Happy Others' Day

No, I didn't fat finger the title.  That's not a typo.

I was just sitting here enjoying the morning silence and it came to me.

Today is Mother's Day.  But as a mother, I am up today before everyone else, making sure that all is in readiness for another busy day filled with their activities, obligations, and commitments.

Yes, like all days, this mother's day is an others' day.

And that's fine by me.

My day won't be spent being feted, massaged, revered, pampered, or spoiled.  Rather, it will be spent in transit, juggling, cheering, and nursing (in the non engorged mammary sense of the word).

Today is about more soccer - Kendall's team is in the middle of a play-off tournament, heading to the semi finals at 11am.  They endured and triumphed in three grueling games yesterday, ending the night in the top spot. 

Carson, ever the trooper, is 2/3 of the way through her performances of The Wiz.  Friday was opening night, getting to bed late, yet she did not complain when Saturday came way too fast and she had to be up and moving at 6am for a soccer game, then a private goalie lesson.  She didn't grouse when Rudy then carted her out to Kendall's tournament to catch game #2, sitting under an umbrella in the 95 degree heat, eating a snow cone, and shouting encouragement to Ken and her team mates (who incidentally let Carson train with them each week.  Nice bunch of 14/15 year olds.)  She slept in the car on the way home after the second game, got home complaining her head hurt - gave her some Motrin - lots to drink, then she was back in the van with a smile to head to last night's performance (which I attended and LOVED - some of her soccer team mates even came to watch).

When the actors all came out to greet the crowd when it was over, her friends and I found Carson in the throng, and as only a mom can do with a mere glance, I knew.  Something was amiss in Carsonland.

She hugged me, whispered she felt really sick (bore out by the scorching sensation when I put my lips to her forehead), but then put a smile on her face for her team mates and all the people who wanted to congratulate her, hug her, even get her autograph.

Then she disappeared.  POOF.  Like Culley did after the pageant, Carson vanished.

I looked, and looked some more.  After ten minutes, I saw her quietly emerge from backstage holding her bouquet of flowers.  The throng was still joyously celebrating the show, but she whispered to me, "Please take me home."

Home and a thermometer verified that this little girl had muddled through dancing, hot costumes, and hours from make-up call to curtain call - with a 103 fever.

She ended the evening not out reveling with the cast , crew and parents who were heading to Chilis to get a late night snack, but lying on the couch, flanked by Mom and Dad feeding her ice cream, and rewetting the cool cloth on her head.

Throughout the night, Rudy and I took turns checking on her, feeling her warm forehead, snuggling.

She is fast asleep right now, cooler than a few hours ago, her little worn out body recharging to get through one last performance this afternoon.

She is one of my others.  One of the people in this world who give me the honor of wearing the title Mother.  And doing for her, caring for her, losing sleep over her - that's what this job is about.

It's also about giving up the Hallmark notion of Mother's Day to go sit in the hot sun again and cheer Kendall on today. 

And it's about giving up Mother's Day to Culley who gave up yesterday - her 16th birthday - to the demands of soccer, theater, and her own job reffing.

Tonight we will celebrate my first baby - the one who was born on Mother's Day 16 years ago.  We will congratulate Kendall on a skillfully played tournament - regardless of the outcome of today's semi-final, and possible final.  We will raise our glasses to Carson on a middle school musical which surpassed any I have ever endured atttended.  And we will enjoy one last night with Rudy before he heads back to Seattle in the morning.

I don't need a heart shaped pendant.  I don't want flowers, chocolate, or gift certificates to the spa.

I have all the gifts I could ever want in this world.

You moms all know what I mean.

Happy Others' Day.

Comments

[ginny]

happy birthday kendall...and happy mothers day to you linda...you certainly sound like the mother i wish i had had...and tho i feel this way...happy mothers day mom...youll never know exactly how much i miss you...no it wasnt all good...but mom is mom and i am less for not having her with me now...23 years gone and it feels like yesterday...and it feels like an eterinty...my gratititude and heartfelt love to all moms who read here...you are what makes life worth living...you are the back bone of society...you are the warm hearts we all seek and the soft hands that hold us when we feel bad...heres to all moms and dads that have given us life...g.

[Alison in DC]

Happy Mother's Day everyone!

Please keep praying for my mom as she is spending this Mother's Day in the hospital. She is still not really responsive. The doctors are going to be running more tests tomorrow and then we'll know what needs to be done. Again, please pray for her. She needs it so badly. Thank you.

[Linda Sharp to Alison]

I'll be cheering for Kendall from the sidelines, and cheering for your Mom in my heart. My prayers are with you.

[ginny]

happy mothers day to alison's mom and comforting thoughts to alison herself...in my thoughts always now...g.

[Debbie0116 to Alison]

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your mom.

[Amy in CT]

Alison, you and your Mom are in my thoughts and prayers.

Happy Birthday Culley!

Congratulations Kendall!

Congratulations and feel better Carson!

To you, Linda, Happy Mother's and Others' Day. Thank you for all you do and share everyday.

And finally, to all the Mothers of the DGMS blogmunity...Happy Mother's Day! Hope you are all able to enjoy a serene day.

PS..to Audreyf..I hope your day doesn't include any FA *grin*

[justadiversion]

Linda, you made me cry with your post. Your thoughts on your day and your love for your kids is what I like about you -- in my opinion (LOL), you totally get what motherhood is all about. I took my husband to work at 8 a.m. this morning to come home to my 13-year old having straightened up the living room, playing "our" song ("I Love" by Tom T. Hall -- dating myself!), with a homemade card on the table, and having a cup of coffee ready for me. Much more priceless than anything she could have bought for me!

Happy Mother's Day to all moms here on the blog and prayers for all those who need encouragement and good wishes this day.

[Leigh in FL]

I know Amy already said all this, so I will say it in reverse. ;)

Happy Mother's Day to this wonderful Blogmunity and their mothers as well.

Happy Mother's and Other's Day to you, Linda.

Bravo to Carson and here's hoping you feel better!

Crongrats and Good Luck to Kendall!

Happy Sweet Sixteen Culley!

And Blessings to you, Rudy, for having such a wonderful family and being lucky enough to be able to spend this wonderful weekend with them.

Have a great day everyone!

[Jean to All]

Happy Mothers Day to all of the Mom's out there and most especially to Alison in DC to your Mother who will continue to be in my thoughts and prayers! Linda you Rock! You are a Mom very much like myself and it comes through in all of your posts. Have a wonderful day and Happy Birthday Culley, Carson feel better soon and good luck Kendall. Rudy, enjoy your time with your beautiful family.

[Kitty Pimp]

Happy Mother's and Other's Day to all! Alison your mother is in my prayers. To everyone who still has their mother, count your blessings. And to those who have lost theirs, your mother is still with you and always will be.

I received two beautiful hand made cards from my girls, they are the best gifts I could have gotten! Things have been difficult in our house lately, grown-up stuff, and the girls have wonderful. I am blessed to have such thoughtful daughters. It will be a great Mother's Day, for just the 3 of us!

[Crystal]

Happy Mothers Day all of you. Linda, I am not a mother and much too young to be one (I'm 24) but the post was beautiful and really brought tears to my eyes.

[Ame in upstate NY]

In November 1991, I went to my doctor because my ulcers were acting up. Imagine my horror when he informed me I was about 7 months pregnant and best get some help. (Yes I still had my monthly every month - it's not so uncommom as I found out). 2 months later, I had a little girl and my world turned upside down. My own mother had left me at age 12, and I had no idea what to do!!!! I hated kids!! But you know, every single day, it got easier and easier......now she's 16 and she could be a Sharp girl - golden, gorgeous, talented, smart......my life would have been radically different if I waas given advance warning on my daughter, but that wasn't in the plan. Happy Mother's day to everyone!!!

[aliauthor]

awww, poor Carson. Happy mothers day, linda, and everyone else, this was a lovely post. Annie, that is an incredible story! And Alison, I'm praying for your mom. I couldn't imagine life without my mom, as much as she badgers me and annoys me- yes, mom, I'm coming, I just have to finish typing this...

On another note, I LOVE 'The Wiz'. Tell Carson to break a leg and Culley, too, with whatever theatre venture she is taking next. I'd stay longer, but I have to prepare for two auditions, gripe about my monologue resources, and write an essay on Lenin. In that order.

[Lori in Texas]

Happy Mothers Day to everyone! I hope yours was every bit as good as mine. Mine was pretty darned wonderful...

[Jennifer]

Happy Mother's Day to ALL!!!!!

Happy Sweet 16, Culley, growing up so fast!! Before we know it your mom will be telling us about you graduating!

Kendall, you go girl! No matter how your team places you are amazing for getting there!

Carson, your dedication is what makes an artist great. Hold your head up high and perform your heart out...then get thee in bed and sleep!!!!

[audreyf]

Happy "Others" Day to all! Linda, you are an inspiration even though I am sort of in the same camp as far as running kids around...etc. It has been a fairly low-key day today. My husband doesn't cook, but he did take orders and picked up McDonald's breakfast for everyone this morning--WOO HOO! A FREE HOUR FOR MOM! And we will go to dinner later--WOO HOO NO DINNER DISHES! I mean, c'mon, how much better does it get than that? I did get some beautifully made cards from my kids and they managed to stay out of one another's hair today, so I have had a fairly pleasant day. I miss my mom a great deal, but when I see how good my kids really are, it makes me know how good a job she did with me.

[audreyftoAmy]

Amy, no FA today, but I did have to change Kara's clothes before we went out because she waited too long to go to the bathroom--just COULD NOT break away from that riveting episode of the Backyardigans! Hope you had a good one!

[audreyftoanyone]

To anyone who wants to know what FA is, it is "Fresh Ass". I was commenting to the chat room the other night that I had to go and give my 3yo a bath because she smelled like fresh ass--Amy thought that was hysterical. Anybody who has a 3yo knows that is what happens when they go to the bathroom BY THEMSELVES and don't quite get the wipe-thing down!

[Kathy in FL]

Happy Mother's Day to all! Hope you all had a terrific weekend.

[Anke]

Happy Mother's Day to all of the Mom's here - you all have one of the two most important jobs in the world (Dad is the other).

Happy Birthday, Culley!

Congrats to Kendall and Carson!

[Marsha (at JustMe1947)]

I also have an 'other's day' baby, but mine was born 39 years ago today! Happy "M"other's Day Linda, because if anyone deserves the real deal title, it is you, just because you know it is all about others!

[ginny]

oh crap its culleys birthday...it was early...and i dont see good till my coffee kicks in...anyway...happy birthday a bit late culley...ohhh ide use anything as an excuse...g

[Paul Klemme]

Thank you so much for the perspective. Obviously I'm not a mother, but I had a mother once (long since gone to her reward) and this essay put a spring in my step, a smile on my face, a twinkle in my eye, and yes, a lump in my throat. Your children are so blessed, and we "lurkers" are blessed to have a column like yours to come to when life gets a little weird so we can regain some grounding. Well done!

[Linda L]

Loved your post Linda! Yesterday I celebrated "Other's Day" with my husband, oldest daughter Andrea, son-in-law Mike and grandson Brandon. It was wonderful! My daughter still get's what I love the most....handmade cards. She's turning 30 this year and knows how to turn me to mush with a piece of construction paper and a pack of crayolas! We all made dinner together.....it was the greatest!!!!!!
Is there an update on Alison's mother?
Alison, your mother is in my prayers.

[Cheryl S]

Happy (Late) Mothers Day to all! I had my first "official" Mother's Day yesterday and it was perfect!I know eventually my days will turn into "Other's" but that's okay. Nothing on this earth makes me happier than being "Mom" to my two stepdaughters and dreaming about what this little guy inside me is going to be like!
Happy Birthday to Culley and congrats to Kendall and Carson (and I hope your feeling better!)
Alison, you and your mother are in my prayers.

[Alison in DC (Update on Mom)]

Hi all... Thought I would give you an update on my mom. She's been opening her eyes the last few days. She'll nod her head when we ask her questions, the nurses saw her eyes open and told her to blink twice if she understood them and she did! She gave my cousin a slight wave and even gave the cardiologist a thumbs up! The doctors are getting more optimistic. They are going to start weaning her off the ventilator tomorrow. It's a slow recovery but she can take all the time she needs. We are here for her. Please keep her in your prayers. It appears to be working! Thank you!

[Linda Sharp to Alison]

That is certainly wonderful news to wake up to. Keeping you all in my thoughts and prayers...

[Anke to Alison]

Alison - I'm so glad to hear your Mom is improving - know exactly how you feel because my Dad is in CCICU, on a ventilator and responding the same as your Mom. He was diagnosed with lung cancer a couple of months ago, had surgery to remove the lower lobe of his right lung, and then developed pneumonia. A week ago last Wednesday, his doctor told my Mom to go ahead and call in the family because he didn't think that Dad was going to make it. My Dad being the stubborn man that he is, showed improvement by the next morning and has been slowly improving daily, although there have been a few minor setbacks. He is now completely aware of what's going on, responds to questions with either a nod or a shake of his head, and the docs are trying to wean him off the ventilator. He is so terribly frustrated by that tube in his throat. I'm sure once it's out, he will continue to improve at a faster pace. One thing I've learned through this process is to expect small setbacks. That way if they do happen, it's a little easier to deal with. If they don't, then there is reason to celebrate. I'm telling you about all this because I wanted you to know that you're not alone - although you know that from all the comments here. But if you need someone to talk to, I'm here for you. If you would like my email address - I'll ask Linda to give it to you if you contact her. All the best to you and your Mom.