American Idol Results Recap, Wednesday, May 22: The DavidC Code: Nice Guys Finish First (and second)

Another Idol's done;
The tour will hit the road.

Time sucked away from us;
but TIVO let us Fast Fo'd.

We watched the "best" of the rest
sometimes we cried..

Puppy's not polished
but those lessons come in time.

Cook is something unpredictable
he delivered every night.
I think he's had the time of his life..

We watched the vommercials
and Group Songs blew our minds.

To hell with rhythm
And Kristi could not keep time.

Tattoos on Carly
but her hubs beat her by a mile.

For what it's worth,
Eze Mac, he made me smile.

Jeff A he was despicable
was banished out of sight.
So little Dave could have the time of his life.

MYchael Johns was just plain lickable
in his JEANS so tight
but I have a husband, and he has a wife...

Yes, Idol may have been predictable
but as it ends tonight.
Thanks for what it's added to our lives.

And yes, I do admit this silly, lightweight, frivolous show does add to our lives.

In a world where children are starving, wars are being fought, genocide is alive (talk about irony) and well, and Mother Nature's fury has humbled us all of late, American Idol, for all its faults, foibles, faux pas', and fumbles, provides a retreat, a haven, a few hours in our week when we can lighten up.

For that, I am appreciative.

But, as tonight promises two hours of "lightening up" - an aural Bataan Death March of guest stars, group numbers, pointless videos, Vommercials, and strolls down Mammory Lane (you know Paula will have the headlights set to bright), how about we get this recap started?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

With last night’s punchdrunk boxing theme behind us, the show kicked off with a spotlight illuminating the white clad figures of Archuangel and David C, Patron Saint of Horny Women. As the camera circled around them, Ryan could be heard speaking of "the closest competition" Idol has ever seen.

He waxed crapsodic about "two ordinary people achieving the extraordinary." Then he asked, "What does it look like when the #1 show in the country reaches its critical mass?"

Cue the lights, and the 7,000 screaming fans packed into the Nokia because THIS. IS. AMERICAN. IDOL. AND. THEY. GOT. TICKETS. AND. YOU. DIDN’T.

One more graphic trip down the neon jetway. One more tab of "E" slipped to the Girlbot by the Boybot, and one more trip down the center stairs for Ryan, again decked out in a three piece suit, ready to greet the throng.

Well, we certainly did it up right in terms of votes last night. According to the accounting firm of Seacrest & Lythgoe, "If every single person in Canada, Spain, Ireland, and Australia voted last night, it still would not have matched what you did."

Over 97,500,000 votes called and texted in. (Way to go Shawn!) That obliterated the former record for AI voting by over 23 million.

And it breaks down this way: David got 56% of the vote. David got 44% of the vote.

Wow, and I thought we were going to have to wait another two hours for the results!

Oh ... wait...

A hello to the judges revealed Randy either dressed by the Coke Brothers, or channeling the Four Tops in his bright red with white accents blazer, neck scarf (how very Austin Powers, baybay), and a pocket tablecloth.

Paula didn’t disappoint with her hair piled high, and her cleavage piled low in a spaghetti strap red gown.

Simon, who appeared to be caught like a deer in Paula’s headlights as he was introduced, stuck with last night’s ensemble of chest hair, a white shirt, and a black blazer.

Ryan then gave a shout out to the hosts in the contestants' hometowns, live on the video screens. Mikalah Gordon (season 4), all grown up in a very form fitting gold lame’ number, her hair long and sleek, was holding down the fort in Kansas City, Missouri where the message was "DAVID COOK ROCKS!" (Props to Gordon – very poised and articulate, especially considering the deafening roar she was having to talk over).

Matt Rogers (season 3) was enjoying the "ultimate pep rally" in Salt Lake City, Utah where every girl with blond hair was apparently required to turn out. (Did you know he is the host of Really Big Things on The Discovery Channel?)

Back in the Nokia, Ryan intro’d the first GROUP SONG, made so much more interesting by the absence of the Idol Tabernacle Choir, and the addition of the So You Think You Can Dance stars for this season.

While the Top 12 finalists concentrated on the side to side shuffle, and swinging their pendulum-like left arm in time to Get Ready, the SYTYCD crew worked the side stages with tight moves, exciting choreography.

The kids actually sounded pretty great on this number - good for them. All decked out in white, did you catch that Syesha was the only female to opt for the hot pants, while Amanda, Brooke, Rami, Carly, and Kristi kept their gams under wraps?

The stage ignited on the final note, left arms were frozen in the air, and off we went to our first break...

We returned to David C opening the show back up with Hero, looking hot in JEANS, a gray shirt, and black leather jacket. He was quickly joined by Puppy, dressed in a gray button UP and were those black leather pants?!? If not, they sure were shiny.

The song moved on and Big D owned it. It only served to highlight their main difference. Puppy may have a beautiful soul, but David has SOUL.

Ryan then joined the guys to intro the most blatant pimping since, well, you know...

Under the guise of introducing the "spiritual advisor" for the show, it was all a big movie promo for Mike Myers June 20 release, The Love Guru. In it, he plays Guru Pitka, who is essentially Austin Powers in a sherwani.

The upshot, both Davids got to see an exclusive private screening of the film, then they got to "meet" with Guru Pitka. This is where things got a little long, and for young David, a little wrong.

They walked in to find Pitka playing Sitar Hero (the best joke of the whole gag aside from his trademark greeting of ‘Mariska Hargitay’). His advice to older David? "It’s not the 90s ... You’re on TV for God’s sake, SHAVE."

For younger David? "You’re so young and yet soon you’ll have huge success, also soon you’ll have hair in weird and wonderful places. Don’t tug at it. You might make a Boom Boom in your Pull-ups."

Cut to David Cook looking visibly uncomfortable for his young friend. And to Puppy who looked mortified at the masturbation reference.

Note to Nigel. That was just wrong in so many ways. I may not prefer the kid on my iPod, but as a parent? Someone needs to take you and the production crew out behind the woodshed and do a little beating – and not the Boom Boom kind.

The bit got even longer when back on stage, Myers, dressed as Pitka navigated out on a pillow designed by the Scooter Store’s India outpost.

Words to the judges...

Randy, "You are my dawg."

Paula: "I love you."

Simon: "I love you even more."

His predictions for the night? AI will be won by a "USA citizen" and will be named "David."

Oh, and that he would "Shamelessly promote The Love Guru opening June 20."

After he left, Ryan tried to drive the motorized pillow and damn near ran off the stage. THAT was funny.

He then welcomed back Syesha to sing Waiting For You. She looked amazing in her pewter criss cross dress – she has to have been the best dressed contestant EVER.

As she sang, she was quickly joined by special guest Seal. They grooved together, and she was totally comfortable performing with such a major star. She looked happy and comfortable singing with him, but don’t worry, Frau Klum, Syesha is happily engaged, and well, you did go on national TV and tell Oprah he is hung like a bull. What guy would give up a Victoria’s Secret model who publicly praises his ability to fill out some bike shorts?

AFTER. THE. BREAK, we came back to Ryan introducing Jason Castro and His Stool, back to reprise Hallelujah.

OK – I know I slammed do-overs last night, but I’ll take this one. With the pressure off, free to just sing, he totally enjoyed the moment, and I think this may have been even better than the first time around. Loved it – even that final breathy note.

As he sauntered off, the big screen filled with a Ford Vommercial that didn’t make me want to revisit my dinner. Set to Let The Good Times Roll, it was simply a montage of snips and clips, goofs, outtakes, and photo sessions of all the finalists. Lots of laughs, but the best moment was David C emerging onto the set from a car in his lime green matador get-up. The expression on his face said EVERYTHING.

Back on stage, Ryan was joined by the two finalists who both seemed completely surprised when he handed them the keys to their new Ford Escape Hybrids. Haven’t they ever seen this show? (Makes those green satin bull fighter pants worth it, huh David?)

Things moved on to the six female finalists doing a Donna Summer medley, starting with She Works Hard For The Money. The girls were dressed in all manner of red satins, dresses, pants, sequins, fringe. The only thing I truly hated was Carly’s choice of black hose with her red dress.

Did anyone else think Amanda was phoning it in? In fact, she looked pissed the whole time, and slurred really badly.

As the SYTYCD dudes freestyled, the girls welcomed Donna Summer to the stage to sing her new song Stamp Your Feet. Donna’s still got it. She looked beautiful in a black suit with a white sparkly shirt underneath, and sounded even better. Still strong, still sassy.

The girls were pretty solid on back-up, but once again, the dancers stole the show. How does one spin on their head without snapping their neck like a twig?

They finally segued into Last Dance, and she handed the blinged out mic to Syesha to duet with her.

The camera then caught Paula up and about, her boys threatening to pop out for one last dance of their own.

Another break and Carly & Mychael came out to sing The Letter. Carly managed to dance around despite the fact she was wearing a dress made of river rocks, Mychael was lowkey in all black. They sounded pretty amazing together – I would hope they duet on the tour.

Moving on... so much time to fill, so little true content to fill it with...

Ryan then intro’d Jimmy Kimmel as the man to describe Simon Cowell as having "nipples the size of pepper mills."

You know, that’s fine for Jimmy’s show at midnight, and my daughters are old enough to have laughed at the remark, but this is a family show, or so they like to keep touting it.

Jimmy wasted time by starting with a not-very-funny joke at Sanjaya’s expense, moved on to comparing Ryan without the tan, white teeth, and "Lee Press-on nails" to Chris Sligh, ripped on Paula for her pre-critique (pretique?) of several weeks back, and referred to Simon’s parents as Rosemary and Satan Cowell.

Maybe I was getting antsy already, but it just wasn’t that funny. Yes, the snips of Simon’s insults set to Pop Goes The Weasel was cute, but come on. If we’re going to talk about pepper grinder nipples, I would have rather Jimmy rolled the video of I’m F*cking Ben Affleck. Now THAT was funny.

It was then time to rock out with the six boys, staring with Summer of ’69, on which David Hernandez was woefully out of tune. Then the two Davids walked down the stairs like the Prom King & King to sing Heaven.

It was at this point that I started shouting for Bryan Adams to appear. And he did, basically sprinting down the stairs with his guitar to make his intro to I Thought I’d Seen Everything.

You know, he’s aging well – a bit scruffily, and perhaps a hint of Botox around the eyes, but not too bad at all. And he still sounds good enough to make my inner 17 year old go weak. Sue me, 1984 was the time of my life.

Coming back from the break, Jordin Sparks promoted, via taped video, the latest addition to the Disney Theme Parks – the American Idol Experience, coming this summer. I could not have cared less about this, because what came next made me feel as excited as being on Space Mountain...

David Cook singing Sharp Dressed Man with ZZ Top!. I know I looked like someone had just goosed me – the smile on my face was THAT big. And just as I was completely soaking in the moment, Culley broke my happy reverie with, "I’m assuming the Amish men serve some purpose?"

Insert huge belly laugh, and the sound of my bones decaying as I immediately felt old.

David was in his element, completely at ease, loving the moment, and not to brag on my own precap, but he was having the time of his life.

The Children of the Corny, not so much. They seemed almost scared, but then again, they probably thought the Amish guys were weird, too.

Loved David’s "duck dance" in the middle of the song. Was anyone else’s face hurting by the end of the song?

After it ended, Ryan checked in with Mikalah in KCMO.  She had corralled David C’s music teacher who shouted, I feel good!" and sent the message to her former charge, "The flowers have faded, but I’ll have these memories forever."

Brooke then got another moment in the sun with her duet partner, Graham Nash, to sing Teach Your Children. They faced each other on stools with their guitars, and she looked lovely in her deep sapphire gown, although would it kill the girl to wear a pair of shoes? Seeing the bottom of her dirty foot killed the look.

The song was nicely done for a waste of time. Sure, a tad boring, but the girl can sing.

During the next commercial break came the BEST. MOMENT. EVER.

David Cook recreating the scene in Risky Business where Tom Cruise became a superstar. Yes, THAT one.

With Old Time Rock n Roll playing, he slid out in an oxford, socks, and underwear, and every move was perfect. Yes, it was a commercial for Guitar Hero, so he was jamming on one, but he nailed everything. The slide, the knee drop, the bounce on the couch, the leg wiggle, even the silhouetted dive seen through the window.

So nice, we had to watch it twice. OK, ok, three times.

Back in the Nokia, the tweenies got their Jonas on. The Jonas Brothers, that is, singing their hit, SOS. I hope little David was watching from the wings – this is how good teen boys can perform. It’s not impossible to be 17 and work a crowd, sell a song, remember a lyric.

If pushed for a favorite, I like Joe, the one in the middle. You know, the Davy Jones working the tambourine. It takes a seriously cute guy to be able to make tight gray satin work.

The corncobs down front perked up at this point.

When they finished, Ryan was standing on the stage with an older woman, kidnapped from the audience – she was still holding her purse like she was waiting for a bus – just so he could make fun of her age vs. the Jonas Brothers. Loved how she wouldn’t give him the satisfaction, saying she would "love" to get one of their CDs.

Now, as no burrito is complete without a heaping helping of bloat inducing grease, Ryan rolled a video of some of the worst Idol auditions.

We lisped up "the frosty mountain" with Jared Wiley; revisited Alexis Cohen and her full body glitter; pleaded with James Lewis to Let My Eardrums Go; and, of course, enjoyed some brotherhood with human parade float, Renaldo Lapuz, who then magically appeared in all his angelic glory to sing his song, I Am Your Brother, accompanied by the USC marching band and cheerleaders who paraded down the aisles and onto the stage.

Anyone else notice that the cheerleaders’ moves weren’t any better than the kids’ in those Group Songs?

Paula somehow managed to get up on stage in that ultra tight gown and as she danced, her boys were threatening to jump ship.

Another break and Ryan introduced One Republic to sing Apologize. I love the song, but admit, I had no idea what the guys looked like. So Kendall pretty much spoke for me, too, when she said of the lead, "He’s white?"

The lead singer, who looked like he was constantly fighting to stay on the piano bench, was then joined on stage by Puppy. As he started singing I TOTALLY saw him look at the teleprompter for the words. UGH.

As the song moved on, I do believe his eye squints beat the voting record. Surely it was more than 97,500,000?

And before you Archulovers get started again – I don’t hate him. I just do not enjoy watching him try to perform. Maybe in a few years, but not now.

Ryan then checked in with Matt in SLC who was flanked by Puppy’s grandfathers. Paternal side, "Wonderful, wonderful opportunity. Very proud of my grandson, very proud of my son." Maternal side (young lady helped translate): the talent comes from "both sides of the family."

Ryan then welcomed Jordan Sparks, who was dressed as a Ferrero Roche truffle. That was one seriously gold party dress.

Singing One Step At A Time, she was in fine voice, and worked the entire stage, even gracing the Corncobs with a few hand touches. I still love her smile, her confidence, and the fact that she isn’t a size Mary Kate.

I was really starting to get bored at this point, so I was very happy to sit back and enjoy a truly stupid, but truly funny splicing together of vintage Gladys Knight footage with "Pips auditioners" from 1972.

Those Pips were none other than Ben Stiller, Jack Black, and Robert Downey, Jr. They were hilarious, working every trademark Pip move, adding some of their own, and using their comic genius to full advantage.

Ben was the goober Pip, Black, the Earnest Pip, Downey, the cool Pip. Their faces were priceless as they backed up Gladys. Along the way, Jack’s pants threatened to come down, then Downey disappeared off stage at which point Black went off to look for him leaving a happy to solo Stiller to work it. Suddenly Black came tumbling back out, his pants around his knees, and Downey reappeared, too.

OK, it was filler, but it was pretty damned funny filler, and you can download the video at iTunes, with the money going to charity.

The next special guest really picked thing up (including the curtains from her dressing room which were caught around her arms). Carrie Underwood, looking amazing in what amounted to a bedazzled cream colored blazer and heels, tore it up on her tune Last Name.

She completely owned that stage. Amazing what a couple years of polish will do in terms of performance and commanding an audience. She deserves everything she has gotten.

Except that camera angle.

Between the shortness of the blazer and the low angle of the camera, we were about to know more than just her Last Name.

Another break and Ryan welcomed back the 12 finalists for one last medley, this time George Michael songs. The girls started out with Faith, and I’ll be the one to say it. Overmyer was over the limit. She was either drunk, stoned, or had been sneaking sips from Paula’s cauldron.

The guys, dressed in dark suits, took over for Father Figure – loved how David Hernandez was gifted with the line about being "bold and naked." They quickly moved into Freedom – forgot how much I enjoyed Eze’s smile and energy – and then, they welcomed George Michael down the stairs.

Paula was up and gyrating for him.

He looked good in a dark suit, aviator shades, and an inner ear monitor which kept trying to become an outer ear monitor. The lights went low and he sang Praying For Time. His voice is as solid as ever, maybe even better as it has matured.

One thing that even the shades could not hide though is that he rivals Puppy for singing in the dark. His eyes were closed the entire time. WWALWD?

He did open them, however, to receive a standing ovation from all three judges and promote his first American tour in 17 years.

One more break, and finale, oops, finally, it was time for the results.

With both Davids beside him, Ryan asked the judges for their final thoughts.

Randy offered that it has been a "great, great season 7." "So glad it’s you two dudes standing there" and "You’re both winners."

Paula (and I rewound to make sure I got this right): "I’m honored and proud of you. It’s the beginning of the start of the destiny of your career."

(I guess Amanda left something in the pot.)

Simon said, "I want to congratulate both of you." Upon rewatching the show last night "it wasn’t so clear cut as we called it, but David, (directed at Cook) I will take this opportunity to apologize. I think I was verging on disrespectful with you." (David looked a tad confused.) "You’re both ‘triers’" And he then finished with, "For the first time ever, I don’t really care who wins. I think you’re both terrific."

And he seemed completely sincere.

And with that, Ryan asked Edward Boddington, the Chairman of Telescope (Vote Management Company) to come out with the verified result. He handed the envelope to Ryan.

The guys had an arm around each other as Ryan spoke, "Ladies and gentlemen, David & David, the winner, by 12 million votes, of American Idol 2008 is....

And then he said the words I truly did not think we would hear.

DAVID COOK.

Yes, the over-the-hill gang managed to beat the Tween Brigade, and crown the most deserving, versatile, interesting, arena ready contestant of this (and most) seasons.

He moved quickly to embrace little David, and then the camera cut to Simon who was positively glowing.

As Ryan began to speak to Cook, David, face in his hands, was completely overwhelmed. And as his tears came, so did mine.

In a world where nice guys do often finish last, here we were, watching a truly nice guy not only finish first, but second, too.

He then managed to address the crowd, "I started this season, much to Simon’s chagrin, as the Word Nerd, and I am totally at a loss for words. This is the ... this is amazing. Thank you."

He fell into his Mom’s embrace and his brother and father circled round as well. David shouted props to the brother, "This is all your fault" because bro dragged him to the Omaha auditions as his support. David decided to audition, too, and look where that one on-a-whim decision brought him.

Ryan then intro’d the winning song, called Time of My Life – and for the record, my Time of YOUR Life precap was written and filed HOURS ago. I love when things work out like they were "meant to be".

With sparks showering from the ceiling, he sang his first single for the world. And while I know it won’t be anything like the album he puts out, it doesn’t matter. This, THIS is the guy who could sing the phone book.

He worked his way out to the stage behind the judges, and as the confetti rained down, embraced Puppy while he finished the song.

And my eyes are wet again just typing about it.

Which brings me back to the last lines of the precap parody:

Yes, Idol may have been predictable
but as it ends tonight.
Thanks for what it's added to our lives.

This show still has the ability to make us care, make us rant, make us cry. And I know that come December, I will be counting down the days till we meet again to laugh at the awful, embrace the new, poke fun at the Paula, and help make another dream, in this screwed up, weary world, come true.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thank you to everyone who has made the blog their home for American Idol recaps the past five months. To the DGMS regulars – your comments about the shows make me laugh more than you know. To those who found their way here for the recaps, I truly hope you’ll stick around in the off season. Like Ryan says, "We’re one big family."

Dear God. Did I just quote Ryan Seacrest? Man, I need some sleep...

Comments

[Shawn - Lakewood CA]

Thanks for the shout out. BUT I must give PROPS to Janna - who texted at least 600 and called in even more. I did what I did for my fellow DGMS addict Janna.

[Sonia in MO]

I totally cried too when David C was announced the winner. I just kept thinking - I hope his brother was there. What a moment for his entire family - and what a moment for a kid from the midwest. I haven't been so excited for a winner since Carrie Underwood :)

And OMG I haven't been so floored by a performance as I was tonight by watching ZZ Top and DC perform - can I just repeat Oh. MY. GAWD!!!! If he had sang with them on Tuesday I daresay I'd have worn off my little index finger voting for him... now THAT was HOT!!! And I don't care if it makes me dated - OMG I'm a closet ZZ fan and used to blare "Sharp-Dressed Man" from my cassette player of my 1978 Ford mustang.... Loved it, loved it, LOVE IT!!!! And the Guitar Hero commercial? I had to look twice to make sure it was DC - but how COOL was that! The person who writes the Ford commercials should sit up and take note :) Almost made me want to go out and buy Guitar Hero and I don't even know what it is...lol!!

Puppy was cute.. and good... but I'm so happy David C won :) I thought it was an excellent, and very unexpected, ending. Thank YOU for the recrap Linda!!

[Rudy to Linda]

Great Job!!!

Ily

[Shawn - Lakewood CA]

And the Guitar Hero commercial? AWESOME. No way Puppy could have pulled that off. Love me some DC.

[Shawn - Lakewood CA to Sonia]

Guitar Hero is a blast...I have all three. BUT Rock Band is a PARTY. You can sing, play drums, guitar and bass.

[Tiffany]

Thanks for another awesome recap, Linda, as well as a season of awesome recaps!

As for the show tonight, I personally think that Randy was dressed like Captain Kangaroo. Major WTF????

My Cookie won! My Cookie won! My Cookie won!

Insofar as the performances were concerned, I actually really enjoyed the "Hero" duet --both sounded great, but when you hear them side by side, it becomes clear that Cookie sounds like a man, and as lovely as Puppy's voice is, it still sounds pretty young to me. Having said that, I thought he gave his best performance of the season when he dueted with One Republic on "Apologize." First of all, who knew he could connect without the aid of heaping gobs of melisma, and second, who knew he could do it on a contemporary song? If he had sung "Apologize" instead of that Chris Brown hot mess, it would have been an infinitely better performance.

David sounded great with ZZ Top ("Amish men?" ROTFLMAO!!!!), but most importantly, he made me want to buy the coronation song. I haven't done that since Fantasia's year. God, I think he's great.

The others (excepting Amanda) sounded great tonight. Michael and Carly blended their voices beautifully during that duet; Brooke sounded exceptional tonight -- who the hell knew she could belt out some Donna Summer and sound great while doing it? In particular, while singing a song about a prostitute????? I also thought her duet with Graham Nash was lovely.

Jason sounded great on "Hallelujah" (if a little nervous or overcome with emotion), and it was great to see Melinda in the audience, moved along with him.

I paused the tv and HOWLED when David Hernandez whispered "bold and . . . naked" during "Father Figure!" The AI producers are either clueless or more amusing than I previously thought! If I could have sent him a $20 through my tv screen, I would have done so! He would have EARNED his big money just for making me laugh THAT HARD!!!

Robert Downey, Jr. as a Pip was one for the ages, and Jack Black is a certified fool! I LOVED the Drips, er, Pips!

If Carrie Underwood had shown this much personality during Season 4, I would have been her bitch for the past three years. LOVED her tonight! I swear, the "let's get drunk and screw" thing she has going on is the most awesome thing in the history of ever. It was so great!!!

Cookie's Guitar Hero commercial was fab. Puppy's was peculiar -- the kid wasn't even BORN when "Risky Business" premiered, so it just struck me as odd. Not to mention, if you don't do the take-off in tidy-whities, you kind miss the point. Oh well.

All in all, great show! (And suck it, Simon! Glad you retracted!)

[Shawn - Lakewood CA to Sonia]

Linda didn't mention Puppy's GH commercial. FF to it and it was OK but missed the mark.

[Joanne]

Gayla and I were calling each other through out the show. Yeah you can blame me for her finding you. I totally hooked her up with your blog here. When Cook won, she called and I honestly didn't hear a word she said, we were both babbling. For once American got it right. Cook totally deserved it. One observation. David A, was totally relaxed tonight and it showed. For once he was having fun. Given time he WILL have a career.

Jason(my personal favorite) was absolutely perfect with 'Hallelujah' tonight. Glad they let him do that. Carly and Micheal were definitely hot with that old moldy 'The Letter'. Loved Chikeze's bits(he went home too soon IMHO).

Props for Cook here. He was totally cool bringing all the top 12 out when he did the coronation song and having them with him as he sang it. No one has done that the way he did it as far as I remember. Nice touch on his part. I am actually thinking Gayla and I are going to have to road trip for the tour now.

The Guitar Hero commercial was awesome! So very glad I recorded the show. DVRs are wonderful inventions.

I think for all the cheese and filler this one was probably one of the best finale's for AI that I've watched.

[Dawn]

Linda,

Thanks again for another awesome season of recraps. Tonight's was just as good as all the rest.

Like you, I had questions about Amanda tonight. At first, like you, I thought she was extremely pissed about something. She looked like someone had forced her at gunpoint to be on the stage. Then later on, it looked to me like she drank everyone's share in the green room.

Like Tiffany, I think Randy's suit looked EXACTLY like Captain Kangaroo's. And I have a friend who thought the same thing.

Thrilled with the end result. I would have liked to see Jeff Archuleta's face when they announced the winner.

Lastly, I almost missed the whole ending. I forgot to set my DVR to record past it, and when I came in from church at exactly the time it was shutting off, I turned it back on and hit record. Unfortunately, not before he said who had won RIGHT.AT.THAT.VERY.MOMENT!!!! So we watched the whole show already knowing who won! :-(

[spanx!]

hi linda!

from your #1 fan in the philippines,

thanks so much for another 5 months of
the best (and wittiest, and funniest!)
idol recaps on the 'net.

and boy,
i was surprised to read your reference
to the bataan death march...

i was just there at the exact place
where that tragic march's start-off point
just this past weekend.

and this Battle of the Davids
American Idol finale,

which was shown LIVE here on Philippine TV
this morning, where millions of us
also tried to hold back tears as
DC's name was announced as winner,

only serves to illustrate how strong
the ties between our two countries
are...

and yes,
Renaldo Lapuz helps strengthen
U.S - Philippines bonds. hahaha!!!

Is it January yet? ",)

[Medic42Long]

Newbie here. I've been lurking since I found this spot last year. I always enjoy coming here daily.

Thanks so much Linda for providing me with my daily dose of reality, humor, tears, disgust, WTF, and thought provoking info.

I sincerely appreciate all that you do for us. And having read all about your family, you life, you ills and your happy times I feel like I've known you forever.

I also cried when Cookie won tonight. I couldn't have been more proud of this amazing young man. Altho I've been teetering between he should win and he'd be better off coming in second. I was so disgusted with Tuesday nights whipping of Cookie that I nearly didn't watch tonight and threatened to swear off AI forever. But.... Once an addict always an addict.

Again, thanks for the entertainment Linda and all. I'll continue to lurk, or who knows, maybe even add my 2 cents from time to time.

Now, time for bed. I hung around on the off chance that Linda posted her comments. She did and now I can sleep.

[Leslie]

Linda, first off, thank you for all the hard work you put into this each season. It means a lot to all of us, and we really appreciate it.

Secondly, when David sang with ZZ Top, the first thing I said to my husband was "OMG, are they still alive?" ROFL That performance seriously rocked. I then said to my husband "That boy is going to be a star."

Finally, I was so sure Puppy's name was coming out of Ryan's mouth that when it didn't I got up and did a little dance. I can't believe David Cook won! America got it right this season!!! AND A ROCKER HAS FINALLY WON AMERICAN IDOL. WOOHOO!

[Dolf, Amersfoort - Netherlands]

What a finale!
Never expected to hear this combination of words: David.... COOK.

Tears for me as well and this was the first time since I started watching (season 5) that I felt the winner totally deserved it.
And that we deserved this winner!

Cook started this season looking a bit arrogant, but he transformed into a very respectfull and great man, and a wonderfull artist.

I thought Simon was disrespectfull on tuesday but it suits him he made apologies for that knock-out sentence.

Thanx for all the great recaps Linda and I promise I'll be back before we start another season of AI in January.

[Meg]

Linda,

Thank you so much for doing these hilarious recaps for us. You never fail to disappoint me with your wit. AI would not be the same without you.

[Stacey]

Linda,
Thank you so much for your awesome recaps - it's the HIGHLIGHT of the AI season! This had to be the best finale they have had in years and I would have been happy if either David won, but I am glad it was DC!
I agree with everyone above.....the Guitar Hero commercial and the ZZ Top duet were great!
Can't wait to see what you have in store for us next....how about SYTYCD?????

[Roxy]

Linda, Thanks again for all you do! I won't get to see the show 'til Thursday, so I really (REALLY!) appreciate the recap. You've done a great job this season and I am amongst the masses who value and appreciate you. THANK YOU!!!

[paydt in BG]

I've been so disgusted with this year's AI that I didn't intend to watch until the last 5 mins. last night. I came through the house and my husband had AI on so I sat down and watched with him. I am soooo glad I did. It was the best finale I have ever seen. (excepting the Mike Myers portion. GAG) Sure wish I had the DVR going. I would have rewatched that one several times and I never dreamed in a million years those words would have come from my fingers!! Glad Cookie won. ZZ Top and Cookie's GH bit were FAB-U-LOUS and made the whole night.

[Frankie]

Thanks, Linda. Great season of recaps and a season of AI that for the first time in years held my interest until the end (thanks to David Cook).

[audreyfto Linda and Tiffany]

Two BIG "Amens" for Linda and Tiffany! Or should I say three snaps up in a z formation with ice cream sundaes on top of brookies?! Thanks Linda for making me cry more than I have in the last ten years--some from heartbreak, some from pride and most from laughter!

[Connie]

Linda -- Absolutely loved your AI recraps over the past two years. Thank you for all the hard work you put into this.

[justadiversion]

Great show last night and great recap Linda! I totally agreed with everything you said. So glad that David Cook won!!!!!

[ChickyChick (Kathy)]

Linda, thank you for another season of laughter and word-play - you are a talented and gifted writer.

I laughed my head off at Culley's comment about ZZ Top - she is a truly a chip of the the old block...(ooops I didn't mean OLD!) Since I FF'ed through all the commercials I missed the GH bit, luckily, I have a backup DVR in the guestroom that records AI (just in case the main one doesn't), I had to run in there this morning after I read the recrap to watch it - great ad - I loved it!

I was the only one in our Idol Group at work who picked Archie to go home last night (they all thought that I was crazy to pick Cookie)...too bad I'm off on vacation for the next 6 days, now I won't be able to GLOAT about my superior picking skills! ...wait, too bad I won't be at work? UGH, I didn't really say that! I'm off to the races in Charlotte, so I will have a lot of catching up to do on DGMS, dayam, I might have to find a coffee shop to get my daily fix!

Thanks again for another great season, can't wait for the "regular season" to begin here at DGMS, I love everything you write!

[Theresa from Virginia]

After a mostly boring AI season this year, I have to say that last night's finale show was the BEST AI show EVER! I truly enjoyed almost all of it. The guests were great, the contestants were great, Carrie Underwood was awesome, ZZ Top and DC -- OMG!!! -- just a fabulous production from start to finish. Especially the finish, since DC actually WON! I actually cheered and bounced up and down on the sofa!

[Kathy in FL]

Linda, thanks for all your hilarious recaps. I'll be sticking around, and I'm looking forward to January.

David Cook, yes!!! I didn't expect to hear his name, either. My husband and I watched his performance with ZZ Top twice (and I haven't erased it from the DVR, so I may sneak in one more viewing today, hee hee). Aside from the Guru thing, it was an entertaining finale, and with the exception of Amanda, who looked p.o.'d, the contestants sounded and looked good. I hope Michael Johns makes an album at some point.

So happy about Cook!! Thanks again for all the laughs.

[Crystal]

I am so happy about Cook winning. He truly deserved in and is truly prepared. Thanks for the wonderful recaps all season. I will be here for the off season. Can't wait to read more from you.

Crystal

[mariah]

Linda---Love the recraps. Like everyone else I'm so glad that David Cook won. His performance with ZZ Top was amazing and the Guitar Hero commercial was spot on. The funniest thing about last night for me was seeing Seacrest breakdancing during Donna Summer's performance. I'm surprised that no one has mentioned that.

[Connie]

Great Show!! Great Result!!! David C is one class act. Sexy Sexy Sexy!! His rendition of Risky Business commercial was right on.. on the other hand not so much for David A's version. UGH!! Boxers???? No he didn't!!!
Ok, I'm gonna get clobbered for this one but did anyone else want to take a pair of scissors to Carries outfit? What was with the SCARF SLEEVES??? She could have used the extra material to cover her unmentionables. That outfit reminded me of something Dolly Pardon would have worn.

[Tracy]

I was so amazed that ZZ Top was there and DC was singing with them, I had to rewind it 3 times and rewatch. I have always been a fan of ZZ Top and to see DC with them was fantabulous.
DCs guitar hero commerical was great too. My daughter looked at me and say PLEASE tell me we are recording this... even she wanted to see it again. Poor Puppy tried, but I don't think he has ever seen the movie, or played guitar hero for that matter.
Brooke was great with Grahm Nash, love that song and it was the perfect song for her. I have to say that brought tears to my eyes.
This is the first time I have ever sat and watched an entire finale, usually I am doing other things and running in to see something that may catch my ear, but last night I sat through the whole thing... then my daughter had set something else to tape at 10 that I was unaware of and I see Ryan say..the winner is..and switch. I have never grabbed a remote and cancelled a recording and switched a station so fast. I got back to it in time to see DC hug Puppy... so I didn't miss much.
Thanks Linda for all the work put into this recrap every week... I know how much work it can be. You rock.

[OhioAttorney]

Wooohooo..mommas boy won!

[Elaine a.k.a. Cookie's Bitch]

DAVID COOK WON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HE WON!!!!!!!!!! Oh my god, I was SCREAMING!! Then he started crying, and applauded DA, he's just an all around nice, classy, talented, smoldering hot man. This is the first time since I started watching (season 5) that I feel the right person won. It was such a great feeling that I rewatched the moment about 5 times already!! LOL! I'm a sap like that. Oh, and the single is available at iTunes- and I LOVE IT! Sappy, yes, but he can sing anything and make it sound great! Of course, magic rainbow? Oy!

This definitely was the greatest finale ever. I can not believe how much I enjoyed it. Of course, it took about 20 minutes before it became really watchable, what with Mike Myers and all. I was just really pleased. I LOVED Hero, and was really suprised at how well DA sang Apologize. I said, "Where was THIS all season?" With him, I think it will come in time. He's just so young and unpolished. Cook is ready, DA needs time.

I'm so happy to see people from all over the world commenting today, because next year I'll be living in Madrid and hopefully I can get my Idol fix. Thanks so much for all you do Linda, this blog is an absolute pleasure to visit everyday!

Janna- OUR MAN WON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Linda Sharp on Puppy's Guitar Hero spot]

Had to go back and find it - honestly I completely missed it while FF through the commercials. (SO glad that was not the case with Cook's version!)

Puppy's was a watered down attempt of the same scene. Modest in boxers, very self aware. Not true to the original's trademark moves.

They should have given him something else to do besides try to live up to Cook's genius take on it!

Puppy's was just "eh"./

[Tracy]

Forgot to mention..what the hell was going on with Amanda? She looked totally "put out" to have to be there... like she was mad she had signed on and this was one of the obligations. She sounded like hell too. Such an attitude problem. When was she eliminated? For some reason, I was thinking she was top 10, but when they were listing the ones that would be on tour, I don't think her name was mentioned.

[Poohkie13]

I was just happy to see Jason Castro again...and here him sing a solo. I love that boy!!!

Oh, and David Cook DESERVED to win as I said in a previous post weeks ago!

Yay!!! (6th year in a row I have picked the winner from the top 10)

[Fran]

I will truly miss these recaps, Linda. I read this blog everyday, but love the AI stuff so much. Regarding Amanda last night--after the totally stoned look she had during her group performance, was it just me, or was she ABSENT the rest of the song?? I don't have TIVO, so I can't go back, but I looked and looked and didn't see her there anymore. I think they pulled her drunk ass out of there!!

[brian]

Best finale ever.

I just sat back and enjoyed it all!

When DC took the lead in the duet and the REAL difference showed, I knew who won! (even if the votes didn't add up)

Man, what can you say...?

Great duets!

Bryan Adams!

ZZ Top!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (real props to them - letting DC lead the entire song - not a duet or an intro - let his talent REALLY shine through - if he is a ZZ Top fan like me, that was the highlight of the season)

George Michael!

Graham Nash!

Carrie Underwear!!!!

The singing and harmonies were great!

Amanda added comedic relief... (she was just pissed that she couldn't wear that ridiculous do of hers)

Guitar Hero! Perfect!

And a great ending... for once even Ryan got it right.

Thanks Linda! I probably will be licking the screen waiting for my next fix... when I look back at the first season til now, it has been an amazing transformation!

[Nesee]

Loved the finale! Good news everyone, you won't need to spring for the $100 per ticket, I think we saw most of the Idol Tour last night! Speaking of tour, ZZ Top is on tour right now. Poor guys have to be in Florida tonight, after being in California last night. Hope that horse & buggy has overdrive!

Thanks for your wit this season, Linda!

[Mary]

YAY!

You KNOW Cook was on cloud nine performing with ZZ Top!

Cooks commercial was HOT, but did anyone else feel icky and semi pedophile-ish watching Archies? Put some clothes on that boy!

[Amy in CT]

Linda, Thank you so much for making a blech season of AI palatable with all your wonderful recaps. I especially want to thank you for the Recrappers' chat room. I have had a blast spending time there with my fellow DGMS addicts...you all know who you are!

I actually really enjoyed the finale, especially DC's performance with ZZ Top and of course his GH commercial.

Regarding Amanda...my only reaction was WTF? She didn't even bother to phone it in, I think she barely morse coded it in! I'm a Speech Pathologist and I couldn't understand one word she mumbled.

I got a kick out of the Pips bit with Stiller, Black and Downey Jr. I'm so happy to see Robert finally pulling his life together and having fun again.

Carrie Underwood...WOW! She certainly has come a long way since her Idol finale. She looked beautiful and sounded wonderful even though I'm not much a huge fan of her music.
I'll bet the children of the corny got quite the eye-ful while she was on stage..."I see London, I see France, I see Carrie's underpants" came to mind.

Finally, Jason- oh Jason! I know he comes across as a pretty eyed airhead, but listening to him sing just makes me smile. I hope he is able to carve out his own musical niche. I know that I would listen to his music.

I'm thrilled that David Cook won. I wasn't originally a Cook fan, but by spending time in the chat room and watching Janna melt every time he came on the screen I couldn't help but start to see a talented young man turn into my American Idol right before my eyes. Way to go DC!!! Congratulations and best of luck in all you do!

Thanks once again Linda. Looking forward to whatever else you share with us.

[Anke]

Good morning, Linda! What a great recap - loved it! Considering I wasn't on the Cook bandwagon until a few weeks ago, I was so happy to see him win - America definitely got it right.
Aside from Cookie's winning, my favorite part of the show was his performance with ZZ Top - that was so cool and you could tell he was having the time of his life. I thought I caught the whole show,but I missed the GH part - anyone know if there's link to it somewhere? I'd love to see that. Overall, great show.
Linda, thank you so much for all the time and effort you have put into this season, as you do with all of them - you are a true talent and I'm always anticipating your next rant, rave, anything.....well done!

[Karen in IL]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pfieqankw2c

YUMMY

[Anke to Karen in IL]

OMG Karen - thank you, thank you, thank you!!! That GH commercial was AMAZING!

[Kerry]

POWER OUTAGE!!!
No, I am not kidding. After 5 months and 6 days of faithfully watching, the power went out at my house, and I missed the WHOLE thing! OMG! WTF! ROFL...uh no. not that. But I'm too old to know any more abbreviated swears.

And I had so convinced myself that it was no big deal, I wasn't missing anything, and now it sounds like I did after all. Serious bag of downers.

Thanks for the link to the GH video. When I first read Linda's recap, I thought she said David AAA had done it, and I was thinking...Puppy? In his Underroo's? No way. But David CCC - makes much more sense.

Now I just have to go find the video of Cook singing with the old Amish Dudes. (Linda, reach over there and pinch your daughter for me. Old indeed...sniff!)

Have my ticket for the tour already, so hopefully it's equally as entertaining.

BTW - new RECRAP idea for Linda, since a good number of us happen to be children of the 80's and early 90's - CW is putting out a remake of Beverly Hills 90210. We should watch that! I know I wasn't the only one going "oh look - It's Dylan! when they showed him in the audience the other night!"

[Toni]

I did not cry last night, but I sure got misty at the end of this blog. Thanks Linda for giving us a place to vent, laugh, cry and make new friends!
I know at the end of last season it was a feeling of "Oh No, now what". I am not worried today, because we'll have lots to discuss and laugh about till next season.

[Julie G]

Here's the link to Archuletta's attempt at the Guitar Hero commercial. Probably wouldn't have been half bad...if we hadn't seen Cookie's HOT version first! No comparison.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KZbd2VrWbxE

[pkeelan]

This was my first time to watch American Idol from start to finish. With all of its flaws, it was a captivating capsule of what the American Dream is all about. I'm so glad David Cook won - it was a talent contest, not a popularity contest. Thanks, Linda, for your hilarious commentary!

[Julie]

I just have three words:

Ha. Ha. Ha.

The best MAN won!

[Lori in Texas]

I haven't been this happy with an American Idol final since Fantasia won. Seriously. I was so afraid that Cook wouldn't walk home with it, so when he actually DID, I was in tears. How awesome was he last night??? So gracious, so grateful, and a class act from start to finish. No one deserved it more than he did - and I can't wait to shell out my cash for his first CD.

Even the last song was good - and I just loved the way he kept including all of the other contestants, asking them to share in the moment. As ticked off as I've been at the show, in general, all season, I must admit that the finale was wonderful (with a few exceptions). Loved ZZ Top (I've got a great story about them, by the way), loved George Michael. Most of all, loved loved loved loved loved David Cook.

Well done, America. After too many years, we finally got an American Idol RIGHT.

NOW.... if we can just get rid of Paula, Randy and Ryan, dump the Ford and Coke promos, allow the contestants to sing ENTIRE songs, and stop the cheezy "mentoring" shows with outdated music celebs.... well, we might get this show back to being genuine entertainment.

[Marc AKA Slumrville]

It's amazing, the complete swing in emotions. This week, I went from excited anticipation to utter outrage to sheer joy, in the span of two days.

Last night's show was short on filler and jam packed with quality entertainment. Some of the performances weren't great, but at least we didn't have to suffer through another round of those dreadful GOLDEN IDOLS! There was so much to enjoy, and the icing on the cake (or COOKIE) was the crowning of David Cook! I feel vindicated, and I feel as though the show, in one night, completely redeemed itself. WAY TO GO AMERICA!!!

To my fellow DGMS chatters, see you tonight as we switch focus to SYTYCD! (Talk about addication!!)

And Linda - THANK YOU!

[Lori]

Linda, Thank you so much for such a great season. I read your blog everyday and I too appreciate all of your hard work. I will miss the AI recaps but will come in everyday to read your blog. What a great recap, I of course spewed coffe all over the keyboard several times. Mike Myers, that was awful, when he came out on stage my 3 year old said "Is that Jesus?" "Um, no, baby we will talk later." And when David Cook sung with ZZ Top my husband and I loved it but my 8 year old said exactly the same thing "are they amish, why are they there?" too cute! and Amanda, on the George Michael song, my husband said "Is she drunk???!!!" Also could not believe they made David Hernandez sing THAT line.I loved the whole show except for MIke Myers, really tasteless, Bryan Adams, OMG, Heaven was our theme song for my prom,brought back so many good memories and George Michael, I have his CD on right now, haven't listened in years but it still sounds so good, anyway, thank you again, I will miss this until January, you are awesome.

[Kari in WI]

Linda, the recap was hilarious. Thank you so much for making AI so much more enjoyable!!! And love me some DC!! So are you going to do Project Runway again this year? I hope so! Thanks again.