Ain't That a bITCH?

Don't you hate it when you get an itch somewhere on your back that you can't reach without monkey length arms, and no one is around to come to your aid?

There's not a single one among us who hasn't used a doorway, wall corner, hanger, ruler, or fencepost at one time in our lives to attack an itch we could not otherwise scratch.

And we all know that an itch can literally drive you crazy (although, admittedly, for some, that is a very short drive).

Meet Jorge Espinal, 44, of Fort Worth. 

Jorge was drinking beer with his buds and playing poker around 3am yesterday morning when he got a nasty itch along his back. 

Now, dudes being dudes and all, he wasn't about to compromise his machismo by asking his amigos to lend a hand.

So he got up, went to the other room and grabbed the first thing he could find to help reach the offending tickle.

A revolver.

And promptly shot himself in the back.

I'm not even kidding.  (That must have been one of those nasty traveling itches that moves around.)

He went back into the room where no one would believe him till they saw the blood trailing down his keister.

After they finished laughing, they took him to a local hospital where he was treated and released.

I dunno - call me old fashioned, call me cheap even, but I'm going to stick with the old school approach, Jorge.  This back scratcher is a helluva lot cheaper than a box of bullets, and besides, bloodstains are awfully hard to get out of the carpet...

(I'll scratch your back, you shoot mine?)

Comments

[Tracy]

Great Linda, now my back will itch all day. This does drive me crazy...which at this point is right down at the end of the block.

[Anke]

Talk about the power of suggestion! Where's my back scratcher???

[audreyf]

Uh, what about scratching your back on the corner of a door jamb? When no one is around, it works every time!

[janna]

Damnit! My leg just started itching!

[Mary]

Thank God for stupid people.
They give me something to laugh at all day!

[Dorothy]

I'll bet he's glad it wasn't his head ( either one - take your pick) that was itching.

[pamela]

LOL! Just use a pool cue or something, not...a gun. What my question is, where did this revolver come from? Was it his? Did he randomly find it? Was it a buddy's? I'm too curious for my own good...then again, I'm only 12...

[Toni]

LOL Dumbass LOL