FantasUH?

Well, spurred on by the comments, I headed to YouTube and found Ms Thang's performance of Bore ME (Yawn) from last night's Idol.

And if Simon was wearing an expression of WTF?!?, mine most certainly is GTFO.

From the hair dyed the color of strawberry Kool-aid (or like Leigh in FL said - it looked like the Doppler radar of my storm had been superimposed over her head), to the sausage casing jumpsuit (to borrow a line from Steel Magnolias - "It looks like two pigs, fightin' under a blanket."), to the unintelligible (unintelligent?) lyrics, to the trio of bodacious (read: scantily clad) back up singers / dancers, it was a fierce, hot mess of a performance.

The one quick shot of Puppy made me think he may have peed his pants a bit in fear.

And Simon?  Well, he looked like he had just been presented with a platter of steaming hot goat poo, sauteed horse rectum, and a fork. 

I don't think I have ever seen him look so incredulous and disgusted, not even in the worst of audition rounds.  And when you can best THIS, you know you've jumped the shark and shit the bed in terms of shock value:

In case you missed it last night, too, here it is, in all its ... um ... glory?

Comments

[Anke]

OMG - I had forgotten about her - yeah, Fantasia made her look good!

[Leigh in FL]

BWAHAHAHAHAHA...coffee...nose...ouch...BWAHAHAHAHA

[ChickyChick (Kathy)]

So glad you and the girls are safe and sound - sounded like a frightful night.

I actually liked the show last night except for the Vommercial, the Group Song, Fantasia's "Song", the "Gosh", the look of utter surprise on Puppy Crapper's face, the Bit with Cookies Brother, and the Boob shot of Paula...

...wait, that was most of the show...nevermind.

[Kelly in PA]

Fantasia was a trainwreck! WTF was up with the funky pink hair? Never was a fan of her and now, even more so not one. Glad you are all safe. What a mess.

[Jamie in WI to linda S.]

THIS, you know you've jumped the shark and shit the bed in terms of shock value:

OMG - I damn near choked when I read that!

When we were watching last night, I asked my husband if Bozo was now doing hair for the stars! Seriously - it was more than a hot mess - it was a f*cking joke. She looked like Homey the clown!

Glad you made it through the storms ok - I hate bad storms & probably would have been joining Oreo for the carpet fudging!

Back in January we had a freak tornado come through my area - and as I was driving home from work to get my daughter (the warnings & watches were all over the place) the sky was as black as night (at 4:30 in the afternoon)- and I was scared sh*tless driving as fast as I could to pick her up from her preschool. When I got there they had the childdren in the center classroom that had no wondows, with blankets over their heads. When I called her name & she popped up from the blanket, her face was white with terror & she literally flew up into my arms. I have never seen such relief on her face in my life. I was relieved to have her safe with me. We went home & our local news station had a tornado headed right for our town. The sirens were going off & we headed down to our basement. The storm passed & all was ok - thankfully, but it just shows - it doesnt matter what month - or where you are - when Mother Nature is PMSing - watch out!!

[audreyf]

My sister said Fantasia is the poster child for the "Hot Ghetto Mess" website! Too funny!

[Marc AKA Slumrville]

Call me crazy, but the show last night wasn't half bad (for an hour long results show without any possibility of suspence).

Fantasia's performance was the most entertaining trainwreck I've seen in a while. We had a BLAST bashing it, and her, in the chat room!!! What an amazing cautionary tale to Archie, Cookie, and Syesha! WHAT NOT TO BECOME AFTER YOUR RUN ON AI!!!

The contestants' trips home were interesting. I am seriously concerned for David A.'s sanity. The boy looks like he's on the verge of a nervous breakdown! And I don't think what happens next week matters, because either result could send him over the edge. Does AI have a psychiatrist on staff?

Syesha had no chance, whatsoever, of advancing, so it was nice to see her revel in the attention. She deserves it, and I hope she can translate her third place finish into a successful career.

And David Cook.... what can I say?!?! First of all, after hearing how he auditioned, it's so clear that he was destined to win from the very beginning. Second, he had the largest hometown crowd (I thought), and the most extensive publicity tour, complete with the trip to honor his elementary school music teacher, which was nothing short of heartwarming. Finally, he is the most polished, poised, gracious, and talented of all the contestants this season. I don't see myself voting for anyone else.

FYI - Is was decided last night that DGMS Recrappers Anonymous will live on after next week, as we have adopted SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE? as our summer show of choice. All are invited to partake in the witty, intellectual, sophomoric, playful, hilarious, and (sometimes) downright raunchy conversations.

LOVE LIVE DGMS!

[Susan]

Uhhh, Fantasia was beyond horrible. I cannot understand how someone can like that.
Syesha has WAY more talent than F could even think about in my opinion!

[Tiffany]

Fantasia was truly -- truly -- a hot mess last night, but she didn't look worse than Madame Big Bird. Moreover, she certainly hasn't jumped the shark. She is currently slated to star as Miss Celie in the film adaptation of The Color Purple Musical (and she received such rave reviews for her performance that I frankly can't wait to see her on film (the Lifetime movie fiasco notwithstanding -- I'm willing to believe that her time on Broadway may have helped her develop some acting skills)). She's back in the studio recording her third album, which is slated for release in December. This past February, she received three Grammy nominations for her second album. One of her songs from the last album, "When I See You," spent 8 weeks at number one on the Billboard charts. She can definitely be a bit, well, much, but there are plenty of us out here who love her, and for every one of her exceedingly foolish performances (and, like Honest Abe, I cannot tell a lie -- I've seen more than one), she has many more that are quite wonderful. Fantasia hasn't even arrived at the waterpark, let alone strapped on her jet skis, and if a shark is in her future, the little critter hasn't been born yet. The woman is a brilliant talent; I just wish that good sense and good taste wouldn't leave her stranded by the side of the road as often as they do.

But seriously, let's think about last night's hot mess from a different perspective: was it not so awful that it traveled halfway around the world and came back to awesome??? :-) Was Simon's facial expression not the best thing you've seen all season? So many of us were bitching yesterday about how bored we were. Well, Madame Barrino didn't me "Bore Me (Yawn)" last night! I twitched, I twittered, I covered my eyes, I muted the tv, I marveled at the ass roll that preceded the shot of Simon's face (I've been working on that damned move in salsa class for MONTHS, and I STILL don't do it as well as SHE did, lol! (and yeah, she did it well -- if she did that move while dancing salsa, she'd bring the mother-effing house down!)), I texted my friend about the hot tranny mess before me (we have a pact -- I warn her when craziness of ANY kind is afoot!), and I screamed to the heavens, "Why does she test me, Lord? I love her dearly, so really, WHY?????" But I definitely wasn't bored! :-)

[Tiffany]

Susan -- I would respectfully disagree with your comparison between Syesha and Fantasia, but everyone is entitled to his or her own opinion. :-) (And I'm seriously not saying that in a bitchy way, because at the end of the day, this is a conversation about American Idol, for goodness' sakes, lol!)

I'm really just responding because I love Fantasia to pieces, and think that she is absolutely amazing. A lot of people dislike her voice, and that's fine. A lot of people dislike the way she carries herself. That's fine, too. But I will say this: Syesha isn't even in Fantasia's league. Fantasia can make a pure ass of herself (like she did last night), but Syesha doesn't have 1/20th of the artistry or interpretive skill that Fantasia possesses when she actually decides that she's going to try. I mean, Syesha wouldn't have been half as moving if she had sung the little piece of "Amazing Grace" that Fantasia sang while she and Eliot were in Africa (during Idol Gives Back), and that's because Syesha just doesn't have *it.* She's beautiful and talented, but I bet you donuts to dollars that we'll never hear from her again. And just to drive the point home, take yourself back to the night when Syesha sang Fantasia's coronation song, "I Believe." Syesha sang it very prettily, but if she had sung it that way against Diana DeGarmo, Diana probably would have won. Fantasia is the only person on the planet who can turn that horrid piece of tripe into an actual song. I'll never forget the moment when she sank down onto one knee, looked up into the rafters, and with that tearful break in her voice, sang, "Finally -- finally -- I believe." And I believed right along with her.

I'll get off of my soapbox now! It's not my intention to try to change anyone's mind -- I just believe in my girl and will defend the wicked depth and breadth of her talent, her missteps notwithstanding.

[Toni]

Dang, I missed it. I'll be running over to YouTube now.

[Louis in Fl]

WOW!! There are some passionate people here. Concerning Fantasia, I wonder if (suspicious person that I am ) that "man(woman) overboard" performance wasn't intended to be a some kind of spoof of the judges evaluations of AI contestants as being "too safe" or "just OK for me." It certainly got everyone's attention, especially Simon's. I wish I had that image of him to hang on the wall! Priceless!!

[Sonia in MO]

Well, the kind of music that Fantasia performed isn't my cup of tea on a daily basis (I'm more the Carrie Underwood/Kelly Clarkson kind of fan) but I actually thought she was pretty entertaining, red hair and all :) Although I did not see the show (I watched her performance on youtube)I can imagine it spiced things up a bit! And no, I would not go to see her in concert, but I'd watch her on what has become a pretty boring results show :) She woke up everyone up, that's for sure :)

[Melissa169a]

Fantasia was not boring, and she certainly caused comment, and showed us how boring this season has been. Love her, last night not so much, say what you will, but she is alive!

[Renee]

I honestly thought Dennis Rodman had taken the stage. What was she thinking? Horrible and a waste of time, 30 minutes last night would have been more than enough

[ginny]

ok color me dumb...but what does "jump the shark" mean???...thank you very much...g.

[Ginger to Ginny]

Many years ago there was an episode of Happy Days where Fonzie was waterskiing and jumped over a shark. It's been recognized as the moment when the show lost all credibility. It's now a standard term in Hollywood for a show that's been on too long - or run out of storyline ideas.
HTH

[Bobbsey]

TIffany, I am with you GURL! When Fantasia took the stage - SHE TOOK THE STAGE!! All I could do was watch in utter amazement. I have watched the segment twice since and I still don't know if I like the song or not - maybe I have to hear it on the radio. But DANG that girl took control and woke everybody UP!!!

[Joanne]

You know what? I never thought I'd do this but I am going to defend that performance. While she was on stage she owned it. She had the crowd going, and she had more energy in that performance than I've seen from damned near all of the contestants this yr. Love it or hate it you aren't going to forget that performance quickly. Her song really wasn't my taste but she was definitely working it.

[Amy]

At the same time Simon's face showed up, my 12 year old son says "What the frick?" and I said...well, my version was a bit more colorfully worded.

I never knew WTF could be summed up in a single facial expression, but Simon masterfully succeeded.

Still scouring my brain.

[Kris in B'ham]

I FF'd through it because I couldn't understand any of the words and the screaming was very annoying. But I had to watch it anyway today so I could see Simon's expression. Priceless!

[Frankie]

I just listened to the 30 seconds you can get for free on I-tunes. I think the studio version makes a lot more sense. It's not my type of music, but I think it has a cool funky sound. Last night, I think she put so much energy into her performance that it didn't translate very well on TV. But I totally agree that she gave more energy in her performance that we've seen from anyone this year.

[audreyf]

I thought she was speaking in tongues.

[Susanne - NC]

Fantasia did not work the stage, she OWNED that stage last night. No, I didn't understand the words (but that is true with a lot of songs out there), but I was thoroughly entertained by her performance. Her career has also been quite stellar, especially when compared to other AI winners, like Ruben and Taylor. Her multiple grammy's and Broadway run speaks volumes.

[Tina in WI]

I am not a fan of Fantasia's style of music in general so last night didn't really bug me too much - I never thought I would enjoy it. But, I must say that her "Summertime" performance is my favorite performance of all time (and her Amazing Grace during IGB was pretty amazing as well.)

She has amazing talent and power and presence, she just usually choses to use it in a way I am not fond of! I may have to watch Summertime again to get last night out of my brain...

[Susan in PA]

I just read that AI will cut the results shows to 30 minutes next season to try and recover its lost audience. Can't hurt!

[Tamara]

Fantasia...
I had mixed feelings.
She looked HORRIBLE.

The song was interesting. I kept going back and forth "Do I like this or Dont I?"
But what I noticed was that I did NOT FF my DVR over it, so it kept me at least interested.

One thing that I did notice was that her Backup Singers/Dancers did most of the song.
Fantasia gave a couple of Oohhs and Aaahs and Yeahs and Uhhs, but the main melody of the song was done by the Back Ups or Fantasia along as one of the Back Ups.
She definitely did not seem like the lead singer (except for her appearance)

Another thing about Fantasia, Shes the only Idol winner (or even Idol 2nd place) who really has no class.
I know her background is a lot different from alot of the other Idols, but to me, she just exudes classlessness and grossness,
(if those are even words?)

She is living in a totally different world from where she came from now, yet she has never risen to the occasion and become a lady.
I think thats also part of what bugs me about her.

[PETE.]

Fantasia reminds me of the women in the Wal-Mart check-out lines that I try to distance myself from. Sounds like them too. Her performance was a bit of a mess. Only her most avid fans will be looking to buy tickets for her next appearance, I think.

[Linda L]

I think that Fantasia once again proved that she certainly is the entertainer! I'm glad she looked funky! Everyone complained all year about this show being boring.....well, Fantasia changed that!
Linda, I'm glad all is well.

[Valerie]

All I can say is the guy up in the rafters who, um, sang? just needed to cut two holes in his cap to look out of and he would of been Dumb Donald from the Fat Albert Show.

[Linda L to Valerie]

OMG! I was thinking the same thing but I couldn't remember the character's name.

[alexx]

Fantasia is the reason I started watching AI in the first place. I was channel surfing one night, saw Fantasia sing during Hollywood week, turned to my daughter and said "That girl's gonna win." Watched the rest of the season to see if my prediction came true, and have been hooked ever since. Her performance of Summertime was truly moving. She is such a wonderful singer.

Last night's performance didn't do a thing for me. She didn't sing, the backup singers did. I was put off by the whole thing, but after reading the comments I have to agree with those of you who said "At least it was interesting!" It was that. All I kept thinking the whole time she was on stage was "I wonder what the judges would say about this performance!" OMG I would given a lot to hear what Randy, Paula and Simon would have said!

[Lou]

After all the warmed over pablum we had to put up with this season I thought Fantasia gave a great performance. Maybe I couldn't understand any of the lyrics and she looked a little rough but it was entertaining which is more than I can say about 90% of this season.

[NH Diane to Tiffany]

Girl, you are in the zone today with your posts. They are molten hot lava bombs!

[Tiffany]

NH Diane -- Ha! You are too funny! That made me howl with laughter! (and my poor little sleeping kitten was so shocked, he tumbled off the arm of the couch and fell into my lap, lol!)

[Tiffany]

Oh, and I meant to add thank you for the compliment! :-)

[Cheryl]

While Fantasia was performing after I said WTF - I had to go to the bathroom to up chuck - how disgusting - the hair was disgusting and the performance no better - the fricken screaming really but me on the edge.