sure I have to watch at all. Although at the last minute the producers MIGHT actually count the votes. You never know.

Why are they so afraid to put a number of votes up by each name every week? But then, even with that, how do we know they would be truthful? You never see the accountants come out in tuxes with the results like they do on the Oscars.

I guess next week they cut off our crack until next January.

[Ted to Karen P.]

Hey Karen - Congrats to your mayor on her 2nd attempt. She's definitely more limber than my mayor but why she was doing handstands to begin with seems like unusual behavior for a mayor. I guess she was just happy.

[Diane to Linda S.]

Glad that you and the girlies are alright...scary stuff indeed. And as you have probably been able to figure out, you didn't miss much on AI!!

Geez, one more week of AI, no more Survivor...Apprentice over, whatever will I do with myself?? Can you be persuaded to take on So You Think You Can Dance to keep your recapping skills sharp (no pun intended!!) over the summer??!!??

[Mom of 5]

Isn't it amazing what still worked in your house while so much weather tumult was going on around you? I'm glad you all made it back in safe and sound, that you could be informed of what was going on, and that your husband could know you all were safe.

A few thoughts I had from last night (those parts that I didn't FF through) were:

1. Gah, I hate the group songs. FF.
2. Fantasia looked confident and as if she were having lots of fun. Her hair, though, made her look like a she-devil. (Ginny, I didn't think she looked fat--just healthy--but your descriptions of her dancing were high-larious!)
3. On his homecoming footage, David A. was such a sweetie that I wanted to...how did Paula describe it? Squeeze his head off and dangle him from my rear-view mirror?
4. I could feel Syesha's butterflies as she was about to take off in the helicopter -- I LOVE being in the air...
5. I could feel my own insides turn to Jell-O in sympathy for the three contestants at the end. Sometimes, the suspense is just mean. Ryan, get thee to a nunnery!

[Dorothy to Ginny]

Ginny, OMG you crack me up! "Simon looked like someone just shot his puppy" " Onesie from the Layne Bryant collection " You are too funny woman!

[Bobbsey]

Linda, so glad that you and the girls got home safely. And BRAVO to your family for hunkering down and being prepared. As I write this, we are gearing up for a very very hot weekend in southern California. A definite 100 degrees, but it could go higher and this will be for 3-4 consecutive days. Mama mia!!
I pass the Nokia theatre on the way to work in the morning. And I want to add that this morning the traffic was incredibly backed up. They are already making the preparations for the AI finale!!

[justadiversion]

Hey if nothing else Fantasia definitely WOKE US UP last night! I give her that. I thought she was entertaining although my son looked at me afterwards and said, she didn't sing much, did she???!!! Kinda funny but hey, she had energy -- which seems to be missing from this season!

By the way, in reference to the comment about Syesha's dad, when she auditioned she talked at great length about his addiction and how that affected her and I believe they had only recently gotten close. So...while yes it was typical for him to talk so much about it, she had already told it all before so I don't think it embarrasses her.

So can most of us at least try to vote for David Cook next week to have at least a little hope that he could win? Or am I being delirious here?????

[Tina in WI]

I think most of what I would have said has been said already, but I actually thought that the Ford Vommercial was not terrible last night, one of the better ones in fact (not that that's saying much...) Of course, after last week's matadors anything would look good...

[Cindy]

So glad you and the girls are safe and in one piece today.

Everyone here has pretty much hit on the highlights (and lowlights!) of the show. No surprise here - I'm highly disappointed Syesha is gone. Hopefully she'll have a nice career awaiting her.

[RBlues]

You guys forgot the most important detail . . . Simon was wearing a white dress shirt! He looked great IMO. I may be wrong but didn't Ryan say that SIMON needed to "button-up, this is a family show"? I thought it was stupid (rather than funny) considering Paula's "puppies" were all but falling out of her get-up.

[RBlues]

Sorry Gladys, you did mention Simon's attire (I missed the whole last page of posts) and yes you are correct, we will be treated to him in a suit next week--he sure clean-up well doesn't he?

[RBlues]

Oops! Obviously meant "cleans-up" well!