Cops and Throbbers?

I love when karma intervenes and metes out its own form of justice.

Like when the a-hole who cuts you off in traffic by recklessly crossing three lanes at high speed gets a flat tire.

Or when the half-tard who lets their Bull Mastiff crap two-by-fours in your front yard slips on his new loafers only to discover said doggie has popped (pooped?) a loafer in them.

Yes, I like it when the universe sets things straight.

So it was that good old karma again stepped in yesterday during a convenience store robbery.

Derrick Kosch decided 4:20am was a good time to do a little shopping at the neighborhood Village Pantry.  Only Derrick wasn't looking to pick up some Doritos and Red Bull.  Rather Big D was looking to lighten the load from the cash register.

He pulled a semiautomatic handgun, grabbed the female clerk by the hair, and demanded she fill a white bag with money and cigarettes.

While she reached for the cigs, she heard a gunshot from behind her, turned, and saw that Jesse Shames had accidentally shot himself, in the nuts.  (And I don't mean a can of Planters.)

(That's gotta hurt...)

He managed to grab the bag and ran from the store - making it to his grandmother's home and declaring HE had been robbed and shot.

Well, Grandma called the police who arrived and set the record straight:  Derrick, the now one-balled-wonder had shot himself - the bullet traveled through his left testicle and into his thigh.

He was arrested and charged with robbery and criminal recklessness, and yes, he was taken to the hospital and treated for his injuries, meaning the now shredded scrotal sac, and the bullet in his leg.

Sadly, there is no cure for what really ails him: Shitforbrainsitus.

Comments

[Tracy]

I heard this story on the morning news and laughed my ass off... I knew you would be doing a story on it.
Speaking of Karma... I was driving to work last week when the highwas was icy and so I was going a little slower than usual, and some numbnuts behind me in a pickup kept honking and flashing his high beams at me. I was going about 45, not like I was crawling... so he decided to go around me. He sped up, got around me, and slid off the side of the road into the little ditch. I just waived and gave him a thumbs up as I went by... and he was out of his truck yelling at his truck.

[Kristi in NC]

LMAO - I'd have paid for that to happen to me. Too Funny! Karma ALWAYS triumphs. What comes around, goes around - full circle. We just aren't usually lucky enough to actually see it.

[audreyf]

I'm sorry, but that HAS to be just about the funniest thing I've ever heard. I called my husband(who also happens to be out of town :-( and told him about it and I swear we laughed for a good five minutes! What an idiot!

[Valerie]

Priceless!
Tracy too funny. I had a similar a couple of weeks ago. I'm driving home from southern utah, middle of nowhere in a freakin' blizzard. Night time and about 3 feet of snow on the freeway and everyone is single file in the middle of the freeway crawling. We had to, we couldn't see more than 5 feet in front of us. So this asswad in a jeep cherokee flies past us on the left. About 10 mins up the road there he is slid off smack into the embankment. I did have to honk and laugh!