A Losing "Streak"

This past Friday evening, as our youngest was finishing up a skills training session with her soccer coach - a young man I affectionately refer to as "Embryo" due to his age (24) - I asked him, "Just out of curiosity, and since I like to live vicariously through others, what does a single person do on a Friday night these days?"

He launched into all of his options, naming different bar areas, streets, etc in downtown Austin.  And with SXSW - the hottest musicapalooza in the country - in full swing, that came to the top of the list as well.

Sigh.

Those were the days, huh?  The workweek done, a weekend of endless possibilities stretched out before you.  Who might you meet?  What might you drink?  Who might you meet who buys you something to drink?  Oh the fun!  Oh the folly of youth!

(I will say, in all fairness to Coach Em, his weekends - at least during the day - are as crammed as are mine with soccer games, coaching, etc - he is also a player.)

I bid him a fun evening and pointed my completely unhot Mom-mobile towards home.  My Friday night consisting of cleaning the litter boxes, playing another game of Life with two of the girls, and waiting up for the oldest to call needing her ride home from a play rehearsal.

To quote Kendall, "A Woo Hoo!"

I well remember clocking out, spiffing up, and heading out to bar hop from Sports Bar to pub to Sports Bar again.  And while I was fairly lowkey - keeping my most outrageous activities confined to inebriated Skeeball sessions while Paula Abdul blared in the background, I always knew there were those around me pushing the envelope far further than I dared - dancing ON the bar, swapping spit with total strangers on the dance floor, engaging in chugging contests and then the hastily rolled doobie in the alley around the corner...

Well, times may change, but those Friday night thrill seekers apparently have not.

Meet Nicholas Hadzick, 30, of Freeland, Pennsylvania.

Young St. Nick is apparently one of those folks for whom barhopping doesn't quite fill the "fun bill".

Rather, this past Friday night found Nick shopping - well, maybe not shopping, but he did incorporate a cart at one point...

Nick entered Darrenkamp's Market, a 24 hour grocery store, around 1130pm. 

BUCK NEKKED.

And since simply sauntering among the cucumbers and cracked nuts was not excitng enough, he proceeded to go on a half hour tear - throwing anything that wasn't nailed down, flipping over a large pizza oven, breaking coolers, glass, flinging all caution, and loaves of bread, into the wind.

By the time employees managed to subdue him, he had caused thousands of dollars in damage, and given the graveyard workers one of the more exciting shifts of their careers.  Dealing with a naked customer whose mental shelves needed restocked doesn't happen every night, you know.

Police arrived and took the very inebriated Nick to jail.  He is being held on $200,000 bail and is charged with: risking a catastrophe, open lewdness, and public drunkeness.

OK, I can understand open lewdness.  I certainly don't need to be buying Ballpark Franks and buns and then see the real deal stroll by.  And public drunkenness?  Sure.  I would hope he was impaired on some level to make him think the deli department wanted to see some tubesteak up close.

But, 'risking a catastrophe'?

That one makes me laugh.

I typically think of 'catastrophes' as earthquakes (no word on whether any customers felt the earth move as he sauntered by), floods (I would have been in danger of drowning in tears of laughter), infernos (the images are kind of grainy, so it's hard to tell if he's hot or not) - you know, something apocalyptic.

But check it out for yourself.  Maybe I'm missing something.  Maybe I'm just an old fart.  Because if this spells excitement on a Friday night?  I think I'll just stay married, HOME, and fully clothed.

Besides, I kicked ass again in LIFE - and that's the only "streak" I care to be on.

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Comments

[Katy]

It's funny you covered this topic of what single people do...After breakfast at Village Inn with Ray and Calvin on Sunday morning, we drove home and on the radio they were announcing the seafood fest at Atlantic Beach this coming weekend - all the seafood you can eat, open bars everywhere, live music playing all day. I said, "back in the day, I would be out there. Smoking a few doob's before heading out, then spending the day with friends wandering through the crowds, drinking, eating, jamming with the bands (maybe even partying with the members on their breaks!!)...." Ray said "do you want to go next weekend?" to which I immediately replied, "NO!" It was fun when I was young and SINGLE, but I'm quite happy now hanging with the dogs, baking some good to eat and/or playing a board game or two with my son. How boring I've become......

[Vickie]

Having worked as a leg. asst. for 25+ yrs. let me try to explain how this works. The prosecutor determines the charges to be filed, ie Risking a catastrophe, open lewdness, and public drunkeness. Although I've never heard of "Risking a catastrophe," more than likely that charge is a felony, where the other two are misdemeanors. In simple terms, a felony involves a longer prison/jail sentence than a misdemeanor. So it's leverage for the prosecutor to negotiate a "plea bargain" with the defendant. Because the prosecutor is dangling a potential felony conviction over the guy's head, he'll be scared to death that he'll never be able to get employment again, etc. and he'll mostly likely take a deal for conviction of the misdemeanors charges and the felony charge will be dropped.
This happens all the time but the general public doesn't realize it. Once again, tax dollars hard at work.

[Kelly in PA]

Ahh.... the good old days! OK, maybe not my good old days, I can honestly say I never streaked a grocery store. But, I remember plenty of heavy duty party weekends and loved every minute of it. My husband and I went to dinner with friends this past Saturday. I told my husband on the way in to meet them that I could have just very easily stayed home with a pizza and a movie. I remember when it would have been torture to stay home on a Saturday, and now, it is a welcome respite from the kid-filled, work-soaked week. Anyway... we went to a bar down on the local strip to have dinner, not thinking that it was St. Patty's Day weekend. This bar is close to Gannon University, a local school, so you can only imagine how crazy it was there. We sat there and all 4 of us just kept complaining about how loud it was. I then realized, that everyone around was like 12, or there abouts. We ended up finishing our dinner quickly and going back to our friends' house where we had a few drinks, talked in the quiet, and went home to bed by 11:00. Now, that is what I call a Saturday night. WooHoo, indeed!!

[Theresa in SLC]

I wonder what Sheriff Andy Taylor of the small town of Mayberry would've done if Nicholas had done this in his town?

This is just from my imagination:

1. Let him sleep it off in the jail cell (he might have to share the cell with Otis, the town drunk).

2. In the morning, give him some clothes to put on and some breakfast.

3. Take him back to the store and make him clean up the mess he made.

4. Make him arrange to pay back these nice people at the store for all the damages he caused.

5. By this point I bet Nicholas will have learned his lesson and will be thinking harder about what else he can do on Friday nights that won't land him in Sheriff Taylor's jail cell again.

[Valerie]

I just had to laugh at the video. How very clever of them to show the franks, buns, naval oranges...
We used to go out alot in our younger days, now the party..well let's say 'get together' is usually at our house. Playing pool or darts having some cocktails with good friends. Kids downstairs playing the playstation or board games. I have to admit alot more fun than before and definatily safer.

[Valerie]

Definitely...oops

[Elise]

I must be a boring 24-year-old. No late night nude shopping for me! Lately all I'm doing on my free nights is studying for the GRE. Although I did take a roadtrip to Dallas for a concert a few weekends ago. Until April 18th, I will be boring. Then I will lust after Billy Joel at JazzFest!Although

[Katy to Elise]

Oh, honey - you're 24 and you lust after Billy Joel? Is there a "new" one or are we talking about the 50+ year old singer with the bug-eyes??!!

[Shawn to Elise]

Good luck on the GRE! I am so glad I did not have to take it to get into my grad program. Whew!!

Tho I feel your pain...I have my comprehensive exam on April 26.

[Elise to Katy]

The same! The one that's one wife number 3, I believe. My older brother got me addicted to him. He used to listen to Billy Joel and Black Sabbath on the way to school, and since I rode with him I became a fan. I was so excited when I saw on the front page of the paper that he was coming to JazzFest, that I bought tickets immediately.

The bug-eyes don't bother me so much. In fact, I could settle for him just calling and singing to me. I wonder how much that would cost me ... maybe I should ask Spitzer or David Vitter. I'm sure they would know.

[Elise to Shawn]

Thank you and good luck to you on your comprehensive exam! What are you getting your master's in?

[Katy to Elise]

Billy Joel and Black Sabbath?? What a combo! Talk about two ends of the spectrum!! No, honestly, I do like Billy Joel's music, although the radio station I listen to plays him to DEATH. I went to see him in concert in Atlanta back in the 80's - even just playing the piano and singing, he's very entertaining - have a great time!!

[Shawn to Elise]

Getting my MS in Counseling - Marriage and Family Therapy. What type of graduate degree are you pursuing?

[Elise to Shawn]

My uncle and cousin are family marriage counselors. My dad is a counselor as well. Come to think of it, people in my family seem to be either counselors or teachers. I'm planning to go for a degree in Sports Management.