M.O.M. = Mean Old Mom

I often tell my daughters that the letters of MOM stand for Mean Old Mom.

(Obviously, this comes up most often when they are railing against the fates, aka: punishment for their own bad behavior or choices.)

And you know what?  I take pride in that.  It means I understand my place in life, my job description.  And that I can stand my ground.

I am not their friend.  Friendly?  Yes, of course.  But not their friend.  I am their MOTHER, which means I have to be willing to catch them when they fall, but also break my foot off in their asses when they mess up.

It's a stance that is far too rare in today's parents-as-buddies society. 

You know - the ones who buy the kegs for the parties, set up fake MySpace accounts to harrass one of their child's peers, and provide excuses for every misstep their precious angels make.

Those stories fill the newspapers and websites.

So when a parent comes along who is not afraid to out their own child for some seriously bad behavior?  Well, I only wish I knew how to play the trumpet because they deserve as much fanfare as possible.

Meet Jane Hambleton of Des Moines, Iowa.  Jane is mother to a 19 year old son.

See Jane.

See Jane set two rules for son when giving him a car at Thankgiving: No booze.  No leaving it unlocked.

See Jane find alcohol under front seat of son's car.

See Jane take out ad in paper and sell car out from under errant son.

Go Jane.

That's right.  Jane set the rules and enforced them with zero tolerance.

Her ad reads:

"OLDS 1999 Intrigue. Totally uncool parents who obviously don't love teenage son, selling his car. Only driven for three weeks before snoopy mom who needs to get a life found booze under front seat. $3,700/offer. Call meanest mom on the planet."

Since placing the ad, she has fielded many calls - not just for purchase of the car, but from medical personnel, emergency room nurses, doctors - folks all too familiar with the by-products of teen drinking and driving - thanking her for taking such a hard line stance.

"It's overwhelming the number of calls I've gotten from people saying 'Thank you, it's nice to see a responsible parent.' So far there are no calls from anyone saying, 'You're really strict. You're real overboard, lady."'

Because she's not.  She is doing what a parent is supposed to do.  Set rules, follow up to see if they are, in fact, being adhered to, and when they are broken, insure consequences follow.  Consequences that send a fast and clear message.

Her son, for his part, denies that the alcohol belonged to him.  Jane says she is inclined to believe him, but facts are facts - the stuff was in HIS car.  Ergo he is guilty by association.  Someone he allowed in was drinking, and that's bad enough.

See son sulk.

But see son learn life lesson.

Go Jane, Go.

Comments

[Carmela]

Yeeeeaaaah! I GOOD parenting story. I can't believe it!!

Great ad! I'm printing this out for my son, just so he knows how crazy his momma will be, too.

I love the M.O.M acronym. I can't believe I didn't think of it myself over the last 14 frickin' years.

I tell my son, "I'm just doing my mom-job, honey." (Sometimes, for dramatic affect, I follow it up with, "It's a dirty job, but someone's got to do it.")

Maid-mom, Working-Mom, Sports-Mom, Friend-Mom.....have ALL left the building....Mean-Old-Mom is here to do her Mom-Job.

[janna]

Yes. Go Jane, indeed!

[Diane]

Way to go Jane!!!!!!!

You have to register to vote, and you need a license to drive a car, but there are no "requirements" to become a parent. This column should be required reading by every parent as they take their newborn home from the hospital, as their little darling "graduates" from grade school and high school.
Consecquences for their actions...such a profound thought!!

[Jacque]

I believe I'm a M.O.M. too and my daugher is only 14 months old. I'm told everywhere I go that she is so well-behaved, so happy, etc. She didn't get there on her own!

I once told my mom (I think I was about 6) that she was the meanest mother EVER (so dramatic!) and to add insult to injury, she cheered and began to plot where she would place her trophy when it showed up...she would be getting one, right?

[Katy]

Hate to brag too much, but I really have been blessed with a great son. Yeah, I have to get on him to do things, and yeah, he grumbles, tries to bargain "I'll do it later....let me finish this game.." and so on, but when it comes down to it, even at 12, he understands that I'm not doing these things or saying these things to be "mean." He knows EXACTLY why I'm doing it, and I think, even though sometimes he wishes I didn't, he DOES appreciate it. He's got all A's in his subjects at school right now (except one, but it's a B) and it's because I've been on his @ss constantly. He even thanked me the other night and I started to cry. That's the best gift a M.O.M. can get!

[Nancy in Birmingham]

I read this article and thought immediately that this would be a great one for Linda to write about--you're too fast!
You are a GREAT parent, Jane!

[mommy2kimberly&riley]

Yup, my daughter's nickname for me is "mean old momma". Personally, I'd like something other than "old" in the middle, but other than that, I wear that title with pride.

[Diane to Jacque]

I had to laugh when I read your comment because it caused me to remember when my oldest daughter (about 10 at the time), told me I used to be the meanest mom in the world, but now she thought I was the meanest mom in the UNIVERSE!!!!
My proudest promotion ever!!!

[Kristi in NC]

INDEED! Go Jane Go! It would be easy and well deserved if we all gave Jane a huge trophy or award. It's too bad though that all the well deserved, positive responses will have little to no effect on the parents who need it the most. I second the "Linda = required reading" for new parents motion!

[SK]

I just finished reading this when I opened up Linda's page and sure enough she's way ahead of the game. Mean Old Mum - that's fantastic Jane - with the number of Idiot Parents in the World around, this is indeed a proud title! Congrats.

[Stacey]

I purchased a 2007 Scion for my son last August as a graduation gift. He is a responsible person, good student and is attending a medical school two hours away. I told him if he EVER drank and drove, that car would be gone in an INSTANT! Even though he is away at college, he walks to the places he goes drinking with his friends. I occasionally get into his car and if I were to see anything like Jane saw, I wouldn't even HESITATE to sell that car out from underneath him. (The car is registered in his name and mine). GOOD FOR HER for taking the initiative to teach her child a valuable lesson! If more people would do that, there would be thousands of teenagers (and others) still alive!

[Jennifer]

Thank goodness there are still parents out there like Jane. (Not that I doubted there wasn't, I mean I read Linda every day after all...) But it is still nice to see someone stand up to their CHILD.

[Nikki]

Jane is pretty cool. Most parents I know would have believed their child and not put any consequences on the kid. And she is inclined to believe her kid but rules are rules. One day he may have a child of his own and will have several "Aha!" moments and think how lucky he was to have the meanest mom on the planet.

My own mother reveled in being called a mean mom. And now she is an occasionally mean grandma. Imagine not letting her 5 y.o. grandson cross the street by himself or stay home alone when she has to go to the store!

He says she is mean and that I am a mean old aunt as well. And his mom and dad are mean too! It takes a lot of mean people to bring up a good kid I guess!

[Sue, Sacramento]

When my boys were little I had them both in the cart @ the grocery store...they asked for something & I told them no. The standard response of "why" was answered with "because I am the meanest Mom in the whole world." I heard a laugh from the aisle next to us & man came around the corner laughing because he wanted to see what the meanest Mom in the world looked like!!! I am glad to know that I am in such good company with all of Linda's readers!!!!

[haileysmom / jamie in Wisconsin]

Count me in the M.O.M club! My darling 4 year old tells me regularly that I am a mean mom! I always say "Thanks - it means I am doing a good job!" I am an old school mom - and a firm believr in discipline and consequences for actions. She thinks I am mean now - I cant wait to see what she thinks of me when she is a teenager!

[Tracy]

I love this. My daughter received an older car for her 17th birthday and with it came the knowledge that it wouldn't bother me at all to sell it if I EVER saw her or if it was even hinted at the fact that she had her cell phone in her hand while driving. I even went so far as to call her cell phone to see if it was turned on when I knew she was driving.
She is also responsible for paying for the increase in our car insurance, her own gas, repairs, oil changes, etc. Any gripping about it and I will just help her out by selling the car. I also go through the car once a week to make sure there isn't anything in it that there shouldn't be. So far, so good...but I know in her mind she is thinking ... what a mean old mom.